Kid named zip bomb | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Tech support horror thread? Tech support horror thread. Share your stories. >be me >work at mid-sized software company >IT support >some new guy gets a job as a programmer >claims he has worked at very big projects before >can't name them >fast forward 2 weeks >calls me and claims his computer is crashing every few minutes >walk up to his desk and watch him work until it crashes again >have leenux on a stick with me at all times >boot it up >ask him if he's been visiting any kind of not-so-legit websites >"No man, I'm clean" >gets sweaty and nervous once I browse trough the personal files >Downloads folder has multiple zip's with cryptic names inside them >"I dunno man, they were always there" >one of them is 163GB big >opening it takes almost 10 minutes >tons of folders with russian names >all of them are filled with videos of sheeps being shaved for whatever reason

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon has only 1 joy in life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 3ZVRI4Pz My only joy in life is Hitler 1.09 MB JPG No.423686224 I'm mostly depressed since I have a ruptured family structure. I'm also at the lowest point of my life where I'm basically a >fast food junky 04/16/23(Sun)02:54:37 >p--- addict (coomed 10 times today) >alcoholic (spirits and beers every single day) >smoking addict (a pack a day) If that goes on, I'm probably gone by the end of 2023. The only joy in life is when I watch Hitler speeches, they touch my heart, my soul and fill me with warmth and comfort. I can also feel him next to me when I ride to work, eat lunch, sit in a cafe etc. Without him, I would've probably Sudokud myself already. This great man is my only joy. I miss him so much, it's unreal.

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Anon discovers the truth | /r/Greentext

>used to have an ugly face and recessed face >spent 22 years as a lonely incel, invisible to women all my life >get double jaw surgery, chin wing osteotomy, upper blepharoplasty, zygomatic sandwich osteotomy, Buccal fat removal, hair transplant, beard transplant, jaw fillers >become attractive to women afterwards 132 KB JPG >have multiple girls willing to f--- me on tinder >f--- around 3 >feel emptier than ever knowing I had to mutilate my entire face to ever get "love" >become a volcel I have to say normies often say "there's more to life than relationships" and they are absolutely right.

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Anon looks for love at the border | /r/Greentext

Finding love is impossible bro. Dont even bother. >be me >live in city next to mexico border >also be me >leech-faced fat greasy unattractive human slime >can never find love or poonage >brainwave.exe >lot of undocumented illegals in my city >one of them must be desperate for US husband + papers >i'd happily eat burritos all day for guaranteed poonage >volunteer at ngo that gives free food to hungry illegals >also free food for me, save money for weed >pick an uglier one in the food line, more likely to say yes >only speaks spanish, tells me "esposo" when i keep staring and smiling at her >google says it means husband >partytime.gif >put my arm around her >she takes my phone and types in "tengo esposo" >this f------ dicktease is already married >turns out they all are here to meet up with their husbands, even the uglier ones >quits ngo job Honestly bros, im thinking of just ending it.

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Anon gives solid advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 67 KB JPG Big Flopps 5 Replies >troon out >have sex with men ami a fakecel? or >>73076681 # 04/24/23 (Mon)08:30:17 No.73076562 >be me >every attempt at women failed miserably >never even held hands romantically >last time i tried i almost got cops called on me if her friends didnt stop her >give up : Anonymous just get a h----- loser f----- View Thread 04/24/23 (Mon)08:45:11 No.73076652

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Anon goes camping | /r/Greentext

