Turtle chomp | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous >Turtle chomp >Chomp on leaf >Turtle chomp >But have no teeth *Chomp, chomp, chomp* Hahaha. :) 01/13/22(Thu)10:01:12 No.66969223 turtle chomp.jpg 35 KB JPG

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's bloodline is doomed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, thought she was bi tho >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair 14 KB PNG 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread

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Anon will wake up one day and adhere to such a discipline that he has never displayed even once in his life | /r/Greentext

nonymous 17 KB JPG 11/21/22(Mon)22:10:15 No.710752 >I'll do it tomorrow >I'll magically develop the discipline, commitment, drive and goals that I've lacked for my entire life when I wake up tomorrow >Things will get better then

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Anon has a shitty jeans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous A curse upon my anoose 160 KB JPG 11/17/22(Thu)14:21:54 No.71020058 >have a pair of jeans like picrel >wore them twice after i bought them >first time i was driving to work >fart >feel ass all greasy and moist >turns out i s--- myself >go home and switch pants, no witnesses >second time im at a bar ,mildly drunk >go to bathroom stall to piss >fart, s--- myself >quickly leave bar and ditch friends,think no one noticed >yesterday i was moving stuff to new apartment >i just spilled coffee on my pants >open drawer, the only pair of jeans left is the ones i s--- myself in TWICE I have a job interview in 30 mins and this is the only pair of pants i have to wear. Already feeling my guts churn and stomach hurting Im going to s--- myself today, arent l?

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Anon likes MASH | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri)13:31:14 No.179155419 >>179155284 I have fond memories of this despite being younger > Come down stairs one night at age 9/10 at like 2am > Hear the TV on in the lounge > My Dad is watching MASH, Can't remember the episode but Trapper and Hawkeye were stealing blood from Frank whilst he slept > See Hawkeye in a hawaiian shirt and cowboy hat > Episode finishes, expect Dad to shuffle me off to bed > He asks me if I want to watch another > Spend the next few hours watching MASH until the sun comes up > The next day when having tea he brings me a glass of water in a martini glass and calls me Hawkeye Thanks OP for reminding me of this memory

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nick anondams goes to bodega | /r/Greentext

File: mgwxg33oytba1.jpg (40 KB, 640x438) Nick Adams (Alpha Male) @NickAdamsinUSA I was at a bodega this morning when I saw a small boy ask his mother for some candy. As I saw her hand reach for a package of M&Ms, I cried out and left my place in line to stop her. Once I informed her M&Ms had gone woke, she thanked me profusely and opted for a Twix instead. 9:46 AM Jan 13, 2023 42.5K Views 84 Retweets 69 Quote Tweets 715 Likes alpha activities >at bodega >waiting in line blubbering at the mouth wetting myself waiting to scream at something >see infantile child getting some m&ms by their suffering mother ⠀ (ID: /cKcbQQn 01/13/23(Fri)11:05:29 No.16845282 >lessgo.jpg >begin sprinting towards them at Mach 10 >shove the 5-year-old out of the way, concussing him >begin screaming and beating the mom for infecting their Christian child with woke communism gay m&m queer grooming >she and her now-disabled child run off >envelopes detailing her eviction fall out of her purse This is how you stop the woke neo-Marxist mob

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Anon had a peculiar date experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 14 KB JPG >next day >date arrives 04/22/18(Sun)16:19:55 No.766669688 >3 days ago >Find girl on meet me >great convo >get along great >she is 19, average build with a cute dorky smile >agree to go on a date next night >5 minutes in she shows me a picture "Oh did you little sister draw that!?" "Lol no I did Anon!!!!" >poker face >shows me a picture of her fridge full of stick figure drawings of her family "....oh very nice." "Lol right!" >shows me her Devianart Page >furry p--- >leave the table >swear off dating for a while

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Anon gets a compliment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous brootal 01/13/23(Fri)15:19:50 No.71807626 >be me >20 yo >getting some papers for work >lady on the counter is in 40s moderately attractive >"Hello, your id, anon." >"Hmm, why are you bald on your id and now you have hair?" >"I used to shave my hair back then." >"Don't do it again, you have a prettier face now, baldness never brought anything good. Take care." >mfw 135 KB PNG View Thread

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anon gets banned from reddit | /r/Greentext

>soon I will ascend >soon سامة Anonymous (ID: 9iouC1xA 01/12/23(Thu)22:59:15 No.411993822 >be 10th tier jew lord >shekel keeper >sitting in my cave surrounded by gold and jewels given to me by the German government >nobusinesslikeshoahbusiness.jpg >my Palestinian child servants enter my feeding chamber >"L-Lord Rosensteinshekelberg... t-the reuben crops aren't growing" >WHAT?! >how dare they bring me such news >"Myehh!" I screech as I rake a talon across their little faces >after I become bored with beating my servants I slither across my lair and soak myself in a nice warm tub of freshly harvested foreskins and consider how to best remedy the lack of reubens >feelsgood.jpg >I can feel myself growing stronger from the foreskins' essence

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Anon hates processed OJ (you should look at how it's processed and stored) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 75 KB JPG : Anonymous 142 KB JPG >>892505259 # 01/12/23(Thu)11:52:46 No.892504427 >orange juice from concentrate you shouldn't even be allowed to call this stuff orange juice it's an entirely different product : Anonymous QUACK !!! 01/12/23(Thu)11:54:05 No.892504760 >>892506657 # >>892504427 (OP) # Go f--- yourself : Anonymous >>892504760 # what's the matter dude 01/12/23(Thu)12:07:22 No.892505259 : Anonymous 01/12/23(Thu)12:40:51 No.892506557 >Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice >It said concentrate on the carton 01/12/23(Thu)12:42:09 No.892506619

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Anon and his best friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.24 MB GIF 01/13/23(Fri)12:30:57 No.71806451 >Be me 20min ago >Ask my best friend if I am her best friend >She ask me if she is my best friend >She responds that she thinks of me as a good friend >My heart is ripped out There is no sexual tension btw, I don't see her like that and I am too young for her (about 15 years younger I think) 1 Reply View Thread 01/13/23(Fri)15:16:56 No.71807609 : Anonymous >>71806451 (OP) # where are you getting these best friends that are 15 years older than you

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Anon is not joining | /r/Greentext

How E-girl influencers are trying to get Gen Z into the military LIFE & CULTURE - FEATURE Cosplay commandos are posting nationalist thirst traps to mobilise the SIMPs - but why? 10th January 2023 genz.png 134 KB PNG Roasties are encouraging their beta simps to throw away their lives to protect Chad's harem from foreign forces.

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Anon gets a core memory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 195 KB PNG 03/24/21 (Wed)19:36:28 No.62896081 >girl in 11th grade once said I have pretty eyebrows and the girl next to her agreed >still remember it to this day

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