Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

28 KB JPG >be me and my room mate. >both incels >it's okay sometimes but it's kinda sad because I wanted to know what it feels like to be with girl >one night me and room mate discussing girls and our failures >he gets frustrated and pushes me over and starts ripping off my clothes >"wh-what are you doing room mate?" >he doesn't answer and just flips me over like a pancake (he's always been stronger than me) >he inserts himself into me and it hurts >I don't know what's going on but it starts to feel good >we both c-- at the same time like his c-- went through me like a beautiful fountain that came out of my penis >we sit awkwardly for a bit >"why did you do that?" >"bro it's okay. Gender is fluid these days. Just before c------ I identified as a girl. So we just lost our virginity without being gay! >I start to cry because he's right >I've now lost my virginity to a girl. there's hope for us fellas. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon plays pacman | /r/Greentext

>/var/cache/pacman/pkg >19.4 GiB 3h (6/15 20:19) 94088833 >pacman 1980, 24kb >pacman 2023, 19gb What went so wrong? 1h (6/15 22:12) 94090687 >>94088780 (OP) paccache(1) 1h (6/15 22:18)-94090786 >>94088780 (OP) unused storage is wasted storage. : : :

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Tell me you don't go outside without telling me you don't go outside | /r/Greentext

Post your standards for gf Mine: - 16 to 19 years old 287 KB JPG - Virgin, has never seen a penis, has never thought of a man sexually. - 170 to 175cm tall, small-medium boobs, pink n------, wide hips, feminine fat distribution, very little muscle mass. - Either strawberry blonde with blue eyes or light brown hair with green eyes; wavy hair ideally, porcelain white skin, with rosy cheeks, and visible veins. - Takes care of her body but doesn't mind eating more during special occasions and gaining a few pounds after pregnancy. - Hobbies and interest are cute and feminine; cooking, baking, sewing, embroidery, reading, playing classical instruments (piano, violin, flute, etc), singing, gardening, flower arranging, birdwatching, stargazing, traditional archery, airgun/rimfire target shooting. - Dresses in a cute feminine way; dresses with lace, in pastel colors and white; traditional European inspired styles, dresses always below knee-high, might wear clothes with more skin exposed in presence of me and close family/friends alone. Wears pantyhose/stockings most of the time. Never wears pants or sneakers outside athletic activities. Uses cute, tasteful jewelry gifted my me all the time. - Doesn't work, doesn't drive, doesn't curse, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink outside a cup of wine with meals or champagne, doesn't talk to strangers unless necessary, specially with male strangers, doesn't have male friends. Doesn't have strong opinions of her own, no political opinions except being pro-family. - Devout Roman Catholic - Wants kids, doesn't take the pill, always begging to get filled with my seed. - Doesn't mind me spending my entire paycheck in guns and cars - Loves me dearly, is compassionate and understanding of my flaws and mistakes. 85 Replies/17 Images View Thread

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anon interested in human flesh cowboy hats | /r/Greentext

10 KB JPG >be bored >depressed >want to find a new game to stop the pain >w-- is rimworld >bye world >watch YouTube >colony sim >base building >murderous guinea pigs >real s---? >human flesh hats >ooohhh >living blood bag >devilish >average time played by players >500 hours

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anon criticizes chuds | /r/Greentext

79KiB, 487x498, 1686538699043121.gif View Same Google ImgOps SauceNAO Anonymous Thu 15 Jun 2023 21:58:39 No.640828273 Deleted View Original Report Quoted By: >>640828526 >>640828715 >>640829512 >>640829580 >>640829641 >>640829762 >>640829798 >>640829878 >>640 >>640831141 >WINDOWS 10 IS BAD I WILL CONTINUE USING WINDOWS 7 >GAY RIGHTS ARE NOT HUMAN RIGHTS I WILL CONTINUE BEING A BIGOT >BLACK PEOPLE SHOULD STAY IN THEIR COUNTRIES I WILL CONTINUE BEING A RACIST >NEW STEAM IS BAD I WON'T USE IT Why are chuds afraid of change? Anonymous Thu 15 Jun 2023 22:00:33 No.640828474 Report If the only winning move is not to play, I'd still call you a f-----. Anonymous Thu 15 Jun 2023 22:01:08 No.640828526 >>640828273 Really, only the first statement is wrong. View Same Google ImgOps SauceNAO 48fwwztmk3c41.jpg, 71 KiB, 912x1024 Anonymous Thu 15 Jun 2023 22:01:21 No.640828558 "Oh Windows? yeah I use 8.1, what about it?" Report Report

