Anon gets transferred to work in the US | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (ID: LIEAFR+n) Working in America 181 KB JPG 08/24/23(Thu)14:16:02 No.5592864 Irish lad here. I fell for the meme and transferred to one of the USA offices of my company. What the f--- is this s---? >Be engineer >Zero safety standards at plant sites >People wearing T shirts and jeans with zero PPE in waste storage areas >"I had to buy my own PPE if I wanted any" - operator >USA boomers are the absolute worst managers I have met in my life >Zero direction provided >All are short, morbidly obese, balding, and constantly angry >Boomer threw a tantrum yesterday and threw his books and paperwork onto the floor and marched out of the office. Would never see someone behave so childish in an Irish office. >Wants you to do something but will never give you clear directions. No emails. Always verbal so they can't be blamed for not being clear. How the f--- do yanks function like this? This isn't even some small operation. It is a Fortune 500 company's commercial manufacturing plant. This is insane. The stress it causes is f----- simply due to the complete lack of direction. I can see why you all hate working so much. This is not normal.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon likes strong reporters | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)18:31:53 No.189124066 clark_kent.jpg 56 KB JPG >Kent, get your incredibly muscular 350 lb. nerdy ass in my office >We need to run a story about Superman for our newspaper >We suspect he may have a secret identity >Since you have the exact same hairstyle and facial structure as Superman I want you to do the article >Besides, you seem to know him better than anyone >Take the company car, just try not to accidentally rip the door off its hinges this time >It might be a good idea to have you out of the office for awhile anyway >You keep zoning out and staring at the door to the women's restroom >Oh before you go, can you heat up my coffee with your laser beam eyes real quick? >Thanks, Clark

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Finally, Anon is happy.., | /r/Greentext

46m (8/25 2:09) 904916508 - 20 Re - 0 Img JPG 4KB (233 × 216) · download (4).jpg 9 Replies My groomer is in jail, good vibes >be me, 21F >be a dumbass and get groomed when 14 by a 20 year old dude >cut all contact with him after realizing how toxic he is >he keeps trying to add me on other accounts for over a year afterwards >Google his name to keep tabs and make sure he's staying away from me >he's currently in jail for possession of CP >read the court case >police found videos of 3-7 year old boys and girls getting r---- on his phone >he's still pleading not guilty and with a public defender ; LMAO he's so f-----. Or at least, he probably will be by the other inmates once they find out what he did. L p--- bozo

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femanon thinks everyone around her is disgusting | /r/Greentext

File: img.png (99 KB, 268x388) 272 im so tired Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)15:57:43 No.904924183 >be me >14 year old femanon >mom was abusive and killed herself when i was 4 (no questions please >dad and stepmom were kinda just meh at best, needed to get away >get into some sort of military program >be in it for most of my life, changed me for the better >get shipped off to japan >she wants nothing to do with him, and he embarrasses her >begin immediatly getting sidelined by my crush and his ex for the other kid >kinda cute tho >wake up >feels.png >red ocean, some tposing... things in the distance >the stacy friend of the kid is in the f------ sky >fuckfuckfuck >meet some f-- and his friends >have a hard crush for my guardian during the program >his ex is here >ohfuckohfuckohfuck >disgusting are all men like this guys? >split in half, essentially dead >phew >guy begins strangling me >probably some turbovirgin, i'll give him a sympathy touch >he cries on me

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Anon have sexy time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/08/20(Sun)00:10:49 >oneitis looks exactly like pic related but brunette >always saw her as beautiful >find pic related >ask anons what they think >get made fun of >girl gets called a pig faced trailer trash slut >anons make fun of her make up, hair, and bad skin Daddy 71 KB JPG No.60816531 >realize that my oneitis is not really out of my league if anons are right >gather up the courage to ask her out on date >says yes >at the end of the date hugs me >says I should hit her up whenever I wanna go out because she's always bored at home >today we go on our 2nd date >we get tipsy on wine >end up kissing in my car Thanks, robots.

