adventure time greentext | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Unimpressed human.png, 59KiB, 226x254 Sandanon Fri 26 Nov 2021 10:42:04 No.127263610 >Be me, a human >Always wanted to go somewhere other than the islands but I sorta accepted it would never happen on account of the seekers and the Collossus. >Some kid shows up with a seeker one day >Wait, didn't she leave, like, years ago? >h-------- his dog is a mutant >Minerva bots come in and arrest them View Report >well that's good. >A few hours later we're all about to be assimilated unwillingly into a cyber cloud >Huh. I guess cyberpunk dystopia novels from 1000 years ago were still pretty accurate >Well we're f----- >Oh it's over >The kid from across the sea is the son of THE ACTUAL MINERVA >I guess he did kinda look like a helper with that hat >He and Minerva shut down the cyclops >we're allowed to leave >H--------, we can leave now >Everyone celebrates but doesn't want to leave right now >We still got s--- to finish up >I start packing immediately >A storm rolls over after they leave >I sit in the rain and relax, I've always loved it and now I can enjoy it more than ever >A few months later we're all ready >The other humans and I are all ready to sail across the ocean to the mainland >We're warned that there IS still actually danger there >I don't give a s---, I finally get to see what it's like >There's mutants made of candy and a Vampire but they're cool >Minerva's kid apparently stopped a massive war and helped defeat a god while we were getting ready >Now i care even less about the danger here when we got this f----- guy as a hero >I finally set up a new place to live >storm clouds roll in >I set up a lawn chair and get ready to relax in mainland rain for the first time >Mfw I end up in Minervabot intensive care for a week because it f------ rains knives here

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a president | /r/Greentext

47 KB JPG >be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated

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Anon shows his power level | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 185069804 66.9 kB PNG 19 REPLIES Accidentally Revealed I Was a Chud to My Mother 1 REPLY 2 hr ago ... >watching TV with my mom >Little Mermaid live action trailer comes on >mom complains about how often the commercial comes on and how annoying with how ugly the actress is >agrees with her even though I barely watch TV and it's my first time watching the commercial >"Yeah mom, black people are so ugly. Why couldn't they get a cute white girl with red hair?" >mom says she's not ugly because she's black, she's ugly because she's ugly, in fact she doesn't even have to be white or have red hair, just be a pretty actress >don't know what to say so I said "Okay" Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever revealed your power level to your parents? 4 IMAGES Anonymous 185069853 don't worry. i'll smooth things over with your mom tonight. REPLY 2 hr ago...

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anon is a 2% north asian | /r/Greentext

File: 230328083823-03-body-mong(...).jpg (142 KB, 1280x720) ■ mongolia Anonymous (ID: Q3laADol) >> >> 05/19/23(Fri)21:09:28 No.17679800 Mongolia is unironically the coolest nation on earth >casually had 2nd biggest empire on earth, lasted like 160 years and had 0 government aside from technically living under the khan & sometimes having to house soldiers >????? >became a puppet of the Soviets >Leader of Mongolia SSR Slapped stalin in the face for wanting to make Mongolia an atheist state >abolished their old government in the 90s >is essentially just a nomad state >1/3 of their population is nomad herders >its legal to just camp wherever you want like an open-world video game, nomad traders camp outside of cities >Capitol city is unpolluted with little traffic >People always share meals with travelers >Literally nothing happens ever >Everyone's happy you WILL live in nature, you WILL eat healthy meats and greens, you WILL own everything you need Anonymous (ID: (mTr44RWT) 05/19/23(Fri)21:14:47 No.17679809 ► >>17679814 meanwhile OP leads a sedentary suburban life playing videogames while casually passing judgement on other culture while comparing them to the videogames Anonymous (ID: Q3laADol) 05/19/23(Fri)21:16:40 No.17679814 ► >>17679809 what are you gonna do about it big boy

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Anon discovers the India effect | /r/Greentext

Women are wearing a 'safety layer' over their outfits in public to deter 'creepy' men - with many labelling it 'sad but necessary' By Ellen Coughlan For Mailonline 10:48 17 May 2023, updated 12:16 17 May 2023 Tok women.jpg 37 KB JPG hey, maybe if we leave women alone a couple more thousands of year they will end up re-creating civilization Anonymous (ID: L9bdS3va TRA 05/19/23(Fri)13:42:59 No.427587513 WOMEN ACCIDENTALLY DISCOVER MODESTY! H--------! >>427587669 # >>427589993 # >>427594085 # >>427594697 # >>427595190 # >>427604453 # >>427604500 # >>427605112 # >>427605918 # >>427606616 # >>427612977 # >>427618154 # >>427633550 # Anonymous (ID: Pgdjp6hh) — 05/19/23(Fri)13:43:21 No.42758754: >>427587448 (OP) # The India effect. We induce modesty in women >>427594085 # >>427600875 # >>427602349 # >>427602810 # >>427602953 # >>427604776 # >>427604809 # >>427605268 # >>427605913 # >>427606007 # >>427607070 # >>427608792 # >>427612717 # >>427614123 # >>427622984 # >>427625615 #

