Anon saw Barbie | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 07/26/23(Wed)18:07:20 No.188053693 mn png-clipart-crying-frog-illustration-pepe-the-frog-internet-meme- humour-frog-leaf-animals-thumbnail.png 9 KB PNG >be me >just saw barbie movie >wearing a pink suit >group of zoomers approach >"Did you see Barbie?it good? good?" >"it was kino" >"What?" >repeat myself >"What does that mean?" >mumble that it was good >"Huh?" >runaway through mall crying >hide in bathroom : Anonymous >miss my showing of oppenheimer Why is it so hard bros? 07/26/23(Wed)18:09:45 No.188053761

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon needs to lock his stash up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Help please California EDIBLES. 4 CA 1000mg THC A MIXED FRUIT SATIVA California FIRE 07/27/23(Thu)05:14:12 No.29447107 California FIRE MIXED FRUIT E35F2298-4DD4-4535-BC95-EC771A543567.jpg 353 KB JPG >>29447232 # >be me, 24m >little sister 11f has been rebelling a lot >turns out she snuck into my room and raided my snack drawer TM >snack drawer included 15 100mg edibles >not in an edible package so can't blame her other than being retarded >she ate them all >/f---/ >go up to her room, she's knocked out cold >go on 4ch to make a post. : Anonymous >>29447107 (OP) # Call poison control What in the actual f--- do I do? She's going to be high for f------ days. She's supposed to go to a party (birthday) tonight but obviously that isn't happening. She needs to be sobered up by tomorrow. W-- do I do? In case I lose the thread here is my session 05a12e9a0b57db8009b7150ba278cac351c d75c8efd4950b59f8ebef7374c4b800 : Anonymous Hahahahaha oh f--- 07/27/23(Thu)05:17:54 No.29447126 07/27/23(Thu)05:19:23 No.29447134

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Anon wonders how be racist toward aliens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>35405318 # >call them martians even though they don't come from mars >call them little green man despite them being gray sounds good and offensive 07/26/23(Wed)15:41:18 No.35405403

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Anon pulls a prank....... | /r/Greentext

23 KB JPG >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank >mfw that was the prank

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anon eats at McDonald's | /r/Greentext

Screenshot_20230725-233728.png 368 KB PNG >be me >22 >Go to McDonald's at like 10pm >Order a 20 piece nugget >Open the box >11 nuggets in both boxes totaling to 22 >Look the employee dead in the eyes with a slight grin >After his shift suck the skin off his d--- >Go home >Sit down on computer and watch funny cat vids How was your week anons?

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anon something ghostly is going to happen. | /r/Greentext

146 KB PNG >be me >have sleep paralysis every now and then, pretty rare >wake up, can't move, paralyzed below neck >scared for some reason >see some black, humanoid shape silhoutte in room corner >nothing outstandingly bad, but don't want to deal with it anymore >start jerking off aggresively every time before bed, staring into that corner to assert dominance and show that I don't fear >one night wake up >can't move, heart racing >skinless woman looking thing with dozens of eyes on her face sitting on me, straddling. Has hands with claws like Freddy Kruger knife fingers but on both hands >nearly s--- myself >it whispers >"sleep naked you coward, I'll f--- you so hard you'll never be able to get off to any other human again" >"I'll be waiting, worm" >shut my eyes, praying to Lord to deliver me from this evil >surrounded my bed with salt the next day, no longer try to assert any sort of dominance >get sleep paralysis now more often, same s--- with silhoutte in dark room corner >week ago silhoutte moved to foot of the bed, looks like it stands behind salt line but I'm still getting nervous how f----- am I it's all in my head, just my f----- up imagination, right?

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Anon questions reality itself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous W-- IS REALITY? 98 KB JPG 07/26/23 (Wed)19:44:26 No.74167057 >live on a rock floating in the middle of some endless black space >no matter if we go up or down or to the left or the right its just never ending darkness with some fireballs and other rocks >something called "time" exists and no one knows what it is and why it seems to affect reality and everything in it >"future" and "past" exist and no one knows what it is either and if they even exist >no real proof existence even exists >somehow no one questions it >somehow no one goes insane by it >somehow everyone I tell this thinks I have some sort of psychosis How tf do we exist and how can I stop feeling so weird all the time? My head hurts and my heart races every time I think about it and it drives me insane that there is no answer for this. WHERE TF ARE WE AND HOW IS EVERYTHING EVEN POSSIBLE?

