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36m (6/25 13:25) 73794005 1 Re. 0 Img PNG 183KB (496 × 680) EngyGuitarSmash.png sleeping bag >be me >early 20s >just moved out of hometown to b------ nowhere >stupidly, only brought one set of sheets >laundry day rolls around >get up early so i can put them out to dry >back from work >they got rained on >f---, how am i gunna sleep >idea.bmp >use my old sleeping bag >had it when i was a kid, barely fit into it >but extra tight means extra warm, so i'm pretty snug >slowly falling asleep >THUD >f--- that was an unsettling noise, but it's probably just another possum in the roofspace or something >BANG *argh* >f--- me someone broke in >attempt to get out of sleeping bag >zipper's stuck tight >manage to hop my way out of bed and wriggle my arms out >grab nearest thing to me >my fender six string >flashlight beam coming through my door >pic related him over the back of the head >guy is very obviously a meth addict >find my phone, call the cops >cop comes >helps me out of sleeping bag >takes me back to station for statement >i give it with sleeping bag draped over my shoulders 'cos it's 2am, cold as f--- >next day >go to local bar >"hey everyone, it's the sleeping bag warrior" >how does every yokel in this bar know what happened last night? >sit down at bar >look next to me >it's the cop >oh, that's how >apparently 6 or 7 properties have been burglarized by this guy before mine >drink free all night >am new town hero >get talking to hot grill >she'd been broken into, too ●●● >we have a few together >end up at her place >cuppa in the kitchen turns into lying on the couch >turns into making out in bedroom >turns into getting busy >"one sec anon, i gotta go get something" >hopefully it's lube and not a 10" rubber c--- or something >hear her going through a cupboard in the next room for a solid 2 minutes >what the f--- could be taking so long? >as she walks back in she's unfurling her sleeping bag from then on, every time we've been together she insists we use the sleeping bag. apparently it's a huge turn on for her and makes her feel secure falling asleep with me in it.

Anon is a sleeping bag warrior | /r/Greentext


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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.
Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI
: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"
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