Typical 4chan thread | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous >>73795756 (OP) # >F----- board f----- threads remove the f------ f----- heads f----- likes cuckold seggs f----- should unfaggot and go outside instead f----- gay f----- cringe all f----- needs to do is get rid of f----- fringe if f----- went to f----- hinge f----- could get f----- rimmed f----- isnt just a cuck f------ a f----- and takes it up his f----- butt f----- shouldnt do that f----- should kys f----- says f----- isnt gonna make it but f----- never tried his best f----- isnt should f------ just fat and f----- claims autism has him outgunned but f----- just jerked off simple as that f----- cope f----- seathe it's not over even if they call you steve f----- cries f----- dies its f------ fault he has no life who feels sorry for f----- it isnt I f----- sneeds f----- posts blacked.com fact checked by snopes so f----- tries to kill non f----- hopes because f----- must share his f----- copes f----- has 2 different f----- tropes cuckism and f----- boygirl soap f----- dies with no one to hold him other f----- get emboldened and starts f----- posting keep on sneeding keep on coping f----- cycle remains unbroken 06/25/23(Sun)09:08:17 No.73795761 >pic rel I'm not reading all this

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon chuckles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 59 KB JPG 06/25/23(Sun)10:07:58 No.73796332 >be me in public transport >disabled jew enters same wagon >can't hide the wide grin on my face >pic related >eventually burst out laughing very loudly >everyone is staring at my direction >hear the "tssk" sound from people's lips >old lady says i should be ashamed remember, laughing is illegal among normalfags. save your happiness for when nobody is watching.

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Anon goes to sleep | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17 (Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh I'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. 09/29/17 (Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 : Anonymous >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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Anon overcomes his abusive mother | /r/Greentext

