Anon has a dog | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 100 KB JPG 12/18/22(Sun)15:06:33 No.71445453 >when i was a kid we got a family dog and named her Lolly >15 years later, because of you assholes i had to rename my dog to f------ Jolly

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext eye organism font plant

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (750px x 327px)

File size: 28.2 KB

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

View All 43,720 Images

More:

anons philosophise | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>18313283 # >In English I can both read and potentially understand a word I've never encountered before Okay, without looking it up, tell me what 'enormity' means 09/03/22(Sat)16:36:36 No.18313528 >>18313532 # >>18313849 # Anonymous >>18313528 # your mothers stripper name 09/03/22(Sat)16:38:56 No. 18313532

Pin

Op trolls Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG 07/13/18(Fri)01:14:01 No.774184761 >be me >not a reddit user >love 4chan greentext, post almost everyday >go to check reddit greentext for s---- and giggles >I recognize one of them >it's a greentext I posted not 30 minutes earlier on Achan >mfw he got 1k upvotes from my content >mfw reddit users steal my greentexts and there's nothing I can do about it >mfw this one is gonna get stolen too

Pin

anon talks about his sex life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I'm a lost cause THERAP HELIUM 12/18/22(Sun)00:16:25 No.890928831 107 KB PNG >be me >early 20's >nearly a virgin cause I couldn't get it up with the same girl 2 times >4 years pass by >some opportunities to f--- half- decent females >everytime they always cancelled it 24 hours before. Everytime with no exceptions. They always change their minds >starting to lose hope cause it's always an outside factor not in my control >1 week ago, trying to blend with normies and go to the club with some friends >2 females in their 30's approach us and talked to us in front of the club after >one is blonde, petite physique, 8/10 qt >the other one is smashed and really insist that we talk to her friend and finish her sentence with a wink at me >my friends leaves and I stay with both of them because why not >small talk just to not have a dead silence >they decide to return home >her smashed friend take a different direction >I'm finally alone with her >she finishing the conversation. little silence >Soyboy.exe >can't even have the balls to say "so your place or mine?" even if I had all the green light >doesn't even take her number or anything >say goodbye and just go home like nothing happens Could have f----- a milf but decide the only thing I'll f--- is myself by being a giant cuck. I'm a lost cause anons... : Anonymous put me in the screenshot for reddit 12/18/22(Sun)00:17:50 No.890928898

Pin

Anon Has a Brain Reset | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 73 KB JPG 10/14/21(Thu)22:40:34 No.865002583 >Been jacking off to increasingly weird s--- as of late >piss drinking >prostate orgasms >arm pit licking >femdom c-- eating >randomly get the urge to watch two cute girls in bikinis kissing >blow the biggest load of the last six months Did my brain just do a factory reset?

Pin

Anon has an experience that I relate to on some level but I'm not explaining what | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 114 KB JPG 01/17/20(Fri)12:47:58 No.56308909 >gf admitted she had a foot fetish a few months ago and gets turned on by me worshipping her feet >had always made fun of foot fetishists, it never once turned me on >indulge her at the time because why not, doesn't hurt me >fast forward 2 months >get instant boners when she takes her socks off and puts her feet in my lap now What have I become

Pin

Anon becomes Undefeatable | /r/Greentext

42 KB JPG >be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy

Pin

Anon descovers the wonder of the tampon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)12:45:46 No.863465058 >Be me. Super horny middle school boy >Searching for a--- p---, found some where a girl used a toy on a guy's butthole. He had a massive orgasm >Brightidea.exe. I'll stick something up my butt and j-------. >But what to stick in my butt? >Improvise.exe I got one of my mom's tampons. I figured I could use the string that pull it out >Stick it up there. Fire up some p---. Start jacking off. I guess I clenched my butthole. The tampon shot way up into the dark recesses of my anus. panic.png >Try to find it. Spend a solid 30 minutes with my finger up my ass 130 KB JPG >Figure I'll s--- it out later. I must have shoved it deeper, then the tampon must have expanded. It formed some kind of awful plug. I did not s--- for days >After about 8-9 days the constipation is so bad that I can barely stand up >Parents take me to the emergency. They do an x-ray and see a blockage. The doctor asks what it is. I say that it's a tampon. He asks why I have a tampon up my ass. I explain that I thought it would feel good. >He tries to get it out with me lying on my side, while a nurse is pulling one knee up to my chest. No luck. >He has me get in the face down ass up position, tells me that the lube is making the tampon slippery, and rams three fingers up my ass, while the nurse holds me down. Pulls the tampon out, and I instantly take a massive disgusting s--- that fills an entire bedpan with week old turd. >My parents were in the room the whole time. >The orgasm was average

Pin

Anon descovers the true value of autistic hyperfixation and crustaceans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18 (Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/f-- uncle's house for some s--- >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before 53 KB JPG >he offers to get me some >throw them in a barely cycled tank with some s----- rock >several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on >eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade >the eggs disappear and I once again think I f----- up >a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp >I suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >I spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending >start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out >relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >I see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp >for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake >it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >s--- they're gonna think I'm autistic >they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >I think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.

Pin

Anon makes friends?! | /r/Greentext

when your jokes are desperate cries for help but everybody thinks you're just shitposting chad thread Anonymous (ID: gkos >pats me on the back >we played soul calibur 6 >talked about our problems >we became bros mfw chads are there for me >be me >depressed >3 sleepless days >eating alone >2 basketball chads saw me >herewego.png >i knew this day would come >"hey anon, feelin' down" >that was unexpected >i said yes, and told them that im sad >expecting to get mocked >instead they console me >chad 1:"anon, everyone has their ups and downs, hope you hang in there" >chad 2: "I've been there, real tough s---. we got you anon"

Pin

Anon hit his weigh goal (wholesome) | /r/Greentext

...oo AT&T Board /fit/ - Fitness 50 KB JPG 1:35 PM boards.4chan.org WHAT THE F--- ALRIGHT/FIT/ - THIS IS WHAT WE LIFT FOR >we go buy a nice one >carry it around like a slave >mom is happy >feelsgoodman >i lift it into the house 38% >visit dad >asks me to buy a christmas tree >my dad says hes not feeling well >COLLAPSES ▼ Settings Home >W-- >mom panics >dad just laying there knocked out >we put him in a safe position quickly >my heart is racing >i decide to LIFT him up and carry him to the couch >mom calls 911 >im panicking too >figure that the hospital is not so far away >LIFT him back up and carry him into car >mom is screaming at me but i cant hear s--- >race to hospital >LIFT him out of the car and carry him into ER >scream around like an autist >mfw they told me he had a stroke and probably would have died if it wasnt for my lifts

Pin

Anon's dad is a southerner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't 128 KB JPG understand why Is my dad retarded?

Pin

some things never change | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 12/17/22(Sat) 23:28:47 No.890926614 >haven't used /b/ for months >decided to take a look just for fun >first thread is loli p--- some things really never change

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes