Anon has a crush | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 0a2d157d97e93cfe5229fab48(...).jpg (61 KB, 793x786) Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:01:35 No.878076304 >>878076342 >>878076436 >>878078208 >>878078713 >>878080105 >>878081141 >>878083056 Feels thread. I f----- up bad. I need to know I'm not alone right now. Thread theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwgKmIBNt4Y [Embed] >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:02:21 No.878076342 ► >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:03:30 No.878076426 ► >>> Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)15:03:40 No.878076436 ► >> Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri) 15:11:34 No.878076836 >>878076937 >>878076979 >>878077130 >>878077288 >>878077512 >>878077540 >>878080105 >>878080162 >>878083182 >>878083385 >>878083469 >>878083533 >>878083564 File: 00c560958c2db19d268adf933(...).jpg (47 KB, 548x389) DUDE WHAT >>878076836 You can't make this s--- up >we had been flirting on and off for months by this point I figured it was a sure thing Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)17:29:13 No.878084359 ► File: Elpym 4W4AEq9Sx.jpg (57 KB, 693x960) >I ask her why not >"I'm not into bigger guys. No offense but I feel like you could crush me if you wanted to" >"No I couldnt" Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:13:24 No.878076937 ► >>878077144 >>878076836 i dont even know how to process that >>878076342 >be me >Yes you could >My autism kicks in and I decide to prove that I wasnt that big >I push her on the ground (playfully) and kind of lay on her (keep in mind we were both clothed in our work uniforms by this point) >Apparently she really couldnt breath and she starts screaming and yelling for help. >Autistic as f--- Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)15:14:17 No.878076979 >>878077144 File: yikes pepe.gif (1.34 MB, 568x396) >>878076836 >have crush on cute coworker at my birger flipping job >we're both close to the same age, only a few years difference between us (i'm 26 and she's 17) >finally work up the courage to tell her how I feel since I'm going home from uni next week >"Anon, you're okay but I'm not interested" I just spread out over her more >Boss and several coworkers come over and tell me to get off of her but because of the commotion it didn't register what they were saying >finally get off when my boss kicks my ribcage Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)15:16:47 No.878077130 ► >>878078436 File: aBOVIYZW_700w 0.jpg (38 KB, 669x670) >my coworker is struggling to breathe and says that I "collapsed her lungs" whatever that means. >boss sent me home early but took me off the schedule for the rest of the week and I know the girl talked to a police officer later that night How screwed am I b/ros? It was an honest mistake. I'm a diagnosed autistic, could that help lessen my charges? I genuinely thought she was into me and was just playing around. 14 TO Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)17:07:31 No.878083182 File: 1648443793113.jpg (174 KB, 570x424) LIVE TUCKER REACTION Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)16:53:18 No.878082389>>878082439 >>878082616 >>878083665 >>878083778 can someone screencap this thread >>878076836 Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)16:54:20 No.878082439 >>878082616 >>878082389 put me in the screencap >>878076836 > This n---- f------ crushed a bitch That's retarded. I'm laughing, very hard, at the thought of you just randomly f------ laying on top of someone and squishing them for no reason, but it's also really f------ stupid. And not how people act. My brother was on the spectrum, I've known other people that were, and they never did stuff like that. Live & learn and don't go full retard again. Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)16:34:35 No.878081409>>878081571 >>878081696 >>878081974 >>878081982 >>878082066 >>878083253 File: 0ae69e588416a106a7c848f5a(...).jpg (21 KB, 400x388) Guys, I'm really stressed about this after what you're all saying. There's no way I actually go to prison for this, right? I've already peed like ten times in the past hour. I should've never made this stupid thread I figured someone had been in a similar situation and could offer some condolences, but I feel worse now than when I started. >I know I f----- up >I know what I did was wrong >I don't think I'm a monster and it was an honest mistake If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it. Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri) 16:53:49 No.878082410 >>878082577 >>878083193 File: 00e4c3ca016fc495eeff1de85(...).jpg (60 KB, 999x827) >>878082066 I'm going now. I'm going to play some Payday 2 and drink myself to sleep tonight. I genuinely didn't think what I did was that bad... Autism Is A Hell Of A Drug Calm Down op you'll survive but hot damn dude think before you act

