Proudly made in the U.S.A. baby! | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous Born In the USA 06/22/18(Fri)17:34:29 No.6826333 >Be Me >American >Internet's down >Bored >Go Outside >Don't get shot because most gun owners are completely cautious and safe people and exceptions are rare >Go back inside >Get stabbed by wife 68 KB JPG

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon gives away assist kills. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: h03c1sPe 10/25/19(Fri)20:17:57 No.231114487 >>231113120 (OP) # It's cool, I post regular girls on Reddit and say I just started transitioning so trannies kill themselves

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Anon went to the Club | /r/Greentext

Anonymous How can clubs be fun? mys 246 KB JPG 04/24/23(Mon)11:42:41 No.73075546 >went to the club for the first time with my normie friends >music loud af and annoying >everyone around me is annoying me >just 5 mins in and already hate it >with friends at the bar ordering some drinks >"anon this girl keeps looking at you" >look around and a girl is indeed looking at me >panic.jpg >tell my friend to shut up >friend keeps bugging me and other friends join in >eventually lose it and yell at them to leave me alone >leave them at the bar >they dont even follow >go home >get a few calls and dont answer them >this was 2 weeks ago and none of them has texted or called me again >mfw the club ruined my friendships I dont get how normies can unironically enjoy it. Most horrible experience of my life

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Anon is against abortion | /r/Greentext

04/16/23(Sun)12:49:19 No.72971604 Just found out my sister who I thought was a good person, is planning on having an abortion and even refers to her pregnancy as the "thing", justifies it on having unprotected sex with her bf as a "woopsie" and she needs to manifest a good life after getting this "thing" out of her. I tried my best to guide her in the right direction bros, but at the end of the day she's just another woman of her time. I f------ hate this clown world. : Anonymous 49 KB JPG

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Anon Freeman is the key to the survival of the Vance bloodline. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/24/23 (Mon)10:24:43 No.635108083 ► File: 1584202039714.jpg (197 KB, 300x455) >get in the chamber Gordon, nice and easy >yes, that's my naked daughter in the bed, and she's sedated >don't make me f------ spell it, just do her Gordon >I don't care, I can't risk it Gordon, I'm not leaving the chamber, you're gonna have to do it while I watch, just deal with it and get to it already man what the f--- did I just play

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Anon is from Portland | /r/Greentext

