anon can’t win | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (ID: DUI+UFhw) 1.33 MB PNG >get job >virus hits >lose job >get job fighting virus >virus cured >lose job : Anonymous (ID: cKKQa+zd >>24749979 (OP) # Imao he thinks there's a virus No.24749979 No.24749995

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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its over for trumpcels | /r/Greentext

File: kekultimate.png (909 KB, 1148x500) TRUMP LEADING BIDEN IN SWING STATES NEVADA GEORGIA ARIZONA MICHIGAN PENNSYLVANIA +4 BIDEN 2 WISCONSIN TRUMP Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)08:49:53 No.75321178 ► >me and all my friends get convicted of not only election fraud but also influencing an attempted coup >they don't charge me by the time I get re-elected president (because I am funny as hell) >I pardon myself and all my cronies >we make billions on the wars our retarded colleagues started and leave the white house with everything we ever wanted inb4civilwar.jpeg

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Anon has particular interests | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: UIR29HEO) 11/06/23 (Mon)18:01:29 No.32673500 ► File: b469f602101c113a109a0afe7(...).jpg (111 KB, 1080x1080) >ASL 21/M/USA >About Yourself 6'2, 180 lbs, white, muscular build with some body fat (similar to a leaner dad-bod). I have brown hair and blue eyes, mainly of germanic ancestry. I lift a lot and I lift almost every day. I'm into theology, philosophy, and history. I also play roblox a lot if you're into also gaming together on the side >Sexual Interests despite my build, I'm not into having sex with twinks or submissive men. my greatest sexual fantasy would be set up like this: you're on a walk alone at night and it's dark; the streets are quiet and no one is in sight. suddenly, you hear a rumbling of tin cans and the sloshing of wet trash bags. you draw nearer, wondering if the noise inside that dumpster is a trapped animal, lifting the lid open ever so slightly. suddenly, i jump out of the container, naked, oiled up, and covered in trash grease, with a raccoon mask concealing my face. luckily, youve brought your human-sized raccoon trapping crate and i've run right into it. from there on, im tortured relentlessly (sexually and physically) before being released back into the wild after youve had your fun, slumped and exhausted from our primal romp. i retreat back to my trash can, gobbling down a glizzy on the way in order to regain my strength. >Normal Interests already mentioned but i'm into theology and the like. I'm really into playing roblox, so if youre online and we're on good terms, i'll probably ask you to play. >Looking For men similar in age and build, but i don't mind if youre thinner or fatter as long as youre able to humor my sexual interests >Not Looking For women, trannies >Contact on discord, i havent adopted a username yet

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Anon likes warhammer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)06:32:22 No.75330973 img.png 26 KB PNG c. >be me >meet a girl in a discord server >have nice conversations with her >she DM's me and we start talking and knowing each other more >she's pretty funny and we have a lot of things in common >she asks me what kind of things i like >i mention warhammer 40k >she seems interested >i start lore dumping her about the universe, factions, characters, etc... >my autistic explanation goes on for almost an hour >my messages make literal walls text >she hasn't responded in a day Did i f--- up?

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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema

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anon "asked out" her crush | /r/Greentext

>be me, boymoder tranner in high school >have a crush on a boy in my year >finally decide to girl up and ask him out in a creative and seductive way >decide I'm going to dance for him to the sound of my favorite anime intro >bring portable speaker with music, dress in a really cute cheerleader outfit inspired by my favorite anime and actually girlmode for the first time >perform the dance in front of him, his friends and the rest of the class at recess 481 KB GIF >at the end of the dance, one move involves lifting up my skirt for like 2 seconds, not wearing any underwear and I made sure to shave my bussy so that he would get a glimpse of how delicious it looks. Flash it for 2 seconds >the dance ends with a jump and me smiling and doing the V sign with both hands >I blurt out 'this dance was dedicated to Matthew' (name of the boy I like) >most of the class was silent, some of the guys started laughing Did I f--- up? I've been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and genuinely don't know how to flirt so I thought this would be a good idea

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Would this work asking for a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous et popopoka think: it's okay 288 KB PNG 11/07/23(Tue)07:06:13 No.189654369 >take out massive loan, talking like 150k >use loan money to go to a 4-year overseas >after college is over, don't come home and start working in the overseas country >don't pay the money back if you're overseas your american good boy points score has no use to you. contempt of court for debt-related issues is only a crime in 4 US states. it's unlikely they'd go through the hassle to even try to garnish wages overseas. is this the ideal path for americabros who just want out of the country?

