"You are good but not my best" | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 116 KB JPG 08/02/23(Wed)06:22:29 No.29495226 >intimate moment with GF >She says "You are good in this, and i know that well, i have the experience with many other men but you are one of my favorites" >immediately stop, grab my stuff and leave her apartment >she send me an angry audio claiming that she doesn't understand what happened at all >i try to explain it to her and she calls me "insecure" First of all we were having an intimate moment as a couple, do i really have to explain to her that bringing up the fact that she had multiple cocks inside of her is something repellent for any man? Well there may be cucks out there but I'm not into that s---. Not only that, she said i was "one of her favorites". She made me feel cheap, like if she was thinking in another man that she considered a better lover than me while we were f------, that was EXTREMELY insulting and humiliating. It seems that if you are not the first one you end up being just "another one". I feel that way, like she thinks that if i wasn't her first c--- then I'm not going to be her last one neither, the grass will always always be greener elsewhere. It's just that we have been together over 2 and... Nevermind, any advice? This situation is f----- up. I would like to think there is a better solution than simply breaking up but I don't see much other options.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Okay anon, perhaps try taking it easy on the hentai | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)22:30:10 319 KB PNG No.28529889 >roommate decided he was a woman and started transitioning >started estrogen, grew his hair out, actually looks pretty good now >lately has been having lots of guys over >one day I hear him talking to a someone, go to the living room >roommate is in an orange kimono and seeing out this absolutely massive six foot black guy >black guy leaves, roomie turns around and sees me >gives me this giant grin >I ask him if he prefers black guys and start making fun of him >all of a sudden he's up in my face >tells me i probably have a tiny d--- >i do have a tiny d--- so i get embarssed and insecure >he starts making fun of me >wft i'm so hard right now >tells me to take out my penis and he'll tell me if it's smaller than the guy who just left >I do nothing >he goes to pulls down my pants but i don't stop him for some reason >sees my penis and starts laughing at it, rubbing it >i get red faced >roommate pulls out penis and says "see i'm a woman now and even i have a bigger d--- than you do" >I start tearing up w-- >roommate kisses me on the forehead and rubs my cheeks >"don't worry anon, everyone deserves to be loved >kneels down >sucks me off >i bust the bigggest nut i ever have in my life >he swallows it >smiles at me and goes back to his room >go back to my room and cry this happened like an hour ago and i'm in tears right now w-- didn't i stop him I feel like such a f----- and it's all your fault, I know that bitch browses this board

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Anon work for greedy corporate with average wages below 5 dollars per hour and dont know how minimized his wage for better life circle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 03/08/22(Tue)04:29:40 No.874001773 >live in Georgia (usa) >make $7.49/hr >just paid 4.52/gallon for 16 gallons >thats $72.34 to fill up my tank >that is more than an entire days work >dont tell me "get a better job" because thats besides the point >your "first world" economy is FAILING when ANY of your full time working citizens have to surrender more than a days wages just for transportation >not to mention because of inflation 10% of the money i make vanishes anyways >im not just demoralized im f------ panicking

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Anon drinks milk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ultimate virgin story 39 KB JPG 01/14/19(Mon)17:22:23 No.50422139 >Family is hiding the milk away from me because im a bit overweight >start crying : Anonymous >>50422139 (OP) # >milk How much milk are you drinking fatty 01/14/19(Mon)17:53:29 No.50422520

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Anon enjoys onions | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Exact moment you became a robo(...) 42 KB JPG 08/28/17(Mon)14:06:59 No.39366814 >halloween >some guy gives me a caramel apple >bite into it >it's actually a caramel onion >everyone laughing >am 5 >don't get the joke >happily eat my delicious candied onion >laughter turns to confusion >"that's an onion, buddy...." >"I like it!" >adults all visibly disappointed Fate's die was cast, Halloween 1995.

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No Place on Earth is Good | /r/Greentext

BORN TO FEEL 14 KB JPG >be american >get fat, get shot, become poor because surgery is 100 000$ >be african >be african >be european >get beheaded by isis >be asian >suicide because of stress and no gf >be australian >get killed by venomous animal and lose war against emu I guess no place on earth is good after all

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Anon has a point. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/23(Wed)08:12:19 No.19561552 1624082313131.png 449 KB PNG Truth is nobody knows what are they talking about, except a few who wasted years of their lives on topics. Truth in most cases doesnt even matter, humans can survive without it. Everything thats on the internet its just a quick dopamine hit. Nobody cares about anything, plus humans are prone to being wrong. Being a stupid ignorant retard is part of the human condition, and those a little smarter capitalize on it big. Your post doesnt matter, my post doesnt matter, because we both dont know what the f--- are we talking about, we're here to argue calling eachother f------, and get that dopamine hit.

