Bong uses his humor license | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous (ID: cE4zWytT) E 04/08/24(Mon)20:39:13 No. 19978292 10 KB JPG people M >Let me tell you about your country >*shart* >As an Irish-American of Scottish ancestry blah blah blah blah t. Jason Gomez-Schmidt >is that a picture of a female??? I MUST MENTION BLACK PHALLUSES >white people white people white people white people white people white >is that a British person doing a THING? WHAT THE ACTUAL F--- IS WRONG WITH THEM!!! >9/11? no that wasnt angry muslims you retard it was the government or something >Europe is so f----- KEKED dude.... OF COURSE I'd use my guns against a traitorous government, j-just not right at the moment... >*slurps corn syrup* >YEAHH BURN FOSSIL FUEL M----------- >I'm 1/96th Seminole, I hate what f------ white people did to my creed and culture >*drives 30 seconds to buy some milk duds and soda* yeah dude, i'm fat because the NWO puts chemicals in the air

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon takes his relationship to the next level | /r/Greentext

monymous 04/08/24(Mon)18:30:32 No.14141618 >have gf for 8 months now >she tried to become a gymnast then an actress, works as a clown in a children's hospital for nearly two years now >says we should take our relationship to the next level >asks me if I want role-play in the bedroom >tell her I want to bone her dressed as clown >first surprised but agrees >next night go over to her place >fuckingclowngf.mp4 >c-- the biggest nut of my life inside her >cuddling post-coitus >all of a sudden she says "oh almost forgot something" >opens the drawer and pulls out a pie with cream topping and a clown horn >shoves the pie in my face >"ok, we are even now :^)" >honkhonk.mp3 should I put a ring on her?

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Hard to find the perfect nectar that the glorious goddess will bless me with of my liking.(I'm not a simp) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)20:02:57 No.28187105 File: 1375486401415.png (17 KB, 558x528) >>28174133 (OP). >Do you guys care if a female has a innie or outie p----? At this point I can only say... Beggars can't be choosers.

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Anon just want friends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 49 KB JPG 04/08/24(Mon) 12:57:21 No.77061393 >get invited to a small server >for autists >Join thinking maybe I'd find frens >There is conversation >Join in >Only first five seconds hey talk to me >Later start ignoring me >wait a bit >Try to be apart of conversation >Still get talked over >Leave feeling sad Normies, autists, adhdcels f------ everyone does this only thing I want is frens and a connection >I'll be frens with you anon Don't I've f------ had that promise before h-------- View Thread

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goes outside once | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 111 KB PNG >look some stuff up 04/08/24(Mon) 13:52:37 No.916563005 >walking outside at night >no flashlight >notice some movement >turn on phone light >hundreds of worms carpeting the ground >they all vanish back into the dirt at warp speed >"there are an average of 500 earthworms per square meter of rich topsoil" You c---- that told me to "go outside" and "touch grass" can go f--- yourselves.

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MURICA | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1245/10000 2000 drawing challenge 3000 beat saber w 3d model he is an actual giraffe Snaxia 3D! matthew7159 You met him in gm6134: EL 04/06/24(Sat)15:00:01 No.73118868 1447 ENTEVA Untitled.png 2.13 MB PNG She has an American flag in her room when she's: -Not American -Living in Japan Why? Why do retarded people like her do stupid s--- like this? : Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 15:01:32 No.73118935 Because America is the greatest nation on earth and Jesus's favorite country and if you disagree you're a f----- terrorist commie >>73119046 # >>73119986 # >>73121594 # >>73121780 # >>73122603 # >>73123947 # >>73124078 # >>73126795 # >>73127155 # >>73128254 # >>73129972 # >>73130215 # >>73130619 # >>73145942 # >>73146717 # >>73147017 # >>73155023 # >>73156199 # >>73158314 # >>73160231 # >>73160619 # >>73160904 # >>73162773 # >>73163556 # >>73164225 # >>73166062 # >>73169021 # >>73169392 # >>73169645 #

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Did Nat See That Cumming | /r/Greentext

▼Settings Mobile Home 04/08/24(Mon)03:01:54 No.77060273 Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Plebbiter encounters chad Nazi r/pics 7 hr. ago Popular on Reddit right now Nazi spotted at the gym in Long Island. New York WAFFEN 88 ✩ 38K ⇓ 6.2K ↑ Share 350 KB PNG Join >Gets intimidated by chad nazi at the gym because he was there >Takes a Picture of him from behind >Posts on r/pics >38k Updoots in 7 hours What the f---? Anonymous >>77060273 (OP) 04/08/24(Mon)03:03:00 No.77060278 Heh. I can imagine how hard the circlejerk in the comments under that post must be.

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Anon is gonna lose a toe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3.47 MB GIF delicious 04/08/24(Mon)07:07:32 No.20381545 >bake something that has 2-3 cups of sugar in it >to me it tastes like I could've added 2 more cups of sugar >to other people it tastes delicious and sweet >eat walmart s--- from the bakery like donuts or brownies >tastes super sweet as f--- and Is there something f------ wrong with me? Or is it just that processed foods have copious amounts of corn syrup making it sweeter? Every time I bake and even add EXTRA sugar, it's like I didn't add much sugar at all. : Anonymous 04/08/24(Mon)07:08:59 No.20381554 >Is there something f------ wrong with me? You have a case of Americanitus, I'm sorry to break the news but it's terminal

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Anon needs to buy new socks | /r/Greentext

Anonymous this post has been fact checked by real senseis TRUE 1.89 MB GIF 21 Replies 1 Image 04/08/24(Mon)02:39:50 No.77057301 >boyfriend has extreme anger issues >he tries to put on multiple pairs of socks in a row but they all have holes in them >he screams "WHY DO THEY ALL HAVE F------ HOLES IN THEM! I HATE HAVING F------ HOLES IN MY SOCKS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" >feel very scared View Thread

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Anon likes straight men | /r/Greentext

381 KB JPG >Coolest character ever created >Is gay Why god why

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German on dat simp simp | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Gi1YJZrE 04/07/22(Thu)13:12:10 No.371607175 >>371606882 # who cares about richer. if you are good looking and my gf likes you can have sex with her and I watch, I dont have a problem with that. at the end of the day she is with me though, you are merely a pleasurity, a boy-toy, used once and discarded without an afterthought >>371607392 # >>371607455 # >>371607594 # >>371608114 # >>371609090 # Anonymous (ID: DMLBNENU Anonymou +I had a vasectomy yesterd 791 04/07/22(Thu)13:14:39 No.371607455 >>371607175 # And they say Germans have no sense of humor

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Apparently I'm 40 (I'm 27) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.66 MB GIF 03/01/22(Tue)04:59:11 No.67610990 Turning 25 in an hour. Feel so old its making me super depressed 03/01/22(Tue)05:00:28 No.67610998 Anonymous >>67610990 (OP) # I'm 35. Shut the f--- up.

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Anon gets his wife a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Jk3zNwC1 04/08/24(Mon)04:24:57 No.464287643 Dunno if I should consider myself a success or failure half the time >Married 12 years with three kids, wife is fantastic >Wife is sad because she has no friends, everyone around is extreme lib and she hates >Meet some hippy girl in her early 20s online, despite politics realize she would get along well with my wife >They become friends, wife finds out girl likes me >Wife invites her to live with us >Lots of degeneracy, wife is way happier I dunno lads I just dunno. At least the kids just believe she is the live in maid, and she is fantastic at cleaning all sorts of things. >>464287739 # >>464287899 #

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