Anon listens wrong people and now house smells funny | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

21m (5/21 6:56) 73394960 21 Re . 7 Img PNG 1MB (1108 × 1079) · 1681548332030504.png 5 Replies >fell for the piss down the air conditioner floor vent meme >urine accumulates at the bottom of the vent and not all of it evaporates >smell won't go away so now parents questioning it All I wanted to do was be able to piss at my desk with no cleanup. Every one of you assholes said it would be fine.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon responds to pronouns | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 6ghMRXw0) 05/20/23(Sat)14:22:01 No.427727678 >>427727947 >>427734196 File: 22C769EC-DE94-4E74-89CA-B(...).jpg (1.16 MB, 1546x2399) >>427725528 (OP) Whenever I'm forced to sit through someone's "preferred pronouns" are, I follow it up asking then they weight and their age. Every response is the same. Shock at first and then ask me why. I say because they're identifying themselves, so needing to know their age and weight is also required. They get confused and embarrassed and then wished they had never mentioned their pronouns.

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Anon tries to play a game | /r/Greentext

>> File: download.jpg (16 KB, 187x269) Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue)16:56:56 No. 266004227 [Reply] Post a character whose name starts with the last letter of the previous character Samus 349 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue) 18:09:27 No.266012605 ▶ >>266012607 Samus >>266012552 Samus Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue)18:09:29 No.266012607 >>266012695 >>266012707 >>266012503 Samus Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue) 18:10:19 No.266012695 >>266012729 Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue)18:10:28 No.266012707 >>266012607 Samus Anonymous 09/30/14(Tue) 18:10:38 No.266012729 >266012695 Samus

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Anon meets a jester in a clown world. | /r/Greentext

!!Qox+zTVtFKD clowns. all of them 70 KB PNG 05/19/23(Fri)17:24:08 No.73381666 >me, a week ago >working boring job >new guy, hated the company using the product and now works here >he's working in HR, I'm a programmer >hear about his antics >one day, attempt to talk to roastie >get the expected "assault! don't touch me!" >I wouldn't touch her if I had to to keep my job >get email from boss about a meeting with HR >okay, great, get to have a meeting with the new guy >log into zoom call, turns out she's here too >he asks me to tell him what I think happened >I tell him >he asks her what she thinks happened >she tries to talk, but loud circus music comes out of new guy's mic >"oh, sorry, what was that?" >tries again, it happens again >happens every time she tries to speak >she leaves, he's cackling >he leaves I think he might just be a good guy. unfortunately haven't heard from him since the end of that day

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Anon learns what being an alpha really means | /r/Greentext

File: 1318048194.png-(20 KB, 800x1000, that feel.png) Anonymous 10/08/11(Sat)00:29 No.9559967 itt we post stories of us being alpha Anonymous 10/08/11(Sat)00:31 No.9559971 that's what he gets for being a poofter >at a (straight) club with my bros >some obviously drunk f----- comes up to me >tells me i have really nice nice eyes and that he just had to come talk to me and he wants to buy me a drink >i have a mind to knock this guy the f--- out >tell him i'm not a f----- and push him really hard >he's on the ground soaking wet from spilling his drink on himself >call my bros over >we're surrounding him and verbally abusing him >he literally starts crying >we tell him to just get the f--- out of here >> Anonymous 10/08/11(Sat)00:32 No.9559988 >>9559970 how was i not alpha? if i'm not alpha then no one is. >>9559967 F---, that's alpha...if you were in 6th grade. take it from a real Alpha >>Go to the library often during finals (junior year) >>Notice this one kid who is always there >>After finals he is still there >>Me and my crew take him in >>Make him feel wanted >>Talk to him >>Find out he's actually a cool guy >>He hides the fact that he's homeless Anonymous 10/08/11(Sat)00:30 No.9559970 Sounds stupid and not alpha, OP. >>Hear stories about homeless college students who sleep in libraries >>Feelsbadman.jpg >>Has no money >>Dude is Auschwitz mode >>Decided College was all he had left >>Grants don't cover room and board >>He was reluctant at first >>He opens up to us about his situation (end of junior year) >>Homeless after his mom died >>Never knew his father >>No brothers or sister 26. >>Told us in a group, we were all crying. >>Manly tears >>No bro left behind >>We offer him our places to stay >>We make sure he take care of him >>4 years go by >>I no longer have a friend >>I now have a brother who is /fit/ >>Dude was pretty prideful, didn't do well taking help >>Made a deal, he accepted our help and he would help me out at the gym as my spotter as well as study (smart m-----------) CARA MENY >>(My family actually adopted him) >>brother has his own place and was crawling in bitches and took one and put a ring on it. That's real alpha mode you d---.

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Anon sucks at life | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: 317F253B-3E1A-45BA-A0AC-1(...).jpg (40 KB, 180x170) 17 Anonymous 05/19/23 (Fri)22:20:10 No.28976719 >>28976729 >high IQ (130-135) >verified by WISC test >incompetent at literally everything (social interaction, working in groups, following simple f------ instructions) Anonymous 05/19/23(Fri)22:31:10 No.28976750 >>28976729 >/adv/ is a board for advice Archived/2/0 I seriously don't know why. I am skilled in learning things such as mathematics, and can construct meaningful philosophical arguments, but my intelligence has given me nothing more. I end up looking like a complete f------ retard in front of other people. I even quit my last job because I was so f------ embarrassed. ☐ Anonymous 05/19/23(Fri)22:24:15 No.28976729 ► >>28976750 >>28976719 (OP) You're retarded lol Source: I'm smart Maybe you should quit being such a frickin nerd

