Anon attempts to set his friends up | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 1669348161633733.png (245 KB, 500x498) my coworker is retarded Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)16:54:57 No.74575780 >>74575802 >>74575819 >>74575790 >set up coworker with female friend >they hit it off at party >couple days later he is bummed out, she rejected him "for no reason" >comfort him, female This isn't weed Rick friend shows me the messages he has been sending her after meeting only once >"oh god mommy i want to be your little f-----" >"i know you want a good night of hard f------" (unprompted) >"alright, i leave in utter humilliation..." >"i'm kind of retarded honestly, i love jacking off" what the f--- man Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)16:56:04 No.74575790 >>74575780 (OP) # Yea, that's just... whoa. Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)16:57:45 No.74575802 >>74575780 (OP) # bro apologized to your female friend and slap the coworker into reality Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)17:00:43 No.74575819 >>74575780 (OP) # This is why I don't try to set my autistic male friends up with my normal female friends.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Backstory of a serial killer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I HATE women estar WHEE 101 KB PNG 01/24/22(Mon) 08:36:22 No.67128365 4 years ago my dad (DNA) tested me and my sister because he found out mom cheated on him. My dad was the most loving and perfect, i was his favorite, he always praised me and called me his pride. I was happy and i had a nice life. When the results came over it said that neither me or my sister were his biological kids. He left our home shortly after and i stopped seeing him for years. past september he came over to talk to my mom about legal issues he wants me and my sister to stop using his lastname, he even called me a "bastard" and "the son a w----" my loving dad told me those words because of what my mom did. She only laughed like a psyco. I f------ HATE women, yeah call me an incel f--- you, i hate women, i dont care about your opinion, my hatred is eternal. Women are monsters, f--- your feminism, stupid holes arent human

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Anon becomes gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:03:10 No.792689080 Got back from weird Valentine's date. 93 KB JPG >be me. 5'4" 103lb straight guy >forever alone in "friendzone" because of my size >6'4" bear at work says he'll take me out for dinner because he can tell I'm down. >fast forward end of night I'm sucking his d--- and he's telling me how hot I am >Never in life been told I'm hot F--- it. I guess I'm gay now.

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Anon tries Tinder | /r/Greentext

File: poster,504x498,f8f8f8-pad(...).jpg (35 KB, 600x600) Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)09:54:34 No.905292140 >be me >29 year old virgin >download tinder again >post pics that make me look the absolute best >swipe right on most profiles >don't ever get any matches >finally get a match >its some girl from a town over >she is pretty plain looking but I like her style >talk on tinder a bit >she likes cooking and the same hockey team as me >get her snapchat >chat with her for a few days >not all the time, but still chat quite a bit with her >have phone call conversations with her >taking it slow beause I am an anxious virgin >she starts sending me selfies randomly >want to send one back but don't have confidence >eventually she sends a selfie of her laying in bed about to go to sleep >take a snap of me lying in bed smiling captioned 'good night' >she opens it but doesn't respond >wake up the next morning and she has me blocked I know I am ugly, but honestly she wasn't the prettiest looking girl out there even though I would have never told her that.

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Femanon meets a guy on 4chan | /r/Greentext

File: 1665438465752798.jpg (497 KB, 3409x2281) who lives near me >We flirt on discord/exchange nudes >End up meeting him irl >Lose my virginity to him >Meet up a few times more Moids have no souls Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)13:17:17 No.74574496 >>74574522 >>74574533 >>74574542 >>74574562 >>74574600 >>74574634 >>74574662 >>74574852 >>74574860 >>74574873 >meet cute guy on /soc/ >>74574502 >He ghost me leaving me with extreme depression >Start smoking pot everyday again lose job think about killing my self daily >few months later my cousin sees pictures of my face on tinder >They are pics of me that I only sent to him >He literally just dated me to e w---- and now he's probably selling my nudes right now I genuinely want to murder suicide him so bad.

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Truly hits different | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 145 KB JPG 04/29/22 (Fri) 17:32:59 No.877174970 >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more meat than usual >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,, and ,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the ,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people

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Anon spends his last day at work | /r/Greentext

File: 1000007201.jpg (32 KB, 381x410) Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)14:22:33 No.905298764 >>905298822 whats your favorite "last day at work burning bridge" story? >Be my friend >Last day of an almost 10 year career of being a FedEx dispatcher >Management are a bunch of abusive c---- >Friend lands a better job at UPS >*Last day arrives >Friend dispatches 6 different tractor trailer drivers to go to the wrong FedEx buildings in the wrong states. >All 6 drivers laughed because they knew what he was doing cause they hated working their aswell >"Just following orders lol" >Trailers leave >Friend quits Wish I knew the story of what happened next, but I don't. still funny.

