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File: pepe-listening-to-music.gif (53 KB, 354x286) Anonymous 08/03/23 (Thu) 18:14:47 No.117641874 >be me >sad >put on my headphones >"YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH" >"I HATE JIMMY PAGE" >"YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH" >"KICK US F------ OFF THE STAGE" >not sad anymore

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon has to fart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago >be me >at work 788931223 >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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He ShOuLd StarT thrOwInG theM bacK........ | /r/Greentext

143 KB PNG what do i do >in my room >dad yelling at me because abusive >calls me a retard >autism kicks in > "takes one to know one" he's throwing bottles at me now

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Wholesome Love From Anon | /r/Greentext

>held bf in bed last night >"I like when you hold me" >tfw he started crying >tfw rubbing his back and kissing his hair while he sobs into my chest >tfw he kept saying sorry and I had to tell him over and over that it was ok >tfw he asked me not to leave him 326 KB PNG >tfw never leaving him Was a weird experience, never had a man cry in my arms before All I felt was love and a need to protect him

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Anon is circumcised | /r/Greentext

V Anonymous 07/01/21 (Thu)07:48:42 No.153062776 >>153065754>>153066119 2ec.png (208 KB, 327x316) google yandex igdb wait >American is born >has to give his "tip" to the doctor

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Anon gets visited by Santa | /r/Greentext

08/04/23(Fri)10:38:03 No.903774444 >be me, 8 years old >it's Christmas Eve and I'm excited and preparing to stay up late to see Santa Claus >sometime around midnight, I hear jingle bells and rush out of bed to get a glimpse of Santa >while Santa is placing my gifts by the tree, the window next to him shatters as a dark figure rushes into the house with a sledge hammer and slams it into Santa's head : Anonymous 19 KB GIF >he literally caves Santa's head in so hard his eyeball pops out. >hearing all the commotion, my dad rushes down from his bedroom, grabs a knife and starts wrestling the man >during the scuffle my dad somehow disembowels the guy and I watch as my dad finally puts him down while his intestines fall out >a few days later my dad sits me down and tells me that the attacker was some local meth head who went on a drug induced rampage and that "Santa" was really my grandpa who had visited us earlier in the day >mfw I find out Santa Claus isn't real

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Anon comments on UFO skeptics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/23(Fri)07:59:39 No.35423573 >>35423131 (OP) # >aliens with wicked advanced technology, potentially millions of years ahead of our own >"ok" >so they can do things beyond our 5 KB JPG understanding >"aww hell nah that's f------ stupid and unrealistic why would they be able to do s--- like that it's dumb as f---"

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Anon has a grandfather. | /r/Greentext

>84 year old grandfather tells me that he's joined a message board devoted to discussing cars >based on the way he speaks, he clearly had no idea what a message board was until very recently 117 KB JPG >he shows me some of his post history >he enjoys posting stupid, obviously false and ridiculous information just to see how people reply >he doesn't know the terms shitposting or trolling, so he says "I'm jerkin' their chains!" and scrolls down, busting a gut with laughter as he reads off some of the replies An 84 year old man is an online troll. I am genuinely ashamed to be his grandson.

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Even fembots don't want robots | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 139 KB JPG 08/04/23(Fri)01:46:18 No.74261153 : Anonymous >be lonely fembot and decide to try to make friends again in r9k >try to make friends with a couple of anons, not much in commun except with >a few weeks pass by and he randomly confesses to me one day >deny him, i like him but not that much to be in a relationship >Stop talking to him for a few days, he's been rejected before so he'll be fine 12 KB JPG one >we get along pretty easily and instantly click and talk with eachother everyday and ask eachother if we're doing fine >He hasn't messaged me in weeks now >Start to miss him so try to talk to him again and say hi >"If we can't be a couple then I can't really be near you anymore" So men dont care for actual friendships? FFS this is why I stopped making friends and be by myself I dont want a relationship idc im too autistic for girls to be my friend and my male "friends" just wanted to f--- me 08/04/23(Fri)01:47:48 No.74261168 jesus the same thing literally happened to me i dont give a f--- about him anymore because he was pathetic and retarded but he literally blocked me because i didnt want to date him

