Anon Comes Up Short | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 8 271 KB PNG 12/13/23(Wed)12:00:43 No.91077963 >be me >Have micro d--- >Not like your typical small d--- that can get up to 3-4 inches no like an actual micro d--- >When erect and stretched/pushed to the bone it's maybe 1.7 inches >Not into SPH either so no benefit there >literally too small to actually properly masturbate >Get a girlfriend at one point >Tell her before we have sex about my "condition" >She laughs and says it's probably not that small >She stares at it like pic related when she sees it >still single I'm considering just getting a penectomy because at this point it'd be easier to explain : Anonymous >>910779637 (OP) # You need to start gooning rn and become a p--- addict so sph and cuckolding will appeal to you. Sorry life isnt fair bro >>910782419 # 12/13/23(Wed)12:05:53 No.910779834 : Anonymous Your d--- is literally shorter than mine is wide. 12/13/23(Wed)12:17:01 No.910780327 : Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)12:43:00 No.910781490 Why not get a phalloplasty, I hear they can make them look pretty good these days 12/13/23(Wed)12:47:53 No.910781704 : Anonymous >>910779637 (OP) # Small d---- require small holes. Look for small holes anon. ;)

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Should have let him finished | /r/Greentext

Does Hakuna Matata have an e---------- joke? Does Hakuna Matata have an eja(...) >And oh, the shame >(He was ashamed!) 12/15/23(Fri)22:24:46 No.193220344 timon pumbaa.jpg 79 KB JPG >Thought of changin' my name >(Oh, what's in a name?) >And I got downhearted >(How did you feel?) >Every time that l- >Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids! Was he going to say "every time that I came"? Kind of weird for a kids movie. https://youtu.be/kaOlxl|4LCA?si=7JV XYFj3sv5SWNjd&t=67 [Open]

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anon misses his chance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Oh my god boys it really is ov(...) 37 KB JPG 12/15/23(Fri) 18:45:12 No.75775188 >7/10 with nice body messages me on yubo wanting to f--- >using slang terms >dont really get what she means >she says nevermind and ghosts me Why was I born?

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Anon played Omori | /r/Greentext

Anonymous File: deadnny.jpg 12/12/23(Tue)11:27:34 No.457640414 ► >>457641084 (156 KB, 1416x1068) >noooo i dont wanna play violin! *dies* What was his f------ problem?

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Anon activates his gamer rage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/23(Sat)00:24:35 No.660808937 grand theft autory FIVE 9.17.2013 IMG_9441.jpg 60 KB JPG Since GTA hype is back. I'll tell a ragetard story from GTA 5's release hype. >Be me, 15 years old in 2013. >GTA 5 hype is massive, played every GTA game in my childhood up to that point. >Already planned to buy the game online because I knew it would be sold out at stores & I wasn't old enough to technically buy it. >Still have 2 prepaid $150 cards my grandpa gave for my birthday. >Bought GTA 5 at release online, got it within 2 days. >Did the intro missions, after that immediately went to the strip club as is tradition. >Got a lap dance & wanted to keep touching the girl, stupid rule where you can't touch them. >Touched them too much & got thrown out & couldn't re- enter. Got p----- off & started fighting the bouncers. >Somehow f------ lost the fight because I suck, WASTED. >[Tard rage activated] immediately ejected the disk & threw it at the wall frisbee style as I usually did with other games I raged at. >Didn't expect it to break because the other games never did, GTA 5 disk breaks, a little piece of disk chips off at the center, didn't work afterwards. >Had to wait 2 months before I could by another copy. Everyone & friends playing GTA 5 while I'm playing GTA 4 & the episode DLCs while in a state of regret & self loathing.

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Anon loves the D in a no homo way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I love sucking d--- 704 KB WEBM 12/16/21(Thu)06:04:29 No.21545752 >message a bunch of guys "hey i want to suck your d---" >suck a guy's d--- for the first time. very weird but extremely hot in retrospect >want to suck d--- more often, but don't want to be gay >put an ad up "looking for someone who wants b------- every day no h---" >guy responds. pretty average looking. not impressive but eh >invite him over, immediately give him head as discussed. 10 minutes into meeting this guy and i've sucked his d---, swallowed his c-- >comes over again the same day, give him another b------ >texts me the next day, agree to suck his d--- again >guy blows my phone up constantly. "bro where u at lol" >usually agree to meet even if i don't feel like it. always glad that i did. >tame my gag reflex on a dildo just to give this guy better head >he's all like "f--- yeah dude that's so good s--- dude im gonna c--" >basically become glurk glurk 4900 >probably swallow a gallon of this guy's j--- over the next few months >suddenly he moves to another city f---