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Anon creates an abomination | /r/Greentext

#1, No. 73387239 34 minutes ago IMG_4465 JPG 1200x1200 101.4 kB > love grilled cheese sandwiches > one day, decide to try a new recipe > get creative with ingredients > instead of regular cheese, use moldy cheese from the back of the fridge > also, decide to add pickles and ketchup for some extra flavor > grill the sandwich until it's crispy on the outside > take a bite with high hopes > immediate regret fills my mouth > the moldy cheese tastes sour and funky > the pickles clash with the cheese and create an odd combination of flavors > the ketchup adds unnecessary sweetness > struggle to swallow the bite > take another bite to give it a second chance > it's even worse than the first > can't bear to finish the sandwich > look at the leftover moldy cheese, pickles, and ketchup > realize it was a terrible idea to combine them in the first place > learn my lesson: stick to the classic grilled cheese recipe > from that day on, never experiment with weird ingredients again

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Anon think he doesn't need money to live | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/23(Sat)08:35:04 No.73297640 IT'S AN ABSTRACT KIND OF HELL 1364136114131.jpg 372 KB JPG >be 38 year old >have nothing to show for myself >no money, no property, no life >the only thing I can offer to someone is my physical body, company and emotional support >that's worth less than nothing I spent my whole life telling myself I didn't need money or things to be happy only to realize that no one else will feel that way and want to be with me.

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it's over - over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GCN 05/19/23(Fri) 20:09:40 No.637673598 BREAKING NEWS BATMAN DEAD? joker.jpg 25 KB JPG >If you want ORDER in the industry, Sony must release one game for the PS5. Oh, and every day they don't, I will pirate a Nintendo game. Starting tonight. I'm a man of my word. >*Link noises* >>637675537 # >>637675652 # >>637676435 # >>637676637 # >>637676639 # >>637676737 # >>637678113 # >>637683886 # >>637685285 # >>637708108 # >>637710935 # >>637715338 # >>637719121 #

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Anon no longer needs to go see Indiana Jones 5 | /r/Greentext

File: 125970541_400848965582983(...).jpg (49 KB, 750x729) MMM UNGHH *MOANS* Anonymous 05/20/23(Sat) 14:51:39 No.899577789 >be me >see comment under a post about a film haven't seen >it's clearly marked 'SPOILERS' >click on it >see spoilers >get angry at person for posting spoilers many such cases

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Anon needs to slap her | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 101 KB JPG 12/10/18(Mon)02:59:48 No.787017374 >be me14 year old betafag >mom died when I was a kid >dad sucks >whatever story time >about 3 years ago >doing homework >at the time rooming with a qt3.14 German girl >usually pretty mean to me >being nice for once so I just appreciate the silence and study >she starts talking to me randomly >"hey anon do you want to kiss me?" >I say "what?" >"a kiss, have you never kissed a girl?" >I nodded yes >"then let's kiss" >Autism kicks in >I ask "but why?" >"because I'm bored anon" >I ask if that's even a reason >"you don't want to kiss on the anniversary of your mother's death anon? Afraid she's watching from heaven?" >mfw

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Anon finds furry server | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/02/13 (Mon) 08:13 No. 207974324 Replies: >>207974487 >>207974667 >>207975697 >>207975878 > File: 1378124034834.jpg-(133 KB, 550x413, 1365847273737.jpg) > couple of nights ago >playing TF2 >random >get into game, it's Upwards > "Welcome to The Furry Pound" >oh please god no What the f--- man > there's furry sprays all over the spawn >nobody's really fighting, they're only moving the cart to extend time >all talking about they're favorite animals and what they'd like to do to each other >find a couple of guys grouped up under the last area where you push the cart to win >kill them >get warned saying I killed the "babies" in the nursery > some guy asks me what my favorite animal is >tell him fish >tells me he wants to swim in my ass like a trout >mfw this whole experience

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Anon has black cat | /r/Greentext

>be me >have a black cat >talk s--- to the black cat on a regular basis for amusement >like to use racial slurs >for example >"what are you looking at you chinky eyed motherf ker?" >"quit your moaning nier I'm coming with food right now" 18 KB JPG >absolutely fu ing adore this cat >earlier today, hit the pet store for kitty kibble >always get the best quality stuff although I eat trash >there's a qt there >around my age, holding a small black kitten >she looks a little overwhelemed >take a deep breath, approach the qt >my guts are quivering as I haven't spoken to a female in months >say "hey! You look like you need some help, if you want good cat food go for high protein and omega 3s, keeps their coat soft and shiny." >she smiles behind her mask >can tell it's genuine and full of warmth >"thank you so much! I've never had a kitten and I want to be sure I take good care of him. Would you like to pet him?" >absolutely yes >scratch his chin >purrs like a boat engine >she laughs and says "awww he likes you!" >chuckle and respond >"yeah, you got yourself a cute little ni " er don't you?" >she stiffens >stammers >"uhm, what??" >immediately realize w-- i just said >"uhhhhhh UUHHHMM YEAH HE'S CUTE RIGHT HAHA" >visibly shaking, mound of spaghetti at feet >she looks around awkwardly >"yeah uhm, thanks for the help I should probably get him home." >before I can respond she turns and walks away >could practically vomit in the aisle >get the food, trudge to checkout >see her in another aisle >is standing with a nir erchad >are you f------ kidding me? >remain depressed and disgusted with self >get home >see cat >call him a riger on principle

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