Anon doesn't understand women. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: FXPOVVOXgAMDgVT.jpg (80 KB, 479x640) "Not ready for a relationship right now" gobar 04/11/24(Thu)22:34:46 No.31047334 [Reply] >>31047806 >19M seeing 20F >2 or 3 weeks of quality >talking, messaging, facetime in evenings >she wants to drive 2 hr to visit me at uni >noproblem.jpg >get the apartment ready >mrclean.mov >day after she spends the night >chilling watching band of brothers >"anon i dont mean to get so serious rn but i wanted to let you know that im just not ready for a relationship rn" >??havent done anything to prompt this >"anon its just that I recently broke up with someone and im not sure how i feel about them right now" >okay....? dudes WTFFF she wants to sleep together in my bed, kiss, go on dates, etc. but is somehow not ready for a relationship?? and on top of that - W-- DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AB YOUR EX ????? Is she thinking about getting back together with this dude and im just a rebound or some s---? SOMEONE JUST EXPLAIN PLS W-- IS HAPPENING

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon developed a strange power | /r/Greentext

Shitsniffer I always know who is s------- 61 KB JPG 04/12/24(Fri)17:40:33 No.77107566 >be me >work for an IT company >everyone s---- on company time because f--- working >enter Bathroom >Someone else is s------ >Instantly know by the smell who it is >I am the Shitsniffer Not even into it, just a strange power I got

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Anon has bad news | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i have bad news bros 7 KB JPG 04/12/24(Fri)14:41:06 No.77107747 >be me >i go to church (because my crush is there) >we hit it off and we're flirting and constantly texting >it's Easter sunday so her family is taking pics >they want me to take the picture >yay.mp4 >i take a couple of pictures, they turned out nice >me being nosy I decide to snoop on her phone >I found out she's been writing yaoi of me and her older brother uh what the f--- should I do, I want to lose my virginity and I want it to be her, but she's a actual weirdo, who writes this s--- with a boy you have a crush on and your own brother

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Change in the meta | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Ed, Edd, and Eddy Online x24 Double Docks AWN IN Health Sean Edd Level 30 Neant Level 100% 04/05/24(Fri)16:07:39 No.143046539 1708406620790140m.jpg 84 KB JPG >another buff for Son of Sephard What the f--- were they thinking?! DoubleDorks has joined the game sonofashepard1239 has upgraded to level 56 Dominator has opened a Scam Request opened a Trade Request Accept Sufan36's Trade Request? ± Yes 2: No Lime: Someone tell sonofashepard to quit killing people on a scam sever? sonofashepard1239: go f--- yourself f----- Sufan36: anyone want a taco eds sauce in exchange for a mailbox? i need to craft the fad freak suit.

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Put those hamsters to work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: tnbFdKJv 04/12/24(Fri) 11:54:51 No.464700585 もうアカン80 岡山県美作市日本最大… もっと見る GK08XY9alAAHf6c.jfif.jpg 102 KB JPG >nuclear bad >oil bad >coal bad >wind propeller kills bird >wave paddles kills fish >dam unemploys the beaver >lithium production poisonous >solar farm destroys environment how tf do we energy?

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Anon is enjoying his flight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Paris baby me 179 KB JPG > Be me 04/12/24(Fri)13:20:21 No.77107273 > flying to Paris for the first time > have a mid row seat next to the window > enjoying my view from the window while enjoying peanuts > plane is about to take off > feels excited > suddenly a fat Karen is waddling towards > she is out of breath > Excuse me anon, can you give up your window seat so my husband and I can sit together? > me looking at them with a disgusted look > no sorry > her face turns red and she huffs away muttering about how selfish I am Im sorry but your love is not as important as me seeing the airplane take off bitch

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Anon has an older brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 81 KB PNG 04/11/24(Thu)07:36:28 No.195904241 >older brother drove my mom crazy >brought cops to our house every night >lie, cheat, steal anyway he can >most selfish person you'll ever meet >gets random girl pregnant >pretends to be a family man, now >never helps any of us out Loved unconditionally by mother >Me >try my best help those around me >volunteer to help the homeless >take care of my aging mom >studying hard to find a job to help my family >play video games sometimes Mom says Im an awful person and my brother is the one shes proud of. Happens in you c---?

