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Anonymous 400 KB JPG 09/28/24(Sat)21:50:05 No.78959914 >Get home from work yesterday >Do all my s--- that needs to be done (cleaning, washing, cooking), try to go to sleep >All of a sudden the house across starts blaring music >See a ton of cars lining the street >Go to their house and knock on their doors, couple of zoomers answer and ask them if they could turn down the music a bit >They laugh and say sure >Get back to my house, music is blaring even louder now >Get an idea >Call the cops and report that there's underage drinking/smoking weed at a party on [X] Street >10 minutes later the cops come >After a few minutes music stops, start hearing screaming and yelling >Hear the mother of all screams, like swine being led to the slaughter >Look outside the window, see the zoomers being shoved into the cop cars >All the cars leave eventually >Go to sleep with peace in my mind I thank the Police Force of my country for being so reliant and effective at their jobs. F--- zoomers, wiggers, and n------.

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Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/08/21(Tue)19:51:50 No.146433504 >have a coworker who is Dutch >we both need to go to the same project the next day >offer to drive and say I will pick him up >he says thanks and gives me his adress >the next day I drive over to his home >he isn't fully ready to leave yet but offers me to wait inside >he asks if I want a coffee >say sure because I didn't have my morning coffee yet >his wife makes me a coffee while he finishes getting ready >drive him to the project and drop him back of at his home in the evening >he says "thank you so much for driving anon!" >get home myself >hear a notification comming in on my phone >it is a 'tikkie' for 0.50 EUR from my Dutch colleague for the morning coffee I had at his place

Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:29:29 No.146551057 1713812614849717.png 1.49 MB PNG ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:34:28 No.146555487 I was waiting at the bus stop and next thing I know Im at Batmans feet with a broken collar bone and three weeks missing. Turns out Mad Hatter put one of stupid hats on me when my back was turned. Work says theyve already filled my position and theres nothing they can do I hate this city I hate this city Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:36:40 No.146555501 I was blowing a dude in crime alley but his c--- tasted funny. Kinda... earthy? I looked up and it was Clayface. Called me a f-- and ran away laughing. 69 KB JPG

Oh my GOD just talk to actual women, we're all horny and unhappy too you're not special you f------ weirdos New York Post @nypost- Apr 15 Tech exec predicts 'Al girlfriends' will create $1B business: 'Comfort at the end of the day' trib.al/XORAIML : Anonymous (ID: P3y3PZCt >talk to women ew weirdo >dont talk to women ew weirdo 11/16/24(Sat)11:35:50 No.488637069

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Anon dates a blind girl | /r/Greentext

7 KB JPG >Dating a blind girl >All of her friends are blind >Love that she holds my arm when we're out >Love that she eventually got used to my apartment and can now navigate around by herself >Love that her guide dog is super friendly and is always on the job to help her. >Love that her family sees me as a great person because her being blind doesn't bother me >Love that she doesn't use the internet because it's too much hassle >Love that she requests I read new books for her in my voice and record them so she has her own boyfriend audiobook library.

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Anon pretending to be a twitch streamer

Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat) 12:56:10 No.523321711 850 KB PNG >play a video game >pretend like I'm a twitch streamer and explain what I'm doing to an imaginary audience Is this normal?

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/his/ disputes the white lie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 39 KB JPG 09/29/24(Sun)09:10:38 No. 17123154 >>17122321 (OP) # >"kekekekeke noi lore is a meme" >random new type of white people magically appears out of central asia and come with 99k stacks to conquer europe (which they never seen) every 300 years >man name yakub with conspicuous head covering and african features later found in uzbekistan Hmmm. dont think it that funny huh?

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Anon is watching Ratatouille 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 ss.jpg 60 KB JPG >the rats have unionized

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Oh well, they had a good run | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/07/23 (Tue) 09:44:37 No.656702901 >COD dead >Battlefield dead >Halo dead >Destiny dead >All within the span of a less than five years

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Anon can't lose weight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous STILL FAT AND RETARDED chubby uwu Chonk boyfriend giant pillow cute Thank you for accepting me anon ells you i love you 2345676 times c----- fat WEEB 09/28/24(Sat) 13:53:44 No.78954823 >be me HUGSS >be 18 turning 19 "gets jealous when you talk to other guys >still a fat retard Giant baby >has tried the gym multiple 106 KB JPG low self esteem i will pprotec you eats alot times, and tried eating healthy >lost inspiration nearly instantly >find a girl who is into fatter guys >lets her encourage me to stay >sees healthy skinny normal couples while out in the world >resent self and fat loving girlfriend >debates killing either self, or her What should I do guys? : Anonymous 09/28/24(Sat) 13:54:35 No.78954829 >>78954823 (OP) # some women like fat men? damn >>78954848 # >>78954853 # >>78954868 #

