Anon sucks at life | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: 317F253B-3E1A-45BA-A0AC-1(...).jpg (40 KB, 180x170) 17 Anonymous 05/19/23 (Fri)22:20:10 No.28976719 >>28976729 >high IQ (130-135) >verified by WISC test >incompetent at literally everything (social interaction, working in groups, following simple f------ instructions) Anonymous 05/19/23(Fri)22:31:10 No.28976750 >>28976729 >/adv/ is a board for advice Archived/2/0 I seriously don't know why. I am skilled in learning things such as mathematics, and can construct meaningful philosophical arguments, but my intelligence has given me nothing more. I end up looking like a complete f------ retard in front of other people. I even quit my last job because I was so f------ embarrassed. ☐ Anonymous 05/19/23(Fri)22:24:15 No.28976729 ► >>28976750 >>28976719 (OP) You're retarded lol Source: I'm smart Maybe you should quit being such a frickin nerd

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon creates an abomination | /r/Greentext

#1, No. 73387239 34 minutes ago IMG_4465 JPG 1200x1200 101.4 kB > love grilled cheese sandwiches > one day, decide to try a new recipe > get creative with ingredients > instead of regular cheese, use moldy cheese from the back of the fridge > also, decide to add pickles and ketchup for some extra flavor > grill the sandwich until it's crispy on the outside > take a bite with high hopes > immediate regret fills my mouth > the moldy cheese tastes sour and funky > the pickles clash with the cheese and create an odd combination of flavors > the ketchup adds unnecessary sweetness > struggle to swallow the bite > take another bite to give it a second chance > it's even worse than the first > can't bear to finish the sandwich > look at the leftover moldy cheese, pickles, and ketchup > realize it was a terrible idea to combine them in the first place > learn my lesson: stick to the classic grilled cheese recipe > from that day on, never experiment with weird ingredients again

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Anon think he doesn't need money to live | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/23(Sat)08:35:04 No.73297640 IT'S AN ABSTRACT KIND OF HELL 1364136114131.jpg 372 KB JPG >be 38 year old >have nothing to show for myself >no money, no property, no life >the only thing I can offer to someone is my physical body, company and emotional support >that's worth less than nothing I spent my whole life telling myself I didn't need money or things to be happy only to realize that no one else will feel that way and want to be with me.

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it's over - over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GCN 05/19/23(Fri) 20:09:40 No.637673598 BREAKING NEWS BATMAN DEAD? joker.jpg 25 KB JPG >If you want ORDER in the industry, Sony must release one game for the PS5. Oh, and every day they don't, I will pirate a Nintendo game. Starting tonight. I'm a man of my word. >*Link noises* >>637675537 # >>637675652 # >>637676435 # >>637676637 # >>637676639 # >>637676737 # >>637678113 # >>637683886 # >>637685285 # >>637708108 # >>637710935 # >>637715338 # >>637719121 #

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Anon no longer needs to go see Indiana Jones 5 | /r/Greentext

File: 125970541_400848965582983(...).jpg (49 KB, 750x729) MMM UNGHH *MOANS* Anonymous 05/20/23(Sat) 14:51:39 No.899577789 >be me >see comment under a post about a film haven't seen >it's clearly marked 'SPOILERS' >click on it >see spoilers >get angry at person for posting spoilers many such cases

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Anon needs to slap her | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 101 KB JPG 12/10/18(Mon)02:59:48 No.787017374 >be me14 year old betafag >mom died when I was a kid >dad sucks >whatever story time >about 3 years ago >doing homework >at the time rooming with a qt3.14 German girl >usually pretty mean to me >being nice for once so I just appreciate the silence and study >she starts talking to me randomly >"hey anon do you want to kiss me?" >I say "what?" >"a kiss, have you never kissed a girl?" >I nodded yes >"then let's kiss" >Autism kicks in >I ask "but why?" >"because I'm bored anon" >I ask if that's even a reason >"you don't want to kiss on the anniversary of your mother's death anon? Afraid she's watching from heaven?" >mfw

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Anon finds furry server | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/02/13 (Mon) 08:13 No. 207974324 Replies: >>207974487 >>207974667 >>207975697 >>207975878 > File: 1378124034834.jpg-(133 KB, 550x413, 1365847273737.jpg) > couple of nights ago >playing TF2 >random >get into game, it's Upwards > "Welcome to The Furry Pound" >oh please god no What the f--- man > there's furry sprays all over the spawn >nobody's really fighting, they're only moving the cart to extend time >all talking about they're favorite animals and what they'd like to do to each other >find a couple of guys grouped up under the last area where you push the cart to win >kill them >get warned saying I killed the "babies" in the nursery > some guy asks me what my favorite animal is >tell him fish >tells me he wants to swim in my ass like a trout >mfw this whole experience

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Anon has black cat | /r/Greentext

