Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon "asked out" her crush | /r/Greentext

>be me, boymoder tranner in high school >have a crush on a boy in my year >finally decide to girl up and ask him out in a creative and seductive way >decide I'm going to dance for him to the sound of my favorite anime intro >bring portable speaker with music, dress in a really cute cheerleader outfit inspired by my favorite anime and actually girlmode for the first time >perform the dance in front of him, his friends and the rest of the class at recess 481 KB GIF >at the end of the dance, one move involves lifting up my skirt for like 2 seconds, not wearing any underwear and I made sure to shave my bussy so that he would get a glimpse of how delicious it looks. Flash it for 2 seconds >the dance ends with a jump and me smiling and doing the V sign with both hands >I blurt out 'this dance was dedicated to Matthew' (name of the boy I like) >most of the class was silent, some of the guys started laughing Did I f--- up? I've been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and genuinely don't know how to flirt so I thought this would be a good idea

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Would this work asking for a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous et popopoka think: it's okay 288 KB PNG 11/07/23(Tue)07:06:13 No.189654369 >take out massive loan, talking like 150k >use loan money to go to a 4-year overseas >after college is over, don't come home and start working in the overseas country >don't pay the money back if you're overseas your american good boy points score has no use to you. contempt of court for debt-related issues is only a crime in 4 US states. it's unlikely they'd go through the hassle to even try to garnish wages overseas. is this the ideal path for americabros who just want out of the country?

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A not so /g/entleman | /r/Greentext

Anti-Virus Kaspersky W KASPERSKY Kaspersky Anti-Virus ISTILA 134 KB JPG Explain antiviruses to me as if I was a 45 year old housewife. : Anonymous >>70257524 (OP) # May I speak to your husband? No.70257528 >>70257565 # >>70257576 # >>70257725 # >>70258131 # >>70258718 # >>70258766 # >>70259159 # >>70259190 # >>70259302 # >>70259591 # >>70259848 # >>70259986 # >>70260074 # >>70260275 #

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Anon needs to get off 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 204 KB PNG 11/06/23 (Mon)12:13:28 No.189616130 >Normie coworker asked me what I think of the palestine/israel war >Almost said "I hope they both kill each other" This f------ website Almost said "ni myself on the street the other day "too while talking to

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Anon's brother invites friends | /r/Greentext

>be child me, autist >big brothers friends come over with pizza and breadsticks NA >all hanging out on the porch >figure id come say hi since i dont socialize much and want a slice of pizza >excited to practice social skills >all of them bullying me, didn't really notice at the time, thought they were joking >how to respond?? >weakly toss half of a breadstick at one as joke and laugh Nooo00000000 Noooo NOOOO0000000 30000 Nodo -00 Ne 0.000 ooooood 24 KB JPG >misses him, bad throw, plops to ground beside him >death stares me >ohhh i fuckt up >chucks empty soda can at me as hard as possible >whacks my face, cuts my eyebrow in half >run off bleeding and crying >hear them laughing >still have scar never again.

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edgardo, haven't been on here long. dunno if it's a repost or not | /r/Greentext

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Anons epic virginity loss story | /r/Greentext

THIS IS WHERE I WATCHED MY PARENTS DIE RAPHAEL 1 Virginity loss thread, I'll start >Be me at 19 >Asian family moves into my neighborhood >The daughter who's my age is f------ hot and obviously out of my league >Neighborhood has a BBQ, decide to hit it off with her >We're laughing at dumb s--- and have similar interests, it's a f------ dream >Decide to take her on a drive in my big ass van to show her some cool s--- around town >It's getting pretty late, she made a few dirty jokes and somehow got on the topic of her t--- 1.07 MB PNG >It's somehow like a f------ p---- I can't believe how well it's going >She says "well I can show you my t--- if you want" >I tell her i would very much appreciate her offer to that >She says she wants to see my c--- in return >We end up going in the back of my van and get nude >She has a f------ angelic body, her t--- are smaller and she has a really good ass shape >She's stroking my d--- and starts to lick and kiss the tip >I start to question if I'm dreaming but I'm not, it's f------ incredible >She laughs and says "it's a nice d--- even though it's mutilated" making fun of my circumcision >She is deepthroating it and talks about how this is actually the first time she's done anything sexual >She says "it's really f------ hard and I'm really turned on, can I ride you?" >She gets her t--- really close to my face and oh f--- I just came, I don't know how to finish this story now I was just f------ with you all I'm still a virgin sadly.. f--- >Be me right now >Wipe the j--- from my hand >Go to kitchen and make soup