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Anon risks upsetting those who are proud to wear dungarees | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 888 1.56 MB GIF 09/28/24(Sat) 19:50:51 No.279343 >be lezzo >"I like girls! I like girls! Look at me, I like girls!" >use fake d---

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Anon doesn't understand american parents | /r/Greentext

File: Don't get it.gif (81 KB, 640x640) When people choose Hollywood as their moral guidance? Anonymous 09/28/24(Sat) 14:28:03 No.203949539 >Hollywood was always full of degenerates and criminals >parents and society as a whole, even in 2024, still expecting Hollywood to teach good morals to their kids >there are out there millions of adults with a morality based on Hollywood teachings, unironically

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Lost in communication | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/18/24(Wed) 09:40:01 No.203645605 I'm different from everybody else. different.png 927 KB PNG >tries to connect with people and tell them there's something wrong with him >"you just need to get laid" >"just find a girl" >this after everyone telling him he's a literal worthless good for nothing nobody >"why can't you just find a good girl" Normalfags are the true scum of the Earth desu. That's the answer to everything. Even when one wants help, they just expect you to be the perfect goy right off the gate. Dahmer was obviously f----- up no matter what, but even when he tried to come clean, nobody even cared. The moment you're marked as the "weirdo" you're f----- for life.

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Anon may know a bit too much | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 130 KB JPG 01/30/22(Sun)21:12:11 No.871689869 >YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw 15 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Anon discovers fibre | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ytho 211 KB JPG 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 >be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster >apparently things with loads of fiber is going to save my filthy soul >"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" >go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars >the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks >i dont s--- that day >next day i fiber myself up even more >i dont s--- that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon >can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore >i dont s--- the third day >i dont s--- the fourth day >thefinaldaydawns.mp3 >i have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way >the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me >it's whistling >just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss >suddenly stops >the hole is plugged >SOS >this s--- is so solid it feels like i'm giving a--- birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray >the rock is shot out of my a------ at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins >a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting s--- bullets out of me >solid and prefectly round nuggets >the smell is killing me >blacking out >the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks >iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg >my guts are yelling in german >sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly >most of the s--- isn't even digested at this point >just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat >after an hour it finally seems to be over >im shivering and crying >both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet >gondorcallsforaid.rar >shakily wipe my ass >completely clean

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Licence to Confuse | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous GET OUT OF MY WAY 122 KB PNG and speeding up >finally pass ▼Settings Mobile Home 09/27/24(Fri)15:47:24 No.78946013 >Driving the speed limit >NPC in front of me is driving 10mph under >try to get around - can't >start tail gating just a little bit to let them know I want to go faster. I want to go the speed limit ffs >finally see an opening >NPC speeds up to 10mph over the speed limit so I cant pass >Now I look like a spazoid on the road swerving >NPC starts flashing high beams at me Why do so many of these people exist? Every single day with this s---. If you drive exactly the speed limit or under you shouldn't be allowed to drive. It worries me that you're so much of a p----. Are you afraid of the dark too? Does baby need his baba before beddy time? I should legally be able to pit maneuver you. Same thing with people who drive their tractors on the road, you're making me hate farmers. Why should I support farmers when they do nothing but piss me off. Mod your f------ tractor so it can match the speed limit of a normal road, why the f--- are you driving at walking speed down an arterial road you f------ pea brain inbred donkey f-----. f--- im so f------ mad right now. I hate NPCs

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Greentext Stories - Anon talked politely but carried a big stick | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 400 KB JPG 09/28/24(Sat)21:50:05 No.78959914 >Get home from work yesterday >Do all my s--- that needs to be done (cleaning, washing, cooking), try to go to sleep >All of a sudden the house across starts blaring music >See a ton of cars lining the street >Go to their house and knock on their doors, couple of zoomers answer and ask them if they could turn down the music a bit >They laugh and say sure >Get back to my house, music is blaring even louder now >Get an idea >Call the cops and report that there's underage drinking/smoking weed at a party on [X] Street >10 minutes later the cops come >After a few minutes music stops, start hearing screaming and yelling >Hear the mother of all screams, like swine being led to the slaughter >Look outside the window, see the zoomers being shoved into the cop cars >All the cars leave eventually >Go to sleep with peace in my mind I thank the Police Force of my country for being so reliant and effective at their jobs. F--- zoomers, wiggers, and n------.

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