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African village terrorised by gay baboon who recently r---- 5 men DOOGBE >be me >finally muster up the courage to ask my crush out on a date 57 KB JPG >decide to take her to a fancy restaurant to impress her >we're having a great time until suddenly we hear a loud noise from above >a raccoon drops down from the ceiling, hissing and foaming at the mouth >people are screaming and running in every direction, but my date and I freeze in fear >the raccoon charges at us and I try to defend her, but it's no use >it bites me on the arm and I feel an involuntary bowel movement >my date is horrified and starts to panic >we manage to escape to the bathroom, but it's too late for me >I sit there in embarrassment, I hear a commotion outside >turns out the police have been called and are in a standoff with the raccoon >more involuntary bowel movements >I'm still stuck in the bathroom, wondering how I'm going to explain the mess >eventually, the police manage to catch the raccoon and it's all over but the damage has been done >the cops manage to catch the raccoon, but not before it bites a few people >they also notice the mess in the bathroom and accuse me of public indecency >I try to explain the situation, but they don't believe me >my date is traumatized and I'm humiliated >I try to apologize and explain, but she's having none of it >she leaves the restaurant in a hurry and I'm left sitting there, feeling like a complete idiot lesson learned, always be prepared for unexpected situations and never underestimate the power of a wild animal.

Anon gets bit | /r/Greentext


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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.
Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI
: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"
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