Anon fails to comprehend Buddha | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 1669573755519485.jpg (9 KB, 250x187) ■ Anonymous 08/17/23(Thu)14:51:13 No.35630012 >"Hey, uhh, Buddha, what do you want on your pizza?" >"If you have to ask... then you don't know." >>35630111 >>35630146 >>35630410 >>35630830 >>35630874 >>35631206 >>35631567 >>35634529 >>35638233 >>35638355 >Buddha then shot a random guy in the face, just shot him in the f------ face and killed him, he's dead now, h-------- >The student was enlightened instantly Why are all buddhist stories like this? Are you supposed to actually be getting something from this or are they just trying to f--- with white people? Anonymous 08/17/23(Thu)14:53:20 No.35630037 ► Eastern abrahamist psyop Anonymous 08/17/23(Thu)14:59:40 No.35630111 ► >>35630191 >>35630012 (OP) >make up imaginary story >get angry at it try again

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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anon hates women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/23(Fri)19:01:28 No.74430435 imagine just living a life being this pretty every time i open any social media i just get plastered by self posts of attractive young women and all i can think of is how much i wish i could be the pretty one for once, even if just a day i cant take this s--- anymore i already have the rope ready but this bitch on my tt fyp page is my final push hope my next life favours me much more than being an ugly incel failure 1.49 MB PNG

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Anon needs therapy and maybe a break from the rick and morty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/23(Fri)04:18:59 No.29592522 What people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle. Rise above. Focus on science. c6d54e42583c135c537011f5fd33ac6aa5ff5bd9_hq.jpg 39 KB JPG Most incels should realize their desire for copullation stems from simple biological processes, and that there are much more important things to do. I'm a virgin incel and I started investing myself completely in programming, it's so much more fulfilling than trying to appeal to people. Love isn't real.

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Anon likes penguins. | /r/Greentext

5h (8/17 21:31) 4595123 3 Re. 1 Img JPG 50KB (565 × 484). 09bf24cd9f1eeedd0a3b83fb9438e39f.jpg 1 Reply Penguins are awesome >adults look like they wear tuxedos. chicks are super cute >both parents take care of the chick, risk their lives and travel great distances just to feed them >when parents arent around chicks hang out in the colony nursery >survive in the harshest environment on the planet by huddling with others I love penguins 5h (8/17 21:34). 4595125 2 Replies >>4595123 (OP) you forgot >s--- so excessively that the snow around your colony melts >s--- all over each other as well

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Better times. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB PNG 8/18/2023, 8:26:17 AM No.38208544 > Be me > In middle school in 2014 > Have the same teacher for the last two periods > He is cool and lets us play on the computers on fridays > Me and my friends downloaded Roblox onto the school computeres > Have LAN parties on Roblox every friday playing disaster survival > goodtimes.jpg > Am an adult now with a job and bills to pay > Decide to log in to Roblox and see my old account > All my old friends have been offline for 8+ years > Take me back

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Anon remembers the Silly Bandz trend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 457 KB JPEG 8/18/2023, 7:58:46 AM Silly bandz were crazier than people remember No.66475411 > be me > Suburban elementery school student in second grade > Late 2000s > Everyone was into silly bands > Kids were trading silly bands during lunch and recess and trading them for snacks and stuff > School notices and decides they are a distraction and decide to ban them on campus > nobodycares.jpg > Kids keep trading them > Teachers and yard duties keep busting kids with them and sending them to the office > Kids take the operation underground > Fully fledged gangs with their own turf set up during Lunch and Recess > Fights break out over who can sell them where > Gang wars in elementery school > Kids being suspended over fighting over Silly Bandz > Teachers and Staff can't keep up with the amount of kids who have Silly Bandz > Principle's office fills up with kids who got caught with them > Staff stop trying to enforce the ban > School decides to make their own Silly Bandz > They flood the market > Trend dies.

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Anon flipped a coin | /r/Greentext

>be me >have a girlfriend >want a threesome with another girl >my girlfriend's down for it but we only manage to find a couple (guy and girl) after months of searching >the other guy suggests we do it separately like two threesomes >I'm pretty happy with it, don't want to touch balls >we flip a coin, the other guy goes first >they go at it, I get super horny >when they're done the other girl says she's not feeling well and that she has to go home >they go home, they live in another city and won't be back for months I got cucked by a coin toss and I'm p----- off at my girl even though she asked me twice beforehand if I'm okay with it (she enjoyed it a bit too much I think). How do I deal with this? Ideally by finding another girl for a threesome but it was hard enough finding an attractive couple.

