Anon is a bandwagoner | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous (ID: NG/qJDUa It's over 72 KB JPG 09/04/24(Wed)01:06:19 No.480563943 >Be me, poorfag >Living paycheck to paycheck struggling with multiple bills >Hear about the Chase bank glitch from TikTok >Decide "f--- it" and try it out >Write myself a check for $38,000 >Insert the check into the ATM >Money actually goes through holy f--- >Immediately start spending it >Pay my rent and car note, spend the rest on games and PCs and food >Think I got away with it >Woke up late at night hungover on Hennessey >Check my account >Everything is gone, in the negative for all the money I took >Money I deposited legitimately is gone too >How the f--- is that legal >Left with absolutely nothing, can't even feed myself or get paid anymore >Bank won't let me close my account, they're sending threatening emails >Have no choice but to declare bankruptcy >tfw may be arrested tomorrow It's over. F------ over. If they try and arrest me I'm going on the run and fleeing to Canada. I need a new identity at this point.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon has visions of an alternate timeline | /r/Greentext

>>62429824 +62431165 >>62433006 File: howtheinvasiontables.jpg (324 KB, 1080x717) >>62429483 >Day 922 of American Special Operation to denazify the Quebecois Canucks seeking to kill the ethnic Vermonters >501st Airborne surrounded and killed by CAF reservists after dropping unsupported onto Kanata, Ontario >Maple Leafs fanclub becomes a militia and holds St. Catherines for months >US loses 20 000 troops in a 6 month battle for Leamington, Ontario >the entire male pro-american population in the 51st and 52nd states of Alberta and Saskatchewan is extinct after being sent into battle with Springfield rifles and steel M1 helmets - US government sends Mexicans and blacks to repopulate them >US retreats from Winnipeg after officially annexing Manitoba, demands Manitoba in peace deal despite only holding a patch of blown-out prairie somewhere south of Brandon >d-day landing at Halifax cancelled due to threat of naval drones launched from Yarmouth >michigan and upstate new york regularly bombed by US assets >you forgot the part where Travis Haley marched his private army from Detroit to DC city limits only to turn around because of a terse phonecall from the prime minister of Japan. >american rebels based in New Brunswick conduct regular raids into Maine >pro-american discord groups seethe endlessly over Adrien Arcand, for some f------ reason >canadian anglophones, even as far as British Columbia, start speaking French instead of English >JTF2 actively hunts US servicemen in Germany >The leaf army advances 15 miles into US territory towards Augusta, capturing several small towns and taking dozens of National Guard troops prisoner.

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Anon was a janitor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 242 KB GIF 09/02/24(Tue)21:03:17 No.68493582 It's over bros. >Be me >49 at the time >Work at high school >NEET Janitor >See qt 3.14 girl while cleaning out shitstained toilet from one of the failed abortions at the school >IDEA.JFIF >Decide to "reveal myself" to her next time I happen to be cleaning the s-------. >Day of the reveal.mp4 >Show her my imitation pogo stick >She immediately screams bloody murder and runs in the hallways screaming for the principal. I lost my f------ job over this bros. What the f--- did I do wrong? All of you NEETS said I needed to assert my masculine dominance? What's more masculine than my literal penis? Even worse this bitch is getting a lawyer and suing. F------/b/tards. 7 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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Male self insert dilemma | /r/Greentext

09/03/24(Tue)10:00:07 No.270631001 Anonymous Female self-insert Male self-insert anime self-inserts.png 880 KB PNG Why do men not want to self-insert as attractive, high-value males?

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Anon Talks About Spiral | /r/Greentext

File: MV5BOGU1ODAwZTItYzg2Ny00N(...).jpg (1.12 MB, 1944x2880) SPIRA 1100 ☐ Anonymous 09/03/24(Tue)19:52:06 No.203189412 ► >Be me >Find some guy who's entire channel is Saw videos >Click on his review of Spiral >Says the film's anti- cop message is "Needed and relevant IMAX after the death of George Floyd" but "Doesn't go hard enough against the police force". Every victim is a cop. The bad guy is a cop. Pretty much the only good cop in the movie is Chris Rock's character who gets framed for the killings in the end. What would the movie have to do to be anti-cop enough for this dumbass?