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Anon smokes a little weed. | /r/Greentext

File: angry-woman-3147004335.jpg (117 KB, 1300x800) Anonymous 04/11/24(Thu)08:12:05 No.31044416 [Reply] >>31044462 >>31044481 >Smoke a little herb as celebration for quitting my s----- job and finding a new one >Girlfriend of 6 months asks to stop by on her way to a thing she's going to for a kiss >Tell her I smoked (she's smoked multiple times over the course of us dating) >ColdShoulder.jpg >have to pry it out of her >"I don't want to be near that stuff I think it's bad" >F------ suggested we smoke together earlier this week I just f------ can't sometimes, she flips on a f------ dime

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Anon's stench made her phase through dimensions | /r/Greentext

105 KB PNG >had a crush in 12th grade >she's the only girl in school with fat t--- >also kinda nice idc >never talked to her before because I am not brave enough >somehow lucky enough to sit right next to her >the first day of the semester, after we sit right next to each other, I start saying hello and s--- >she didn't respond >the next day she disappeared >like straight out went missing >no one knows where's she >she left 0 trace >even her closest friends have 0 clue of what happened >her entire family went missing too >their house is straight out empty >the police still can't find the bodies or anything about them ??? 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Yeah anon Kitboga is to blame | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 76 KB PNG 04/12/24(Fri)12:53:50 No. 195940809 >work inone of the last legitimate call centers in my city >we went from a staff of 500 back in 2019 down to 75 today >heard rumors that they're shutting down the company >don't blame them since 90% of the time when cutomers pick up the phone and hear our accent they just hang up >other times it's just some zoomer thinking we're a scam call center trying to make scam baiting content f--- you kitboga. you ruined the reputation of a legitimate industry in my country and destroyed the lives of tens of thousands of families. i hope you burn in the flames of hell. : Anonymous >the flames of hell India? 04/12/24(Fri)12:54:54 No.195940831

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Anon doesn’t want a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous This happened last week 69 KB JPG > Be me 04/12/24(Fri)11:13:10 No.77106771 > living in a typical boring neighborhood >Become good friends with a girl who just moved in > we start talking and soon we start hanging out > she is more exciting if we can call it that > bonding over shared hobbies like boxing and going on late night drives together > gets a crush over her > tell my friends about her > Discover she does OnlyFans to pay for college > my heart drops > but it doesnt change our friendship > Over time, my feelings towards her gets stronger > this one time when we have our late night drive > drives to spot with a view over some fields > Finally gather the courage to express my desire for my first b------ > we chat a bit, listen to music and all that usual s--- > I tell her I have heard about what situation she is in > As I start to pull out money, she gently stops me > Oh I cant accept that Anon. You are my best friend > she says with sincerity. "I am very happy to be your friend, to be honest I dont think you deserve someone like me." > bitch w-- is that supposed to mean > drive her home and cry alone in my car There really is not any hope for our kind

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anon makes a mess on the oven | /r/Greentext

Anonymous share uncoventional masturbati(...) 270 KB JPG 04/06/24(Sat) 19:41:42 No.77043122 One time I woke up and was so horny that I basically f----- the oven door handle in the middle of making my morning tea and cummed a giant load all over the oven door and glass panel. there was so much c-- that cleaning it all up took longer than f------ it, but honestly, I would do it again 3 Replies View Thread Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 19:46:21 No.77043187 I f----- a dishwasher once (OP's mom)

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Anon plays pokémon | /r/Greentext

File: 1368299498335.jpg-(170 KB, 500x500, electrode-alt.jpg) Anonymous 05/11/13(Sat) 15:11 No.12277548 >Playing HeartGold in bed with girlfriend beside me >At Battle Frontier over 90 kill streak >girlfriend gets frisky >put DS away and close the lid >DS enters /sleepmode.exe >I enter /fuckmode.sex >keep banging and checking DS >light goes from green to flashing red >ohfucknotimeleftheregoesmyscore.s--- >ponder if it's ok to unplug girlfriend so I can plug my DS into the adapter >f---, can not stop, too f------ awkward >suddenmomentofclarity.png >must finish.girlfriend.before.battery.dies.zip >set thrusters to 200% >>set flux capacitors into turbodrive >enter /ultimate.omega.nega.f---.mode.hue >ready up girlfriend for full force attack >pounding her imprint into the bed >breaking human land speed record > friction produced makes the room illuminate >fabric of time bending around area of impact >girlfriend uses Explosion and finally comes with the force of a 1000 suns >rush out of bed flag still high >get my adapter >plug DS into adapter >continue game >girlfriend's body still vibrating >sees me standing with my DS in my hands >has a look on her face which can not be described in words >realizes I gave her the f------ of a lifetime >not because the f--- of it, but >just. >to. >save. >my. >f------ >game. >truestory.jpg

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