I’d be his friend | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

how it feels to go out with friends "for coffee" but i'm a hot chocolate fan 110 KB JPG >take digital media class in highschool >it's a computer class so you already know that your gonna get some weird kids >one kid in my class though is something I've never seen before >he has a basic nerdy face and a bit overweight but it's what he wears >he comes into class everyday no exception with one of the rainbow hats with a spinner on top, like in a cartoon >on top of that he has a giant lollipop the size of his his that he carries around everywhere, it's fake but still >literally looks like a kid from a cartoon all he needs is some overalls >apart from that he seems pretty normal so idk >I'll see if he does anything else but I just thought it was funny

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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But doctor... he's literally me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Mr. President Meets Leon | /r/Greentext

screenshot_cropped.png 356 KB PNG >Leon, I have to tell you, nobody fights zombies like you do. But between you and me, have you ever thought about building a wall around Raccoon City? Keep the zombies out. Just an idea. It would be huge.

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Wasted Years | /r/Greentext

IT'S OVER ► Chud 9 days ago Nº20669 [Reply] >>20670 >>20709 >>20764 I genuinely believe it's literally over for me. >did not participate in any clubs during hs >never made any friends because of the high percentage of lg hivaids in my school >didnt take any ap nor college courses to bump up my gpa. >never had a real friendship because of them being Ig hivaids >didnt participate in any senior activity or event >old 'cord messages from 2021 got leaked of me saying i hate ni , f, and tr what the f--- did I do wrong in life? why are so many people part of lg hivaids? is it geniuenly over? sometimes, I miss the old middle school days of me doing stupid s--- like sniffing markers.

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A parent's affection | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon)23:14:13 No.204728812 parents: "our kid's a teenager now. I'm afraid pretty soon he's gonna be having sex, drinking, and going to parties" me at age 20: having-sex-drinking-and-going-to-parties-me-at-age-20-sitting-at-the- computer-alone-doing-nothing.png 967 KB PNG >coming of age teen party movie >teenage characters parents scold them for going to parties, drinking, or sneaking out why is this trope so common? isn't it better for your kid to go out and develop a social life like a normal teenager, rather than be cooped up in his room on his computer all day like an antisocial loser?

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Lmao bottom text | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 00hM916j 11/07/24(Thu)04:01:45 No.487539335 Are you sure? Well, if there is any chance, we should get married. Marriage? Don't be ridiculous Even if I'm pregnant, which I'm very certain I won't be, we are in college, we need to prioritize a career. No children. No marriage. Besides, you have nothing to offer me right now. Once you achieve stability, prospects, and a career, we can talk about marriage and children. What am I to you? Do you really hate me this much? I've been doing everything for you, EVERYTHING for your happiness, and you treat me like this?! Because you don't deserve it. You know what your biggest mistake is? Believing you're entitled to things just because you gave something. What do you think I should give you? What do you think you deserve from me? I never made you any promises, I never told you I would marry you or have children with you. You're getting mad because I won't give you things I never promised you. It's my turn to ask a question now. Why do you want to marry me? I know it's not love. Because if it was love, you would've never mentioned the word marriage or having a child, because you know I want to fulfill my potential and be a successful woman, I promise it to my mother to never depend on a man's money, I have my goals. * 1:18 >best friend's girlfriend throws up during a double date >she freaks out because she thinks she may be pregnant >she immediately leave everything and go back to her apartment alone after big fight with my friend >her roommate won't let him see her >best friend tried to man up and take responsibility >pic related Women love men who makes them single mothers not wives.

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British Excellence | /r/Greentext

File: 1604151006983.jpg (112 KB, 976x976) Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)16:51:00 No.205406944 >>205406996 >>205408470 >infiltrates enemy gathering >misses socials cues >gets noticed by goons and taken back to get his ass whooped >blows up a bunch of s--- and draws everyone's attention while escaping >repeat I'm starting to think he's not a very good spy Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)17:24:34 No.205408074 >>205408364 Why do the bad guys keep inviting him to their shindigs? Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)17:34:37 No.205408364 >>205408074 >Hey, who invited this autistic guy that no one has ever seen before? Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)17:39:11 No.205408470 ►>>205408508 File: 1665793046815810.png (786 KB, 826x813) >>205406944 (OP) >Wears an awful J-- disguise to infiltrate an island >Immediately discovered and gets his fake Japanese wife murdered If it wasn't for the plot armor he'd make a pretty awful spy Anonymous 11/07/24(Thu)17:40:59 No.205408508 >>205408470 And it was still the best movie, that's the crazy part. >>205408547

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Is anon onto something? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CSr7m23Y So if Trump is LITERALLY Hitle(...) 11/07/24(Thu)10:57:18 No.487534810 putin.jpg 83 KB JPG >Hitler said he's make Germany great again and for Germans >Trump said he's make America great again and for Americans >Hitler acted like he was Stalin's friend >Trump acts like he's Putin's friend >Hitler then attacked Russia So Trump is going to send US troops into Ukraine?