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A not so /g/entleman | /r/Greentext

Anti-Virus Kaspersky W KASPERSKY Kaspersky Anti-Virus ISTILA 134 KB JPG Explain antiviruses to me as if I was a 45 year old housewife. : Anonymous >>70257524 (OP) # May I speak to your husband? No.70257528 >>70257565 # >>70257576 # >>70257725 # >>70258131 # >>70258718 # >>70258766 # >>70259159 # >>70259190 # >>70259302 # >>70259591 # >>70259848 # >>70259986 # >>70260074 # >>70260275 #

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Anon needs to get off 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 204 KB PNG 11/06/23 (Mon)12:13:28 No.189616130 >Normie coworker asked me what I think of the palestine/israel war >Almost said "I hope they both kill each other" This f------ website Almost said "ni myself on the street the other day "too while talking to

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Anon's brother invites friends | /r/Greentext

>be child me, autist >big brothers friends come over with pizza and breadsticks NA >all hanging out on the porch >figure id come say hi since i dont socialize much and want a slice of pizza >excited to practice social skills >all of them bullying me, didn't really notice at the time, thought they were joking >how to respond?? >weakly toss half of a breadstick at one as joke and laugh Nooo00000000 Noooo NOOOO0000000 30000 Nodo -00 Ne 0.000 ooooood 24 KB JPG >misses him, bad throw, plops to ground beside him >death stares me >ohhh i fuckt up >chucks empty soda can at me as hard as possible >whacks my face, cuts my eyebrow in half >run off bleeding and crying >hear them laughing >still have scar never again.

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edgardo, haven't been on here long. dunno if it's a repost or not | /r/Greentext

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Anons epic virginity loss story | /r/Greentext

THIS IS WHERE I WATCHED MY PARENTS DIE RAPHAEL 1 Virginity loss thread, I'll start >Be me at 19 >Asian family moves into my neighborhood >The daughter who's my age is f------ hot and obviously out of my league >Neighborhood has a BBQ, decide to hit it off with her >We're laughing at dumb s--- and have similar interests, it's a f------ dream >Decide to take her on a drive in my big ass van to show her some cool s--- around town >It's getting pretty late, she made a few dirty jokes and somehow got on the topic of her t--- 1.07 MB PNG >It's somehow like a f------ p---- I can't believe how well it's going >She says "well I can show you my t--- if you want" >I tell her i would very much appreciate her offer to that >She says she wants to see my c--- in return >We end up going in the back of my van and get nude >She has a f------ angelic body, her t--- are smaller and she has a really good ass shape >She's stroking my d--- and starts to lick and kiss the tip >I start to question if I'm dreaming but I'm not, it's f------ incredible >She laughs and says "it's a nice d--- even though it's mutilated" making fun of my circumcision >She is deepthroating it and talks about how this is actually the first time she's done anything sexual >She says "it's really f------ hard and I'm really turned on, can I ride you?" >She gets her t--- really close to my face and oh f--- I just came, I don't know how to finish this story now I was just f------ with you all I'm still a virgin sadly.. f--- >Be me right now >Wipe the j--- from my hand >Go to kitchen and make soup

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We live in a judocracy | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_4291.png (16 KB, 180x179) [Reply] >be me, proud American-Israeli >wake up in my house (the one my neighbor bought and thinks belongs to him) >pass him coming out of his dog kennel, kick him in the ribs for making eye contact with me >he curses at me between gasps of pain >this makes me feel unsafe and attacked, so I call the police Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)21:11:18 No.75323203 >they arrive, apologize to me for the delay, and beat the intruder within an inch of his life >feel like he hasn't learned his lesson, so make a note to also restrict his children's water privilege for the week >step out of the house, praise G-d for making me strong enough to handle these trials >check my phone >only 149 out of the top 150 corporations in America have praised Israel today >fall to my knees right there on the driveway >call my uncle Moishe in tears about this >within minutes, the federal government has seized the offending company's assets >CEO has been found dead in his house, 2 bullets to the back of the brain (suicide of course) >slowly dry my tears and walk back inside >it's too hard being a Jew in America to work today People are so mean to us and they don't even know our struggles.

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