anon gives amazing life advice about breakups | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 46 KB JPG Why the f--- do you care? If someone leaves you, they are saying they don't want to care about you anymore. Why the f--- would you care about someone who doesn't care about you? She's moved on. She's not making you look like a fool, you're acting like a fool by caring about someone who doesn't care about you. 08/19/22 (Fri)03:27:21 No.884148145 >>884147718 (OP) # >she left you. Okay so she's no longer a part of your life. When I was 26 I tried to kill myself because my girlfriend of 5 years left me for another man. After my twin brother finding me and a 9 hour surgery, 12 days in the trauma unit, 6 days in the behavioral health unit, 10 months of living with my parents, 7 months of unemployment, 5 months of dialectical behavioral therapy, 4 other girls. I learned that I'm pretty cool and I shouldn't waste a squirt of piss (outside of basic human respect.) on people who don't also think I'm pretty cool. The guy she left me for left her for another DUDE. And that was the cherry on top. Nobody can love you until you love yourself: that's the god damn truth. Why should someone love you if you don't even think you deserve love? Today I'm pushing 30, I have a family and a new daughter. I love my life. If I had killed myself over a girl who left me for a f--. I wouldn't get to see the most beautiful smile in the world that is my daughter looking at me. Don't get hung up In the past and what could've been: think of how you can do better. Because you can do better. >>884148218 # >>884148250 # >>884148294 # >>884149154 # >>884149278 # >>884149911 # Anonymous >>884148145 # This : Anonymous >>884148145 # That was god damn beautiful anon Anonymous >>884148145 # holy f------ based. >>884148366 # 08/19/22 (Fri)03:29:59 No.884148218 08/19/22 (Fri)03:30:58 No.884148250 08/19/22 (Fri)03:32:20 No.884148294 your words of wisdom may have actually just saved my life.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon Browses 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/22(Thu)11:54:05 No.69861204 THIS IS FINE. fine.jpg 546 KB JPG >put music on >get on 4chan and stay on 4chan until i pass out from exhaustion >pass out >wake up >get on 4chan again

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Anon was headchef at McD | /r/Greentext

File: 5BDBCD79-DC13-4325-8242-C(...).png (284 KB, 469x452) I just got fired from my job at mcdonalds Anonymous 08/18/22(Thu)08:21:21 No.884093062 >>884093197 >>884093233 >>884094554 >>884094934 >>884094953 >>884095019 >>884095353 >>884095458 >>884095655 >>884095916 >>884096071 >>884096211 >>884096448 I'm literally so f------ p----- right now listen to this s--- >be me, 24 y/o NEET living with parents, never had a job, being forced to work part time at local mcdonalds by my bitch dad >get the job >all my coworkers are f------ stupid telling me how to do s--- i already know how to do >working on grill and some hoe named louise is trying to show me how to grill a f------ burger like im 2 >louise tells me i have to use new sets of blue gloves every f------ time i touch the quarter pounders >i naturally dont give a f--- >after she "shows me the ropes" she leaves to take care of something else and i can finally chill >suddenly everyone starts yelling at me to start cooking meat faster for some f------ reason >holyfuckingshitstfu >i just slap down a f--- ton of meat on the grill just to shut these idiots up >some annoying skinny kid (who is apparantly a manager) cor es over to me >"h-------- anon, w-- are you doing thats way too much” >im literally doing what they f------ told me to do >"do you know how to do grill?" >i say yes because i do, louise literally showed me how to do it 10 f------ thousand times >"bro you're not supposed to put that much meat down it wont cook, here let me show you how to do it" >p----- off i f------ throw the thing on the grill down and the manager kid shouts WHAT THE F--- like a little bitch and then i storm off to the back to cool the f--- off >he gets the head manager who comes back to ask me whats going on >i tell him im trying to do my job and hes getting in the way >manager tells me i "wasnt doing it right" or some s---, i tell him to f--- off and leave me alone >manager tells me how i was cooking too much meat and that i need to man the f--- up and do my job >we start shouting at each other >"THATS IT GET THE F--- OUT NOW" >mfw it wasnt even my choice to work here in the first place

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Serbian anon talks about finland’s prime minister | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: s5a3vrTT FINLAND ELECTED A W---- 433 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri)11:48:24 No.391677415 >start losing weight insanely fast >rumours of drug usage go around but mostly seen in imageboards >couple of times PM purposefully provocates reactions from people by posting social media influencer-tier pictures of herself >she says that she wants to change the image of what prime minister should be >fast forward to this week >some of her C-tier Finnish pop star friends leak a private video of her dancing >references of drug usage can be heard in video >words such as "powder gang" or in Finnish "jauhojengi" are used which are reference to cocaine >opposition leader calls her to go and take a drug test, one of her coalition MPs also says the same >she says that the word "jauhojengi" was misheard >her allies start saying it was "jallujengi" which would be a reference to alcohol >later a tabloid asks 2 experts to analyze the video and say which one was it >they say it is 100% the "powder gang" version >yellow press leaks information of her being unfaithful to her husband >Sanna danced intimately with at least three different men. She also sat on the laps of two different men. The Prime Minister held her hand on one man's chest and he held her gently by the arm. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