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Anon gets a practice girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 106 KB JPG 11/07/24(Thu)06:21:43 No.79373450 >19 y.o KHHV >had enough of this s--- >decide to give 4/10 ex high school creature a chance >text her >1 week later >actually dating >every close move i make to her, i have to remind myself "shes just a practice gf" to calm my disgust >my brain subconsciously blurs her face when i'm hugging, touching her, it tries to protect itself from self-image and ego damage >when we are kissing i can't do it passionately, i just constantly remind myself that i'm just practicing my kissing skills with practice gf >fast forward >shes at my place >sex time (normally, you're supposed to be like "WHOOOOOO F--- YEAH WE ARE DOING IT" in this situation, but i was like "f---, we are doing it") >i'm actually TRYHARDING to get my PENIS ERECT, MY BRAIN WONT F------ SEND BLOOD CELLS TO MY D--- BECAUSE OF HOW UNATTRACTIVE SHE IS >manage to get it %80 hard, couldnt get fully hard, brain just rejected being fully hard for her >normally, i c-- really quick, like 3 mins or something, but when that happened, we BOTH tried to make me c-- FOR 2 HOURS >MY PRIMAL BRAIN IS LITERALLY REJECTING TO CONTINUE IT'S BLOODLINE WITH SUCH CREATURE >manage to c-- (i came on her ass) >i just sit in silence for 30 seconds after jizzing like a pig >"anon, aren't you gonna say something?" >"h-huh? yeah uh, it was good" >that was the end of the whole interaction with my "practice gf", we still dont talk Dont be late to this s--- guys, start f------ in high school like "normal" people.

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A true father figure to the nation | /r/Greentext

Daily Daily Mail US @DailyMail - 1m mail American women denounce men and sex as .com 600 revenge for Trump election win trib.al/MCBOOSJ 3 271 2 ili 140 IMG_9025.jpg 651 KB JPG Sorry, bros. But sex just isn't happening anymore. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article- 14049931/american-women-boycott-sex-men-revenge- election-trump-kamala-harris.html Anonymous (ID: Pil/kYhY) 11/07/24(Thu)07:39:34 No.487437451 >>487437006 (OP) # >Trump not even in office yet >Gets women to stop being w----- voluntarily. 15 KB PNG >>487445048 # >>487445214 # >>487452134 # >>487457290 # >>487461260 # >>487464974 # >>487465414 # >>487467206 # >>487469969 # >>487470460 # >>487470855 # >>487473285 # 197175206 # 197176206 # 1971776 11 # 197101015 #

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Anon helps his bro to the finish line | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: /rAaV6k0 11/06/24(Wed)04:45:51 No.487248936 TRUM 2024 basedjoe.png 1.13 MB PNG >One last waltz. >This is for you, Donnie. Perhaps we were too rough with Scranton Joe.

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Anon reflects on lessons from 2016 | /r/Greentext

File: nani.png (1.73 MB, 903x899) Anonymous 11/06/24(Wed)10:59:22 No. 11151600 >>272794445 >>272794710 >>272794790 >>272795433 >>272795635 >>272796031 >>272796945 >>272797105 >>272799087 >>272800577 >>272802786 >>272806150 >>272806351 >>272807410 >>272807653 >>272820962 >>272824544 >>272824674 >>272825649 >>272830279 >>272840893 >>272842201 >>272842223 >>272842702 >>272847553 >>272847897 >>272847921 >>272854091 >>272856214 >>272857765 >>272863992 >>272864628 >>272865126 >White Hillary Loses to Trump >Brown Hillary Loses Even Harder >Democratics

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Anon studies the art of war | /r/Greentext

ile: 1000000131.jpg (9 KB, 210x240) Anonymous 11/06/24(Wed)01:15:23 No.62825480 >Be ancient Chinese general >>62825576 >>62825708 >>62825716 >>62826696 >>62826726 >>62826971 >>62827105 >>62827621 >>62828340 >Other generals are mostly lords who've never held a weapon or have any idea of how reality works >These retards constantly get men killed for no reason and waste resources >Write a book, call it the art of war >Put in tips that should be obvious to anyone, based on s--- I see these dumbasses do >I have to not only dumb down this s---, but also make it flowery so the nobility like it >See some retards dragging out a war, for whatever reason >write "There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare" >See nobles abuse their soldiers, then get genuinely surprised when they have an uprising and try to kill them >write "Treat your men as you would your own beloved sons. And they will follow you into the deepest valley." >See some general insist on attacking a heavily fortified position, and get surprised when he loses when he could have taken a flank and won >Write "So in war, the way is to avoid what is strong, and strike at what is weak." >Someone decides to go to war because he's in a s----- mood, and he utterly f---- himself and everything he owns in the process >Write "who wishes to fight must first count the cost" >Some guy didn't pay his men after a hard battle, and it hurts morale >write down "Rewards for good service should not be deferred a single day." >Nobles are shocked that the horses carrying supplies are moving slower because they're starving >The nobles didn't account for the horses needing more food because they're going farther than usual >F------ hell..... >I write "if horses are fed at the proper intervals, chariots will be swift" >Nobles are surprised that their men are being picked off by archers and cannons at the top of hills >for f---- sake >Write "Do NOT f--- with the high ground" Sun tzu was basically a tard wrangler, who got sick of telling dumbasses how to not lose wars, so he just wrote a book.

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