The Love of my Life.png (153 KB, 737x492) google yandex iqdb wait I love you so much. Thank you for making. my life worth living. >9 years old >Friday after school >She gets her tubes tied so she doesn't get pregnant again >She is angry that she has to raise me >She takes it out on me >She hit me a lot when I was growing up >Drank a lot >We were poor because she spent all of her extra money on drinking >Some weekends she'd be gone for days, drinking >Monday I'd come home from school to her passed out on the couch >Storms into my room >Pins me to the bed >Sitting on my bed, playing Halo 3 on an Xbox given to me by her parents >Mother comes home from work "I hate you" "You ruined my life" "I wish you were never born" "You deserve this" "No one will ever love you" "I just wish that you would die" "You're pathetic" >Traps my arms under her legs so I can't fight back >Starts punching me in the face, and ribs >Screaming at me >I'm sobbing the entire time, begging her to stop hitting me >After 10 minutes or so, she wears herself out, and leaves >She gave me a black eye, and knocked out a baby tooth >Didn't see her for a few days >Stumbled in drunk at like 3am on Monday >On Monday she called the school to tell them that I was really sick >I played Safety >I was really shy, and quiet in school >She didn't want people to see my black eye >I missed an entire week of school "sick" until my black eye healed >Sometimes the neighbors would hear screaming, and called the cops on her >Nothing ever came of that Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:33:23 No.66506170 >When I was 11, I started playing football, because I thought it would toughen me up >I loved it ♥O The Love of My Life Anonymous 12/10/21 (Fri)09:31:12 No.66506151 ✓ >Be me >Lightskin >Mother was black >Father was white >Born in 1999 >My mother had me when she was 17 >Never knew my dad >He took off before I was born >Mother's parents were Southern Baptists >Didn't let her abort me >My mother would never let me have people over, or go to anyone else's house >I didn't have any friends because of low self-esteem, and being afraid to talk to others >But I was good at playing football, so my teammates respected me, even though I was really quiet >Eventually I got big enough that my mother stopped hitting me >I remained shy, and a loner throughout high school >Never forming any relationships beyond my teammates >I was afraid of talking to girls >I was worried that they'd see in me the same thing that my mother saw, and would hate me like she did >I spent all of my time studying, or working out in the school weight room >Decided to start reading the Bible in high school >Became very religious >I became really interested in Catholicism >My mother disapproved of religion, but I didn't care >I worked very hard academically to attain scholarships, so I could afford to go to college >Did everything I could to get straight A's >I didn't want to end up like my mother >Around Sophomore year of high school, I started having nightmares >In my nightmares I was a little kid again, getting hit by her >I got accepted into the state university >I moved off to college >After dropping me off, my mother told me that I was on my own, and she never wanted to see me again >I was fine with that, I never wanted to see her again either >I struggled making friends in college >I still had low self-esteem >Other than going to classes, the gym, or attending Mass, I never left my dorm >l officially converted to Catholicism, and got baptized >I always sat alone in church because I didn't know anyone >I always thought that the feelings of self-loathing, and loneliness would go away once I got away from my mother >But I just felt isolated, since I didn't know anyone >I thought the nightmares would go away, but they didn't >Looked like an angel >Long blonde hair Anonymous 12/10/21 (Fri)09:37:29 No.66506199 >One Sunday toward the end of Freshmen year, I got to Mass early to pray, and this girl sits next to me >I'd seen her before at the gym, and at Mass, but we didn't know each other >She was perfect, like an honest 11/10 >Most beautiful woman I've ever seen >Stunning blue eyes >Tall like 6'1" (I'm only 5'8") >She tells me her name is Naomi >We get to talking >She tells me she's a Junior >Gorgeous long legs >Super fit >Warm smile >Though she didn't flaunt it, you could tell she had an amazing body >I'm just a Freshman >She's 21, I'm about to turn 19 >She says she's seen me around, but doesn't know my name >We introduce ourselves >I was super nervous talking to her >I had no idea how to talk to girls >I stumbled over my words >I was going to school to get a degree in engineering >She was a PolSci major, going into law school >She giggled >This happens week after week >She keeps sitting next to me at Mass >Smiles and waves at me whenever she sees me at the gym, or just around campus >I'm an idiot with no experience with girls so I don't take the hint >After 2 months of her flirting with me, she gave up trying to get me to take a hint, and just asked me out herself >One Sunday she just asked if we could go to lunch together after Mass >I agree, but I didn't realize she meant it in a romantic way >I thought she wanted to just go out to eat as friends >When we get there, she reaches across the table and holds my hand >Before I can say anything, she does first >Naomi says that she was waiting for weeks for me to ask her out, but I never did >Now I'm starting to realize that this is a date >I sheepishly apologize, and say that I didn't think she thought of me in that way Anonymous >She giggles, and tells me that I'm so adorable >This makes me feel so happy >Even though it was just a simple compliment, for the first time ever, I felt loved >We started dating, but we took it really slow >We were both virgins, who wanted to wait until marriage Anonymous 12/10/21 (Fri)09:39:02 No.66506215 ✓ >We didn't kiss until our fifth date >She took me back to my dorm after we saw a movie together >We said goodbye >As I was turning away to go back to my dorm, she grabbed and kissed me >It was the first kiss I ever had >It made me feel so happy >She jokingly tells me that she'll teach me how to kiss because I need practice >After a few months of dating, she took me home to introduce to her parents >I was worried that they wouldn't approve of her dating a lightskin boy >But they were very nice to me >At first, I thought they were just putting on a facade >But after a while I realized that they really were just nice people >I learned a lot about her from her family >Her parents are basically the Catholic stereotype of having countless kids >Naomi has 7 younger siblings >She had an older brother who died of cancer when they were growing up >She only had one boyfriend in the past >They dated for like a year when they first started college >They broke up because he ended up cheating on her >He was only pretending to be