Anon is an online school casualty | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 20220204_232317.jpg (59 KB, 400x415) ME DUMB AND NO KNOW HOW SPEAK Anonymous 05/20/23(Sat)21:03:20 No.28982443 >Be me, 20 year old autist >Ugly as s--- for majority of my life, was kinda bullied in middle school >Have major glowup, go from a 4 to around an 8 out of 10. >Parents decide to have me put in Online School because their scared of Public Schools being violent >Online School for all of High School, never talked to anyone but my teachers and a couple guys from my Middle school >Me now, out of school but have virtually no friends and my social skills are almost non-existent outside of a small friend group >Meet cute chick I like but half the time I talk to her I start stuttering like a retard or say something autistic as f--- that I don't realize until after I say it What the f--- do I do? I feel like I missed an extremely important piece of youth by not being able to actually talk to people my age during High School. She's nice, I don't want to be a weirdo and make her uncomfortable because I literally just don't know how to talk to people.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon listens wrong people and now house smells funny | /r/Greentext

21m (5/21 6:56) 73394960 21 Re . 7 Img PNG 1MB (1108 × 1079) · 1681548332030504.png 5 Replies >fell for the piss down the air conditioner floor vent meme >urine accumulates at the bottom of the vent and not all of it evaporates >smell won't go away so now parents questioning it All I wanted to do was be able to piss at my desk with no cleanup. Every one of you assholes said it would be fine.

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Anon responds to pronouns | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 6ghMRXw0) 05/20/23(Sat)14:22:01 No.427727678 >>427727947 >>427734196 File: 22C769EC-DE94-4E74-89CA-B(...).jpg (1.16 MB, 1546x2399) >>427725528 (OP) Whenever I'm forced to sit through someone's "preferred pronouns" are, I follow it up asking then they weight and their age. Every response is the same. Shock at first and then ask me why. I say because they're identifying themselves, so needing to know their age and weight is also required. They get confused and embarrassed and then wished they had never mentioned their pronouns.

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Anon tries to play a game | /r/Greentext

>> File: download.jpg (16 KB, 187x269) Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue)16:56:56 No. 266004227 [Reply] Post a character whose name starts with the last letter of the previous character Samus 349 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue) 18:09:27 No.266012605 ▶ >>266012607 Samus >>266012552 Samus Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue)18:09:29 No.266012607 >>266012695 >>266012707 >>266012503 Samus Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue) 18:10:19 No.266012695 >>266012729 Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue)18:10:28 No.266012707 >>266012607 Samus Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue) 18:10:38 No.266012729 >266012695 Samus

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Anon meets a jester in a clown world. | /r/Greentext

!!Qox+zTVtFKD clowns. all of them 70 KB PNG 05/19/23(Fri)17:24:08 No.73381666 >me, a week ago >working boring job >new guy, hated the company using the product and now works here >he's working in HR, I'm a programmer >hear about his antics >one day, attempt to talk to roastie >get the expected "assault! don't touch me!" >I wouldn't touch her if I had to to keep my job >get email from boss about a meeting with HR >okay, great, get to have a meeting with the new guy >log into zoom call, turns out she's here too >he asks me to tell him what I think happened >I tell him >he asks her what she thinks happened >she tries to talk, but loud circus music comes out of new guy's mic >"oh, sorry, what was that?" >tries again, it happens again >happens every time she tries to speak >she leaves, he's cackling >he leaves I think he might just be a good guy. unfortunately haven't heard from him since the end of that day

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Anon learns what being an alpha really means | /r/Greentext

File: 1318048194.png-(20 KB, 800x1000, that feel.png) Anonymous 10/08/11(Sat)00:29 No.9559967 itt we post stories of us being alpha Anonymous 10/08/11(Sat)00:31 No.9559971 that's what he gets for being a poofter >at a (straight) club with my bros >some obviously drunk f----- comes up to me >tells me i have really nice nice eyes and that he just had to come talk to me and he wants to buy me a drink >i have a mind to knock this guy the f--- out >tell him i'm not a f----- and push him really hard >he's on the ground soaking wet from spilling his drink on himself >call my bros over >we're surrounding him and verbally abusing him >he literally starts crying >we tell him to just get the f--- out of here >> Anonymous 10/08/11(Sat)00:32 No.9559988 >>9559970 how was i not alpha? if i'm not alpha then no one is. >>9559967 F---, that's alpha...if you were in 6th grade. take it from a real Alpha >>Go to the library often during finals (junior year) >>Notice this one kid who is always there >>After finals he is still there >>Me and my crew take him in >>Make him feel wanted >>Talk to him >>Find out he's actually a cool guy >>He hides the fact that he's homeless Anonymous 10/08/11(Sat)00:30 No.9559970 Sounds stupid and not alpha, OP. >>Hear stories about homeless college students who sleep in libraries >>Feelsbadman.jpg >>Has no money >>Dude is Auschwitz mode >>Decided College was all he had left >>Grants don't cover room and board >>He was reluctant at first >>He opens up to us about his situation (end of junior year) >>Homeless after his mom died >>Never knew his father >>No brothers or sister 26. >>Told us in a group, we were all crying. >>Manly tears >>No bro left behind >>We offer him our places to stay >>We make sure he take care of him >>4 years go by >>I no longer have a friend >>I now have a brother who is /fit/ >>Dude was pretty prideful, didn't do well taking help >>Made a deal, he accepted our help and he would help me out at the gym as my spotter as well as study (smart m-----------) CARA MENY >>(My family actually adopted him) >>brother has his own place and was crawling in bitches and took one and put a ring on it. That's real alpha mode you d---.