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Anon admires the beautiful Eclipse........ | /r/Greentext

>be at party >9/10 checking me out >dance with her >stare in eyes >shes got moon earrings >F--- JUST REMEMBERED >run out of party >drive home >spend whole night checking out lunar eclipse >no regrets

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Femanon discovers their kink | /r/Greentext

File: download.jpg (18 KB, 197x256) Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)14:05:39 No.74574750 >>74574765 >>74574767 >>74574785 >22 yo fembot >always knew I was into weird kink s--- ever since I was a kid >thought i was only into bondage >discover recently I'm into abdl >not into age regression, think it's creepy, but the idea of being forced to wear a diaper while tied up turns me on >not into the idea of actually using it, it just looks humiliating and comfy >start buying p--- from fetish websites made just for that >join abdl centric discords >never actually wear diapers >have a bf who's also kinky but know he would never be okay with that sort of thing if I told him >the temptation to buy them and wear them in secret keeps coming back >really wanna but also feel like a gross degenerate I feel really ashamed and gross but should I? I know I'm not normal but I'm not hurting anyone am I?

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Anon plays Baldur’s Gate 3. | /r/Greentext

>>649083023 # >>649083097 # >walking around the city >oh, what lovely weather, lets stargaze! >CAN YOU SUCK MY C---? >uhh... no. 83 KB JPG >keep walking >oh look, a potion shop! >I WANNA F--- YOU IN THE ASS >no! stop it! let me walk in peace! or lets talk about our adventure! >I WANT TO GOBBLE YOUR C-- AND HAVE AND O--- this is how playing BG3 feels like.

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Anon played soccer as a kid | /r/Greentext

File: slutty c---- nude female (...).jpg (737 KB, 1909x891) Experiences that caused you to hate women Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)10:58:00 No.74573751 >>74573772 >>74573778 >Be me, manlet >Played soccer as a kid in boys U/10s division >After I finished my early morning game had to hang around for a few hours because parents were coaches for other teams >Girls teams start playing >My club's girl team is getting hammered >Someone notices me on the side line >Girl's team coach: "Hey kid, would be able to go in an help us out?" >Me: "Um no, theyre girls" >Coach: "Come on dude it doesn't matter, you're as big as they are" >Me: "NO!" >Crowd: "GO ON JUST GO OUT THERE! COME ONNNN!!!!! DO IT!!!!!!!" >Get gaslit on by all the parents, too scared to stand my ground at 10 years old >Girls on opposing team start sniggering and whispering to each other about me >Whistle blows >Go for the ball and get elbowed in the face by by big fat chick >Everyone laughs >Spend entire game basically carrying my team because they're useless c---- >Constantly getting slide tackled, pushed over etc >Ref just laughs and does nothing >Girls on my team also start laughing at me >chase ball towards goal, get around 3 girls, come up to last defender and shoulder charge her making her eat s--- >Score >*WHISTLE* >Audible "WOOH!" erupts from both sides >All the girls on opposing team attack me, punching, kicking, scratching >Ref: "OI! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" and red cards me >Me, covered in scratches and bruises, jersey torn: "Theyve been hitting me and tackling me since I came on!!!" >Ref: "I DON'T CARE, YOU DON'T HIT GIRLS! GET OFF THE FIELD! GO!!" >Crowd boos as I walk off >One karen yells "Feel good about yourself little man!?" F--- women. Pic unrelated

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Anon converses with the replicant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 140 KB PNG >be me >19 03/20/23(Mon)20:29:04 No.72649367 >watch the news >see story about dentist who killed his wife >later mom asks me if i watched the news >tell her i did >asks me if i saw the story about the dentist who killed his wife >tell her i did >asks me "what do you think happened" excuse me? >respond with "i think he killed his wife" >asks me "what do you think he should've done" >respond with "i think he shouldn't have killed her" >she responds with "yeah" >later she comes into my room and tells me "it's good to watch the news so that you can have an opinion on the news" am i autistic? is she autistic? is this normal human conversation? i think i hate talking now

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Anon is retarded. | /r/Greentext

AMAZON INVINCIBLE 2.71 MB PNG : Anonymous Anon, I... >Character is called Invincible >You can clearly see him 08/25/23(Fri)16:24:20 No.189153091

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