super Catholic to get with her, and didn't like that she wanted to wait until marriage >After meeting her parents, she took me up to her childhood bedroom >We sat down on her bed >She asked me about my family, and why I never talked about them >I had always avoided the subject when it came up before >But I finally decided to tell her everything >About how I never knew my dad, and how my mother was a drunk that didn't want me >About how my mother wanted to abort me >I told her about how my mother hit me, and how she always told me that she hated me >I broke down crying when I told Naomi >She took me into her arms >I cried even harder >She laid me down, and just started cuddling with me >We'd never cuddled before >I'd never been cuddled before >I was sobbing as she held me >She kept telling me that she loved me, over and over again >After a while I calmed down, and stopped crying >She told me that she wants to make my life better Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:40:04 No.66506227 ✓ >She started complimenting me a lot >She'd always tell me how cute and adorable I was >She wanted to improve my self image >She'd snuggle up with me when we watched movies together >She gave me the attention that I craved so much >My self image did improve >I became more confident >I felt so loved >Fast forward to the 2 year anniversary of when we first met >Since being with Naomi, I was happy for the first time in my life >I love her so much >She's made my life so much better than I ever thought it could be >I became part of her friend group >Her parents treat me like a son >Naomi convinced me to get back into contact with my grandparents >I hadn't seen or spoken to them in years, because my mother kept me away from them >When I called them they were so happy to hear from me >They're not too fond of Catholics, but they were happy that I found God, even if it wasn't in the way they wanted >They told me that my mother moved away, shortly after I went to college, and no one's heard from her since >I decided to ask Naomi to marry me >I was broke as hell, so I couldn't afford an expensive of a ring >But I knew that stuff wasn't important to her >She would love the ring because it represented my love for her, not because of how much I spent on it >I made dinner for her at her house >Not a very good cook, but I made it work >After we ate, I got on one knee, and asked her to marry me >She jumped into my arms and said yes >She had made me so happy, and now I wanted to make her so happy >We were engaged for a little more than a year >We got married this past June after I graduated from college >We got married in the parish that we first met in >Covid is still kind of a thing, so we had to have a pretty small ceremony >Just Naomi's family, and my grandparents >It was my first time seeing my grandparents in person since I was probably 14 or 15 >They were so proud of me for making something of my life >They told me that they were so relieved that I found happiness Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:41:29 No.66506240 ✓ >After the wedding, Naomi and I went back to her house, that I was now going to move into >We'd had boxes of my stuff moved to her place a week before >I'd been sleeping in a hotel the past few weeks since I no longer had a dorm >I bridal carried her through the door >Almost hit her head on the door because she's so tall >Once I set her down, I was so nervous about what I knew was going to happen next >Naomi could see that I was anxious >She asked me if I was nervous about losing my virginity >I admitted that I was >We were no longer virgins >I was moving into >She admitted that she was too >But then she gave me this look deep into my eyes, that assured me that everything would be okay >She gave me a kiss on the cheek >Playfully grabbed me by the hand, and led me up to the bedroom >When we got into her room, she told me to lay on the bed, and make myself comfortable >She said she had a surprise planned for me, but it would take a few minutes >She went into the bathroom, and I started to realize what the surprise was >Naomi opened the door, to reveal herself wearing this white lace teddy with stockings, and a white silk robe on top >My jaw started hanging open like a retard >She was so beautiful, she was glowing like an angel >She told me that she wanted to reward me for waiting until marriage >She said that she wanted to spoil me, because I had a tough childhood, and deserved to be spoiled >The next morning felt like something out of a movie >Waking up cuddling in her arms for the first time >Feeling her warm skin >Hearing birds chirping outside >The warm sun beaming in on us >Waking up to see her beautiful face >As soon as I woke up, she started kissing me all over my face telling me what a cutie I was >I couldn't believe what happened the night before >I jolted >Naomi woke >But that day we got absolutely no unpacking done >We spent the whole day, cuddling, kissing, and making love >I felt like a kid on Christmas morning rhouse, so we had a lot of unpacking to do Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:42:31 No.66506252 ✓ >One night, shortly after we got married, I had a nightmare of my mother hitting me again awake, and I felt my heart was pounding o because I was kicking in my sleep when she looked at me, she could tell that something was wrong >I've gotten >She's starting >I feel so happy >Immediately >She asked me what happened >I told her that I >She took me into her arms and comforted me >She calmed me down, and told me that everything was going to be okay, because I was with her now, and she would protect me, and keep me safe >I broke down crying in her arms >I felt so safe in her arms >I knew that >She would make everything better >I used to think that once I was happy, the nightmares would go away >But now I realize they'll never fully go away >But that's okay, because I know that whatever happens, Naomi will be there to comfort me had another nightmare about my mother Naomi would protect me from all of the pain that I had >The 6 months that we've been married have felt magical >Waking up next to her every morning >Falling asleep in her arms every night >Spending every moment we can together >Some nights we'll stay up for hours just talking >We've both gotten so much better at making love >She's so gentle and tender with me >She loves spoiling me with her love >Both of our careers are going well an internship that'll turn into a good job in a year her 3L, which is the last year of Law School >A >When >She's pregnant >I'm going to be >I love this child >I want this child >I want to be the parent that I never had few days ago I got home from work I walked, in she ran up to me with the biggest smile on her face, hugged me, and showed me a pregnancy test a dad so much, and I want to give them the life that I never had growing up to have the happiest, and most loving family ever