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Anon sucks at life | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: 317F253B-3E1A-45BA-A0AC-1(...).jpg (40 KB, 180x170) 17 Anonymous 05/19/23 (Fri)22:20:10 No.28976719 >>28976729 >high IQ (130-135) >verified by WISC test >incompetent at literally everything (social interaction, working in groups, following simple f------ instructions) Anonymous 05/19/23(Fri)22:31:10 No.28976750 >>28976729 >/adv/ is a board for advice Archived/2/0 I seriously don't know why. I am skilled in learning things such as mathematics, and can construct meaningful philosophical arguments, but my intelligence has given me nothing more. I end up looking like a complete f------ retard in front of other people. I even quit my last job because I was so f------ embarrassed. ☐ Anonymous 05/19/23(Fri)22:24:15 No.28976729 ► >>28976750 >>28976719 (OP) You're retarded lol Source: I'm smart Maybe you should quit being such a frickin nerd

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Anon creates an abomination | /r/Greentext

#1, No. 73387239 34 minutes ago IMG_4465 JPG 1200x1200 101.4 kB > love grilled cheese sandwiches > one day, decide to try a new recipe > get creative with ingredients > instead of regular cheese, use moldy cheese from the back of the fridge > also, decide to add pickles and ketchup for some extra flavor > grill the sandwich until it's crispy on the outside > take a bite with high hopes > immediate regret fills my mouth > the moldy cheese tastes sour and funky > the pickles clash with the cheese and create an odd combination of flavors > the ketchup adds unnecessary sweetness > struggle to swallow the bite > take another bite to give it a second chance > it's even worse than the first > can't bear to finish the sandwich > look at the leftover moldy cheese, pickles, and ketchup > realize it was a terrible idea to combine them in the first place > learn my lesson: stick to the classic grilled cheese recipe > from that day on, never experiment with weird ingredients again

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Anon think he doesn't need money to live | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/23(Sat)08:35:04 No.73297640 IT'S AN ABSTRACT KIND OF HELL 1364136114131.jpg 372 KB JPG >be 38 year old >have nothing to show for myself >no money, no property, no life >the only thing I can offer to someone is my physical body, company and emotional support >that's worth less than nothing I spent my whole life telling myself I didn't need money or things to be happy only to realize that no one else will feel that way and want to be with me.

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it's over - over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GCN 05/19/23(Fri) 20:09:40 No.637673598 BREAKING NEWS BATMAN DEAD? joker.jpg 25 KB JPG >If you want ORDER in the industry, Sony must release one game for the PS5. Oh, and every day they don't, I will pirate a Nintendo game. Starting tonight. I'm a man of my word. >*Link noises* >>637675537 # >>637675652 # >>637676435 # >>637676637 # >>637676639 # >>637676737 # >>637678113 # >>637683886 # >>637685285 # >>637708108 # >>637710935 # >>637715338 # >>637719121 #

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Anon no longer needs to go see Indiana Jones 5 | /r/Greentext

File: 125970541_400848965582983(...).jpg (49 KB, 750x729) MMM UNGHH *MOANS* Anonymous 05/20/23(Sat) 14:51:39 No.899577789 >be me >see comment under a post about a film haven't seen >it's clearly marked 'SPOILERS' >click on it >see spoilers >get angry at person for posting spoilers many such cases

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Anon needs to slap her | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 101 KB JPG 12/10/18(Mon)02:59:48 No.787017374 >be me14 year old betafag >mom died when I was a kid >dad sucks >whatever story time >about 3 years ago >doing homework >at the time rooming with a qt3.14 German girl >usually pretty mean to me >being nice for once so I just appreciate the silence and study >she starts talking to me randomly >"hey anon do you want to kiss me?" >I say "what?" >"a kiss, have you never kissed a girl?" >I nodded yes >"then let's kiss" >Autism kicks in >I ask "but why?" >"because I'm bored anon" >I ask if that's even a reason >"you don't want to kiss on the anniversary of your mother's death anon? Afraid she's watching from heaven?" >mfw

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Anon finds furry server | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/02/13 (Mon) 08:13 No. 207974324 Replies: >>207974487 >>207974667 >>207975697 >>207975878 > File: 1378124034834.jpg-(133 KB, 550x413, 1365847273737.jpg) > couple of nights ago >playing TF2 >random >get into game, it's Upwards > "Welcome to The Furry Pound" >oh please god no What the f--- man > there's furry sprays all over the spawn >nobody's really fighting, they're only moving the cart to extend time >all talking about they're favorite animals and what they'd like to do to each other >find a couple of guys grouped up under the last area where you push the cart to win >kill them >get warned saying I killed the "babies" in the nursery > some guy asks me what my favorite animal is >tell him fish >tells me he wants to swim in my ass like a trout >mfw this whole experience

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