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>be child me, autist >big brothers friends come over with pizza and breadsticks NA >all hanging out on the porch >figure id come say hi since i dont socialize much and want a slice of pizza >excited to practice social skills >all of them bullying me, didn't really notice at the time, thought they were joking >how to respond?? >weakly toss half of a breadstick at one as joke and laugh Nooo00000000 Noooo NOOOO0000000 30000 Nodo -00 Ne 0.000 ooooood 24 KB JPG >misses him, bad throw, plops to ground beside him >death stares me >ohhh i fuckt up >chucks empty soda can at me as hard as possible >whacks my face, cuts my eyebrow in half >run off bleeding and crying >hear them laughing >still have scar never again.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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edgardo, haven't been on here long. dunno if it's a repost or not | /r/Greentext

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Anons epic virginity loss story | /r/Greentext

THIS IS WHERE I WATCHED MY PARENTS DIE RAPHAEL 1 Virginity loss thread, I'll start >Be me at 19 >Asian family moves into my neighborhood >The daughter who's my age is f------ hot and obviously out of my league >Neighborhood has a BBQ, decide to hit it off with her >We're laughing at dumb s--- and have similar interests, it's a f------ dream >Decide to take her on a drive in my big ass van to show her some cool s--- around town >It's getting pretty late, she made a few dirty jokes and somehow got on the topic of her t--- 1.07 MB PNG >It's somehow like a f------ p---- I can't believe how well it's going >She says "well I can show you my t--- if you want" >I tell her i would very much appreciate her offer to that >She says she wants to see my c--- in return >We end up going in the back of my van and get nude >She has a f------ angelic body, her t--- are smaller and she has a really good ass shape >She's stroking my d--- and starts to lick and kiss the tip >I start to question if I'm dreaming but I'm not, it's f------ incredible >She laughs and says "it's a nice d--- even though it's mutilated" making fun of my circumcision >She is deepthroating it and talks about how this is actually the first time she's done anything sexual >She says "it's really f------ hard and I'm really turned on, can I ride you?" >She gets her t--- really close to my face and oh f--- I just came, I don't know how to finish this story now I was just f------ with you all I'm still a virgin sadly.. f--- >Be me right now >Wipe the j--- from my hand >Go to kitchen and make soup

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We live in a judocracy | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_4291.png (16 KB, 180x179) [Reply] >be me, proud American-Israeli >wake up in my house (the one my neighbor bought and thinks belongs to him) >pass him coming out of his dog kennel, kick him in the ribs for making eye contact with me >he curses at me between gasps of pain >this makes me feel unsafe and attacked, so I call the police Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)21:11:18 No.75323203 >they arrive, apologize to me for the delay, and beat the intruder within an inch of his life >feel like he hasn't learned his lesson, so make a note to also restrict his children's water privilege for the week >step out of the house, praise G-d for making me strong enough to handle these trials >check my phone >only 149 out of the top 150 corporations in America have praised Israel today >fall to my knees right there on the driveway >call my uncle Moishe in tears about this >within minutes, the federal government has seized the offending company's assets >CEO has been found dead in his house, 2 bullets to the back of the brain (suicide of course) >slowly dry my tears and walk back inside >it's too hard being a Jew in America to work today People are so mean to us and they don't even know our struggles.

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Anon visits the Chocolate Factory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ROVIECLIP 1.59 MB GIF : Anonymous 33 KB JPG retard 07/28/22(Thu)08:36:53 No.171727073 >Wonka shows a 9-year-old child a shrink ray >Child uses the shrink ray as any child would >Wonka disqualifies him from the competition for this because having fun is bad 07/28/22(Thu)08:49:15 No.171727560 >>171727073 (OP) # >go on tour >contract of the tour says you're not supposed to touch anything >touch thing >WHATTHEFUCK DINDU NUFFIN >>171727634 # >>171738516 # >>171738926 # >>171739374 # >>171743538 # >>171748204 # 07/28/22(Thu)08:51:00 No.171727634 : Anonymous >>171727560 # >Make 9 year old sign extremely long contract with extremely tiny wording >Expect him to listen to it >>171727854 # >>171728444 # >>171739299 # >>171744760 # >>171752921 # 07/28/22(Thu)08:56:23 No.171727854 : Anonymous >>171727634 # Wonka specifically told him not to use the wonka vision. As a 9 year old on a factory tour I would not have done something the owner of the factory explicitly told me not to do. >>171728032 # >>171730563 # >>171731190 # 07/28/22(Thu)09:01:41 No.171728032 : Anonymous >>171727854 # I would have, you sound like you were a boring kid, why not play with it? >>171728588 # >>171728768 # >>171730420 # >>171737889 # >>171739174 # >>171744473 # >>171744785 # >>171745266 # : Anonymous How do you defeat wonka? 07/28/22(Thu)09:04:21 No.171728122 >>171728144 # >>171731279 # >>171733658 # >>171751052 #