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Anon is ashamed of his urges | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/23(Sun)09:56:32 No.73796220 48 KB JPG >Be p-------- >Dont ever want to hurt kids >Extended family is having a party downstairs >My little cousins are there >I know my four year old little boy cousin will be at the pool >I know he will be shirtless in a little speedo so I can't go downstairs in order to keep myself in control >My dad forces me to go downstairs anyways >He knows I struggle with this s--- but apparently he doesn't think about it >Go downstairs >I see my cousin >I sit in the corner and sip my grape juice trying to ignore it all >Shaking >I can't f------ do this >Ashamed of myself >Turned on >Feeling dirty >Almost cry >I try to tell my dad to let me go upstairs but he won't let me >I stay there for more ten minutes >I am such a f------ >I feel horrible >I can't take my eyes of him >ask my dad again >Tell him I was to practice my guitar >He finally, finally lets me go upstairs It's over. I don't know how to stop this. I don't know how to get better. I'm genuinely considering suicide. I don't want to hurt kids.

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Anon picks up a girl at Gamestop. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/18/15(Mon)08:31:32 No.294899719 ► >>294899831 >>294900694 >>294900993 >>294901537 >>294904672 >>294906148 >>294906814 >>294907339 >>294908589 >>294910647 >>294912424 >>294912632 >>294913135 >>294913342 >>294913630 >>294913987 >>294914191 >>294916758 File: 1408463171872.png (23 KB, 640x731) r >go to gamestop >pretty decente attractive girl working at register >don't pay much attention to her, go and look for The Warriors in the PS2 section >find it after searching for the better part of ten minutes >bring it to the counter >girl at the register says that The Warrior is one of her favorite games on the PS2 >think "Damn n----, she's got good taste" >tell her about I used to play it at a friend's house a ton but never bought it myself >she says "With you friend? I've always played it by myself, but i heard its splitscreen is a ton of fun. I've never had anyone to play games with." >laugh and jokingly ask her if she'd like to play it with me >she says "Sure!" >oh god what >she asks me if I'm serious, can't think of a good response so I just say "yeah" >she gives me her address >say i'll come by in the evening >a few hours later, i'm at her apartmen >we play The Warriors, Timesplitters 2 and switch off on We <3 Katamari for the entire night, before we know it its 3 AM >say that i should be going >"Would you like to stay for the night?" >heart's pounding hard as f---, ask "what do you mean?" >she says "I've been lonely for a while, and playing games with you was a lot of fun... I thought that maybe I could repay you" >despite my disbelief, I follow what she means >she leads me into her bedroom and we undress >f--- her harder than I've ever f----- before, never REALLY had sex so its amazing >after 30 minutes she collapses in my arms as we slowly drift off to sleep >she whispers into my ear "You've got such a great d---, anon..." >"you too"

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Anon your local discord admin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 28 KB JPG 06/25/23(Sun)10:00:17 No.73796258 >omg you're so cute what's your discord???

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Anon tries to get to know his girlfriend better. | /r/Greentext

File: theodorefrog.jpg (11 KB, 225x225) ☐ In some trouble here anons. Anonymous 06/24/23(Sat)23:47:11 No.73792470 >be me >want to talk to girlfriend about uncle ted now that he's gone >hoping to get a good discussion going about his ideas and lifestyle >>73792626 >>73792744 >>73792764 >basically the point I hope to make is that his actions were dangerous but his mind was wrecked because he was smart enough to understand how destructive the hubris of mankind is >she interrupts me while I'm talking and says "Unabomber? More like Unaboomer!" >she puts her hood up and starts doing a mocking impression of him >"oooohhh I'm Theodore Kaczynski somebody cut down some trees so now I live in a shack and wipe my butt with pine needles ooohhhhhh" >she goes in the other room and says "the industrial revolution and its consequences have been seriously busssssin!" >she leaves >posts to her insta a half hour later >she's at the bar with her ex boyfriend >she isn't returning my texts