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Anon pretends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)16:27:26 No.74497490 >want to make friends >start acting like a normie >start dressing like one >quit my bad habits >be more hygenic >build up (false) confidence >go out and talk to new people >they all give you that "look" >no one wants to be your friend >they're cold and callous towards you >no matter how hard you try >you will always be an outsider >you can LARP as a normie all you want >but you never will be one >you will be alienated from society >absolutely nothing I can do to rectify this It's just so over 106 KB JPG

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Why slug more slug. | /r/Greentext

File: 1268793899267.jpg -(25577 B, 350x255) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>> Martin Cettingville Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:44:59 EST ID:qgkEo3Tq No.1008606A Report why slug more slug 1- Slug is so much light than snail who have shell to copy slug technology. 2- The snail use the shell beacause is a f------ faget. 3-snail got crush so easy, and you can give the slug to ur dog chew and it II still eat lettuce. 4- shell is MORE heavy than no shell. 5- some slug have internal shell because more evolved 6- Your cousin will not want to stay on your house to play slug. 7- If you trow the slug on the wall, the wall will go up. 8- Trow both on water and watch which will come up first. 9-slug at mate will make a slimecord. The snail will show dribble. 10- All slug are hermaphrodite. Snail is too but because faget 11- slug is the name of a bullet. Snail means it is slow. 12- Slug will eat carrion, slug dont give a f--- 13- slug didn't needed an upgrade. Slug is perfect James Cruzzlemot Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:50:06 EST ID:fill1UIQ No.1008626 maybe the best thing i have ever read A

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Anon's Persecution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >25yo kv 5'6 neet >dropped out of high school at 16 >chilling in my room doing nothing >parents yelling at me for no reason and threatening me to call the cops why can't they just give up? i barely talk to them, i want nothing to do with them, it's not my fault they made me ugly, why can't they just chill? i got a 31 year old sister, she has a chad bf, they may have grandchildren one day, who knows 286 KB PNG 06/29/23(Thu)12:40:57 No.73843525 >>73843728 # : Anonymous call the cops for what, were you doing something illegal 06/29/23(Thu)12:46:36 No.73843577 >>73843728 # Anonymous >>73843525 (OP) # >why can't they just give up? i barely talk to them, i want nothing to do with them Then why do you live in their house? 06/29/23(Thu)12:49:34 No.73843607

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https://www.reddit.com/user/FrostFollower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >a------ hairy since 12 >can't remember time when wiping easy >always wipe 50 times 10/27/20(Tue)23:19:59 No.838741229 >like cleaning muddy fishing net with tp >usually try to s--- just before shower >trimming pubes one day >going at gooch >go back farther >f--- it >trim asscrack >f--- it halfway there >shave crack and hole >takes like an hour >dont want to be cutting up my s------- >next day >s--- >wipe >wipe again >paper clean looking >w-- >did i miss the hole? >nope >just done wiping WHY THE F--- ISN'T THIS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL?

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Anon's trouble | /r/Greentext

28m (8/24 22:08) -904904624 1 Re-0 Img PNG 59KB (600 × 598) monkas-emote.png Am I gay now? >be me >fap to some giant t------ like any normal guy would >hold the c-- so I can cleanly release in the toilet >nice and clean.jpg >about to flush >urge to s--- >oh well, s--- since I'm in front of the toilet >wipe >c-- and s--- together on the paper am I gay now? ●●●

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Anon wishes he has appreciated his past life more | /r/Greentext

bg,181818-1al,750x,075 ---).Jpg (74 My miserable existence Anonymous 08/23/23(Wed)22:56:37 No.74488802 [Reply] >be me in 2020 >16 year old kissless virgin >extremely unhappy with my life despite it being fairly decent from other points of view >discover I have phimosis (tight foreskin) >doctor says a circumcision is mandatory >it goes sideways and he ends up cutting into my urethra and somehow splits my d--- in half >he gets fired and my parents sue him for malpractice >it takes 3 years of additional surgeries from other doctors to fix the botched surgery >penis is restored but looks horrible due to scarring from all the procedures >fast-forward to 2023 >now 19 years old and obviously still a kissless virgin >developed anxiety and depression, became introverted and lost the friendships I once had >smoke cigarettes and drink liquor to numb the pain >contemplate over how good my life was back then and wonder why I didn't appreciate it more I guess it was the universe's way of punishing me for whining like a little bitch despite not having any real problems

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Anon writes a romance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1128 2/06/22(Sun)23:57:14 No.16965346 683A8509-560F-4318-84A2-50F761857668.jpg 68 KB JPG D >Writing workshop assignment to try out hand at romance >my paired critiquing partner for that day in class is a woman >after she reads over my work, the first thing she says to me is "You're a virgin, aren't you?"

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Anon establishes the autism of enders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 86 KB JPG 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic?

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