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Seinfeld is timeless | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)14:33:52 No.19180055 There's no way that moving in with your parents, is a sign that your life is right on track. Seinfeld.S05E02.The.Puffy.Shirt.720p.HULU.WEBRip.AAC2.0.H.264- NTb-mpv-shot0001.jpg 343 KB JPG Oof, Seinfeld didn't age well. 11/06/23(Mon)14:35:58 No.19180061 "The thing I don't understand about the suicide person is the people who try to commit suicide, for some reason they don't die, and that's it. They stop trying. Why don't they just keep trying? What's changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact. it's worse, because now they've found out here's one more thing you stink at. And that's why these people don't succeed in life to begin with. They give up too easy. I say, pills don't work? Try a rope. Car won't start in the garage? Get a tune- up. There's nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you've set for yourself. Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage Tags: comedy, humour, inspirational, mental-illness, self-motivation, suicide Like 4 >>191800552 (OP) # Geez Jerry CA27B688-5419-4F00-BD9D-4EC92C0DD9E4.jpg 337 KB JPG >>191800635 # >>191800662 # >>191800878 # >>191802752 # >>191803402 # >>191804046 # >>191805848 #

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Anon hates hats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: +4ARZLZ2 VIETNAM VETERAN VIET My step dad just recently bought one and wears the f------ thing everywhere, he was a desk jockey for the air force stationed in California and never went over seas. Yet every f------ time we come across bootlickers they make sure to say their hellos and thank him for his service. VET THAM 11/06/23(Mon)14:43:51 No.447799446 21 KB JPG How do we stop boomers from wearing these stupid f------ hats. All he f------ did was sort through maintenance request forms and decides who gets what.

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Please clap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 10/30/23 (Mon) 22:35:18 No.908547433 hi my name is derek im 9 years old and i think greentext is really funny so i made one >be me >at your moms house >rizz her up >f--- her in her p----! >all of a sudden skibidi TOILET comes in! >skibidi dop dop dop yes yes i hope you guys liked it i worked really hard and i found this epic pepe with a cool flag behind it and a cool hat 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is cursed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)19:42:06 No.656644705 What the f--- I started a New Vegas playthrough, 1 day later Matthew Perry dies. I started rewatching Zero Punctuation 2 days ago, now it f------ ends. >>656644829 # >>656644875 # >>656644954 # >>656645079 # Anonymous # 11/06/23(Mon)19:45:48 No.656645079 >>656644705 # Don't play Dragon's Dogma or DMC until 2 is out you f------ hellspawn Aspent Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)19:43:52 No.656644875 48 KB JPG 44829 >>656644705 # back demon

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Anon is about to ruin his life | /r/Greentext

>start art college (ik) >meet super cute girl >shy af, doesn't talk >only opens up and mantains conversation while drunk or on a one on one >have talked to her, it went good, but you'd always have to be the one going up to her cuz she's so shy >catch her recently throwing glances at me (could very well not be the only one tho), and she catches me doing the same >have to draw portraits of each other today in class >i give her mine and she gives me hers (only ones in the class to do this exchange btw) what do btards? i think im getting a crush on her and i can't find a way to approach her. also one of the homies also has a crush on her but that's kinda not my problem(?) 37m (11/6 18:09) · 908899971 1 Reply >>908899801 (OP) Never stick your d--- in crazy. Find a well-adjusted woman with social skills instead.

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Who let Sam Raimi write No Way Home? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)08:06:58 No.155418926 EL B 1629853228904.jpg 262 KB JPG >Hmm, interesting. So the Mary Jane of this universe is a negress. What did he mean by this?

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anon buys pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)13:35:44 No.908886451 >be me >come home, roommate is eating my pizza >ask why he is eating my pizza >denies he is eating my pizza >he is holding my pizza >look in box, 3 slices missing >notice he ate my half eaten slice >w-- next time this f----- eats my pizza I will f------ lose it 47 KB PNG

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Perspective is key | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/19/18 (Wed)21:07:59 No.48231146 >be pajeet at convenience store m >middle aged white guy comes in 50 KB.JPG >tell him that i am covering her shift >next day >tell qt that she has a stalker and hes a middle aged white guy >"ughhhh grosss" Sorry whiteboy lol >he asks about the qt3.14 white girl that usually works here : Anonymous 09/21/18(Fri)09:36:26 No.780416197 >be me >just got off work >family is poor so we all share one car ??? >I have to give my daughter rides to her job at the convenience store 5 KB JPG >get to the store >ask some Indian cashier if he knows where she is >he gives me a smug look and says he's covering her shift >I know she's there because I dropped her off this morning >go outside and call her cell >she was in the bathroom the whole time >tfw Anonymous 09/19/18 (Wed)21:14:44 No.48231254 958 KB JPG >be working at convenience store >have this one creepy Indian coworker who always tries to talk to me >one day my dad comes in looking for me >he tells me that my coworker gave him a smug smile and said he was working my shift >I was in the bathroom >be next day >he tries to talk to me again >h-hey femanons y-you did y you know you have a stalker haha tee hee >whisper ughhh gross to my coworker >this Indian starts laughing for some reason >mfw PIC COLLAGE

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Greentext Stories - Anon's brother invites friends | /r/Greentext

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>be child me, autist >big brothers friends come over with pizza and breadsticks NA >all hanging out on the porch >figure id come say hi since i dont socialize much and want a slice of pizza >excited to practice social skills >all of them bullying me, didn't really notice at the time, thought they were joking >how to respond?? >weakly toss half of a breadstick at one as joke and laugh Nooo00000000 Noooo NOOOO0000000 30000 Nodo -00 Ne 0.000 ooooood 24 KB JPG >misses him, bad throw, plops to ground beside him >death stares me >ohhh i fuckt up >chucks empty soda can at me as hard as possible >whacks my face, cuts my eyebrow in half >run off bleeding and crying >hear them laughing >still have scar never again.

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