Anon has a screw loose... | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 57 KB JPG >happened like 20 minutes ago >stay up all night doing schoolwork and s--- 04/20/20(Mon )09:27:50 No.57754465 >whenever i go a full night with no sleep i feel really anxious and paranoid >sitting in living room >drinking water >brain waves flatline >forget i have to swallow the water >open my mouth and all the water falls out >hits my lap >cold as f--- >scares the f--- out of me >piss myself >see my dad standing there, he watched the whole thing >realize i p----- myself >run to my room what my dad saw: >take a sip of water >spit it out >look over at him >sprint upstairs i think im retarded

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (1124px x 1602px)

File size: 142 KB

File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

View All 43,685 Images

More:

Anon gets his heart broken | /r/Greentext

1.61 MB JPG do you guys like my guinea pig : Anonymous >>3987437 (OP) # I like the guinea pig but hate you. >>3987528 # >>3991621 # : Anonymous >>3987453 # Why 11/23/21(Tue)21:05:06 No.3987453 11/23/21(Tue)23:00:41 No.3987528

Pin

Anon talks about possums | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: wfjXuloe 05/01/23 (Mon)13:31:54 No.425492151 >>425489073 Possums aren't sweethearts, they're giant rats. >angry >violent >greedy >so profoundly lazy they would rather roll over and die than run or fight a predator >terroritorial >meandering >fat >ugly >trasheating I relate to them so much. I love possums.

Pin

Anon gets bit | /r/Greentext

African village terrorised by gay baboon who recently r---- 5 men DOOGBE >be me >finally muster up the courage to ask my crush out on a date 57 KB JPG >decide to take her to a fancy restaurant to impress her >we're having a great time until suddenly we hear a loud noise from above >a raccoon drops down from the ceiling, hissing and foaming at the mouth >people are screaming and running in every direction, but my date and I freeze in fear >the raccoon charges at us and I try to defend her, but it's no use >it bites me on the arm and I feel an involuntary bowel movement >my date is horrified and starts to panic >we manage to escape to the bathroom, but it's too late for me >I sit there in embarrassment, I hear a commotion outside >turns out the police have been called and are in a standoff with the raccoon >more involuntary bowel movements >I'm still stuck in the bathroom, wondering how I'm going to explain the mess >eventually, the police manage to catch the raccoon and it's all over but the damage has been done >the cops manage to catch the raccoon, but not before it bites a few people >they also notice the mess in the bathroom and accuse me of public indecency >I try to explain the situation, but they don't believe me >my date is traumatized and I'm humiliated >I try to apologize and explain, but she's having none of it >she leaves the restaurant in a hurry and I'm left sitting there, feeling like a complete idiot lesson learned, always be prepared for unexpected situations and never underestimate the power of a wild animal.

Pin

Anons first momery | /r/Greentext

File: Sun Baby_Intro.PNG.png (572 KB, 1024x576) >pic rel >my mom leans over and playfully says >"that's you, you're a little baby" >perfectly understand >tfw my first memory was of watching tv First memory thread Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)00:46:05 No.898548812>>898548987 >>898549210 >>898549353 >>898549359 >>898549801 >be me >in diapers >maybe 2 yrs old >in bouncer in front of TV >the teletubbies baby sun is rising and the intro is playing

Pin

anon misses his friend, plays 40k to remember him (sorry if repost) | /r/Greentext

16 KB PNG >Me and childhood friend get into warhammer together when we were 10 >Friend gets Dark Angels and i get IG >Played alot of 2vs2 games and he would always deepstrike his deathwing to protect my artillery >Painted models to look like us >Friend died from cancer 5 years ago and left all of his warhammer stuff to me >Always bring an allied detachment of dark angels deathwing now >Always have them deepstrike to protect my basilisks >Have won me many games including one where the model representing my friend rolled four sixes in melee and slaughtered a daemon prince >His models always seem to roll well It hurts, Anons.

Pin

Anon figured out philosophy | /r/Greentext

TE Philosophy is so easy Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)23:01:32 No.898543293 >>898543394 >be me >think >am I think I got this philosophy stuff figured out pretty well /b/ros □ Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)23:02:37 No.898543348 909512210

Pin

Anon requests for a hug | /r/Greentext

Minza >go to hug mum >she dabs on me instead mummy no

Pin

All Women are the same | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)14:07:06 No.28866843 52739.jpg 3.58 MB JPG >put a roof under her head >feed her the best quality food >pour her the purest water straight from a new Mountain Valley Spring bottle >take her to the best veterinarian in the City >buy her any toy she wants to keep her entertained >treat her like a queen >respect her privacy >TFW I'm basically her paypig >in return; she hisses at me for causing any minor inconvenience >bites me if i touched her in some way >doesn't respect my personal space, >won't sit on my lap >probably sees the neighbor's cat behind my back

Pin

Anon tries to understand magnets and fails | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 55 KB JPG 06/06/21(Sun)21:58:34 No.13245981 EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE MAGNETIC FORCE IS PERPENDICULAR TO THE MAGNETIC FIELD OR I WILL F------ KILL YOU. DON'T DUMB IT DOWN OR I WILL KILL YOU. IF YOU SAY F = qu x B WITHOUT EXPLAINING WHY, I WILL F------ KILL YOU.

