Anon is plus size | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 122 KB PNG of my liver 06/02/24(Sun)19:31:20 No.919291718 >be me >Finishing up my cycle, go into the doc to get some blood work >doc says my hdl is 15, my Idl is 220 and my BP is 215 over 160 and I need an ultrasound >Tells me I need to stop using steroids because I'm killing myself and being 290 lbs is going to put me into an early grave >Tell him his woke misandry needs to be dialed down and you can be healthy at any size I thought > Tells me injecting mass amounts of testosterone derivatives and analogues is a human experiment that's clearly going quite poorly and I'm going to die >This soy boy thinks being a man is unhealthy The medical gaslighting plus size men suffer is real

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon doesn't understand science | /r/Greentext

. • 34m (06/02/24 15:35) 77702415 1 Re 0 Img JPG 28KB (678 x 452) images (1) (1).jpg 1 Reply >sky randomly decides to move around >Decides to push whimsical giant pinwheels >Creates electricity??? Y'all honestly believe this s---?

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Anon loves NASCAR | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Goodwrench QUICK LUBE plus NASCA Winston Cup 7 Tim Champion 12/05/21(Sun)20:03:41 No.868060283 Goo GM Goodwrench FOOD CITY 39317312-0E92-43F6-827B-0202CD46D188.jpg 756 KB JPG >Be American Football Fan >Terrible fan community >Complicated rules >Ungrateful idiots paid millions >Be NASCAR fan >loving community every gets along >Easy to follow person in front wins >Good ole' boys work hard drive good to win big

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Anon talks about Dickens | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 141 KB JPG 06/02/24(Sun)11:21:04 No.23448090 >Dostoevsky's favorite writer. >Tolstoy's favorite. >Hugo's favorite. >Nabokov favorite >Never had a single book in the top 100 Why doesn't /lit/ like Dickens? Have you guys simply not read him or is it a genuine dislike? Is the pros to hard to understand for zoomers? Anonymous literally who >>23448142 # >>23448164 # 06/02/24(Sun)11:32:21 No.23448128 Anonymous >>23448128 # 06/02/24(Sun)11:37:03 No.23448142 I think he directed that movie about a chocolate company >>23448164 # Anonymous >>23448090 (OP) # 06/02/24(Sun)11:37:35 No.23448146 >>Never had a single book in the top 100 W-- is that true?

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i hate github rule | /r/Greentext

> have computer issue > google *issue* reddit > thread recommends program that does the exact thing i need > github link > oh no > "open source" > OH NO > no exe > install instructions are 1000+ words > can only be run via cmd > download doesn't include dependencies > "how to use" is even longer than install instructions > ten million commands that does s--- no one has ever needed > name of program is "*issue* fixer" > to fix issue you need a 200 word command > f--- this > go back to reddit thread > "just change this registry key" > go to reg.edit > change a single "enable" to "disable" > problem instantly fixed why the f--- is every single github program so bloated and non-user friendly? if your program doesnt have a UI or at the very least a f------ exe your degree should be revoked

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Anon is trapped | /r/Greentext

File: niggasexpenis.png (211 KB, 1200x675) ☐ Trapped in a Dead Internet Sandbox Anonymous 06/02/24(Sun)02:46:59 No.38051071 >>38051108 >>38051143 >>38051165 >>38051423 >>38052167 >>38052205 >>38052224 >>38052264 I think I'm trapped in a cordoned-off sandbox in the Dead Internet >Be me >Reasonably popular online. You probably haven't heard of me unless you're in some niche corners, but treated as borderline an authority in those corners >develop a project that people seem to love >reddit posts get tens of thousands of upvotes >many friend requests and friendings on twitter from strangers >seems okay >start making some hypotheses about things, making out-of-the-box theories (not schizo, more educated guesses about technology and economics) >a few replies seem unusually extremely agitated by my posts, far moreso than reasonable, I mean really flying into vitriolic rage for what I thought were harmless theories and mental simulations >profiles are also really strange, but don't think of it >but then some time around 2023, everything changes >posts everywhere failing to get traction >sockpuppets affected as well >selfpromos ignored, and when I buy views and upvotes, they get deleted (not even for botting) mysteriously for arbitrary rule breaks >try connecting with similar artists, no one replies >projects floundering >literal only fans are turbo-autistic coomers who don't care about the project, only a single waifu I don't even like, or extremely overthink the project >make me not even want to work on it >barely any visibility on google, despite having hundreds of thousands of views for it >commission artists >high quality artists >artwork comes back low-quality and sloppy with bad fingers and anatomy (long before Al, so that's not it) as if artists wanted to screw me over specifically >others' commissions look fantastic, mine look amateur >could just be that my ideas are bad? >share it personally in a fan group, guaranteed feedback >no feedback in self-promo channels, no reactions, nothing, then server gets "raided" and deleted 2 days later >mysterious as f--- Machine God of the Internet, please let me out and get social approval. I apologize for my sins. Anonymous 06/02/24(Sun)02:52:54 No.38051099 >>38051432 saging this thread to make you even more paranoid

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This is the correct response to brutalism. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: pJ9Q8TP9) My autistic brother hates conc(...) 38 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue)17:24:04 No.19361067 My autistic brother hates concret, specifically concrete blocks so much that instead of having political discussions at the dinner table we talk about concrete. Well its more of a rant than anything. Noone else engages, its just him sreaming about how concrete blocks were used to replace the way better brick. We had a few incidents where he lost his f------ mind. It first started at about 13 years old when he first became obsessed with traditional german construction (fachwerkhäuser, Reetdächer, etc.). After that "phase", he began acting up in public. >at 14, somehow concrete was brought up in class and he scratched a kids face for not sharing his opinion >at 15, he was found smashing concrete blocks at a nearby construction side with a hammer at night (~1500€) >at 15 he had a mental breakdown, because we went to london for vacation and london had a little to many brutalistic buildings for him to handle

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Ignorance is a bliss Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous stuck in the /cave/ 209 KB JPG 05/29/24(Wed) 15:12:43 No.77656144 >spend entire life in childhood home >all understanding of the world is filtered through the internet >all motivations and desires come from the internet >have no idea what the real world is actually like i need to get out of here 8 Replies View Thread : Anonymous >>77656221 # 05/29/24(Wed)15:32:15 No.77656257 But it's warm and cozy in the cave

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Team cringe games | /r/Greentext

Why are modern multiplayer games so dehumanizing? Why are modern multiplayer gam(...) 06/02/24(Sun)19:11:07 No.678350503 ...AND COGS I'M JUST A COG... HAVE A FUNCTION. ...AND IF YOU'RE NECESSARY FOR THAT... ...I WON'T GIVE UP UNTIL YOU AGREE. MY FUNCTION IS GETTING RID OF CURSES... wwww ww FamzmbjXgAEbWbo.jpg 205 KB JPG >noooo you cant go solo and have fun, you must stick to your team and carry out your responsibilities!!! >nooo you cant do anything you find fun other than complete the preset objectives with your team!!!!!! >nooo you cant customize yourself and have varied playstyles, you must follow the META and play your character like everyone else!!!! Why is every modern multiplayer game trying to strip away your individuality??? Its almost like I am working a 9 to 5 corporate job at this point.

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Anon is an engineer. | /r/Greentext

File: 20180829 225921-1.jpg (2.59 MB, 2459x1801) Anonymous 08/29/18(Wed)23:04:28 No.67366413 >>67366450 >>67366497 >>67366555 >>67366787 >>67367096 >>67367109 >>67367188>>67368037 >>67368162 >>67368477 >>67370619 >>67373461 >>67375012 >>67376523 >>67376763 >>67376921 >>67377011 How can I improve my 5W raspberry pi mobile setup/g/? Anonymous 08/29/18(Wed)23:31:51 No.67366787 ►>>67367073 File: 1492369396950.gif (3.46 MB, 377x372) >>67366413 (OP) What the f--- am I looking at Anonymous 08/29/18(Wed)23:53:11 No.67367073 >>67367106 >>67367626 >>67366787 Ever got tired by holding your phone in your hand in bed? >> Anonymous 08/29/18(Wed)23:54:26 No.67367086 ►>>67367101 >>67367109 >>67367114 >>67367153 >>67367207 >>67367276 >>67367369 >>67367370 >>67367390 >>67367435 >>67367454 >>67367511 >>67367757 >>67368113 >>67368362 >>67368431 >>67368570 >>67369246 >>67369929 >>67370715 >>67373430 >>67373451 >>67373616 >>67373640 >>67374136 >>67375206 >>67375396 >>67375441 >>67376821 >>67376873 >>67377011 >>67377059 File: 1527944535435430653828.png (126 KB, 707x786) >>67366528

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Anon has nice neighbors and a nice girlfriend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 441 KB PNG 05/21/24(Tue)22:54:52 No.918713578 >Be me, right wing af >Have annoying leftoid neighbors >Stickers in their windows "Save the ukrainy gaza disabled LANHQZY+ people" >Leftoid sees me one day with my ugly ass gf >Maybe 2/10 on her best day, which is rare >dont mind as she is nice to me and cleans my apt >Leftoid neighbor talks to me >He thinks my gf is trains >Lol w--. Decide to lie and tell him she is >Leftoid thinks im super progressive and wants to be my friend Little does he know I despise him and hope one day he and all the other leftoids will be rounded up and put in camps.

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The weapon to surpass Metal Gear | /r/Greentext

>Was ist das? >Der Dreiecksmann, mein Führer. >Ach so

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Anon is in a sticky shituation | /r/Greentext

>Be me 8KiB, 227x222, images.jpg Anonymous Wed 16 Jan 2019 12:15:23 No.20468843 >At work taking a s--- during my lunch break >Reading funny greentext on toilet View >Accidentally s---, laugh, and sneeze all at the same time >Sound that was supposed to be a laugh comes out as HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNppppppppppppppp pppth... (plop) >Guy in next stall shouts "JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE F--- WAS THAT???" >Trying to stay in the stall till they leave, but breaks almost over... What do now boys?

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