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Anon’s Sadness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous He was a single Dad with three kids, struggling with crushing debt of over $20,000 and was desperately waiting for a Payday loan he'd applied for. But it was paid in arrears, with a 5 week wait time. That wait drove him even deeper into debt, and when he died he had $4.61 in his bank account and clearly couldn't see any other way out. 57 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri)11:14:14 No.884141446 This is the final photograph of Phillip Herron 34, crying in his car, literally minutes before taking his own life. Like a lot of people, especially men, he kept all of this to himself, nobody else knew how bad things were getting. This poor man even had to tell his children that Santa Claus wouldn't come this year, and in his suicide note he wrote that they'd be better off if he wasn't around any more. And now he isn't. We need to talk more. We need to be kinder. And we need to be a country that helps each other when we need it the most. RIP

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anon hates school (me too) | /r/Greentext

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We interrupt this program to bring you a lesson on the history of 4Chan | /r/Greentext

foone Follow Hey fun fact: at one point around 2006, moot of 4chan fame was wanting to build a new feature where 4chan users could list where they were located and meet up. It was gonna be called like "4meet" but the goal he had in mind was always that it could be used as a dating service, for 4chan users. Unfortunately, the programmer working on it ran into a bunch of problems (mainly ADHD motivation issues) and it never got completed, and the programmer was fired. That programmer was me. You're f------ welcome. Imagine how much worse the world would be had 4chan included a f------ DATING SERVICE. hummerous Follow Thank you for your (lack of) service

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Anon has a penis | /r/Greentext

4h (8/19 2:05). 69865366 15 Re4 Img. JPG 844KB (900 × 1185) 5 Replies やっぱり変じゃない? 1-7 + >measure penis >it's bigger than it was before what gives anons 4h (8/19 2:10). 69865437 1 Reply . >>69865366 (OP) >measure penis >it falls off F------ hell. :

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Anon goes camping | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: S3V6qwaJ) 08/18/22(Thu)09:44:02 No.391604516 >>391604768 >>391605278 >>391605793 >>391606002 >>391606365 File: 1651927353084.jpg (28 KB, 400x400) Reminds me of something that happened as a teenager, long ago before international roaming was cheap enough and phones had GPS. >17 years old >Like to go camping with my 9 year old sister because she gets a kick out of being outdoors and I enjoy being innawoods >On school holidays I'd take her and some equipment into a camping area and spend a week camping, fishing, foraging and cooking >One week we're camping in the hidden valley >Stumble across 3 very fat, very lost, very tired looking frens >Ask them if they need any help >They say a cougar is chasing them >Explain we dont have cougars in the UK >Call me a liar, demand I lead them back to our campsite >Tell them to keep walking west until they hit a trail and follow that down to the village, should take them about an hour if they start now >They become irate, demanding that we stop what we're doing and lead them out >Get mad, tell them again to head west, then follow the trail, if they follow us they'll only end up more lost >The youngest fat little beast marches up to my sister and tries to pull her backpack off shouting "LET GO! JUST GIMMIE SOME F------ WATER IM DYING!" >sister pushes him and runs behind me, fatty slips and lands in mud >Starts crying >Parents start shouting saying they're going to get us arrested >Tell them to f--- off, walk up the steep hills where they can't follow, too fat >The next day, we're foraging for mushrooms >Hear faint crying >Throw my sister into a tree with binoculars >"You're not going to believe this anon, they're still out here" >We meet up with them, and they tell us they couldn't find their way out and they're sorry, they just want to get back to town >Fine. Guide them out. Walk them into town >Walk them to a pub >The fat bastard dad walks up to the bartender, points at us and says "Call the police! Those two got us lost in the woods, we almost died!" >Police arrive, laugh at them, give us some sweets/drinks for leading them out, leave. Fat Mutts can't deal with the woods.

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Anon speaks the truth! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>848364818 # >by 4chans standards you underestimate the people on this site anon. 02/26/21(Fri)20:59:43 No.848366950 >4chan is smart people pretending to be retarded >reddit is retarded people pretending to be smart >instagram is retarded people pretending to be rich >twitter is rich people pretending to be retarded >>848368053 #

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Anon has a good thanksgiving | /r/Greentext

伊吉吉福 >Be me >Thanksgiving dinner with the family >F--- yeah food >These potatoes are f------ drier than a nun's p---- >"Oi mom. Can ya pass the salt?" >As she hands me the salt my brain goes f------ spaghetti >"Thanks n----" >Whole table stops what they're doing and look at me >I just called my mom n---- >Nobody talks to me for the rest of the day. >Pic unrelated

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Anon uses reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 231 KB PNG 03/15/20(Sun)13:16:03 No.57171994 >go on reddit >make comment about something I think I'm right about >get proven wrong >admit that I was wrong and thank person who provided a source >get downvoted anyway >this f------ site

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Anon has a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.19 MB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri)07:35:30 No.69864257 2 Replies / 1 Image >be me >go to work >send 4 emails a day >spend all day reading history ebooks and playing AoE 2 >flirt with qt at water cooler >tell boomer boss i worked on project (he cant tell) >buy boomer coffee, he says im "a hard worker" >go on my third hour long lunch break of the day >play more aoe >forward all urgent emails to my intern >go home feels good to be a wagie, you f------ said it would suck, my life is great >picrel mfw i realize i wasted my life instead of exploring or fighting a war or hunting big game View Thread

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