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The Duality of Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous LIMITED TIME ONLY! 05/19/23(Fri)17:06:55 No.73379069 PRINGLES FIRST WE FEAST PRESENTS HOT ONES. Seite far Les Calientes VERDE NATURAL FLAVOR 156 g 5f91b666-27fb-4cd1-96a8- a9fabee11276.b5737cdb3e450f7edbc61c730180e091.jpg 23 KB JPG Why does seeing the Pringle guy in pain make me feel sad? : Anonymous >>73379069 (OP) # You're probably just a very empathetic person. Maybe a bit overly so, but it's not a bad trait to have overall. 05/19/23(Fri)17:19:56 No.73379244 05/19/23(Fri)17:20:03 No.73379245 : Anonymous >>73379069 (OP) # Probably because you are a limp wristed c--- monger

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Every. Single. Time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Just got topped ama 346 KB JPG 01/29/22(Sat) 16:01:59 No.67201672 >Straight gayest s--- youve ever read

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Went on 4chan for green texts and discovered I could pirate jiu jitsu instructionals instead | /r/Greentext

Anonymous STANDING2GROUND TAKEDOWNS & STANDING SKILLS FOR JIU-JITSU JOHN DANAHER IFA CW 14 KB JPG hn%20Danaher 1 Reply 05/16/23(Tue)13:41:48 No.1229003 Martial arts instructionals I'm looking for either gordans of danahers leg attack instructional magnet:?xt=urn:btih:665b0386e9e1863 b0ccb4ca106f7878834336d6d&dn=New%20 Wave%20Jiu%20Jitsu%20-%20Closed%20G uard%20-%20Building%20A%20Complete% 20Closed%20Guard%20System%20By%20Jo Closed guard -Building a complete closed guard system Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. Anonymous just shoot them??? View Thread 05/16/23(Tue)19:01:19 No.1229110

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Anon gives relationship advice | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: 1641410061539.jpg (58 KB, 1000x1024) List of women's profession that are full of sluts Anonymous 05/12/23 (Fri)02:09:15 No.73288565 ► Here is a list of professions that if a woman has you should avoid dating her if you don't want a slut for a partner. Feel free to add more and if possible explain why. Professions where women are LESS inclined to cheat on partners are also welcomed. >Actress It is a profession insert into an environment formed by extremely progressive people and whose nature of work means that the woman has to expose her body, use sensuality and play roles where there is intimate physical contact with work partners. Breaking taboos related to sexuality, politically supporting feminism and submitting to sexual situations for better roles is also common in this environment. >Military It is a profession where there is a much higher proportion of men in relation to women and this makes a single woman to be desired by many men (some with authority over her) in addition to being an environment where masculinity prevails, it also occurs in situations where she will be in isolation with several men for a long period of time and also bored. The military is also a profession which has one of the highest relationship infidelity rates among other professions, both by men and women. This also applies to cops. >Nursing This profession is mostly made up of women and this contributes to betrayal and promiscuous behavior as it is an environment where she is unlikely to be judged by her peers for doing something considered "sexist" today (being promiscuos) 1/0 In addition to long working hours where sometimes not much happens (night shift) and submission to authority by some men (doctors) makes the risk of infidelity higher in this field of work. Just like the military, it is also one of the professions with the highest percentage of infidelity. (1/2) Anonymous 05/12/23(Fri)02:10:11 No.73288569 ► >Teaching (Especially high school) It's a profession where women are surrounded by hormone-ridden teenagers at the height of their physical health and the social pressure to stand out is immense. This makes relationships between younger female teachers and teenage boys more common than it seems (just look up in the news). There is a lot of fetishization by young people about their attractive female teachers and the taboo and emotion of being involved in a forbidden relationship is attractive to some women. >stewardess Again a field of work dominated by women and with male partners of authority (pilots) but the biggest risk in this work is that they travel a lot, which implies spending days away from home, in cultures with different people and without any connection to acquaintances, which could prevent her promiscuous behavior due to fear of being caught. I also suggest avoiding women who are too political and vocal about it. It doesn't matter which side she believes. (2/2)

