Anon Gets A Shoutout | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri)17:26:48 No.79388858 >>79388164 (OP) >be me >be male >be 47 >be in Columbus >have brown hair >have white Ford Ranger pickup >have cute and funny 13 year old girl in passenger seat >get a free shoutout from the government jelly anons?

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Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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Anon is Serbian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)21:40:02 No.876602853 FA058BB5-A08B-48F6-8E7D-DE8F29702DBD.jpg 50 KB JPG >be me >Serbian >family is pretty racist >hit it off with a Croat girl and start dating her >eventually decide to break it to my dad >He's sitting down reading and I say there's something I want to tell him >I explain to him that I've met someone who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with >"You better not be telling me you're gay anon." >say that I am not gay, and that I've been dating a Croat girl for a few months now >he gives me a harsh look, throws his book at me, & starts yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs >mfw I probably should've just told him I was gay

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Anon is a political analyst | /r/Greentext

File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

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Anon gets a haircut | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/29/18(Tue)12:49:54 No.45755456 YgmcQiK.jpg 46 KB JPG >try to get a Chad haircut >comes out looking like pic related What the f--- am I doing wrong? I went to a proper hair stylist that cost $100. Should I shave it all off?

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Water into Whine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Water saving nozzle accessory 476 KB PNG >See ordinary tap 11/08/24(Fri)07:49:19 No.79385061 >Fill cup (500ml) with water >Government says I wasted water >Install water saving tap >Fill cup (500ml) >Government says I saved water How does this thing work?

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Generational beauty | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/23/24(Wed)03:05:05 No.204764813 Margret Qualleyin the Substance.jpg 164 KB JPG >film about youth vs aging in women >cast a literal 30 year old Millennial hag as the representation of youth Why not a 20 year old Zoomette? Which Zoomette would you have cast? Anonymous >>204764813 (OP) # 10/23/24(Wed) 03:05:57 No.204764831 >Why not a 20 year old Zoomette? they're ugly

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Anon Hated Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes | /r/Greentext

File: 1727339926569636.jpg (185 KB, 1376x1376) Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)07:11:19 No.693919505 >>693919656 >>693919701 >>693920092 >>693922917 >>693923125 >>693923452 >>693923627 >>693925021 >>693925517 >>693927648 >>693930225 >>693930593 >>693932739 >>693932821 >>693933287 >>693933448 >>693934042 >>693939263 >>693939501 >>693941031 >>693941678 >>693941907 >>693943197 >>693944913 >>693946010 >writes her being tortured and having her head shaved >writes her getting r---- by a 13 year old boy >writes her having live surgery performed on her without anesthetic, showing her writhing in agony as her innards are moved around >writes it so there's a second bomb inside of her that detonates anyway rendering the surgery pointless What the f--- was up with Kojima in 2014? Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)08:15:12 No.693923319 >>693943250 >>693924191 >Kojima purposely made her look like underage j------- >Lol jk she's like 30 years old What did he mean by this? Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)08:19:22 No.693923556 Even in Smash Bros., her spirit caused bomb effects. >> Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)09:31:18 No.693927648 ►>>693929549 File: tumblr_pijaupEllk1vtcma00(...).jpg (107 KB, 960x718) POLICE STATION tonight's episode: THE WRITER'S BARELY-DISGUISED FETISH tonights-episode.tumblr.com >>693919505 (OP) Oh you know why Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)11:12:09 No.693933287 >>693936164 >>693919505 (OP) >>693935763 Why didn't Boss arrest her and remand her to his quarters as his prisoner during the events of Peace Walker? And why didn't he impregnate her so that her large pregnant tummy would render her incapable of any further clandestine intelligence work? Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)13:02:48 No.693939263 >>693919505 (OP) He wanted to torture and kill your waifu and he was right to do so.

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Anon realizes depression is cringe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 KB JPG cringe 05/06/21(Thu)20:52:32 No.853820308 >be me ? >have deppression >go to hospital for suicidal thoughts >got meds that never worked >realize deppression is > litteraly just decide to not have it anymore >mfw it f------ worked 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon believes the best kind of woman is the Quiet woman | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous 11/05/24(Tue)22:46:57 No.79358762 >character named Quite >she's literally quiet, doesn't say a word >somehow becomes one of the best female characters of all time What did Kojima mean by this? 36 KB JPG

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OP likes screaming rockers | /r/Greentext

edward vedward.jpg (355 KB, 650x430) google yandex iqdb wait 11/07/24(Thu)22:22:40 No.927101088 [4] [Reply] OOOHIIIDONTWETTERIWUZA BOXER ORA BAG OOOH YEAHERyeaherheeeyHEEEEYYY CANYOUSEEDEM? QUONDAPORCH .. yeah.. BUTDEYDONWAAAVVE! E 11/07/24(Thu)23:03:51 No.927102963 v 10linkin-park2-articleLarge.jpg (38 KB, 600x473) google yandex iqdb wait Đ 11/07/24(Thu)23:06:11 No.927103054 v THE BEST.jpg (43 KB, 169x299) google yandex iqdb wait I'M GONNA GIVE YOU THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST OF YOU >AAHHHH IM SOO SAAAAADDD - ООООННННННН >SO F------ SAAAAAAAAD >SUPER-F-------DUPER SAAAAA AAAAAADDDDDDD E 11/07/24(Thu)23:09:47 No.927103183 v james-hetfield@2000x1500.jpg (195 KB, 2000x1500) google yandex iqdb wait MASTERA MASTERA. MASTERA OF AH PUPPETSAH THATS WHAT I SAAAYYYYYAAAAAHHHAAAAHH WOOAAAAAHA!

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Anon has her purity ring of resistance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

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I’d be his friend | /r/Greentext

how it feels to go out with friends "for coffee" but i'm a hot chocolate fan 110 KB JPG >take digital media class in highschool >it's a computer class so you already know that your gonna get some weird kids >one kid in my class though is something I've never seen before >he has a basic nerdy face and a bit overweight but it's what he wears >he comes into class everyday no exception with one of the rainbow hats with a spinner on top, like in a cartoon >on top of that he has a giant lollipop the size of his his that he carries around everywhere, it's fake but still >literally looks like a kid from a cartoon all he needs is some overalls >apart from that he seems pretty normal so idk >I'll see if he does anything else but I just thought it was funny

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But doctor... he's literally me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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