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon went to a baseball game and got hit in the face by a foul ball. | /r/Greentext

File: sad_pepeapu spills_his_te(...).jpg (6 KB, 226x300) Anonymous 05/31/23(Wed)14:35:16 No.73516188 >went to a baseball game >got hit in the face with a foul ball Anonymous 05/31/23(Wed)14:37:04 No.73516203 File: Rage face from rage comic(...).png (37 KB, 368x380) Hope your face feels better bro.

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Anon is Bobby Fischer | /r/Greentext

File: 37CE7308-F1C5-447E-86FF-8(...).png (187 KB, 500x500) Magic The Gathering players hahaha this person retweeted a alt right account noooo0000000 Chess players Bobby Fischer wanted to gas the jews I know O Anonymous 05/15/23 (Mon)00:14:35 No.899247298 >be me >Playing chess >(I am very bad, only 500-800 elo, haven't checked in a while.) >accidentally blunder my queen >rage.soy >nothing to release my anger upon >quietly mutter under my breath "I hope you blunder your family in a car accident"

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

File: Hazelnut 600x.jpg (32 KB, 600x600) Anonymous 01/05/21 (Tue)09:29:04 No.9345083 >What if your friend's name was Zul Nut >Every time you saw him, you'd be like "Hey, Zul Nut!" pic related

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anon drives | /r/Greentext

06/01/23(Thu)00:54:49 No.73516087 Anonymous >>73515611 (OP) # f------ p---- ass bitch they probably honked cus you suck at driving. retard. >WAAAH IM LEARNING TO DRIVE f------ troglodyte. how do you "learn" how to drive? you f------ use the wheel to turn and the pedal to go or to stop. you need to know how to match the number on the sign to the number inside your car. then, you need to know the meaning of three. yes, three. three whole colors. its quite literally the easiest thing to do in the world. when I was 7 I would borrow my moms car to buy her cigarettes all the time. Not a problem. I just had a note she had written saying "this is anon, he's buying my cigarettes" and 5 dollars. I could even use the change to buy candy if I wanted, but I'm smart so I saved it all, and then would treat my mom to expensive chocolate every now and then (and also yu gi oh cards for myself)

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Anon is a romantic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 296 KB JPG I would absolutely obliterate you. I would not stop f------ your sweet little p---- until you were begging me to c--, not because it hurt but because the feeling of my thick, hard shaft smashing your p---- walls and juggling your organs over and over would feel unlike anything youve ever experienced before. Then, and only then, would I berry my nut deep into your little p----. I don't care how much birth control you are on, I would coat your entire uterus with my semen and you would bear my child. And for the following 9 months, I would continue to coat your uterus with load after load from my thick, throbbing c---, even on the day you gave birth. The child would come out like he was sliding down a slip and slide. I would give you one (1) month time to recover. And then it would be back to me slamming my shaft into your tight little p---- over and over and over again until we had an army of children >>71127338 # >>71127415 # : Anonymous 54 KB JPG 05/30/23(Tue)20:03:25 No.71127330 >>71126890 (OP) # Listen sweet pea, as you can tell by my picture I'm one of the most jacked guys on this board and definitely the best looking when you pair face + body >>71127366 # 05/30/23(Tue)20:04:31 No.71127338 >>71127330 # >berry About what I would expect honestly.