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We live in a judocracy | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_4291.png (16 KB, 180x179) [Reply] >be me, proud American-Israeli >wake up in my house (the one my neighbor bought and thinks belongs to him) >pass him coming out of his dog kennel, kick him in the ribs for making eye contact with me >he curses at me between gasps of pain >this makes me feel unsafe and attacked, so I call the police Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)21:11:18 No.75323203 >they arrive, apologize to me for the delay, and beat the intruder within an inch of his life >feel like he hasn't learned his lesson, so make a note to also restrict his children's water privilege for the week >step out of the house, praise G-d for making me strong enough to handle these trials >check my phone >only 149 out of the top 150 corporations in America have praised Israel today >fall to my knees right there on the driveway >call my uncle Moishe in tears about this >within minutes, the federal government has seized the offending company's assets >CEO has been found dead in his house, 2 bullets to the back of the brain (suicide of course) >slowly dry my tears and walk back inside >it's too hard being a Jew in America to work today People are so mean to us and they don't even know our struggles.

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Anon visits the Chocolate Factory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ROVIECLIP 1.59 MB GIF : Anonymous 33 KB JPG retard 07/28/22(Thu)08:36:53 No.171727073 >Wonka shows a 9-year-old child a shrink ray >Child uses the shrink ray as any child would >Wonka disqualifies him from the competition for this because having fun is bad 07/28/22(Thu)08:49:15 No.171727560 >>171727073 (OP) # >go on tour >contract of the tour says you're not supposed to touch anything >touch thing >WHATTHEFUCK DINDU NUFFIN >>171727634 # >>171738516 # >>171738926 # >>171739374 # >>171743538 # >>171748204 # 07/28/22(Thu)08:51:00 No.171727634 : Anonymous >>171727560 # >Make 9 year old sign extremely long contract with extremely tiny wording >Expect him to listen to it >>171727854 # >>171728444 # >>171739299 # >>171744760 # >>171752921 # 07/28/22(Thu)08:56:23 No.171727854 : Anonymous >>171727634 # Wonka specifically told him not to use the wonka vision. As a 9 year old on a factory tour I would not have done something the owner of the factory explicitly told me not to do. >>171728032 # >>171730563 # >>171731190 # 07/28/22(Thu)09:01:41 No.171728032 : Anonymous >>171727854 # I would have, you sound like you were a boring kid, why not play with it? >>171728588 # >>171728768 # >>171730420 # >>171737889 # >>171739174 # >>171744473 # >>171744785 # >>171745266 # : Anonymous How do you defeat wonka? 07/28/22(Thu)09:04:21 No.171728122 >>171728144 # >>171731279 # >>171733658 # >>171751052 #

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Seinfeld is timeless | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)14:33:52 No.19180055 There's no way that moving in with your parents, is a sign that your life is right on track. Seinfeld.S05E02.The.Puffy.Shirt.720p.HULU.WEBRip.AAC2.0.H.264- NTb-mpv-shot0001.jpg 343 KB JPG Oof, Seinfeld didn't age well. 11/06/23(Mon)14:35:58 No.19180061 "The thing I don't understand about the suicide person is the people who try to commit suicide, for some reason they don't die, and that's it. They stop trying. Why don't they just keep trying? What's changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact. it's worse, because now they've found out here's one more thing you stink at. And that's why these people don't succeed in life to begin with. They give up too easy. I say, pills don't work? Try a rope. Car won't start in the garage? Get a tune- up. There's nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you've set for yourself. Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage Tags: comedy, humour, inspirational, mental-illness, self-motivation, suicide Like 4 >>191800552 (OP) # Geez Jerry CA27B688-5419-4F00-BD9D-4EC92C0DD9E4.jpg 337 KB JPG >>191800635 # >>191800662 # >>191800878 # >>191802752 # >>191803402 # >>191804046 # >>191805848 #

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Anon hates hats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: +4ARZLZ2 VIETNAM VETERAN VIET My step dad just recently bought one and wears the f------ thing everywhere, he was a desk jockey for the air force stationed in California and never went over seas. Yet every f------ time we come across bootlickers they make sure to say their hellos and thank him for his service. VET THAM 11/06/23(Mon)14:43:51 No.447799446 21 KB JPG How do we stop boomers from wearing these stupid f------ hats. All he f------ did was sort through maintenance request forms and decides who gets what.

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Please clap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 10/30/23 (Mon) 22:35:18 No.908547433 hi my name is derek im 9 years old and i think greentext is really funny so i made one >be me >at your moms house >rizz her up >f--- her in her p----! >all of a sudden skibidi TOILET comes in! >skibidi dop dop dop yes yes i hope you guys liked it i worked really hard and i found this epic pepe with a cool flag behind it and a cool hat 2 Replies View Thread

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