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Anon understand that College is a scam | /r/Greentext

File: 1609519716721.jpg (36 KB, 680x659) >student loan reform in the late 1970s to early 1980s >sudden surge of movies promoting wild college culture to induce FOMO

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And then he woke up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/22 (Fri)11:09:15 No.886912133 >be me >finally got a gf a few months ago >be yesterday >take gf to have dinner at my childhood house >excited for her to meet my parents >friendly greetings ensue 8 KB JPG >I show her around while my parents finish preparing dinner >show her my room >big bins of legos, shelves of built lego sets, and anime figures >"Wow anon, your parents bought you alot of toys when you were little" >remember "be yourself" dating meme >tell her that I actually bought all of them after I moved out >explain that I moved them out of my apartment and stored them here after we started dating >admit I did that because I didn't want her to think I was a man-child >she makes face like pic related >oh f--- f--- f--- >f------ f---, why did I tell her that? I just ruined everything, f--- me >"Anon..." >"Yeah?" >"I think I love you" I've never felt such warmth in my heart, I think I made it, I think she is the one

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Arkham's Most Dangerous Inmate Has Escaped! | /r/Greentext

File: 354E3D07-A35C-40C6-AA98-4(...).jpg (71 KB, 512x384) ☐ "And that's why the Roof Koreans hate Superman! Not as much as me of course" Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)22:51:22 No.138605711 ► >>138605909 >>138606170 >>138606214 >>138606233 >>138606311 >>138606685 >>138606763 >>138606780 >>138606794 >>138606805>>138606832 >>138606949 >>138607388 >>138607389 >>138607439 >>138608569 >>138608627 >>138609507 >>138609533 >>138609679 >>138611188 >>138618124 >>138618801 >>138619294 >>138620436 >>138622034>>138623280 >"Now for some Gotham news, looks like the Fattener busted outta Arkham and on the loose AGAIN. Man is that place a revolving door or what? All you Gotham girls on diets better lock your doors." "Anon, you're on the phone." Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)22:52:43 No.138605740 "Bruce Wayne does not eat out." >>138605950 ☐ Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)23:04:41 No.138605950 ► >>138616001 File: 20098076-5046-497A-B523-4(...).jpg (60 KB, 600x450) >>138605740 >Pssh, knowing him it's all he does. Mommy and Daddy die young, no birds and the bees talk, baby baby how I make baby? Why do you think a rich d--- like him is still single? Major flopsy! Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)23:17:44 No.138606233 >>138606564 >>138605711 (OP) Hey, Leslie! Long-time listener, first-time caller. I wanted to know what your stance is on the very serious accusations being thrown around concerning your vagina and Bababooey. Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)23:35:28 No.138606564 ► >>138606694 >>138618154 File: F4214C48-07C0-48C3-A9FF-9(...).jpg (33 KB, 640x480) >>138606233 >Stop it with the aimless rumors. I hate you nutter callers. Oh, Bruce Wayne is Batman! Oh Lex Luthor is my bastard dad! Oh Pierce Brosnan is infamous supervillain The Fattener. Oh I have syphillis. This kind of nonsense ought to be kept off the air! Just for that, I'm putting on nickelback! Anonymous 08/01/23(Tue)00:17:59 No.138607439 ► >>138607638 File: Bierce Prosnan.jpg (61 KB, 720x711) >>138607064 >>138606763 >>138605711 (OP) [Muffled voice] >"Hello Ms. Willis" >"First time caller, long time listener, I've really enjoyed your growth as an entertainer. You've really swelled in popularity since you first debuted" >"I must admit I'm a fan of your well-rounded coverage of the societal issues and opinions currently expanding in our city" >"I hope you enjoyed the chocolate chip muffins I had delivered to your studio this morning" >"Hope to be seeing.... more, of you soon"

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anon is powerful | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 155 KB JPG 02/19/18(Mon)05:54:53 No.760416428 >be him >beat a child almost to death >get in prison >women donating 1 million dollar to bail him out of prison >get model job after prison >is marrying billionaire daughter >is cheating on billionaire with ex >billionaire forgives him Look don't matter. If you wanna get somewhere in life you gotta work for it. Right guys? 111 Replies (28 Imagen View Throad

