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Anonymous 888 1.56 MB GIF 09/28/24(Sat) 19:50:51 No.279343 >be lezzo >"I like girls! I like girls! Look at me, I like girls!" >use fake d---

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Anonymous 145 KB JPG meat than usual 04/29/22(Fri)17:32:59 No.877174970 >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,,and,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people

Anonymous 12/29/24(Sun)08:06:16 No.698643963 >video game reviewer starts talking about his childhood

>>202596752 (OP) This is becoming a problem, at first it was a few isolated cases but now it's an epidemic. Why aren't politicians and law enforcement doing anything about this? Serious answer: the whole appeal is self-inserting as the shota and being treated as a desirable object of affection by attractive women. Childhood is the last time women unconditionally love you, dote on you and allow you to be weak. After that you might as well be dead to them and you're expected to "earn" their attention. Basically you're there to impress her, but women don't feel the need to impress you. Projecting back to childhood but with awareness of your own (and their) sexuality makes for an appealing fantasy.

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Anon doesn't understand american parents | /r/Greentext

File: Don't get it.gif (81 KB, 640x640) When people choose Hollywood as their moral guidance? Anonymous 09/28/24(Sat) 14:28:03 No.203949539 >Hollywood was always full of degenerates and criminals >parents and society as a whole, even in 2024, still expecting Hollywood to teach good morals to their kids >there are out there millions of adults with a morality based on Hollywood teachings, unironically

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Lost in communication | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/18/24(Wed) 09:40:01 No.203645605 I'm different from everybody else. different.png 927 KB PNG >tries to connect with people and tell them there's something wrong with him >"you just need to get laid" >"just find a girl" >this after everyone telling him he's a literal worthless good for nothing nobody >"why can't you just find a good girl" Normalfags are the true scum of the Earth desu. That's the answer to everything. Even when one wants help, they just expect you to be the perfect goy right off the gate. Dahmer was obviously f----- up no matter what, but even when he tried to come clean, nobody even cared. The moment you're marked as the "weirdo" you're f----- for life.

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Anon may know a bit too much | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 130 KB JPG 01/30/22(Sun)21:12:11 No.871689869 >YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw 15 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Anon discovers fibre | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ytho 211 KB JPG 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 >be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster >apparently things with loads of fiber is going to save my filthy soul >"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" >go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars >the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks >i dont s--- that day >next day i fiber myself up even more >i dont s--- that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon >can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore >i dont s--- the third day >i dont s--- the fourth day >thefinaldaydawns.mp3 >i have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way >the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me >it's whistling >just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss >suddenly stops >the hole is plugged >SOS >this s--- is so solid it feels like i'm giving a--- birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray >the rock is shot out of my a------ at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins >a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting s--- bullets out of me >solid and prefectly round nuggets >the smell is killing me >blacking out >the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks >iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg >my guts are yelling in german >sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly >most of the s--- isn't even digested at this point >just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat >after an hour it finally seems to be over >im shivering and crying >both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet >gondorcallsforaid.rar >shakily wipe my ass >completely clean

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Licence to Confuse | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous GET OUT OF MY WAY 122 KB PNG and speeding up >finally pass ▼Settings Mobile Home 09/27/24(Fri)15:47:24 No.78946013 >Driving the speed limit >NPC in front of me is driving 10mph under >try to get around - can't >start tail gating just a little bit to let them know I want to go faster. I want to go the speed limit ffs >finally see an opening >NPC speeds up to 10mph over the speed limit so I cant pass >Now I look like a spazoid on the road swerving >NPC starts flashing high beams at me Why do so many of these people exist? Every single day with this s---. If you drive exactly the speed limit or under you shouldn't be allowed to drive. It worries me that you're so much of a p----. Are you afraid of the dark too? Does baby need his baba before beddy time? I should legally be able to pit maneuver you. Same thing with people who drive their tractors on the road, you're making me hate farmers. Why should I support farmers when they do nothing but piss me off. Mod your f------ tractor so it can match the speed limit of a normal road, why the f--- are you driving at walking speed down an arterial road you f------ pea brain inbred donkey f-----. f--- im so f------ mad right now. I hate NPCs

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Anon's Musk | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 09/28/24(Sat)04:29:14 No.78951229 >every time i scratch my junk i smell my hand afterward what does it mean? 132 KB JPG Anonymous 09/28/24(Sat)04:31:14 No.78951238 nothing wrong with a little musk check now and then

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The genie light | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)19:00:06 No.2543988 >genie light comes on >wish for infinite wishes >engine explodes file.png 75 KB PNG shouldnt have tried to fool him >>25439915 # >>25441515 # >>25444652 # >>25447053 # >>25455269 #

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Lost Resort | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 09/28/24(Sat)05:51:56 No.78951626 >Called "Rhode Island" >Clearly not an Island Are they retarded? 138 KB PNG

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We need to go back to being judgemental | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/26/24(Thu)22:29:41 No.690121947 VIL 1726806464649645.jpg 181 KB JPG >i----- is now mainstream thing what happened?

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Anon is definitely a sperg | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 124 my argument you me 119 KB JPG probably a sperg 09/27/24(Fri)23:03:39 No.78946710 >get in trouble for drawing guns in school >forced to be evaluated by school counselor >tell her i just like guns and drawing >she's convinced it's a coping mechanism >she tells my parents i'm >fastforward 10 years >can't hold down a job, always get fired after a few months >decide to live in a car for fun >do crimes for money, get caught after a few years >dad is convinced it's because of assburgers, tells my whole family >everyone thinks i'm a retard now >go to the psychologist >makes me take a personality test >answer 4 questions in an hour >turns out it's a 50 question test that takes 15 min. >next time i come in, she does a mini intelligence test >after i finish, she tells me i got almost everything right, most people never even finish because of the time limit >i didn't even know there was a time limit in the first place >she says i'm not autistic, i'm literally too smart for others to understand >now i have to get an IQ test such is the life of an IQcel like me.

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Anon plays cricket | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 714912237 >be me >6'2" white dude >phone bill is due >use Cricket >used a fake name for the account because they don't check ID >don't remember what it is >go to Cricket store >black dude working >give him my number >he looks up my name with my phone number >"Tyrone Watermelon" >ohfuck.jpg >he looks shocked >looks up at me >"your name is Tyrone Watermelon?" >straight face >"Yes." >"really?" >"Yeah." >pay my bill >all he can say is "...have a nice day" >leave >mfw

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Considering some of the phases I went through, this isn't too bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)18:26:22 No.47414971 1524085735334.jpg 122 KB JPG >tfw had a general grievous phase when i was younger >would wrap a blanket around my shoulders like a cape while walking around hunched over coughing and doing the voice i-i wasn't the only one right?

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Greentext Stories - Anon risks upsetting those who are proud to wear dungarees | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 888 1.56 MB GIF 09/28/24(Sat) 19:50:51 No.279343 >be lezzo >"I like girls! I like girls! Look at me, I like girls!" >use fake d---

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