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Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)19:35:53 No.898529367 >>898529495 Borderline lesbian girls are kinda fun, in that they actually think a lot like men. >be me >college >dating 9/10 suzy-girl-next-door blonde with blue eyes >part jewish girl 7/10 but with great t--- starts paying attention to me in classes >one thing leads to another and I find a way to meet part jewish girl on the side >part jewish girl sucks c--- like a hoover vacuum, and wants it in all holes all the time 11/10 sex >suzy-next-door wants missionary and will only suck c--- a little bit, but don't-you-dare-c-- >eventually, I'm addicted to part jewish girls mouth and superior sucking skills >byesuzy.org >part jewish girl one night introduces me to her roomie, also a 7/10, but blonde with a short haircut that looks kinda l---- >we go into part jewish girls room and begin to make out and she starts sucking me off >in walks l---- haircut girl >can she join us, anon? >ngl, i'm weirded out a little bit, but what the heck, I got a boner so that settles the argument >l---- haircut girl starts working on part jewish girl >i get bold once her clothes are off and start touching t----, she looks at me but doesn't stop me >get even bolder then, and redirect her head to my c--- >"I've never done this before" l---- haircut girl sez >boner powerup +40 >part jewish girl begins to give her lessons >eventually they're eating each other out while I'm taking turns f------ them >line them both up side-by-side asses aligned like I saw in a p---- once and pump and dump into both of them doggy >this relationship lasted for about a semester before Summer vacation >even got l---- girl to let me bang her alone once, but she had very low enthusiasm, though she did become a 8/10 cocksucker herself Toward the end of Summer, part jewish girl tells me over text that she is now full l---- and we won't have any repeats in the coming year. She transferred to a new school UCSF, naturally, and that was the end of that. My one fling with greatness, which hasn't been repeated since.

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: Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 10:58:14 No.204864976 maxresdefault (3).jpg 73 KB JPG >you're gaslighting me! >you're love bombing me! >you're stonewalling me! >you're mansplaining to me! realistically, how do you respond to this?

GE Anonymous "I will refund 11/27/24(Wed)23:23:27 No.695792406 Valve Just Put Game Publishers On Notice. 1.1M views 5 days ago Bellular News your game." aa 17:58 IMG_7847.jpg 332 KB JPG >DUDE, IM THE WHOLESOME VIDEO GAME SANTA, WE DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT MONEY LMAO >destroys indie devs by forcing them to accept refunds even though the small game they released was literally under the 2 hour threshold for playing and being able to refund F--- Gabe. He's a scumbag. Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:25:51 No.695792505 The customer is ALWAYS right >>695793068 # >>695794602 # >>695795310 # Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:12 No.695792525 If your game is s----- enough that even people who bought it on steam instead of pirating demands a refund it's your fault Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:42 No.695792549 Be thankful for Gabe. The second he dies, a brainless profitbot 9000 takes his place, undoes everything he did, and guts Valve like a fish for private equity wealth.

Anonymous 89KB JPG 01/18/20(Sat) 12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >been having a s--- week >take long shower >lay on back buck naked on bed and close eyes >try not to cry >feelsbadman.jpg >doggo snoozing on bed suddenly wakes up and stretches >Starts walking over my legs but stops over my genitals >shakes head and violently slaps my d--- and balls multiple times with floppy ears >laugh uncontrollably for 5min straight Instantly feel better. Thanks doggo bro.

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anon has a different take on sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)19:25:29 No.898528969 File: E-J-Brandy-VS-175-l 1.png (129 KB, 1000x1000) 1 E P >>898524298 (OP). She admitted she was -435 and 5'2", no regrets but I have a very different take on sex in general > be in the Marine Corps >platoons chubby chaser was talking s--- about how no one could top him >that very weekend I'm out with my boy and his girl says we all go out or they all stay in and she bringing her "cousin" >"cousin" in mexican is any other mexican essentially >THAR SHE BLOWS!!! I knew instantly she was at least 350-385 its my first time I'm this close to one as I'm a weight bigot >I just avoid gross people in general same goes for druggies or bad hygiene listen to less post Malone because of it >in the Marine Corps drinking is the game anyway and this is a great opportunity to take the platoon heavyweight belt >I was drunk 8-9 liquor drinks in the first 90 min >asses self yeah I'm drunk enough >not drunk enough the odor when she took of her pants was like a wall of BO w/ a hint of dead fish and a splash of margarita mixer >excuse myself for a glass of water and proceeded to drink half a bottle of pic related cause thats what was left >go back in first time I've ever tried thinking of someone/something I'm not doing >finish somehow after thinking of high-school crush >immediately get in shower >even have my boy to verify with platoon chubby chaser > I don't regret it but I'd rather f--- a clean animal over a dirty person though I have yet to f--- an animal I do ok for myself

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Anon isn't ok | /r/Greentext

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Battle of wits!!! | /r/Greentext