File: 2023-02-01 at 01-44-37 He(...).png (549 KB, 625x582) Heroin is now legal in Vancouver-and addicts are celebrating https://archive.is/G17k8 Police simply wall past deg users in new faw comes into forcedes 2272 d hom started year in Brah Colminta D-1909 T Canada - Heroin is now legal in Vancouver - addicts are celebrating Anonymous (ID: mFRyJU2r) 02/01/23(Wed)01:55:21 No.414416625 ► >>414417026 >>414417135 >>414417358 >>414417561 >>414417567 >>414417632 >>414417798 >>414417840 >>414417878 >>414417973 >>414418069 >>414418100 >>414418129 >>414418136 >>414418440 >>414418478 >>414418539 >>414418815 >>414418903 >>414419060 >>414419151 >>414420208 >>414420236 >>414420334 >Police simply walk past drug users as new law comes into force despite 2,272 deaths from illicit substances last year in British Columbia >Thanks to a radical new policy introduced by British Columbia, one of Canada's most liberal provinces, adults in possession of 2.5g of heroin, fentanyl, cocaine, methamphetamine or ecstasy will not be arrested or even have their drugs seized. The new role of the police in this part of Western Canada is "to redirect people who possess small amounts of certain illegal drugs away from the criminal justice system and towards health and social services," said Staff Sergeant Kris Clark. >The ultimate goal, Ms Bennett said, "is to save lives". https://archive.is/Gi7k8 My hatred of Canadians grows every day. Anonymous (ID: iyPn1h7G) 02/01/23(Wed)02:18:53 No.414418338 ► >>414418711 >>414418904 >>414419555 Hey Canada it's me Portland just calling to let you know what's next. Yeah we did this one already You will now have a couple types of "Homeless" people appearing. I put homeless in quotes because the average weird loner bum hobo, and the poor person out of work aren't the types you'll be seeing. First are land pirates. they steal everything, even things you wouldn't think needed to be stolen or could be stolen. Whether it's copper wiring out of every construction sight, or just some food from a corner store, they will take with no f---- given. They may drive a van through the window of a store just to steal $40 worth of chips and candy, or they might steal a forklift and try and take an entire ATM. It simply doesnt matter, they just take. They'll steal trashcans, theyll steal pallets, theyll steal bikes, theyll steal entire sheds, they'll do anything they feel like doing in an endless drive to gather resource to built little huts out of, and resell in order to make drugs. This eventually overwhelms police, they simply won't show up if you call them to come deal with burglary. They wont even take a report-- they're busy dealing with the third piece of this post. Whatever small businesses you like, they won't be there anymore. Eventually insurance stops paying out or raises rates, and suddenly running a corner store is impossible. Your local bike shop, favorite restaurants, everything. It's all gone and everything that can be taken by land pirates, who will turn it into heroin and meth. Eventually the land pirates mobilize, they might steal a box truck or campervan, and just let it rot somewhere while they live out of it. Theyll use it to break things, and theyll steal gas to drive it around sometimes. The landpirates will congregate outside of stores, not quite on store property but not quite off of it either. Theyll leave their tents, trash, campers, trash, and fires there while they take turns running into the store and stealing things. (1/3) Anonymous (ID: iyPn1h7G) 02/01/23(Wed)02:23:56 No.414418711 ► >>414419332 >>414419555 >>414419719 >>414419850 >>414418338 The next type are just actual zombies. If you havent seen them before, or maybe you have, they have no thoughts or feelings, no real discernable gender were it not for facial hair, or pretty much any features resembling conciousness besides a humanish shape. They steal sometimes but mostly just rot away in public, sometimes naked, pissing and s-------, stinking and loud, and theyre the worst of the bunch. Theyre completely insane, maybe they had schizophrenia before they started drugs, or maybe the meth is just as neurotoxic as studies suggest. Eventually their worless screams will just fill the air and terrorize your kids as you just have to pretend you just dont see them. Maybe they were veterans, maybe they werent, maybe they worked, maybe they were always like this, they're a f------ pain. One will decide your corner is a great place to stand and screech all night long, or maybe your car was a good place to s--- and lay down for a while. It's not even clear how they get money for their endless drug abuse, maybe they cant and this is just an endless state of withdrawal. But theyre not functional enough to steal in any effective way, they cant resell bike parts on offerup, they cant use a hacksaw for catalytic convertors, they just barely exist in the first place. Theyll scream names, theyll scream gibberish, theyll attack people, theyll start fires. And every liberal you know feels bad for them and any attempts to stop them from living the way they do is seen as inhumane. (2/3) Anonymous (ID: iyPn1h7G) 02/01/23(Wed)02:31:52 No.414419332 ► >>414419555 >>414419827 >>414420069 >>414420364 >>414418711 The final new comer will be the drug dealer. They may be on drugs themselves, they might have a home or a camper. They don't care about anything, they will pure fentanyl to a 12yo if they have $5-10 in hand or in stolen goods. They're the most lucid of the "Homeless" but they're also the most deadly. They have guns, stolen or legal, and they use them whenever they feel like it. Whather it's to threaten some junkie w---- into letting them r--- her, or just to kill someone else exactly like them. Youll have to hear about the rise in crime, youlln have to worry about being out in areas where they are, and youll have to hear the gunshots. 100% of police presence will be wasted having to deal with them. And the public will hate every bit of it-- they cant get the police to come for property crime, and they hate that the police are "criminalizing poverty" by trying to stop merchants of poison. Because the drug dealling crusties blend in so well with the Land Pirates and Drug Zombies, the average liberal sees them as all just "poor people down on their luck living in a society", and any attempts to curtail sale of infinite fentanyl will be seen as a human rights violation, or puritanical war on drugs, etc. Your new laws most likely have already helped them. They send their lackies out with the "legal" amount of drugs to possess and have them distribute it all before coming back for more. This is where the Chesa Boudins of the world come from, despite the crimerate spike being obvious, they can artifically decrease it by just not charging anyone. Police stop picking people up, because they know they wont stay in jail, and then DA stops prosecuting, so they aren't considered "fascist" by the liberal populace. So enjoy your three new types of friend. If you have them already, youll have more, they may not be from Vancouver, they may not even be from Canada. >t. Born in Portland, finally got my cash and left last year.