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The Roman Empire | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/13/22(Wed)02:15:26 No.314578097 >Be ancient romans >blame jews for everything >jews piece together some fairy tale religion called christianity so they can continue existing 253 KB JPG >make it so that the religion's main God is hebrew, follower of judaism, his mother jewish, and tell every follower to sacrifice their own happiness for the jewish "God" >make Jews the chosen people and jewish land is his favorite land >start mixing up and destablizing roman civilisation by conversions >it works and roman empire falls >today, jews still use abrahamic missionaries to convert countries built on strong cultural religion to slowly destablize them >christcucks gaslight themselves into ignoring that christianity started as a jewish subsect >their ignorance makes your job easy Imao aside from Greeks and Romans, Europeans have literally zero culture and their entire existence loses it's meaning once that book written by their "enemies" ceases to exist. How come people still turn a blind eye to the fact that jews use abrahams to mix up, destablize countries and then take full control of every country that has a strong cultural/religious roots before they start doing their (((thing))

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Wish cute girls would stop hitting on me bros... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)17:46:24 No.660782268 Fx5GMS4XgA8JQ70.jpg 28 KB JPG >be man >enter lobby of a Farming Sim >"hey girls, how ya doin" >silence >"wow is that a guy? nice voice" >"do you even know how to play this Imao" >"im from the same location has you, be my bf haha" >they kept making fart-jokes and asking me for hand-pics >after a few games i get out, too tense Why are women like this? I just went back to play boomer- shooters with the boys...

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anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21 (Wed)15:10:54 No.850421775 106 KB JPG >be me >sleeping.wav >dreaming that i am a young jewish boy following around my older also jewish cousin >we are walking around poland at night >going alley to alley s------- >just dropping our pants and taking massive s---- in corners and on walls >wake up >oh no >there's a s--- in my ass >it's stuck there like a s--- cork >book it from bed to bathroom >wrap hand in toilet paper >manually pull cork s--- out of my ass >unleash a tsunami of diarrhea >f------ jews >f------ jews s--- my pants

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Anon's Name Is Gilbert | /r/Greentext

File: 49116898-BA06-481F-9C31-65BA817A1011.jpg (32 KB, 244x213) O Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)21:34:31 No.75769824 [Reply] >>75770073 >>75770461 Why does everyone call me anon? My name is Gilbert □ Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)22:00:00 No.75770014 >>75770073 >>75770461 File: 1697820688996987.png (402 KB, 736x813) My name is Gilbert too Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)22:08:05 No.75770073 >>75769824 (OP) >>75770014 Imaooo this n---- name gilbert Imfao

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Anon is a giganerd | /r/Greentext

File: wittgenstein.png (224 KB, 674x506) Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)13:55:22 No.30363546 > be me > 19 > 6'2 > 74 kg > father died before i was born, mother killed herself when i was 2 > sociopatic, eccentric, impulsive > signs of schizoid, narcissistic, bipolar personality disorders > studied mathematics and mechanics > won National U20 Chess Olympiad > never attended to any class in uni > i was there only ones for national mathematics olympiad qualification > got in physical fight with math professor, because he called logicians useless > they will reunion me next semester, because i won National Mathematics Olympiad > never had any social media > never had any strong connection with people > never touched female in my life > never talked to female in my life > never got interested in any female in my life > didn't went outside for second month already > too busy working on Putnam Olympiad problems > too busy reading wittgenstein's tractatus > too busy reading textbooks on analytic number theory, topology, differential geometry, analysis, mathematical logic etc > too busy recompiling my gentoo's kernel > too busy editing my config files Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)15:35:32 No.30364311 It's you again.

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Kagurabachi anon sets a challenge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)18:17:44 No.260566266 >>260566307 >>260566312 >>260566357 >>260566384>>260566415>>26056708 >>260565065 Last digit is Chihiro's penis length in inches Second to last is Sojo's length in inches No 260566266 Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)18:19:15 No.260566312 ✓ >>260566266 Rivals indeed Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)18:23:13 No.260566415 ✓ >>260566266 M-MASAKA! $$ 導 Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)18:19:02 No.260566307 >>260566266 Kino.... 外健 Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)19:33:57 No.260567963 ✓ >>260566266 evenly matched

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Anons discuss an important political question | /r/Greentext

File: 611ffb1676743eaf992fefb8a(...).jpg (18 KB, 300x300) | 12/14/23(Thu)13:39:02 No.451908094 D >>451908345 Anonymous (ID: OH8w1+E3) >>451909526 >>451911867 >>451912048 >>451913702 >>451914160 >>451914446 >tribalism and in-group preference is natural to humans >competition is between groups and individuals is natural for humans >Humans, as much as other great apes are hierarchical species. >Humans are cautious of other humans, who different from them. >Humans have desire to harvest as much resources as possible for themself and their family. Humans are literally born right-wing, why there are left-wingers? Anonymous (ID: VJrQHfYE) >>451908094 (OP) >why there are left-wingers? Women 12/14/23(Thu)13:41:38 No.451908345 ► >>451908435

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