IMG_20180123_105029.jpg (846 KB, 5072x2988) exhentai google iqdb wait Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:09:14 No.1186762 >>1186840 >>1187057 >>1186761 Judging from the trees and dead grass it is either southern California or Africa. Pretty much the same. Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue) 14:15:10 No.1186770 >>1186785 >>1186899 >>1186901 >>1187266 >>1187316 HOW DO I FIX THIS Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)13:59:06 No.1186752 >>1186761 >>1186791 >>1186866 >>1186905 >>1186977 >>1186986 >>1187042 >>1187052 >>1187296 >>1187302 >>1187311 >>1187316 >>1187318 (You) >>1187418 >>1187444 >>1187447 >>1187616 >>1187917 >>1188014 >>1188167 >>1188203 What the f--- it wasn't even smoking when I left F--- Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:30:27 No.1186785>>1186792 >>1186770 Did you originated it? also you don't, call emergency services. Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:06:10 No.1186761 ✓ >>1186762 >>1186752 (OP) What's that? Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:32:10 No.1186786 ✓ >>1186791 >>1186820 >>1186837 >>1187042 >>1187290 >>1187311 >>1187312 >>1187316 >>1187322 >>1187333 >>1187389 >>1187444 >>1187554 >>1187616 >>1187621 >>1187936 >>1187947 >>1187979 >>1188014 >>1188075 >>1188167 >>1188203 IMG_20180123_112635.jpg (1.02 MB, 5180x2983) exhentai google iqdb wait >>1186785 Are u a cop? I didn't do nothing! Also I'm in Mexico F--- camping and F--- Yuru Camp I'm never leaving home again Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:40:27 No.1186792 >>1186801 >>1186819 >>1187615 >>1187725 Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:58:53 No.1186801 ✓ >>1186792 >dindu nuffin I don't know, anon, you seem pretty guilty. Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)15:25:27 No.1186820 >>1187322 1359461443369.jpg (27 KB, 350x468) exhentai google iqdb wait >>1186786 >F--- Yuru Camp www.tak You're the one who's dead meat, buddy. Criteria Anonymous 01/24/18(Wed)07:36:33 No.1187311 >>1187322 AIBO.jpg (50 KB, 406x416) google iqdb wait exhentai >>1186752 (OP) >>1186786 >F--- Yuru Camp >>1186792 God dammit OP. A Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)17:27:08 No.1186901 ✓ >>1186770 Stop. Drop. Roll. consume-hectareas-la-mexico-laredo&edit-text= Anonymous 01/24/18(Wed)15:10:43 No.1187615 >>1187622 >>1188037 >>1188065 Screenshot_20180124-120946.png (782 KB, 1080x1920) google iqdb wait exhentai Photo: Hidalgo Information Group Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)16:32:01 No.1186866 ✓ >>1186752 (OP) >Reverse image search >Nothing found What the f--- did you do, OP? Laid-Back Camp (3> Yurukyan) is a Japanese manga series anime television series adaptation by C-Station began airing in Japan from January 4, 2018. 8 Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)17:08:44 No.1186890 >>1187003 >>1187042 >>1187140 >>1187282 >>1187616 IMG_20180123_140320.jpg (1.71 MB, 5078x2988) exhentai google iqdb wait Hello, police? Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)17:33:56 No.1186908 ✓ 1469810737502.jpg (50 KB, 500x500) exhentai google iqdb wait Lmao Guys it's really really big now. F--- whoever made that campfire tutorial a week ago on /a/ https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.criteriohidalgo.com%2Fnoticias%2Fhidalgo%2Ffuerte-incendio- Strong fire consumes hectares in Mexico-Laredo 8 January 23, 2018 8 Hidalgo, News a Leave a comment

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Moroccan Anon asks /lgbt/ for help | /r/Greentext