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ANON HAS A BAD DAY | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO mad sad pepe.jpg, 50KiB, 596x590 Anonymous Sat 14 Oct 2017 13:53:27 No.40400200 >be me >about 330 in the morning >zulu time (gotta stay on top of those coumterstrike f---) >just spent the past 8 hours playing runescape with sonic underground playing in the backround >just ate the last bit of my sweet chili doritos and on my last case of Dr. Thunder >resupply convoy needed.jpg >grab bitch summoning stick >bang said bitch sommoning stick on mlp poster on summers face >f------ normalfag roastie ponyslut (she'll get her just deserts one day) >here footsteps coming >its mummy with tendies >4 minutes and 55 seconds not too shabby >here you go sugar, says mummy >she turns to leave >"forgetting something you f------ dunce"? >mummy says "sorry sweet heart ill put on thomas the train for you" View Report >thats more f------ like it.jpg >she even started playing the end credits song from peewees playhouse over the intro to thomas the train because i had to teach her it sounds more asthetic (thats another story in itself) >she leaves >somethings not right.jpg > i look at tendies, somethings off, i go retrieve my exacto knife from where i tried to get the triforce by opening the ocarina of time cartridge 10 years ago, f------ lying newgrounds f------ >i cut into tendies >F------ MICROWAVED >JUST AT THIS TIME THOMAS THE TRAIN STARTS AND SHE DIDNT PUT IN THE DVD THAT DOES THE EPISODES IN KANJIIII >RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >SAMSON OPTION ENGAGED >GRAB 5 GALLON BUCKET OF GASOLINE AND DUMP IT ALL OVER MY BED >THISISMYLASTRESORT.MP4 >light that s--- >use all my strength to roll downstairs and start the car >put that s--- in reverse and get out >run head first into cement wall >give myself bloody concussion just you wait mummy, when social services come, it will be you whos final tendie is done!

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anon is about to find out she doesnt want to fuck him cuz he's like a brother to her | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 734 KB PNG 12/17/22(Sat) 19:04:00 No.71440608 >be friends with a couple >they have messy break-up >im the girl's only friend left due to reasons that weren't really her fault >my other friend (her now ex-bf) seems indifferent about the breakup (it was a long relationship) and knows I'm the only person she talked to outside of him >girl tells me that she's horny but i also know she's been sleeping with a lot of people post-break-up so think nothing of it >talks about how she's driving ~20 miles to f--- this dude from her university >meeting up with her at her house in a few days I have full intentions of taking advantage of her being a w---- and losing my virginity but I just can't comprehend why women just w---- themselves out of breakups. Any ideas on why this is anons?

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Anon likes the sopranos | /r/Greentext

maxresdefault.jpg 155 KB JPG >I've lived a bad life sister *Helps in a feminist rally*.... The things i've done *Saves slaves in Saint Denis*... The people I ride with *LENNY, MY NEGROID FRIEND IN THE 1800S, WHERE ARE YE?*.... The people I know... *CHARLES MY NATIVE AMERICAN FRIEND, OF COURSE I'LL HELP YOU KILL DEM POACHIN SUMBITCHES*.... The people i've killed *Kills a man because he legally owned slaves this one time*..... The gang i'm in... *MICAH... HOW DARE YOU ACT LIKE AN OUTLAW*..... You see.... There's just no redemption for folks like me *Kisses a French t-----(this actually happens*..... WHY.... WHY SISTA, WHY DID I LIVE SUCH A HATEFUL LIFE *Mary, of course i'll help you now that your husband died*.... YA SEE, THE TRUTH IS SISTER *Kills KKK members*.... THE TRUTH IS THAT I BE AFRAID *Votes Biden/Harris in 2024 We will never get another Anti Hero like Tony Soprano ever again. From now on, every Anti Hero is some progressive moral f----- who has a scruffy voice and "stand offish" personality.