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Anon is Indian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 89 KB WEBP 20/5/2023, 12:10:57 AM No.67839274 > be me > India > rich and famous > 15th century >reads newspaper > "some Italian dude wanted to visit us to buy turmeric but instead looses his direction and discovers America" Few years later > Bunch of white dudes from Portugal lands in Goa > says they have come to trade with us > *fair deal I thought* Next day > Another bunch of white dudes lands > Says they are the Dutch, English and French. > says they too have come here for the same purpose > *starts fighting with each other* > English guy wins > starts to monopolize the lucrative spice trade and spread Christianity > *establishes trading posts and acquires territories. > *Builds fortresses >I say that's unfair and challenge him for a duel > *gets defeated in the Battle of Plassey > English guy takes control over Bengal (the wealthiest province) > *gets defeated again in the Battle of Buxar* > Colonizes entire India > imposes heavy taxes,deindustrialised indigenous industries such as textiles, and forcefully replaces them by imported British goods > witness a devastating famine during British rule > British guy says it's your problem Few days later > thought I'll defeat them this time and makes a huge plan > *gets defeated again in the revolt of 1857* > They got improved weapons and guns > kills my family and my friends ruthlessly in the open > made my men their slaves and made them fight their wars Few days later > *knock knock it's Gandhi > Says he will not eat untill the British leaves the country > British *leaves* > me bewildered - "W-- is this?" > however they leaves me at my worst condition possible Years passes by but still the pain of loosing by family and friends haunts me.... > Decides I'll take my revenge > *Sets up call centres all over my country and starts to call and scam them* > Oh god this has became my favourite hobby since then.

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Anon is 11 years old. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 17 KB JPG 04/14/21(Wed)20:06:57 No.63219574 hi my name is Alvin I am 11 years old I really like among us and memes and I have seen a lot of funny 4chan stories on reddit. I wrote this song about Among us for you guys I hope it's funny and please share other cool stuff with me thanks > oh yea when the imposster is sussy > I do your mom in the p---- > sussy sussy sussy > your fat moms p---- > if you are sus > you ride the short bus

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Anon scores a date with his power of autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SAMT/Xyf) Why is this allowed? 05/11/23(Thu)16:04:39 No.426636622 >>426659604 # : Anonymous (ID: GKj5g0ch ) [] >>426636622 (OP) # Pure autism, cute GMA Close 05/11/23(Thu)16:05:54 No.426636699 : Anonymous (ID: s7q8eszz) Wait.... chud is teen-age american high-school meme? Please Come with me to prom! 05/11/23(Thu)16:08:06 No.426636836 I thought it was a 30+ year old boomer meme on 4chan (²3) >>426637231 # >>426637237 # >>426637277 # >>426645362 # >>426650333 # >>426653408 # >>426653573 # >>426659403 # >>426659604 # : Anonymous (ID: CZAKs5kq) → File (hide): 1683693754142.jpg (379.72 KB, 1380x1078, WIN_20230510_00_36_36_Pro.jpg) ImgOps 05/11/23(Thu)16:09:49 No.426636951 ROMEFELL... AND I HAVE FOR YOU... Prom Poster Chud 23 hours ago Nº3136906 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts] Guhhh. Will I get a prom date with this s--- I will be presenting this To a lucky femoid tommorow I need ritalin 1191 posts and 358 image replies omitted. Click to expand. FVOUIU7WCAA0B_-.jpg 298 KB JPG The west is saved, billions will live >>426637052 # >>426637259 # >>426638800 # >>426643410 # >>426643678 # >>426643718 # >>426643772 # >>426644399 # >>426644591 # >>426645010 # >>426645099 # >>426645214 # >>426645307 # >>426645931 # >>426646515 # >>426646579 # >>426647373 # >>426649202 # >>426653508 # >>426653592 #

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Anon feels conflicted for having conscience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: rCQJBHYO) I saved a black toddler from g(...) Two days ago, I was walking down the sidewalk in the city, and a black toddler, maybe around two years old, was running away from his mom. The mom was speed walking and kept yelling at him to come back. He eventually gets close to me, while the mom is around 30 feet away, when he decides to jolt towards the road. There are cars coming at 40 mph or so, and I instinctively ran into the road, grabbed him, and got back to the sidewalk. The car didn't even stop. Had I not been there, that little kid would have gotten hit. I had the kid in my hands, and the mom was scolding him for the next 20 seconds. She then thanks me for getting him before the car passed by. And that was it. 1.24 MB JPG 05/08/23(Mon)23:33:34 No.426310646 I'm a white nationalist, and I saved this little black kid, potentially from dying, and it just feels weird. He will probably grow up to hate whites, vote democrat, maybe join a gang, and be a on welfare. But white empathy saved him. I feel just very conflicted about it. Would I have saved him again? Yes, but I feel like what happened to me is a reflection of what's happening to our race. We are risking our lives to help non-whites, people who largely despise us, and expecting nothing in return. We are setting ourselves up for ethnic replacement by being kind to non-whites. Our altruism may be our downfall. Pic is the road. : Anonymous (ID: sQYUAztm Based 05/08/23 (Mon)23:36:36 No.426310976 : Anonymous (ID: shoU28T2 ) 05/08/23(Mon)23:36:52 No.426311007 you sound like a psychopath >>426312010 # >>426312640 # >>426316769 # >>426318921 # >>426319677 # >>426319691 # >>426319889 # : Anonymous (ID: pqvR1s2f 05/08/23 (Mon)23:38:52 No.426311227 >>426310646 (OP) # That n----- will grow up to murder grow up to murder you in your old age >>426312758 # >>426314557 # >>426317810 # >>426320279 #

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