The return of the plague doctor | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories

Anonymous The doctor discovers abscesses 149 KB PNG for me 07/23/18(Mon)23:32:51 No.6947029 > be me > mentor recently died, I therefore inherited his status as doctor > 7th century idk > walk past the farms on my way to the castle > see a family of peasants waiting > male is sick, has a big fleshy orb on his back > *notices buldge* ō>ō what's this? > "please cure my husband, he's become ill" > no clue w-- he has > sure.carvedstone > poke with doctors stick > buldge bursts > whitish cream bursts everywhere > looks like spider blood > smells like spider blood > tastes like spider blood > declare farmer possessed by spider > burned alive at the stake > >king pays me godly for preventing spider disease from spreading > feelsgoodman

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Why didn't they perfect nuclear | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [❤] if someone invented it Germand(...) 834 B PNG 04/26/24(Fri)21:13:54 No.196512911 >Huns bring fermented cabbage to Germany, Germans perfected it. >Romans bring sausages, Germand invent Bratwurst (the perfect hotdog). >America is invented by rich leftist atheist Anglos, German immigrants perfected it. Sure they are known to chimp out on occasion (Germans perfected fascism after all), but I think in the balance of things this can be forgiven. Why do they perfect things? Is it their culture or nature?

Anon makes a friend at his job | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)20:04:16 No.876773293 fcf0d2d1-1373-4c0a-a289-e3dba20703fe.png 1.45 MB PNG >newer guy in our office set up an Xbox 360 and a small screen in his cubicle and plays games on his lunch break >other people in our office make fun of him and talk s--- about it behind his back in the lunchroom >actually caught up with him outside on a ten min break vaping >chat a few times throughout the week >dudes a widow and hes always taking care of his kids >has no time to play games outside of work >decide to start playing games with him during lunch break >have a blast with him >other employees still talk s--- about us >I know this makes his day though because his face lights up with excitement everytime >even brought in some old 360 games to play together >dudes such a gem of a person and it makes me realizes how s----- life can be

Anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

1704327553505730.jpg 126 KB JPG >be me >running late to the kinoplex >walk into the kinotorium just as they're dimming the lights >shout "hey, who turned out the lights? I'm walkin here!" >whole theater bursts out in laughter >projectionist flickers the lights in acknowledgement >get high fives and fist bumps on the way to my seat >hear black girl say "he cute" >sit down and the teenage girl next to me playfully shoves my shoulder what are your best theater experiences?

Caught in the middle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous JPG | 46.54 KB Saturday 2024-04-27 00:22:00 3 hours ago 77280799 >be me >lose 200 pounds >just 300 pounds to go >remember that McDonald's brought back the Oreo frappe >gain all the weight back and then some My goyslop addiction wins again... 6 Replies 1 Image 2< REPLY

They see me rollin', they hatin' | /r/Greentext

File: index.jpg (134 KB, 862x485) em >>3021131>>3021403 >>3021417 >>3021551 gimme your purse! Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)22:28:28 No.3019788 Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)22:37:07 No.3019801 >>3019768 >wheelchair adventurer takes heavy hit from enemy >knocked out of his wheelchair >cleric party member casts heal >wheelchair man is healed >stands up >gets back in his wheelchair >screeches hysterically if anyone ever brings it up

They'll Eat Dust With Compliments of me | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 04/26/24(Fri)18:50:13 No.77281725 >85 years old >Like trains Was he Autistic? 369 KB PNG

Anon Has a blind gf | /r/Greentext

sage 7 KB JPG 11/22/23(Wed)18:07:41 No.75507056 >Dating a blind girl >All of her friends are blind >Love that she holds my arm when we're out >Love that she eventually got used to my apartment and can now navigate around by herself >Love that her guide dog is super friendly and is always on the job to help her. >Love that her family sees me as a great person because her being blind doesn't bother me >Love that she doesn't use the internet because it's too much hassle >Love that she requests I read new books for her in my voice and record them so she has her own boyfriend audiobook library. Why haven't YOU taken the blindpill anon?

Anon’s antidepressant | /r/Greentext

42KiB, 750x738, images.jpg Anonymous Sat 20 Apr 2024 16:42:17 No.77208124 Quoted By: >>77208141 >be me >sad >read greentext >slightly less sad >thank you greentext View

Anon is a certified cat enthusiast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/22(Mon) 12:34:15 No.71073495 50 KB JPG >turned 33 recently >widowed, no kids At least my cat came home. He's all I have left. >get home from work >lay down in bed to cry >kitty climbs into bed with me and cuddles until I feel better Thank you kitty, you are my only friend

THE SYNTHWAVE WARS | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/24(Fri)16:06:08 No.121584507 What does /mu/ think about this album? CAMPISTER OUT 435 KB JPG : Anonymous MEGA DRIVE 198XER 238 KB JPG 04/26/24(Fri)16:08:35 No.121584546 this is the superior synth album

Anon couldn't have seen this coming | /r/Greentext

1661814739335993.jpg 97 KB JPG >Sauronman?! You've allied with Sauron?!

How Elemental SHOULD have been | /r/Greentext

$☐ Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)11:37:55 No.10811999 File: w196fam78uw51.jpg (116 KB, 850x1344) >>10812011 >Bored elemental sorceress decides to test the limits of how small she can make her summons >She summons fire elementals in the form of tiny sparks shaved off a fire striker >They flash before her eyes for a brief moment before fizzling out >She summons an air elemental from a gentle exhale >It's enough to move a leaf a few inches before getting whisked away on the breeze >The dirt fleck earth elementals last the longest >Inevitably, she forgets about them and they end up caked into the treads of her boots >You are a water elemental >You expected to be summoned as an almighty deluge sent to devastate an opponent >Instead, you're a single droplet of sweat snaking down from her sweltering, noxious armpit >You're utterly powerless, left to cling to her skin until you evaporate a few minutes later >At least you managed to cool her off by a minute fraction of a degree$