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Dive Right Out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/24(Tue)18:40:37 No.78696183 wifi 134 KB PNG >Takes forever to load >Server error message shows even when its working fine >Error message often times when writing a comment >Posts are removed by moderators with no explanation >Entire website is down 3 times a day >Cant upload large images unless connected to >Just overall incredibly buggy How in gods name do they expect me to "Dive into anything"? Anonymous [removed by moderator] 09/03/24(Tue)18:42:32 No.78696208

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Anon makes fun of a YouTuber | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Excentra 09/03/24(Tue)14:40:57 No.923878918 Tub THE ONLY BIT YOU'LL EVER W DEEP There Are No More Bands fantano 1.8K Comments 0:46 >rock music is le dead!! fantano.jpg 1.89 MB JPG CC Episode Anonymous >>923878918 (OP) # 09/03/24(Tue)14:41:29 No.923878942 when I'm going band for band with bro and I've already pulled out two dollars

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Anons best friend loves she/her | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 252 KB JPG Anonymous >>37143225 (OP) # 09/03/24(Tue)14:41:07 No.37143225 >trans girl >best friend is gay >he said he thinks im hot >ask him if he's bi >he said nope >tfw thanks... 09/03/24(Tue)14:45:23 No.37143267 so... you pass right? Anonymous 09/03/24(Tue)14:48:43 No.37143295 >>37143225 (OP) # hot in a "i think you look hot objectively for a woman" or " id like tk f--- you" way? >>37143346 # ⠀ Anonymous >>37143295 # 09/03/24(Tue)14:52:52 No.37143346 It's a gay guy, he only knows the latter one Anonymous >>37143225 (OP) # 09/03/24(Tue)14:54:53 No.37143371 Gay men are icky and gross, normalize homophobia only against men >>37143571 # >>37143885 # Anonymous >>37143371 # 09/03/24(Tue)15:12:55 No.37143571 That includes you tranner

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Euroanons move the peak goal post | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: x7p5jttq) == 09/03/24(Tue)14:48:30 No.21144410 depositphotos >men peak in their 30s >i still have time 198 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: ifQEI2Y+ >>21144410 (OP) # 09/03/24(Tue)14:56:37 No.21144571 >40s-50s are a man's peak years or something Anonymous (ID: fjbIM+13) 09/03/24(Tue)14:58:06 No.21144578 she doesnt look like that doe she's bald !!1YAY5wWCE7S (ID: +Q8XaoD+ 09/03/24(Tue)14:58:59 No.21144587 I mean there's never really a bad time to improve yourself giving up because you're not in your prime is pathetic loser mentality >>21144700 # >>21144776 # Anonymous (ID: x7p5jttq) == 09/03/24(Tue)15:21:31 No.21144700 >>21144587 # >there's never a bad time to cope

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Anon suffers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/24(Tue)15:07:12 No.37143513 >trans gf is having an autistic meltdown and sharting all over the apartment walls again 39 KB JPG Anonymous >>37143513 (OP) # 09/03/24(Tue)15:10:20 No.37143551 give her her f------ legos Anonymous 15 KB PNG 09/03/24(Tue)15:14:17 No.37143587 >>37143513 (OP) # >collect enough pretty princess points from my bf for my good behaviour >demand he buy me the the lego boutique hotel set >he says we'll go out and buy it at the weekend >REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >scream at the top of my lungs >start s------- and pissing everywhere >throw the piss covered s--- at my bf >afterwards he takes me to the lego store >>37143612 # >>37143620 # Anonymous >>37143587 # 09/03/24(Tue)15:16:24 No.37143612 this is the true meaning of girlbossing

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Effort Wasted | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Stupid story time ▼Settings Mobile Home 09/03/24(Tue)16:20:34 No.78694978 235 KB JPG So, Found my temporary image folder lol. >Be me in school >In English literature class >Studying A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens. >It was also Christmas so the teacher wanted to play a the movie for us. >Nobody wanted to watch the muppets version, but nobody had the 2009 version on dvd >Except for me (I really didn't tee hee) >I told them that I will bring a copy on a media disc tomorrow >FFW to home >On my PC, I have Vegas pro (for ytps) and IMGburn for pirating Xbox games Obviously, I wasn't going to make a whole YTP of the movie so I figured ill add some hidden edits throughout the first 45 minutes in hopes that it would mindfuck someone who did notice them. >Enter Picrel (01/12/2019), where I super imposed putins face of the ghost of christmas past for two seconds. I distinctly remember nobody in class noticing it. So here you go.

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Anon wants a new phone company to magically appear | /r/Greentext

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A billion dollar story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: JRAVDBDV Durov arrest 08/27/24(Tue)10:41:26 No.479722417 Screenshot_358.jpg 257 KB JPG >create russian facebook and become a millionaire >sell it and leave Russia because authorities demand cooperation on criminal cases >become "citizen of the world" living in Dubai and having several citizenships including french >create Telegram - one of the most unique and neutral- "safe" way of communicating on the web >get arrested on b------- accusations because he didn't want to bend to glowies >no amount of support or money can save him now What does this story teach us?

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