Pin

Anon gets angry | /r/Greentext

File: images (1).jpg (17 KB, 443x332) Anonymous 07/01/18(Sun)18:12:56 No. 1936758319369514>>19369519>>1936954619370017 >>19371950 >>19374860 >>19375705 >>1937695919376965 >>19377345 >>19377486 >>19377719 >>19378394>>19379416 >>19380096 >>19380665 How f------ poor are you? >pic related, the same car as my shitmobile Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)01:23:27 No. 19374930193771531937725619377332 >>19377421 >>19379244>>19380709 I have a 1998 Dodge Caravan that I paid $200 for. Smog check and all. It ranks an easy 8/10 on the hooptie scale and constantly attracts cops. There is no ac, the ignition key is different from the door key, it didn't have an oil change for over 16000 miles before I bought it and the odometer glitches out losing miles randomly. Also the horn broke so I bought a handheld airhorn. Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)12:30:09 No. 1937715319377283 >>19378278 >>19374930 >Also the horn broke so I bought a handheld airhorn F------ Imao. Imagine this. >> Anonymous 07/02/18(Mon)03:26:19 No. 19369514>>19380719 >>19380870 File: 1526761364722.jpg (54 KB, 793x786) Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)12:48:18 No. 1937725 >>19378278 >>19374930 >handheld airhorn Thanks man, I needed a good chuckle today Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue) 12:53:39 No. 19377283 ► >>19377153 please tell me when using it you don't just blast it but instead do the "frr frr frcccccccccer™ Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)16:27:34 No. 19378278 >>19378339>>19378366 >>19379222 >>19380026 >>19380709 File: 20180703_162317.jpg (934 KB, 2560x1536) Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue) 16:29:28 No. 19378287 >>19378339 File: 20180703_162356.jpg (861 KB, 2560x1536) >handheld airhorn >>19377256 >>19377153 >>19377256 I'm serious. I've used it in anger too. Only problem is having to manually roll the window down first. Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue) 16:42:55 No. 19378339 >>19378278 >>19378287 Godspeed you crazy bastard SANDWICH ANARCHY COD Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)16:49:15 No.19378366 19378437 >>19378278 >pijamas >dirty ass carpet >dirty ass dashboard >bottle caps >radio with no cover 402005 And a picture of the copmagnet 2000 from outside. Also known as "Big D". >lots of coins >weird carpet thing over the dash in the passenger's side >weird part thing in the passenger's footwell >super start power pack >Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)19:57:13 No. 19379222 ► File: 1528188652155.jpg (13 KB, 286x168) RADICAL >>19367583 (OP) I ride a bicycle. manually roll the window down first. >>19378278 Dis n---- so f----- up it went full circle and he got errything figured out. Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)20:11:59 No. 19379291 ► Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)13:05:54 No. 19377332 ► >>19379244 I have actually done that. Only when rolling with the window down though. >>19374930 Somebody should visualize this Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)13:23:59 No. 19377421 File: 1530389809908.jpg (283 KB, 900x885) I've used it in anger too. >>19374930 I love you man Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)20:02:18 No. 19379244>>19379291 >>19374930 >handheld airhorn my sides are in orbit m. Imagine cutting this dude off and he sticks his arm out the window and blows a handheld airhom at you FRO used it in anger Only when rolling with the window down though. Fr Frr FRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRR! Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)23:04:05 No. 19380026 ► >>19378278 > The memes are real. I... need a screencap of this. Anyone? Anonymous 07/04/18 (Wed)01:11:10 No. 19380439 19380557 >>19374869 >driving american Anonymous 07/04/18(Wed)02:01:47 No. 19380557► >>19380439 Hey the f----- with the Caravan and airhorn is doing it right.

Pin

anon likes his bed | /r/Greentext

Pin

Anon explains about something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Limit to Wealth/Power 61 KB JPG 04/16/23(Sun)15:03:51 No.72972559 From my thirteen years of experience in conspiracy theory and fact there was something that always interested me the most. When a man or woman reaches the peak of wealth and or power they are free to do whatever they wish and break all laws. This leads them to engage in p---------, cannibalism, vampirism, b----------, murder, r--- and much more. After they indulge in all their lusts and curiosities, a good portion of them become stagnant and get bored. They already believe they "are like gods" but they know they are truly mortal and wish to extend their life. That's for those that get bored of hedonism and sadism. The rest of them become addicted to their vices. Having a hole in their chest that can only be filled with continually engaging in their depraved and unhealthy practices and fetishes. In both cases the extremely rich and powerful is reminded that they are still human beings and that their hole can't be filled with money or hedonism. Because once you are at the level of a "God" life seems boring, repetitive and predictable. You've "done it all" and you will always try to look for new things to do because you've done more than 99% of human beings who have ever lived. Such people are probably a different species at that point.

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes