anon drives | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

06/01/23(Thu)00:54:49 No.73516087 Anonymous >>73515611 (OP) # f------ p---- ass bitch they probably honked cus you suck at driving. retard. >WAAAH IM LEARNING TO DRIVE f------ troglodyte. how do you "learn" how to drive? you f------ use the wheel to turn and the pedal to go or to stop. you need to know how to match the number on the sign to the number inside your car. then, you need to know the meaning of three. yes, three. three whole colors. its quite literally the easiest thing to do in the world. when I was 7 I would borrow my moms car to buy her cigarettes all the time. Not a problem. I just had a note she had written saying "this is anon, he's buying my cigarettes" and 5 dollars. I could even use the change to buy candy if I wanted, but I'm smart so I saved it all, and then would treat my mom to expensive chocolate every now and then (and also yu gi oh cards for myself)

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a romantic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 296 KB JPG I would absolutely obliterate you. I would not stop f------ your sweet little p---- until you were begging me to c--, not because it hurt but because the feeling of my thick, hard shaft smashing your p---- walls and juggling your organs over and over would feel unlike anything youve ever experienced before. Then, and only then, would I berry my nut deep into your little p----. I don't care how much birth control you are on, I would coat your entire uterus with my semen and you would bear my child. And for the following 9 months, I would continue to coat your uterus with load after load from my thick, throbbing c---, even on the day you gave birth. The child would come out like he was sliding down a slip and slide. I would give you one (1) month time to recover. And then it would be back to me slamming my shaft into your tight little p---- over and over and over again until we had an army of children >>71127338 # >>71127415 # : Anonymous 54 KB JPG 05/30/23(Tue)20:03:25 No.71127330 >>71126890 (OP) # Listen sweet pea, as you can tell by my picture I'm one of the most jacked guys on this board and definitely the best looking when you pair face + body >>71127366 # 05/30/23(Tue)20:04:31 No.71127338 >>71127330 # >berry About what I would expect honestly.

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Anon has fast reflexes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/18/15(Sat)23:09:36 No.31975967 >>31976041 >>31976118 >>31976313 >>31976389 >usually buy my weekly groceries at the same store >there's this maybe 7-8/10, not perfect but cute cashier >she's always smiling at me and making small talk and s--- >finally realize she's not just being nice >she's mirin hard >gather all my courage and go to store again >buy my usual stuff and pick her line >she offers me the receipt >"how about you write your number on it?" >she blushes bright red, writes down a number >i smile and say i'll call her >I'm so euphoric i'm not thinking right >I don't usually hold on to receipts >i glance at the receipt, crumple it and toss it in the trash bin by the door in full view of her >panic and just walk out DEVILISH

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Anon uses arch btw | /r/Greentext

/g/ ->bring my... Anonymous No.56933823 13 hours ago >bring my superior thinkpad with arch to school >plug it into projector >nothing happens >"let me fix this" >notice driver for it hasn't been compiled because I wanted a minimal kernel >"just one more sec" >download generic kernel >boot into it >still doesn't work >teacher tells me I can do it another time when I fixed my computer >take my thinkpad and sit down in shame >stupid kid with windows 10 laptop walks up >plugs in >instantly werks 21 replies

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anon has the worst life possible | /r/Greentext

38 216KB, 1797x1334, 278151128_525740808951844_66999944911353495 90_n.jpg View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Anonymous Wed 05 Oct 2022 09:17:37 No.886788896 Quoted By: >>886788933 >>886789012 >>886789129 >>886789244 >>88678 >be me >grow up in a society that hates men >forced onto psychiatric drugs that ruined my brain >falsely accused of r--- by sibling >turns into a female to male >watch jeffery dahmer documentery >see a lot of myself in him. >also feel like Im close to killing someone. >falsely accused of r--- my 3 of my exs >falsely accused of r--- by a girl who claims everyone rapes her >falsely accused of being a p-------- >falsely accused of killing my cat >forced into relationships i didnt want to be in >no hard evidence of any of this >get gangstalked >severely mentally ill >disability declining >entered doomer stage 2 >cant even find the motivation to do anything anymore >drink myself to the point my liver now hurts >depression is sinking in heavily >now killed my first animal >feel dopamine for the first time in a long while Anonymous Wed 05 Oct 2022 09:18:38 No.886788933 Report >>886788896 That someone should be yourself

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It is unironically over | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 185759964 1.1 MB PNG 16 REPLIES 3 hr ago... >RARBG is dead >all other main torrent sites are long gone (kickass, original piratebay, demonoid, isohunt, etc) >just rutracker and 1337x remaining, neither of which have what RARBG did >HBO has nothing but a GoT prequel and is banking on raceswapped Harry Potter >nothing on the slate of any other service or channel Prestige TV literally died with Succession. Now the few things that remain won't even get talked about because nobody will actually pay, and pirates will be hunted down completely. It was a good run, from Sopranos to now, but it's over. 6 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon is a trans ally | /r/Greentext

AM BASS 1560055213519.jpg 68 KB JPG >>485183560 # >Find out friend is in a t----- discord >Wait until he starts testing the waters seeing if I'm okay with him coming out >"Yeah bro you do you" >Starts sending me pictures because they're all desperate attention w----- >Email them to his dad >Last online 86 days ago >>485184030 # >>485184096 # >>485184843 #

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Eating on a podcast with your mic on is just bad manners. Nobody should be doing that, fat or not. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 07/09/22(Sat)00:43:05 No.69343211 why do fat people NEVER stop eating? do they not realizing if they stop putting things in their mouth they wont be fat? >listening to podcast with headphones >theres ONE fat person on the podcast >every single second of every podcast they are stuffing their fat face with chips >just constantly hear crunching and their fat lips smacking >every single podcast it's the same thing >i hear the same fat f--- putting chips in their face and chewing with their lips smacking every second >every time i see a fat person they say "oh dude i just cant lose weight its my body" >meanwhile they are always spotted with a bag of chips in their arm or eating something how f------ hard is it to just STOP eating? does food not start to taste disgusting if you just eat it every second?

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Anon failed in judgement. | /r/Greentext

273 KB PNG Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up"

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Anon is cool | /r/Greentext

Some couple of cool facts and stories about me (enjoy): 159 KB JPG >Name: Chadwick Thundercock >Born from a Gamma-Ray Burst, crash landed onto earth >6ft9, 420 lbs shredded >18 time UFC heavyweight champion (retired cuz I killed off all competition) >Became the World Bank CEO at the age of 14 (they offered it) >Previous business venture: Selling my load to the sperm bank at 2 mill an ounce (women crave my seed) >18 inch dong (turns lesbians straight, and men gay) >Net worth: 69 billion >Governments all over the world pay their taxes to me Currently on a mission to lobotomize every troon that exists on this planet Earth Will be back with more cool stories

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Anon on depression | /r/Greentext

Anonymous You guys are the hypocrites 91 KB JPG 05/31/23(Wed)11:05:49 No.73511487 >man makes a thread about being depressed and having a terrible life >All the comments are telling him to either man up or kill himself >Woman makes a thread about being depressed and having a terrible life >All the comments are trying to help her situation and being supportive You always blame normalfag that do that IRL but you people do the same exact thing. You criticize them for what they do but you behave the same in the same exact circumstances. Whenever you point your finger on a normie for what they say or do, remember that you'd probably behave the same as them. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon rants about omnivores | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Omnivores are scum gettyimages 32 KB JPG 05/13/23(Sat)10:29:33 No.73298735 >If we don't eat and kill them other animals will That's as fallacious as saying >If I don't r--- her someone else will >If I don't kill him someone else will >If I don't rob him someone else will >If I don't vandalize it someone else will YOU SAVAGES!

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Anon gets spooked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 155 KB PNG 05/31/23(Wed)11:40:03 No.73511627 3 Replies >1:35 AM >"there's motion at your front door" >check it >don't see anything moving >hear an unusually large number of dogs barking in the clip >they sound really close to the doorbell camera >don't hear any dogs at all from my room >too scared to leave my room to check for sure what's going on out there I'm legit spooked. View Thread

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