Anon doesn't understand american parents | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: Don't get it.gif (81 KB, 640x640) When people choose Hollywood as their moral guidance? Anonymous 09/28/24(Sat) 14:28:03 No.203949539 >Hollywood was always full of degenerates and criminals >parents and society as a whole, even in 2024, still expecting Hollywood to teach good morals to their kids >there are out there millions of adults with a morality based on Hollywood teachings, unironically

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Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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Lost in communication | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/18/24(Wed) 09:40:01 No.203645605 I'm different from everybody else. different.png 927 KB PNG >tries to connect with people and tell them there's something wrong with him >"you just need to get laid" >"just find a girl" >this after everyone telling him he's a literal worthless good for nothing nobody >"why can't you just find a good girl" Normalfags are the true scum of the Earth desu. That's the answer to everything. Even when one wants help, they just expect you to be the perfect goy right off the gate. Dahmer was obviously f----- up no matter what, but even when he tried to come clean, nobody even cared. The moment you're marked as the "weirdo" you're f----- for life.

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Anon may know a bit too much | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 130 KB JPG 01/30/22(Sun)21:12:11 No.871689869 >YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw 15 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Anon discovers fibre | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ytho 211 KB JPG 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 >be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster >apparently things with loads of fiber is going to save my filthy soul >"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" >go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars >the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks >i dont s--- that day >next day i fiber myself up even more >i dont s--- that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon >can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore >i dont s--- the third day >i dont s--- the fourth day >thefinaldaydawns.mp3 >i have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way >the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me >it's whistling >just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss >suddenly stops >the hole is plugged >SOS >this s--- is so solid it feels like i'm giving a--- birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray >the rock is shot out of my a------ at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins >a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting s--- bullets out of me >solid and prefectly round nuggets >the smell is killing me >blacking out >the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks >iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg >my guts are yelling in german >sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly >most of the s--- isn't even digested at this point >just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat >after an hour it finally seems to be over >im shivering and crying >both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet >gondorcallsforaid.rar >shakily wipe my ass >completely clean

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Licence to Confuse | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous GET OUT OF MY WAY 122 KB PNG and speeding up >finally pass ▼Settings Mobile Home 09/27/24(Fri)15:47:24 No.78946013 >Driving the speed limit >NPC in front of me is driving 10mph under >try to get around - can't >start tail gating just a little bit to let them know I want to go faster. I want to go the speed limit ffs >finally see an opening >NPC speeds up to 10mph over the speed limit so I cant pass >Now I look like a spazoid on the road swerving >NPC starts flashing high beams at me Why do so many of these people exist? Every single day with this s---. If you drive exactly the speed limit or under you shouldn't be allowed to drive. It worries me that you're so much of a p----. Are you afraid of the dark too? Does baby need his baba before beddy time? I should legally be able to pit maneuver you. Same thing with people who drive their tractors on the road, you're making me hate farmers. Why should I support farmers when they do nothing but piss me off. Mod your f------ tractor so it can match the speed limit of a normal road, why the f--- are you driving at walking speed down an arterial road you f------ pea brain inbred donkey f-----. f--- im so f------ mad right now. I hate NPCs

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Anon's Musk | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 09/28/24(Sat)04:29:14 No.78951229 >every time i scratch my junk i smell my hand afterward what does it mean? 132 KB JPG Anonymous 09/28/24(Sat)04:31:14 No.78951238 nothing wrong with a little musk check now and then

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The genie light | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)19:00:06 No.2543988 >genie light comes on >wish for infinite wishes >engine explodes file.png 75 KB PNG shouldnt have tried to fool him >>25439915 # >>25441515 # >>25444652 # >>25447053 # >>25455269 #

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Lost Resort | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 09/28/24(Sat)05:51:56 No.78951626 >Called "Rhode Island" >Clearly not an Island Are they retarded? 138 KB PNG

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We need to go back to being judgemental | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/26/24(Thu)22:29:41 No.690121947 VIL 1726806464649645.jpg 181 KB JPG >i----- is now mainstream thing what happened?

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Anon is definitely a sperg | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 124 my argument you me 119 KB JPG probably a sperg 09/27/24(Fri)23:03:39 No.78946710 >get in trouble for drawing guns in school >forced to be evaluated by school counselor >tell her i just like guns and drawing >she's convinced it's a coping mechanism >she tells my parents i'm >fastforward 10 years >can't hold down a job, always get fired after a few months >decide to live in a car for fun >do crimes for money, get caught after a few years >dad is convinced it's because of assburgers, tells my whole family >everyone thinks i'm a retard now >go to the psychologist >makes me take a personality test >answer 4 questions in an hour >turns out it's a 50 question test that takes 15 min. >next time i come in, she does a mini intelligence test >after i finish, she tells me i got almost everything right, most people never even finish because of the time limit >i didn't even know there was a time limit in the first place >she says i'm not autistic, i'm literally too smart for others to understand >now i have to get an IQ test such is the life of an IQcel like me.

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Anon plays cricket | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 714912237 >be me >6'2" white dude >phone bill is due >use Cricket >used a fake name for the account because they don't check ID >don't remember what it is >go to Cricket store >black dude working >give him my number >he looks up my name with my phone number >"Tyrone Watermelon" >ohfuck.jpg >he looks shocked >looks up at me >"your name is Tyrone Watermelon?" >straight face >"Yes." >"really?" >"Yeah." >pay my bill >all he can say is "...have a nice day" >leave >mfw

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Considering some of the phases I went through, this isn't too bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)18:26:22 No.47414971 1524085735334.jpg 122 KB JPG >tfw had a general grievous phase when i was younger >would wrap a blanket around my shoulders like a cape while walking around hunched over coughing and doing the voice i-i wasn't the only one right?

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Having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card | /r/Greentext

File: Bookshelf_JE4_BE2.png (5 KB, 300x300) ☐ Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)20:41:46 No.526745842 >>526746342 >>526747310 >>5 >small shelf of books takes longer to make than a portal to another dimension >> Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)20:44:31 No.526746141 >>526746301 >>526746545 Its because books are portals to the dimension of imagination. Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)20:46:07 No.526746301 >>526746141 f--- off librarian >>526746545

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