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anon loves his mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous baby pepe 79 KB PNG comfy saturday thread. i'll start >be me >mom is going out of town for weekend >i get off work at 4 yesterday >mom texts me >"hey anon! i went shopping for you. There's a $20 on the table and I also got pop tarts and chocolate milk for you. I'll be home sunday night. I love you sweetie." >i come home and sleep all night >wake up, 6:37 >chocolate chip pop tarts in cabinet >single gallon of chocolate milk No.807925714 >microwave pop tarts >pour choccy milk >poptarts are warm >milk is sweet >watch the sunrise w/ chocolatey breakfast in hand >play vidya the rest of the day >wake up today >repeat how's your weekend going anon? t-thank you mom. i love you

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anon meets his nemesis in a long flight. | /r/Greentext

07/30/23(Sun)05:36:10 No.2515332 : Anonymous >have the window seat on 13 hour flight >middle aged mainland chinese dude sits in the middle seat. >he keeps on reaching past me and fiddling with the window, taking pictures, opening and closing it >lights off, time to sleep. >he keeps leaning and spreading over into my seat. >fortunately i am a master negotiator. >i ask him in chinese if he wants to trade seats since he likes the window so much. >trade success,my woes are over. >just kidding >dude still keeps stretching into my seat, literally every time he sleeps although he could lean on the window side. >snores like a wood chipper >literally have to shove his arms back into his seat so i don't get molested >time to write customs forms >hah get f----- >filipino lady in the aisle seat is literally the friendliest lady ever, offers him a pen, and then asks me to help him translate since he literally can't read the customs form >f--- i can't pretend i don't know chinese >end up having to help the guy through his forms and repeat everything multiple times >ok, it can't get worse right >guy starts acting overly familiar because he thinks i'm chinese. i'm not... >he starts coughing, coughs in my direction, doesn't even cover his mouth, burps in my direction, probably even farts in my direction. >near the end of the flight he pulls out his shaving kit and literally starts shaving right there, getting stubble everywhere >opens the window one last time. f--- the poors i'm getting business class next time on long flights

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Mischievous dog tries to scare owner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 325 KB PNG 05/11/22(Wed)03:27:08 No.66716507 >>66716346 # >I wanted to turn my life around after peaking my weight at 180kg >went to the local gym paid for the special weight lose program >around 520$ per month for 3- months >got told to go to the aerobics class >went there and a trainer came in and started telling us what to do as warm ups >walking, stretching and such >being a fat f--- I couldn't even last 3min before sitting a side fighting for air >they start knee raising >gymbro was watching from the side >he came to me and asked when did I join >told him that i just did >told me to pick my things up and follow him >told me that i wouldn't last and would drop out soon or injure myself trying >told me that I should start by just walking outside, no need for a gym now bc any activity would give me results at my weight >went down to the manger's office and took my card >he went in for a while and came back with cash >signed some papers >went outside the gym and gave me his phone number >told me to lose as much weight i can by walking and doing basic workouts >and whenever i feel that i can join back he'll give me a discount >deal It was weird but thanks to him I saved lots of money >>66716649 # >>66718231 #

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Anon admits he was wrong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 231 KB PNG 03/15/20(Sun)13:16:03 No.57171994 >go on reddit >make comment about something I think I'm right about >get proven wrong >admit that I was wrong and thank person who provided a source >get downvoted anyway >this f------ site

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Greentext Stories - Anon has a questionable taste in music | /r/Greentext

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File: pepe-listening-to-music.gif (53 KB, 354x286) Anonymous 08/03/23 (Thu) 18:14:47 No.117641874 >be me >sad >put on my headphones >"YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH" >"I HATE JIMMY PAGE" >"YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH" >"KICK US F------ OFF THE STAGE" >not sad anymore

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