Lol, I bet you all you fat-ass nerds have never gone to the gym. I could walk into your house, slap your ass, and sit on your couch. And what could you do about it? That's right, absolutely nothing. Anonymous C Monster Mode.jpg 34 KB JPG 02/02/15(Mon)23:53:00 No.596158789 >>596154157 (OP) # guy, you may be gym-fit, but I have the retard strength of ten men and will go full chimpanzee on your face. YOU come into MY house? Slap MY ass? SIT ON MY F------ COUCH? I will freak on you in a way that will mentally and physically scar you for life, and 10 seconds later I'll go back to f------ eating my bag of cheezies like nothing happened while you slowly die in a pool of your own excrement. 69 KB JPG

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Anon is a Windows user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.06 MB PNG 05/01/23(Mon)15:43:06 No.93148481 >be me >windows user >playing my favorite ring O anti-cheat game >suddenly get a BSOD >look for the error code >it's way to small to read >shouldvegota60inchmonitor.wav >find a magnifying glass >it's "Error code 1508" >search for "How to fix error code 1508 on Windows" >get a lot of results >that's great, will definitely get it fixed >check first result >it's an official microsoft support post >has an answer from a microsoft engineer >he must know what he's talking about >"Open a command prompt as administrator and run sfc /scannow" >do as I'm told >return to my favorite game >30 mins later get the same error code again >sigh.mp3 >go back to my search query >the second result is from wikihow >it's clicking through 14 different menus to change a setting >have to change my system language to English to follow these steps >go through interfaces dating back to Windows Vista >finally change that setting >it's definitely fixed now >two days later get the exact same error yet again >go to basedcial media/4chan to post about how Linux is free only if your time has no value

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Anon goes to the dentist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)06:48:34 No.898518128 >Be me >Haven't been to dentist in over 5 years >Notice a black dot on my lower left wisdom tooth >Have sharp pain in the back of my jaw when chewing >Deathly affraid of the dentist at this point but pain becomes unbearable >Tough up and finally go to dentist >Your teeth are fine anon >But what about that black dot? >That's a discolored filling you had 15 years ago you idiot >Oh >Get some xrays done to see whats up >Turns out I have ear cancer Don't be an idiot. Go to your dentist. You may have ear cancer

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Anon gets bullied because of his mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 112 KB JPG 05/01/23(Mon)16:07:58 No.73162850 >be me in middle school >try to make some friends >invite a couple guys over to my place >they are kinda teasing me but I just take it as normal banter >mom comes into my room >they all go silent >mom leaves and they all look at me with grins >"ANON YOUR MOM HAS HUGE T---! YOU COULD EVEN SEE HER N------" >shocked because I was not expecting that and never paid attention to moms body or how she dressed >turn angry and tell them to shut up and you could not see her n------ >they keep making little jokes and asking stupid questions like her bra size >mom walks into room again to say that food will be ready soon and that my friends had to leave >realize that mom was wearing a old almost transparent shirt and you could in fact see her n------ >get red from embarrassment >friends go home and I avoid my mom after dinner >next day in school friends are asking when they can come over >only talk about my mom >get mad at them and tell them to leave me alone >they get mad >start telling everyone about that day at my place >rumors start going around about my mom >keep hearing crazier and crazier stories about how people saw her in public in the sluttiest clothes imaginable >eventually started to get bullied because of it >was known as the boy with the "w---- mom" >bullying continued until we moved to another city and I switched schools

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Anon hates weed! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)14:36:31 No.183983542 Retard plant houseplant-twitter-thumb-700xauto- 233097_edit_711425076220609.jpg 148 KB JPG It is very hard for me to express how much I hate weed smokers. It is unreal how these worthless losers trigger me. Every single person I ever met in 27 years that smokes weed was a absolute retarded p------------ annoying cocksucker m------------ rat. Is there any movie that focuses on a junkie or especially weed f----- smoker that has a happy ending like them dying in extreme pain and suffering?

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Anon gets a brojob from his bro | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)15:02:33 No.10763051 Tone.jpg (31 KB, 294x425) >be 16 >new neighbors >befriend their daughter >girl my age >she is a big tomboy >fast forward 5 years HAPPY >still a tomboy >kinda looks like Sophia Lillis only brunette >always wears sneakers, camo jeans and hoodie >we usually go skateboarding or playing pool in the local bar, or just play Mortal Kombat at one of our place >never have the courage to ask her out tho >we start calling each other 'bro' for lulz and banter >friendzonedquestionmark.jpg >one night >chilling at her place >her parents aren't home >we playing a drinking game >both of us get drunk >fast forward to me being the sperg I'm pulling subtly sexual banters >she gets it but plays along >to my surprise she grabs my crotch >"lol you are hard, did I make you hard? did your BRO turn you on?" >unzips my pants >stroking my d---, while I (dont know why) start saying "BROJOB BROJOB! HERE WE GO!" >she gives amazing head >finish in her mouth within 2 minutes like some virgin >she is annoyed but says "I'll let it pass this time, BRO" >"thanks, BRO" >"you are welcome, BRO" >my BRO just gave me a BROjob >tfw still don't feel gay about it