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Anon has fast reflexes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/18/15(Sat)23:09:36 No.31975967 >>31976041 >>31976118 >>31976313 >>31976389 >usually buy my weekly groceries at the same store >there's this maybe 7-8/10, not perfect but cute cashier >she's always smiling at me and making small talk and s--- >finally realize she's not just being nice >she's mirin hard >gather all my courage and go to store again >buy my usual stuff and pick her line >she offers me the receipt >"how about you write your number on it?" >she blushes bright red, writes down a number >i smile and say i'll call her >I'm so euphoric i'm not thinking right >I don't usually hold on to receipts >i glance at the receipt, crumple it and toss it in the trash bin by the door in full view of her >panic and just walk out DEVILISH

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Anon uses arch btw | /r/Greentext

/g/ ->bring my... Anonymous No.56933823 13 hours ago >bring my superior thinkpad with arch to school >plug it into projector >nothing happens >"let me fix this" >notice driver for it hasn't been compiled because I wanted a minimal kernel >"just one more sec" >download generic kernel >boot into it >still doesn't work >teacher tells me I can do it another time when I fixed my computer >take my thinkpad and sit down in shame >stupid kid with windows 10 laptop walks up >plugs in >instantly werks 21 replies

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anon has the worst life possible | /r/Greentext

38 216KB, 1797x1334, 278151128_525740808951844_66999944911353495 90_n.jpg View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Anonymous Wed 05 Oct 2022 09:17:37 No.886788896 Quoted By: >>886788933 >>886789012 >>886789129 >>886789244 >>88678 >be me >grow up in a society that hates men >forced onto psychiatric drugs that ruined my brain >falsely accused of r--- by sibling >turns into a female to male >watch jeffery dahmer documentery >see a lot of myself in him. >also feel like Im close to killing someone. >falsely accused of r--- my 3 of my exs >falsely accused of r--- by a girl who claims everyone rapes her >falsely accused of being a p-------- >falsely accused of killing my cat >forced into relationships i didnt want to be in >no hard evidence of any of this >get gangstalked >severely mentally ill >disability declining >entered doomer stage 2 >cant even find the motivation to do anything anymore >drink myself to the point my liver now hurts >depression is sinking in heavily >now killed my first animal >feel dopamine for the first time in a long while Anonymous Wed 05 Oct 2022 09:18:38 No.886788933 Report >>886788896 That someone should be yourself

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It is unironically over | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 185759964 1.1 MB PNG 16 REPLIES 3 hr ago... >RARBG is dead >all other main torrent sites are long gone (kickass, original piratebay, demonoid, isohunt, etc) >just rutracker and 1337x remaining, neither of which have what RARBG did >HBO has nothing but a GoT prequel and is banking on raceswapped Harry Potter >nothing on the slate of any other service or channel Prestige TV literally died with Succession. Now the few things that remain won't even get talked about because nobody will actually pay, and pirates will be hunted down completely. It was a good run, from Sopranos to now, but it's over. 6 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon is a trans ally | /r/Greentext

AM BASS 1560055213519.jpg 68 KB JPG >>485183560 # >Find out friend is in a t----- discord >Wait until he starts testing the waters seeing if I'm okay with him coming out >"Yeah bro you do you" >Starts sending me pictures because they're all desperate attention w----- >Email them to his dad >Last online 86 days ago >>485184030 # >>485184096 # >>485184843 #

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Eating on a podcast with your mic on is just bad manners. Nobody should be doing that, fat or not. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 07/09/22(Sat)00:43:05 No.69343211 why do fat people NEVER stop eating? do they not realizing if they stop putting things in their mouth they wont be fat? >listening to podcast with headphones >theres ONE fat person on the podcast >every single second of every podcast they are stuffing their fat face with chips >just constantly hear crunching and their fat lips smacking >every single podcast it's the same thing >i hear the same fat f--- putting chips in their face and chewing with their lips smacking every second >every time i see a fat person they say "oh dude i just cant lose weight its my body" >meanwhile they are always spotted with a bag of chips in their arm or eating something how f------ hard is it to just STOP eating? does food not start to taste disgusting if you just eat it every second?

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Anon failed in judgement. | /r/Greentext

273 KB PNG Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up"

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