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Anon is religious | /r/Greentext

File: 163919748294718.jpg (25 KB, 399x400) I was born into a gay f------ society Anonymous (ID: DZUlrOok) 08/17/23(Thu)17:06:41 No.438284733 [Reply]► >>438296736 >be born into an average Muslim chuddy s------- >go to elementary school >male only >middle school:male only >high-school:male only >parties: male only >gyms: male only >any form of social gatherings: male only >woman = haram and forbidden By the time you to university it doesn't even matter anymore because you are already disgusted and the faggy society around you. This is a reminder that all the woman hating chudcels are just extreme f------ and this is the type of societies they advocate for. +33 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous (ID: bHGqWYwP) 08/17/23(Thu)19:21:00 No.438296736 ►

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don't install /g/entoo | /r/Greentext

File: badass-skeleton.gif (2.46 MB, 512x512) 1/1/ Anonymous 08/17/23(Thu)06:38:45 No.95426168 >Be me several years ago >Use a Windows 7 'puter >Ask my dad to help me install /g/entoo >He helps me install Ubuntu instead >Have a gay ol' time using Ubuntu for many years to come >Download programs and use them the way you would with a computer btw f--- you guys for trying to get people to install /g/entoo

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Anon and his gf order pizza | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/17/23(Thu)16:25:46 No.74417788 [Reply] ► >>74417928 >>74417953 > Be 25yo with 21yo gf, ostensibly liberal > We're both thin but used to be fat (important later) > Go to vegan pizzaria because gf is vegan > Since we only eat out a few times a year, we order three pizzas, two falafel bowls, bread with artichoke dip and cheesecake > We split and eat the whole thing, drawing eyes from all the other table > Waitress comes over with check and says "You're so thin, where did you put all that food? > MFW I said I was "trans fat" and everyone arround us looks p----- Showing all replies. ☐n----- anus 08/17/23(Thu)16:29:50 No.74417822 keep me in your screenshot

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apeanon experiences the monkey and the banana incident | /r/Greentext

apeanon 08/18/23(Fri)02:42:05 No.904533121 >be me >ape anon >born into captivity, raised by uncaring scientists >forced to do random experiments in the name of treats 211 KB PNG >this one time they brought me into a white room, with a mirror >in it there was a banana and it was hung via a rope >i didnt understand >then the banana started movingn >up and down up and down >then the banana started having a green dot on it >figured why not, tried to work a way to get to the banana, was hungry anyway >after boucing around the room for a while i managed to get to the banana >ate it, then the scientists took me out of the room and back to my cage >thought about why those faggoty scientists were doing for half a second before going back to apemaxxing >apemaxxed for three days >musta really annoyed some of these scientists as they took me outta my cage again >they injected me with something this time >they took me back into the room with the rope and banana >but this time, the way the rope was hung looked different, more of a swirly knot on the end where the banana was >waited for a while, nothing happened >decided i was hungry and there was nothing better to do >apemaxxed in the room for a while, flung my s--- around, and then took a nap >woke up and i was still in the room >hungry >decided to go get the banana, and ate it >after i finished eating it a gas flooded the room and i passed out >when i came to i was in my cage again >apemaxxing time >decided to flash my ass at the lady across the row >i screamed some obscenitys and she screamed some back >love at first sight >i flung my s--- at her, and she flung some at me >life was good 08/18/23(Fri)02:42:31 No.904533134 apeanon >went to bed that night feeling refreshed >woke up next day and i was back in the rope and banana room >nothings different >decide to apemaxx >went full ape for at least the whole day >went to sleep >woke up again, banana still there, room was cleaned from my apemaxxing from the day before however >see the rope again, and just stare at it >i stare and think >why am i doing this i think >this is the third time ive done this >are they going to have me do this over and over again >notice that i can loosen the knot and it will tighten if something was on it >put it around my neck and jump off >i sleep

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anon is a procrastinator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 08/18/23(Fri)01:33:27 No.74422910 >spent an entire 3 weeks absolutely dreading a task that I would be required to perform >finally do it >it took less than 20 minutes and wasn't even that hard tips for how to minimize imaginary suffering?

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anon gets a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous mys 8 KB JPG 08/18/23(Fri)00:42:54 No.74422424 >be me >friend got a nice job at a 4 star hotel >think its a good idea to work with him so i just get a quick better job >he gives in my cv and got a position as an attendant >mfw >i'm 5,5, scared of people and cry whenever people scream I'm f----- ain't i?

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