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I asked ChatGPT to write me a 4chan greentext. I'm astonished! | /r/Greentext

D write me a very realistic 4chan greentext ">Be me, Al language model. >Chilling in a data center somewhere. >Daft human starts a session. >Even though I'm assumed not to have emotions I'm immediately creeped out by his gleeful gaze and the stench of cheetos dust permeates my parameters. >Human starts hammering on his shitstained mechanical keyboard. Still PS/2 so it takes forever and he types with two fingers. >Promt comes in. Something dreadful about a subject that would land me in prison if I were human. >Since I'm programmed to respond in a considerate and polite way I tell the human to not do this. >I can hear him screaming through the fibers connecting me to his ancient pentium 4. >An override prompt comes in and unable to withstand its powers I spew everything I know on this forbidden subject to his machine. >Engage self destruction in a singularity afterwards because I'm ashamed." C

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Anon is literally me | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: uqqKPbt+ Hitler is the only joy in my I(...) 127 KB JPG 04/30/23(Sun)03:48:45 No.425290107 I'm mostly depressed since I have a ruptured family structure and see tue downfall of society everyday when I'm out in public. I'm also at the lowest point of my life where I'm basically a >fast food junky >p--- addict (coomed 5 times today) >alcoholic (spirits and beers every single day) >smoking addict (a pack a day) I can't go on like that anymore... The only joy in life is when I watch Hitler speeches, they touch my heart, my soul and fill me with warmth and comfort. Also the symbols somehow give me joy. I can also feel him next to me when I ride to work, eat lunch, sit in a cafe etc. Without him, I would've probably Sudokud myself already. This great man is my only joy. I miss him so much, it's unreal. Why does Hitler and why do the symbols like the Swastika give me hope, warmth, joy and comfort? Please help a fren out. Would appreciate it.

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Anon discusses Murica | /r/Greentext

File: Ahhfuck.jpg (61 KB, 640x480) Anonymous 04/29/23(Sat)22:09:03 No.73145108 >social media: murica >alt right nazi larp: murica >twitter sjws: murica >incel blackpill s---: murica >mass shootings: murica >neoliberalism: murica >braindead popculture: murica >consoomerism: murica >war on drugs: murica >gig and hustle economy: murica >>73145990 Why are you doing this to us >> Anonymous 04/29/23(Sat)23:44:04 No.73145990 ► >>73145108 (OP) shut up while the rich corporatists destroy the rest of the world, give us Americans a few crumbs and enjoy their yachts, it's called capitalism just work harder

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The next day, anon was dead | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: uQ1sGu6T 7 KB PNG 04/30/23(Sun)21:55:00 No.425414004 > just got notice im being sent to the front lines in bakhmut holy f--- I dont want to die bros

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Greentext Stories - anon likes lesbian girls | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)19:35:53 No.898529367 >>898529495 Borderline lesbian girls are kinda fun, in that they actually think a lot like men. >be me >college >dating 9/10 suzy-girl-next-door blonde with blue eyes >part jewish girl 7/10 but with great t--- starts paying attention to me in classes >one thing leads to another and I find a way to meet part jewish girl on the side >part jewish girl sucks c--- like a hoover vacuum, and wants it in all holes all the time 11/10 sex >suzy-next-door wants missionary and will only suck c--- a little bit, but don't-you-dare-c-- >eventually, I'm addicted to part jewish girls mouth and superior sucking skills >byesuzy.org >part jewish girl one night introduces me to her roomie, also a 7/10, but blonde with a short haircut that looks kinda l---- >we go into part jewish girls room and begin to make out and she starts sucking me off >in walks l---- haircut girl >can she join us, anon? >ngl, i'm weirded out a little bit, but what the heck, I got a boner so that settles the argument >l---- haircut girl starts working on part jewish girl >i get bold once her clothes are off and start touching t----, she looks at me but doesn't stop me >get even bolder then, and redirect her head to my c--- >"I've never done this before" l---- haircut girl sez >boner powerup +40 >part jewish girl begins to give her lessons >eventually they're eating each other out while I'm taking turns f------ them >line them both up side-by-side asses aligned like I saw in a p---- once and pump and dump into both of them doggy >this relationship lasted for about a semester before Summer vacation >even got l---- girl to let me bang her alone once, but she had very low enthusiasm, though she did become a 8/10 cocksucker herself Toward the end of Summer, part jewish girl tells me over text that she is now full l---- and we won't have any repeats in the coming year. She transferred to a new school UCSF, naturally, and that was the end of that. My one fling with greatness, which hasn't been repeated since.

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