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Anon goes outside | /r/Greentext

Am I autistic? Anonymous 07/ >walk into Subway by myself >forget im in real life >see white woman >audibly say "white woman spotted" JFO (@haritake

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Anon gets a long hug | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: images.jpg (4 KB, 212x237) Anonymous 04/24/23(Mon)00:21:02 No.898098945 >be me >fall in love with this girl >go on a few dates but she decides that she doesnt want a relationship >be sad pic rel are my gains btw Anonymous 04/24/23 (Mon)00:40:17 No.898099762 File: 111.jpg (165 KB, 1389x1600) >start doing calisthenics and cardio >4 months and -12kg later meet her at a party >go back to her place and just cuddle all night and the following day; holding her in my arms as I feel her caressing my back, chin, abs, as I feel her breath on my neck >eat late breakfast together, she tells me that it felt good and right, but more like a dream than reality >tells me that we shouldnt do it again cuz it is dangerous Anonymous 04/24/23 (Mon)00:22:00 No.898098985 >>898098945 (OP) She sounds like a high maintenance c---. You can do better, anon. >>898098985 [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] >>898098985 watching a movie with a cutie on tuesday to learn french' (her idea) and hanging out with another flirty woman atm 2/1/2/7 I just want to be at peace with myself for now but I also dont want to miss a chance with one of them; Im mainly thinking abt the girl I fell in love with a few months ago and keep wondering if our destinies really just crossed for a moment never to entwine again [Post a Reply] >>898099762 2/1/2/7

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Anon's Poppa teaches /biz/ a thing or two about business | /r/Greentext

BRITTIM gelty/magin The secret to a successful business "voted with his p-----" Anonymous (ID: RU0obTx/) 04/22/23(Sat)13:37:12 No.54694611 went to visit wealthy great granduncle (I think that's what it's called great grandpas brother) we'll call him Poppa he had just turned 94 I want to get stories out of him (writer) don't know how much time he has left, never really got to know him, my dad was close. Physically he's doing bad, Mentally he's SHARP as a tack. Seriously has better banter than most of my friends and has hundreds of stories. Somehow women in the workplace comes up Poppa goes: "That's no good, we used to vote with our peckers." wut? "we knew how big every guy's peter was in inches, and that's how much of a vote you had." So basically here's the situation: >Poppa comes from from a little money and goes to Ivy league school in the late 40's. >lives in frat and forms lifelong bond with Frat brothers. >they've all seen each other naked, know how big each other's cocks are, laugh about it. >in college natural pecking order based on p----- size becomes a thing. >when he gets out of school, he and a few other finance majors start a local bank. 1950's at this point >they literally use their p----- size to decide hierarchy of bank structure. >every business decision uses this naturally hierarchy and they actually become a VERY successful local bank off of smart investments. (CONT) O Anonymous (ID: RUOobTx/) 04/22/23(Sat)13:37:54 No.54694614 ► >>54694976 >for business leverage a couple guys started adding up penis sizes. two 4" could outweigh a 6" >They laugh about it, but this method actually proves to be lucrative and it genuinely becomes their standard practice. >their next few hires are fellow frat brothers so the boys club continues. >They never hire anyone they don't know to higher positions, and its almost like a point of hazing to get your d--- measured. >their bank is profitable enough to have a few branches. >1964, civil rights act. They hire women, but completely ignore their ideas. "zero inches, zero input" DIRECT QUOTE kek >according to him, the women had no idea what system they were using to calculate the decisions, but they did see the numbers they were using. >he even said two different women would provide 'sexual favors' to him because he was one guys with the most vote (go Poppa) >anyway, by the 70's they're not measuring new guys, people respect whatever system they have going. >by the 80's women are starting to cry workplace discrimination and so the boys club had to stop using their method and let women have a say in business decisions. Poppa said it was "night and day" their first year where growth decreased was the same year they stopped using the c--- system. >by 90's business is not doing as well a few branches close. >It doesn't matter anyway, Poppa retires in 94, happy and wealthy with five children. >the bank eventually shut down during the 2008 financial crisis. Poppa passed last week and I'm making this post to honor him and his genius financial system. do what you want with this sacred knowledge /biz/ □ Anonymous (ID: VivnV8kT) 04/22/23(Sat)14:10:35 No.54694897 Based poppa p-----

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Wagie wagie | /r/Greentext

It's so cruel that these magnificent creatures spend their whole lives enclosed in tiny spaces. 25 ENGE G E37FE233-E49F-4EA8-B9EB-3E8CEE977B22.jpg 907 KB JPG >be American nig >Jewish state and zog pour millions dollars into making you into a compliant slave >go to state mandated schools >learn nothing and spend entire time enjoying it with your frens >never stress over having to get a score on a paper that tells future employees that you are a good waging >do opposite of everything that zog state tells you >live carefree life while parasiting of cuck white wagie drones taxes Most normies are ruining their own lives to win a fake rat race while nogs live in the moment and live every moment for themselves

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