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Anon Has Muscles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/23(Wed)12:45:21 No.71733376 20C69F63-4B9B-4584-A439-4FC9E0877BCF.jpg 977 KB JPG >walk into asian salon for a cut >old lady at the counter >"oh wayoww big musso" feels good to lift

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Nooo you're too smart sir, you need to be stupid and waste your mone | /r/Greentext

782 KB PNG >go to casino >play blackjack >look at cards >see numbers >make good guesses about whether you should hit or stand because of the numbers that everyone can see on the table >"Sir will you please come with me, you're counting cards and you need to leave" How the F--- is this allowed? How the f--- can knowing how to do math in your head not be allowed?

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Anon shares his thoughts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Flevore Yunun UINLADD SAGA 66 KB JPG 07/26/23(Wed)07:42:49 No.188027311 >no shoehorned diversity at all >Respect for the culture and history they're trying to adapt to the page/screen >White people are portrayed either neutrally or positively >Christians are portrayed as good people, kind and gentle with hope and more importantly, just people like you and me >Everyone is just trying to survive in a harsh history no matter their creed >Women are strong but feminine and don't defy history by embracing their roles as mothers, wives and daughters >Above all, all the characters have interesting motivations and are three dimensional rather than a dot point on a California writer's room whiteboard about diversity Tell me, why should I care about the writer's strike again when I have Japan?

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Anon has an encounter with a femboy | /r/Greentext

- File: Killme.png (274 KB, 385x242) sadness drooping upper eyelids sing focus in eyes sight pulling down of p corners Visceral regret after f------ a femboy Anonymous 07/25/23(Tue) 10:13:13 No.74152235 [Reply]► >>74156496 >>74156581 >>74156714 >Early twenties guy >Zero luck with women despite having had multiple short term relationships and sexual encounters >Match with a femboy on a straight dating app >Gut feeling tells me that what I'm doing is disgusting and unnatural if not a crime against nature altogether as I halfheartedly go along with his perverted sexting So lonely and desperate that I end up going to his place a few days later >He's a femboy, but markedly less feminine than he seemed >Korean ESL with godawful unattractive accent and terrible "dirty talk" >Already began dissociating the moment I entered, felt like it was too late to back out due to how in shock I was >At the same time felt bad for him, he seemed genuinely as lonely as I was >End up forcing myself to make out with him after he prompts me to, he blows me and gives me a h------ as I rim him >Vividly uncomfortable to the point that I feel like my mind is shutting down to protect itself from the horrific act I'm reluctantly partaking in >Jesus Christ what the f--- am I doing >This goes on for what feels like hours >Manage to c-- from physical stimulation alone, cognitive dissonance prevents me from feeling any sort of arousal or pleasure >He swallows it all the same and seems oblivious to how awful it is for me >We "cuddle" and awkwardly chat while I'm contemplating suicide internally >We start f------ again somehow, make it f------ stop >Finish again on his face >Force myself to fall asleep while the little f------ freak holds me >Wake up 6 hours later >Fresh horror sinks in as I realize over again what happened >Groggily eek out that I have to leave >Do so while feeling both spiritually and mentally dead inside while simultaneously feeling like I've just escaped some kind of demented afterlife reserved only for the most detestable human beings imaginable >This was 4 days ago >I'm feeling worse each day about what happened I've never felt so f------ violated in my entire life.

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Anon had a cruel MoM and loving gay father | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/06/22(Wed)10:16:16 No.68095277 >Be 6 at the time >Spent most of my childhood being abused and neglected by evil mom >One day she got drunk and high and 63 KB JPG locked me in a wardrobe >I was hungry and the loud party music upset me >I cried all night while she f----- random teens and smoked weed >Her a------ boyfriend burned me with a cigar when I wouldn't stop crying >Mom got angry at my crying again so she threw me out in the streets >I was literally a toddler wandering the streets of West Belfast at night >Can't exactly remember what happened but the Police found me >A year later I was adopted by my two gay dads >Best parents ever >Never harmed me in any way >treated me like a king >Provided me the best quality of life >Always supported me >They never treated me differently for being heterosexual

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Anon actually is an autist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous AUTISTIC AUTISM ENPRISTAVER CHILD AREA 06/24/19(Mon)22:40:27 No.8030973 >Be me >born around 2lbs >survive that >pull out my oxygen tube and turn purple >nurse puts it back in 308 KB PNG >almost spawn killed myself >gets autism instead

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