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Anon shares stories from their time as a tailor. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)15:12:00 No.59304465 ► >>59304493 >>59304498 >>59307528 Worked as a tailor at a wedding dress shop for a few years. Some stories to share. >when a bride came into buy, seller took her waist measurement. >Most were 28" or lower >If it was over 33" we could get so much more money from them, upselling them to more expensive dresses and those meme waist trainers. Fat tax > Over 36" we were told to never be alone with them, as they were emotionally unstable, and turn the AC down to 16c so the shop didn't smell. >Over 40" owner had to be with us at all times due to emotional unstable and they would go on about body posi and abuse staff. Often would also have food items with them which were banned, often resulted in soiled dresses. emotional unstable First story in next post Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)15:15:00 No.59304498 ► >>59304542 >>59304544 >>59304621 >>59304646 >>59304794 >>59304465 >first experience of a fatty in the shop. Been there one month, going about my day and go to check on a bride doing try ons with colleague and boss >36"+ >trying on size 12 sample dress, It won't zip up. >Fairly common, we just hold it up and they see how it looks before ordering one their size. >Fatty insisted she was a size 12 like Marilyn Monroe. >We explain that we run on old fashion sizes, our size 12 is actually a size 8. >I explain that a high street 12 is a 18 in our store (My boss always made me explain I wasn't trying to be mean) >fatty reees. >Fatties friend reees. >Boss sends me away to go back to sewing. >ten minutes later boss comes into sewing office with dress. >Fatty and friend had pushed staff out of the way and friend tried to force the zip closed. > Zip caught fabric on the other side, then zip broke open with zip at the top. >Said when the zip bust open all her back rolls burst out and it was audible. >they cut the top of the zip off to get her out. >Boss charged her full sale price of the dress as fatty ruined it. £3500 >"Hey anon want to get paid overtime tonight and fix this?" >Dress took half a hour and a new zip to fix. >Fatty actually liked the dress and ordered one in her own size. Which was a 20 in the end. >Boss made up that a 20 was a special-order size, and would cost an extra £500 >fatty would be charged max alteration fees on her dress, £400 more. >fatty fell for the waist trainer meme which cost £60 >next week boss replaces our crappy iron. Says fat tax paid for it as the new one was expensive. >We named the iron after her. Dress cost her around £8000 that day. A thin person would have been half. But healthy eating is too expensive. Have a few other tales if people want Anonymous 01/11/21 (Mon)15:27:49 No.59304646 ► >>59304750 >>59304794 >>59304498 After that day >Talking about zip fat >I ask boss why she sells and stocks dresses for people that size when all they cause is issues. >She says they're too profitable. >If we advertise that we stock dresses up to a size 26, we get all the size 26's. Because there are no other stores inside a 3 hour drive which have as many dresses in that size as us. >If they break it, they brought it, which includes sweat smells/stains for try ons. Fats actually sign a paper to agree to that before going for try ons, they always think they're not really that fat. >Fats have fat friends who also will come to us to shop >means we can advertise that we're a body positive shop and get all the good press >we make around £3000 bonus on every fat >>59304465 I hope you arent bullshitting Thats funny as f--- that certain sizes required additional supervision >>59304465 kek sounds right on the mark. you don't get that fat without being an out of control lunatic. additional staff. In fittings fatties can't stand up still for long as sometimes faint when asked to stand still for 10 minutes. The extra people are there to try and stop them hurting the dresses, or themselves, on the way fall down. Shockingly common, especially in for those under 30. I've had a 16-year-old bridesmaid with a 37" waist faint on me. My colleague had to grab her around the waist and ease her to the floor. The mother then said her kid got low blood sugar. Produced snacks from her bad and fed them to this kid sat on the floor in a dress. >>59304498 Where does a fat person gel 8000 pounds and maintain thier weight? la credit card Or daddys card or would be poor f--- of a husbands card. They pay that much because they're obsessed with looking like a disney princess. every single one. Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)17:16:46 No.59306226 ► >>59306265 >>59306549 >>59305862 Story 2 >W takes me to the kid. Wait that's my Bride. > B is tiny. 4'9 and her waist is 21". We checked her ld she was 22 Anonymous 01/11/21 (Mon)16:40:41 No.59305717 ► >>59305862 >>59305882 >>59305630 >Boss takes W out to help clean before the starbucks prints stain. >B2 keeps going on the usual tumblr s--- about being fat. >B1 starts telling us the nice things they have planned for the wedding and honeymoon. >B2 goes quiet. >W is with a 33"+ and her fat friends looking at dresses. >They start looking and jeering at my B who's stood on a plinth while I fit her. >Start unhooking B2 >"OH EM GEE thank goD that skinny bitch is GONE she was HORRIBLE!" >G literally said nothing but niceties to them. >I'm 150lbs and 5'4, overweight but do NOT put me in your club >s--- talks G and tries to get me to join her. >I unhook B2 and take her dress off her. >OH god the STENCH >W tells 33B that we can't zip the sample dresses up else they'll rip. >Fat bride starts yelling and causing a scene. >Me and B look at each other and laugh. >It hits me like a wall once the dress forcefield is off. >she's stood there in white pants and bra. they were once white. >I give her a robe to put on until her time comes to fit. >She continues to s--- talk G for being skinny and saying G was rude to her. >W comes in with Boss. >W asks me to help her sell a dress to a bride. >Bride came into the store in tears. She has been laughed at and picked on when she went to another nearby store that morning. Staff had shamed her for her size >It's the week after we had b2. Anxious. >Peer through window and see a 33+ plus, her fat friends and family (worst people and enablers) in the lobby and their kid. >Next fitting is in 2 weeks. >50lbs sure. >B is sat in reception sobbing. >Other store had promised they would have a dress for her as she is getting married in a week and it's a rush. She's here alone >Girl got called a child and a skinny bitch among other things at other store. >We reassure B that I can make any dress she wants fit her. We even give her free alterations because we want to make up for the s--- time she had. >B perks up, she's Russian and has very little English. >but somehow we vibin' looking at dresses and me showing her how I adjust them. >we pick her out a really nice dress. We end up in the changing room in the middle of the store, open and others can see as they walk past. (curtains pull aro Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)15:39:53 No.59304794 >>59304963 >>59305262 >>59305493 >>59305630 >Fatty hears and shouts "what are you laughing at!?" >I was going to shout over that B and I were just laughing about how B's dress is taller than her as a quick out >B shouts back in all of her English >"No buffet at my wedding" and then starts speaking Russian >Stops and smiles back down to me. >>59304646 >>59304498 >We hear nothing from W or her bride. Apparently, she brought the cheapest dress in the store that fit. She was my favourite. Worst story >Get to work >check plan for the day. >Whole afternoon blocked out for a fitting with three staff. Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)17:19:46 No.59306265 ► >>59306226 based russian chick i hope she had a great wedding >Oh no it's a 40+ >Boss laughs and tells me to wait and see. >Finish lunch >We prep fitting room. >Extra wide stools, at the ready for them to sit on when they feel faint. >AC down real low. >team wait at reception for the bride >Brides >"Hey girls can you please help meeeeeeee!?" >I look around the curtain, b2 had got so impatient she tried to get the dress on herself. >She tried to pull it over her head (wedding dresses always get pulled up and on) >fastenings got stuck on her 8 pieceings and she was like a like a fat white ghost haunting our fitting room. >G taps out and claims to go get something from sewing room so she can go laugh >on my own >Two of them >Both 300lbs+ in my guess. But I know measurements not weight. >First introduces herself >She would have a real nice face 200lbs lighter. Makeup nice, seems clean, okay, seems sane. >Turns to second one >"This is is my fiancée" >My guess is 350-400lbs. >face is basically >>59301021 >They explain they were in the next room and the walls are thin. >Didn't appreciate b2 talking about staff that way and putting me in danger by trying the dress on without help. >Boss talks to b2 like a child and tells her off. >Hair boy short and bleached in places with colour >Balding at the back >Explains that they're actually not a girl and want us to use They/theirs >We nod and say of course yes. >We'll respect your pronouns. Especially when we're s--- talking about you when you leave. >They get excited "Omg I can't wait for you guys to make me look like a disney princess! >Guys >Disney princess >real progressive left lol nonymous 01/11/21(Mon)16:35:05 No.59305630 ► >>59305717 >b2 starts to cry and apologize >"I'll be better I'm sorry I promise next time I come for my fitting I'll be 50lbs lighter too which will be better I was just jealous because b1 got to try her dress first and I didn't want to wait! >No one mentioned her weight. >Clearly uses it as a false promise every time she gets told off for something so people get off her back. >>59304794 Going to call brides B1 and B2. Colleagues for this were G who was the other tailor on team, she was 115lbs. And W who sold the dresses, she was 50 something, 42" boobs and a 