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Anon does shrooms | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: YN1Q19JQ) 06/13/23(Tue)11:40:10 No.430531395 >>430538860 >>430558196 File: 1679022276844547.jpg (172 KB, 1125x1125) >>430504186 I'll tell you about the last time I was on shrooms, where one of my plans was to experience an orgasm while on a high dose >>430532427 >>430533402 >be me >a good 3 hours into a high dose mushroom trip >for the last 30 minutes i've just been laughing myself hoarse because waves of extremely intense euphoria keep washing over my body, from tip of the toes all the way out the skull >just wriggle in bed in hysterical laughter to the point of exhaustion >getting control back ever so slightly >think "im lying down anyway, perfect time to bust a nut" >pull out massive hip onahole because im that guy >try to pull my pants down >pants cannot be located >after a few minutes I think they are down, start searching for penis >I am tripping too hard to even see, so simply try to fondle my way to my own d--- and balls >this task takes tremendous effort >when I finally get a hold on the damn thing, I realized my boxers are still on and start crying laughing >I have a thing where I cant clench my fists or even hold onto anything whenever I laugh hard >lose grip on penis and it disappears into the ocean that is my body >20 or so minutes go by >finally, everything prepared, d--- in hand, several KGs of life like silicone f--- toy at the ready >try to maintain erection long enough to shove it into the dry hole >while also trying to figure out how to open p--- on my phone (which i quickly realize is impossible because i dont speak ancient sumerian and thats what my phone is trying to talk to me with) >rely on good old fantasy >it goes from feeling the most intense sexual experience i've ever fathomed to losing myself in the fantasy im actively creating >eventually d--- goes ultra instinct >the time has come >l intent to e-------- with the force of a thousand suns >at the point of no return, time ceases to exist for me >i feel my entire being and the universe coalesce in pure ecstasy in the upper middle part of my frontal lobe >i can literally feel and see my soul leaving my body >i nut and laugh

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Not sure if this is the 'bloodiest', but it's the 'cringiest' for sure. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: p1gQ2Jir) Defense of Ukraine @DefenceU 06/04/23(Sun)12:41:03 No.429363897 We need Australia in the tank coalition of free nations. Dear Australians, this message is for you: Each and every tank we receive from Australia will help us break through the enemy's defenses - and as a result, regain our land and save the lives of our people. M1A1 ABRAMS TANKS 2:05 AM-Jun 1, 2023-829.8K Views 0:17 / 1:00 australia-ukraine-tanks.png 342 KB PNG >Goes on wikipedia page for M1A1 Abrams tank >Checks which countries are using it and how many >Sees Australia has Abrams tanks >Makes mad max style propaganda video because reddit said that australians like mad max >Gibs me dat! https://twitter.com/DefenceU/status /1664060450772865026

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Anon experiences duality of man | /r/Greentext

File: 168.png (412 KB, 3168x3080) Anonymous 06/14/23 (Wed)20:10:24 No.900959803 [Reply] >>900960451 tfw ive never seen a nice person on 4chan! +3 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 06/14/23(Wed)20:29:07 No.900960451 >>900959803 (OP) shut up f-----, get r---- by a dolphin and die >> Anonymous 06/14/23(Wed)20:55:27 No.900961156 Anonymous 06/14/23(Wed)21:29:39 No.900962180 have a nice day

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Anon is a reddit mod | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous (ID: ggVS6DRo ) 06/15/23(Thu)22:33:34 No.430765258 >>430765369 File: Wowguy.jpg (24 KB, 367x249) >Be me, reddit mod. >Decide to go on strike by withholding a service/product I don't provide. >It doesn't work. >MFW when Keanu Reeves didn't save me.

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Anon failed | /r/Greentext

>you had no friends in school >you got bullied >"get together in groups kids" >your stomach cramps and you nearly gag >at home you play video games, watch videos, anything that makes you escape reality >fast forward, you are in your mid to late 20s >the time of exploration is over >your peers backpacked through New Zealand >they grew up, became adult and built a life 434 KB JPG >they guy who threw a garbage can after you ten years ago has his second child on the way >it is 4am and you stare at a woman spreading her legs on your screen >you start a game you invested 2000 hours into >you aren't even good at it >you don't on try to escape from the world outside anymore >you try to escape from your feelings >you failed >you failed and there is nothing you can do about it >and the soul crushing fact >it could have been different

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Anon digs himself into a hole with AI | /r/Greentext

>taking photos of my girlfriend's body and using them as models for Al, getting sexy results >gf agrees to open an OnlyFans, split the proceeds 50/50 >find a niche, butthole photos >offering 25% sub discount in bio with a butthole pic and it says "IMAGINE YOU WERE SLOBBERING ON THIS" >freaks love this s---, can't pay enough for every angle >all the buttholes look like my gf's, but she hasn't ever seen her butthole 1.69 MB PNG >gf mentions Al buttholes don't look well cleaned >it's literally what her butthole looks like >we're saving for a car with this money, almost there Should I tell her this is what hers actually looks like or just let it ride?

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Anon invents dark matter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/15/23(Thu)11:18:39 No.10849734 >be physicist >making stupid f------ equations for something nobody cares about >stumble upon issue with calculations, it isn't lining up >realize I might have to consider that I'm wrong on the laws of physics >invent "dark matter" out of my ass and add it to the equation as another variable, literally no proof of it existing >equation finished >realize I have to explain dark matter >ohfuck.jpg >"uhmm, well its invisible and very rare and uhh.. also can do a lot but WE DONT KNOW EVERYTHING so DONT ASK ANYMORE QUESTIONS" >everyone falls for it f------ retards

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Smartest 4Chinner | /r/Greentext

A 0.38% 75 100 125 50 Results Your IQ is 64 Your Name... 150 Highcharts.com Your IQ is in the top 99.62% In a room of 1000 people you would be smarter than 4 of them. mensa_application.png 49 KB PNG Is there anything in science I can do with an iq of 64? It is my favorite subject.

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