anon risks prison | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

☐ reminder: don't DJ at children's birthday parties anymore Anonymous >be me >depressed + stressed + rage issues >work as a DJ >stranger calls me to play at a birthday party >k >starts playing >MFW kid takes a water glass and smash it over my console >KickTheBaby.mp4 >mother rages >risk prison

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon rides the elevator | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_0529.jpg (15 KB, 241x209) Anonymous (ID: 3k0w5ARN >get into busy elevator 06/03/24(Mon)16:56:36 No.20445755 >lock eyes uncomfortably with female >let out extremely loud 20+ second fart without saying a word

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The views keep dropping. Look how they massacred my boy... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous What's their endgame? 05/27/24(Mon)21:23:25 No. 199558249 Metro @MetroUK Sorry straight white men, Doctor Who was never made for you POLICE TELEPHONE FREE FOR USE OF PUBLIC ADVICE & ASSISTANCE OBTAINABLE IMMEDIATELY OFFICERS & CARS RESPOND TO URGENT CALLS TO OPEN 6U.jpg 135 KB JPG >"We made the Doctor a women! Seethe more chud!" Views drop significantly. >New season starts. >"The Doctor is now black and gay!" Views drop by half >3 episodes into the new season. >"The main villain is now some fat troon! If you dont like it, go touch grass!" Views drop by half again. Whats their end goal?

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Anon despises titanic | /r/Greentext

File: 166576755675229.png (653 KB, 595x397) Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)13:00:36 No. 183156617 183156699>>183156712 >>183156761 >>183157033 >>183157337 >>183157435 >>183157517 >>183157660 days >>183157936 >>183158636 >>183158983 >>183159081 >>183159161 >>183159686 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her on a boat trip for 2 >millions of women consider this a great love story Why are women like this?

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Awesome Dad. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804906840 158.5 kB PNG positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck >go home tell dad 9 min. ago .. >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck

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None Cares to Check If This is True for 2000 Years | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)10:06:59 No.1505215 >"heavy objects fall faster than light ones" >none cares to check if this is true for 2000 years 34 KB JPG

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Happens to the best of us, anon. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous what is wrong with zoomers 12/24/23(Sun)07:37:58 No.75871286 >Be me straight male 65 KB JPG >a twink in lingerie is riding me

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anon drinks redbull | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 26 KB PNG >S--- tastes good 06/03/24(Mon)08:34:14 No.77706687 >Be me >Practicaly never drink coffee, even then dilute it to the extreme with milk because I f------ hate the taste >Be yesterday, late afternoon >Friend gets me a blueberry red bull "Eh, coffee just helps me stay awake for a couple hours when I do use it, how bad can it be" >Drink another one without thinking >Ffw 2AM >Can't sleep >Start looking for things to do 6 hours later, and I have cleaned up my whole house, been to the gym, repaired a burst pipe, changed two lightbulbs, sent a letter that had been waiting for 3 months, bought a bicycle, patched the holes in two pairs of pants and then some more What the actual f--- do they put in those? It can't be just caffeine. I'm litteraly twitching and running from doing one thing to another like I'm on pervitin.

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Anon and his grandfather encounter the Forest Gnomes | /r/Greentext

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Anon gets bamboozled | /r/Greentext

I was f------ lied to Anonymous 06/02/24(Sun)22:12:46 No.919300233 GG >Be me >Anon in highschool in the late 90s, early 00's >Ask mom about girls and what to do about them being jerks. >Mom says to not worry, girls get more mature with age. >FFW to my mid-30s >A number of women still act the same >Shallow >Gold-Digging >Foolish Mom f------ lied to me why would you do this to me mom, I trusted you!

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Anon's a vrigin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/14/19(Tue)04:45:29 No.799706749 How do I stop thinking of women as the enemy? 316 KB JPG 1 Reply Anonymous Have sex. View Thread 05/14/19(Tue)04:46:32 No.799706786

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Anon joins discord server for literature | /r/Greentext

Anonymous litcord 06/02/24(Sun)13:38:18 No.23448463 906 KB PNG >look for lit discord >"people on /lit/ can't discuss books cause they never read!" >join >it's just retards acting retarded >they don't talk about books >one of their pinned comments was a screenshot making fun of a guy who called them out for encouraging a 13yo girl to show her p---- >they randomly call people troons and tell them kys >they're essentially all suicidal losers who've just been long enough with each other that they don't care anymore about the others being really bad people so they try to justify them to outsiders by saying "oh, he has a good heart, it's just jokes" What did I miss, how did things start and how did it become like this? 5 Replies Anonymous >>23448463 (OP) # View Thread 06/02/24(Sun)13:41:35 No.23448469 discord is literal kids and actual fr who want attention. entire platform is a toilet. make quality threads and posts, save them and repost them time to time and you will get discussion here. just dont get butthurt if you post once and dont get a reply. time of day is important.

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Anon is plus size | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 122 KB PNG of my liver 06/02/24(Sun)19:31:20 No.919291718 >be me >Finishing up my cycle, go into the doc to get some blood work >doc says my hdl is 15, my Idl is 220 and my BP is 215 over 160 and I need an ultrasound >Tells me I need to stop using steroids because I'm killing myself and being 290 lbs is going to put me into an early grave >Tell him his woke misandry needs to be dialed down and you can be healthy at any size I thought > Tells me injecting mass amounts of testosterone derivatives and analogues is a human experiment that's clearly going quite poorly and I'm going to die >This soy boy thinks being a man is unhealthy The medical gaslighting plus size men suffer is real

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