File: 7333a3155971e8cdfe5aebd8d(...).jpg (744 KB, 2728x2708) EX hello everyone, I need your help with something that happened and I don't know what to do also sorry for the big text. I tried making a post yesterday on int didn't get much help, please do not be very harsh on me Anonymous 04/24/23(Mon)12:03:03 No.30672489 ► >>30672492 >So family came from Morocco to visit me mother father etc in Portugal, they arrived Friday but it happened Saturday, they went shopping and I wanted to grind COD stuff and my cousin, 22 male, didn't want to go cause boring so we stayed both at home. >Me and my cousin are pretty close game all the time together and when we were younger we'd spend the summers together >be me, 21 male >grinding DMZ with my cousin cause it gives mega XP and double xp weekend >after 2-3 hours of grinding I get bored >repetitive gameplay, to be expected >going to take shower cause nothing else to do and works as a gaming break >"hey, what if I washed your back ?" >No, that's weird. >"We used to do it back then it's no big deal" >Now it's different though >"No it's not don't be such a p----" >goes back and forth and somehow we end up both in the shower >he washes my back as promised feels more like a massage though but I won't complain >"what about the front ?" >what about it? >"I'll clean it too" >"it's literally the same as washing your back" he says before I say anything >uh okay >I turn around to now face him, he starts rubbing soap on me. >though he slowly goes lower and lower, at this point I look at him and we're both staring at each other. At this point I kinda guess what he's thinking about but weirdly enough I don't retort or anything and he just holds my penis and starts stroking it slowly >"hold mine as well" >I I kinda just did it and started touching him >mentally I knew I shouldn't but I kept doing it >he then held both of them together and we rubbed them together while looking into each other eyes >it felt really good I must confess and at some point I leaned in and started kissing >we then you know, it came out and we cleaned ourselves >and went back to gaming Anonymous 04/24/23(Mon)12:03:33 No.30672492 >>30672489 (OP) continue >>30672713 I'm not the most religious but am I f----- ? is there any forgivness for such acts I mean there was no penetration but still IDk what to do, he told me that we should talk on 25 about waht happened since no one works or studies but I don't know what to say, I think its wrong but it it did feel really good and I ddin't dislike it I think please help me out what do

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My face when slam dunk has no net or rimming | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)04:46:26 No.70663612 ► >>70664848 >>70669108 >>70661812 (OP) this one happened a few weeks ago >at health food store buying whey >6/10 blonde (still a qt) is ringing me up >typical customer service smalltalk >break in conversation >she says, "Okay, weird compliment, but you have a really nice face" >I'm shocked, manage to say thanks >"Yea, just something about it is very aesthetically pleasing" >tell her she is too kind and leave the store should have at least asked for her number, I don't think there is more of a slam dunk than that Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)18:12:04 No.70669108 >>70669150 >>70672725 >>70663612 >>70664848 >"weird compliment, but you have a really nice face" Th-Thanks, Y-you too...to sit on... >"What?" It's comfortable seating.....my face when...I mean, my face..... >Ummmm, okay? I mean you could sit, not that i'd want you to, haha, I mean if you wanted....I mean..... >Here's you reciept.

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Anon breaks world record | /r/Greentext

Anonymous today @ time o'clock_no.# 1 > 420 replies [STICKED THREAD] >be me >make up a fake greentext story on reddit >everyone is fooled >one million upvotes in my pocket >the world record association contacts me >ask me to become CEO of world record enterprizes international >say no >open youtube >type in female try on haul >masturbate (this part is real) thumbs_up_cool_brother.jpg

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Anon is not a fan of blacks | /r/Greentext

: Kek I hate n------ 105 KB JPG 07/11/21(Sun)00:43:42 No.64516704 >be me >34 year old white American burger >hate n------ >n------ ruined America >n------ ruined everything >sick of f------ n------ >a wild idea appears >Google whitest country on Earth >Ukraine >f--- it, buy one way plane ticket >sell everything >get on plane, ohshitniggawutareyoudoing? >land in Kyiv, Ukraine >everyone is white >everyone is nice >everyone hates n------ >feelsgoodman.jpg >finally happy with life >walk around city >find gigantic frog statue, pic related >praise Kek, it was destined >mfw I move to Ukraine because I hate n------

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When the girl you meet to specifically not make you feel lonely makes you lonely | /r/Greentext

148 KB JPG >finally get a gf >cute face, nice body, finally have sex >doesn't feel as fulfilled as I thought. Enjoy my time off when she leaves why?

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Anon takes a bath | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/24/23 (Mon)17:57:08 No.73076544 29 comfy.jpg 271 KB JPG >>73076252 (OP) # I'm in heaven. >taking a bath and listening to the beatles Why didn't you f------ tell me how good this feels?

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Gawd damn… | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Does Anyone Share This Feel 04/05/23 (Wed)15:42:24 No.72839707 Unbearable Feel.jpg 1.11 MB JPG Stopped taking anti-anxiety medication for the first time in over 18 months. Raw-dogging reality intense.

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