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Anon tells a story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 353 KB PNG 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

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look on my works, ye mighty, and despair | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /fit/ Poetry Corner 15 KB JPG : Anonymous : nonymous : Anonymous 06/09/23(Fri)01:35:02 No.71220719 a poem >World: cold and hard >Breasts: soft and warm thank you >>71220756 # >>71220880 # >>71220989 # >>71220997 # 84 KB JPG 06/09/23(Fri)01:45:46 No.71220751 >>71220880 # >>71221371 # >As I walk into the gym >I see my friend, a man named Tim >Tim is using the squatting rack >Because some juicy thighs, he does lack >As he goes down with the bar >Tim goes down a bit too far >It hits the floor, and so does he >A terrible catastrophe >I call the medic, but it's much too late >Tim has gone and met his fate >He calls me over as he gasps for air >He's telling me to say a prayer >Goodbye Tim, my grand old chum >You never got your juicy bum 06/09/23(Fri)01:47:24 No.71220756 06/09/23(Fri)02:17:05 No.71220859

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Anon is going through a midlife crisis. | /r/Greentext

>it'll get better in high school >it'll get better in college >it'l' get better in university >it will get better when i have a job 142 KB PNG >ive wasted my entire f------ life, my youth is gone ive missed out on love and any important milestones in a normal persons life View Thread

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Anon becomes a wagie | /r/Greentext

File: Dwayne The Spock Johnson.png (636 KB, 680x645) O /b/ Job stories thread Anonymous 06/17/23(Sat)17:23:50 No.901081811 [Reply] Job stories thread? >be me >apply for a job at a national security frim in my country >its my first real job so nervous af >pass all pre-interview tests >final interview date arrives, itshappening.jpg >answer all their questions as quickly and as calmly as possible >imgonnamakeit.rar >final question >ask me "who is the president of the United State?" >without any hesitation and with no second thoughts answer "Sleepy Joe" >horrified as I realize immediately that my autistic ass just sperged that >focus on interviewers' face and see their stern and serious reaction >panicatthedisco.ogg >immediately try to save the situation by adding "aka Joe Biden" >interviewers suddenly start laughing >stillnotsafe.png >they tell me I did better than most of the applicants and that I passed anyways, what's your autistic job stories /b/?

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Anon is a sleeping bag warrior | /r/Greentext

36m (6/25 13:25) 73794005 1 Re. 0 Img PNG 183KB (496 × 680) EngyGuitarSmash.png sleeping bag >be me >early 20s >just moved out of hometown to b------ nowhere >stupidly, only brought one set of sheets >laundry day rolls around >get up early so i can put them out to dry >back from work >they got rained on >f---, how am i gunna sleep >idea.bmp >use my old sleeping bag >had it when i was a kid, barely fit into it >but extra tight means extra warm, so i'm pretty snug >slowly falling asleep >THUD >f--- that was an unsettling noise, but it's probably just another possum in the roofspace or something >BANG *argh* >f--- me someone broke in >attempt to get out of sleeping bag >zipper's stuck tight >manage to hop my way out of bed and wriggle my arms out >grab nearest thing to me >my fender six string >flashlight beam coming through my door >pic related him over the back of the head >guy is very obviously a meth addict >find my phone, call the cops >cop comes >helps me out of sleeping bag >takes me back to station for statement >i give it with sleeping bag draped over my shoulders 'cos it's 2am, cold as f--- >next day >go to local bar >"hey everyone, it's the sleeping bag warrior" >how does every yokel in this bar know what happened last night? >sit down at bar >look next to me >it's the cop >oh, that's how >apparently 6 or 7 properties have been burglarized by this guy before mine >drink free all night >am new town hero >get talking to hot grill >she'd been broken into, too ●●● >we have a few together >end up at her place >cuppa in the kitchen turns into lying on the couch >turns into making out in bedroom >turns into getting busy >"one sec anon, i gotta go get something" >hopefully it's lube and not a 10" rubber c--- or something >hear her going through a cupboard in the next room for a solid 2 minutes >what the f--- could be taking so long? >as she walks back in she's unfurling her sleeping bag from then on, every time we've been together she insists we use the sleeping bag. apparently it's a huge turn on for her and makes her feel secure falling asleep with me in it.

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