>be me >have a black cat >talk s--- to the black cat on a regular basis for amusement >like to use racial slurs >for example >"what are you looking at you chinky eyed motherf ker?" >"quit your moaning nier I'm coming with food right now" 18 KB JPG >absolutely fu ing adore this cat >earlier today, hit the pet store for kitty kibble >always get the best quality stuff although I eat trash >there's a qt there >around my age, holding a small black kitten >she looks a little overwhelemed >take a deep breath, approach the qt >my guts are quivering as I haven't spoken to a female in months >say "hey! You look like you need some help, if you want good cat food go for high protein and omega 3s, keeps their coat soft and shiny." >she smiles behind her mask >can tell it's genuine and full of warmth >"thank you so much! I've never had a kitten and I want to be sure I take good care of him. Would you like to pet him?" >absolutely yes >scratch his chin >purrs like a boat engine >she laughs and says "awww he likes you!" >chuckle and respond >"yeah, you got yourself a cute little ni " er don't you?" >she stiffens >stammers >"uhm, what??" >immediately realize w-- i just said >"uhhhhhh UUHHHMM YEAH HE'S CUTE RIGHT HAHA" >visibly shaking, mound of spaghetti at feet >she looks around awkwardly >"yeah uhm, thanks for the help I should probably get him home." >before I can respond she turns and walks away >could practically vomit in the aisle >get the food, trudge to checkout >see her in another aisle >is standing with a nir erchad >are you f------ kidding me? >remain depressed and disgusted with self >get home >see cat >call him a riger on principle

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[redtext] the duality of chan | /r/Greentext

05/16/23(Tue)01:09:55 No.73332280 I f------ hate men. You're all disgusting, perverted, heartless beings. You think you can feel love, but you can't. You all are the same. You make me gag. You are severely f----- up mentally and I despise you. You have the brains of feral f------ animals, all you think about when you see a woman is f------ her. You all are disgusting I hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i f------ hate you i hate you i hate you you ruined my life 145 Replies / 18 Images Anonymous 896 KB PNG View Thread 05/16/23(Tue)14:30:58 No.73338175 Anonymous >>73332280 (OP) # I f------ love men. You're all handsome, thoughtful, kind hearted beings. You all have capacity to feel love. You all are special. You make me sing. You are severely loved up mentally and I adore you. You have the brains of kind f------ animals, all you think about when you see a woman is protecting her. You all are amazing I love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i f------ love you i love you i love you you enriched my life

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adventure time greentext | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Unimpressed human.png, 59KiB, 226x254 Sandanon Fri 26 Nov 2021 10:42:04 No.127263610 >Be me, a human >Always wanted to go somewhere other than the islands but I sorta accepted it would never happen on account of the seekers and the Collossus. >Some kid shows up with a seeker one day >Wait, didn't she leave, like, years ago? >h-------- his dog is a mutant >Minerva bots come in and arrest them View Report >well that's good. >A few hours later we're all about to be assimilated unwillingly into a cyber cloud >Huh. I guess cyberpunk dystopia novels from 1000 years ago were still pretty accurate >Well we're f----- >Oh it's over >The kid from across the sea is the son of THE ACTUAL MINERVA >I guess he did kinda look like a helper with that hat >He and Minerva shut down the cyclops >we're allowed to leave >H--------, we can leave now >Everyone celebrates but doesn't want to leave right now >We still got s--- to finish up >I start packing immediately >A storm rolls over after they leave >I sit in the rain and relax, I've always loved it and now I can enjoy it more than ever >A few months later we're all ready >The other humans and I are all ready to sail across the ocean to the mainland >We're warned that there IS still actually danger there >I don't give a s---, I finally get to see what it's like >There's mutants made of candy and a Vampire but they're cool >Minerva's kid apparently stopped a massive war and helped defeat a god while we were getting ready >Now i care even less about the danger here when we got this f----- guy as a hero >I finally set up a new place to live >storm clouds roll in >I set up a lawn chair and get ready to relax in mainland rain for the first time >Mfw I end up in Minervabot intensive care for a week because it f------ rains knives here

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Anon is a president | /r/Greentext

47 KB JPG >be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated

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Anon shows his power level | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 185069804 66.9 kB PNG 19 REPLIES Accidentally Revealed I Was a Chud to My Mother 1 REPLY 2 hr ago ... >watching TV with my mom >Little Mermaid live action trailer comes on >mom complains about how often the commercial comes on and how annoying with how ugly the actress is >agrees with her even though I barely watch TV and it's my first time watching the commercial >"Yeah mom, black people are so ugly. Why couldn't they get a cute white girl with red hair?" >mom says she's not ugly because she's black, she's ugly because she's ugly, in fact she doesn't even have to be white or have red hair, just be a pretty actress >don't know what to say so I said "Okay" Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever revealed your power level to your parents? 4 IMAGES Anonymous 185069853 don't worry. i'll smooth things over with your mom tonight. REPLY 2 hr ago...

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anon is a 2% north asian | /r/Greentext

File: 230328083823-03-body-mong(...).jpg (142 KB, 1280x720) ■ mongolia Anonymous (ID: Q3laADol) >> >> 05/19/23(Fri)21:09:28 No.17679800 Mongolia is unironically the coolest nation on earth >casually had 2nd biggest empire on earth, lasted like 160 years and had 0 government aside from technically living under the khan & sometimes having to house soldiers >????? >became a puppet of the Soviets >Leader of Mongolia SSR Slapped stalin in the face for wanting to make Mongolia an atheist state >abolished their old government in the 90s >is essentially just a nomad state >1/3 of their population is nomad herders >its legal to just camp wherever you want like an open-world video game, nomad traders camp outside of cities >Capitol city is unpolluted with little traffic >People always share meals with travelers >Literally nothing happens ever >Everyone's happy you WILL live in nature, you WILL eat healthy meats and greens, you WILL own everything you need Anonymous (ID: (mTr44RWT) 05/19/23(Fri)21:14:47 No.17679809 ► >>17679814 meanwhile OP leads a sedentary suburban life playing videogames while casually passing judgement on other culture while comparing them to the videogames Anonymous (ID: Q3laADol) 05/19/23(Fri)21:16:40 No.17679814 ► >>17679809 what are you gonna do about it big boy

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