30" wais t because of boobs she looked big. >>59304794 >Makeup nice Lol I never understood this. How can you care about your appearance enough that you'll take time out of your morning to paint your face, but somehow not care enough to lose weight - which would make you 10x better looking than any makeup > tumblr bride (B2) also brought a fresh pink and cream starbucks with her and get pissy when boss said she couldn't take it with her into the fitting room. >B2 claimed her blood sugar would drop too much if she didn't have it. >Boss handed her a bottle, and took the starbucks in one smooth move. >Boss was the smoothest m----------- when duping fats. >Oh I understand I'm diabetic (she was t1 but used it to make fats trust her), here have this it'll help your sugars. >bottle of basically lemon water with sugar. Smelled like floor cleaner. But fats always fell for it and it didn't stain anything if they spill it. >W sets them up in fitting room. Brides wanted to be there together, but have a curtain between them so they couldn't see each other in dresses. Sure, cute. >B1 is actually okay, she works with us and is almost like having a thin person in a fat body. >Turns out B2 had taken all her fatbrainness. >Me and G work on b1 so quirky >W stands at end of curtain to watch both of them. >B2 starts to go on about how they're having the wedding on pride day >goes on about rebellious they are for having a gay wedding >we're so quirky we're both wearing converse instead of high heels because they're evil >B2 starts to ask how long we're going to be on B1 because she's bored (lol she wanted snacks). >We say a while because it's a big dress and big hem so it takes us a long time to work on. >B2 says she's going to go pee >waddles out >5 minutes later boss comes back in with b2. B2 had tried to sneak into the staff room for her Starbucks. >on the waddle back, b2 started to touch all the sample dresses she walked past. >ew sticky fingers Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)17:44:41 No.59306607 ► >>59305862 You're a hero, loving these stories. >>59304963 Same reason why you procrstinate until last second for studying Anonymous 01/11/21 (Mon)16:49:06 No.59305862 ► >>59306226 >>59306266 >>59306358 >>59306607 >>59305717 Fittings are 6 weeks away, 4 weeks, 2 weeks and day before wedding. But b2 missing the 4 week. >b1 was silent the rest of the time. >Next fittings they came separately and b2 had three staff In her fitting watching her. >b1 was fine and actually real nice. >14 days before wedding b2 has her final fitting. >came in with her average size mum >Me and W getting the dress on her >it wont zip >Not going anywhere >W asks b2 if it's her time of the month >B2 asks why >we explain the zip wont go up >"Well it WENT UP LAST TIME!!" >W explains we can't do it up or we will damage the dress >B2 starts to cry >We take dress off and re-take her measurements >Last fitting her waist was 44" >Now 52" >Gained 8" on waist in 4 weeks. >Gained 8" on waist in 4 weeks. >b2 tries to blame meds >Mum says she has had no meds change >b2 to blame stress >Mum says she has no stress doesn't work >b2 tries to blame SAD >I ask what SAD is. Playing the game to make her have to explain it in basic terms to poke holes in it >I point out it's July >We call boss in. >Boss tells her to give up and go home. Go on 1200cal a day >b2 tried to fatsplain >Boss is having NONE of it >Tell b2 that she eats 1200cal a day, come back in 10 days and the dress will fit. >says if it doesn't fit that it b2's fault for over eating. And she will be charged £150 per hour for us to alter her dress to have a corset back. >Boss somehow gave a fat an ultimatum to lose weight. >b2 actually stuck to 1200cal and got into the dress. >Boss is a f------ wizard. Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)17:26:25 No.59306358 ► >>59306459 File: 1608095760157.png (772 KB, 1080x1055) >>59305862 >>Boss somehow gave a fat an ultimatum to lose weight. >>b2 actually stuck to 1200cal and got into the dress. h--------, like a miracle Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)17:19:46 No.59306266 >>59305862 That is amazing, i would love a like that TALES FROM THE /fit/Tailor By ANON 01/11/2021 "WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT" - ZYZZ

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Anon does it for cheaper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous IMMIGRANTS STEALING JOBS? 148 KB JPG 08/02/23(Wed)01:26:51 No.74241254 >am yuropoor, working for an outstaffing company >got contracted out to a western company a few months ago >getting great performance reviews >today the two other developers on the team get pulled out from our daily meeting >20 minutes later the team lead tells us he just found out they got fired >the company will contract more people from my company instead >i got two people fired just by working for pennies on the dollar feel like s--- anons am i the problem

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Know Your Meme

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