ANON HAS A BAD DAY | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO mad sad pepe.jpg, 50KiB, 596x590 Anonymous Sat 14 Oct 2017 13:53:27 No.40400200 >be me >about 330 in the morning >zulu time (gotta stay on top of those coumterstrike f---) >just spent the past 8 hours playing runescape with sonic underground playing in the backround >just ate the last bit of my sweet chili doritos and on my last case of Dr. Thunder >resupply convoy needed.jpg >grab bitch summoning stick >bang said bitch sommoning stick on mlp poster on summers face >f------ normalfag roastie ponyslut (she'll get her just deserts one day) >here footsteps coming >its mummy with tendies >4 minutes and 55 seconds not too shabby >here you go sugar, says mummy >she turns to leave >"forgetting something you f------ dunce"? >mummy says "sorry sweet heart ill put on thomas the train for you" View Report >thats more f------ like it.jpg >she even started playing the end credits song from peewees playhouse over the intro to thomas the train because i had to teach her it sounds more asthetic (thats another story in itself) >she leaves >somethings not right.jpg > i look at tendies, somethings off, i go retrieve my exacto knife from where i tried to get the triforce by opening the ocarina of time cartridge 10 years ago, f------ lying newgrounds f------ >i cut into tendies >F------ MICROWAVED >JUST AT THIS TIME THOMAS THE TRAIN STARTS AND SHE DIDNT PUT IN THE DVD THAT DOES THE EPISODES IN KANJIIII >RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >SAMSON OPTION ENGAGED >GRAB 5 GALLON BUCKET OF GASOLINE AND DUMP IT ALL OVER MY BED >THISISMYLASTRESORT.MP4 >light that s--- >use all my strength to roll downstairs and start the car >put that s--- in reverse and get out >run head first into cement wall >give myself bloody concussion just you wait mummy, when social services come, it will be you whos final tendie is done!

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon is about to find out she doesnt want to fuck him cuz he's like a brother to her | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 734 KB PNG 12/17/22(Sat) 19:04:00 No.71440608 >be friends with a couple >they have messy break-up >im the girl's only friend left due to reasons that weren't really her fault >my other friend (her now ex-bf) seems indifferent about the breakup (it was a long relationship) and knows I'm the only person she talked to outside of him >girl tells me that she's horny but i also know she's been sleeping with a lot of people post-break-up so think nothing of it >talks about how she's driving ~20 miles to f--- this dude from her university >meeting up with her at her house in a few days I have full intentions of taking advantage of her being a w---- and losing my virginity but I just can't comprehend why women just w---- themselves out of breakups. Any ideas on why this is anons?

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Anon likes the sopranos | /r/Greentext

maxresdefault.jpg 155 KB JPG >I've lived a bad life sister *Helps in a feminist rally*.... The things i've done *Saves slaves in Saint Denis*... The people I ride with *LENNY, MY NEGROID FRIEND IN THE 1800S, WHERE ARE YE?*.... The people I know... *CHARLES MY NATIVE AMERICAN FRIEND, OF COURSE I'LL HELP YOU KILL DEM POACHIN SUMBITCHES*.... The people i've killed *Kills a man because he legally owned slaves this one time*..... The gang i'm in... *MICAH... HOW DARE YOU ACT LIKE AN OUTLAW*..... You see.... There's just no redemption for folks like me *Kisses a French t-----(this actually happens*..... WHY.... WHY SISTA, WHY DID I LIVE SUCH A HATEFUL LIFE *Mary, of course i'll help you now that your husband died*.... YA SEE, THE TRUTH IS SISTER *Kills KKK members*.... THE TRUTH IS THAT I BE AFRAID *Votes Biden/Harris in 2024 We will never get another Anti Hero like Tony Soprano ever again. From now on, every Anti Hero is some progressive moral f----- who has a scruffy voice and "stand offish" personality.

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Anon goes outside | /r/Greentext

Am I autistic? Anonymous 07/ >walk into Subway by myself >forget im in real life >see white woman >audibly say "white woman spotted" JFO (@haritake

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Anon gets a long hug | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: images.jpg (4 KB, 212x237) Anonymous 04/24/23(Mon)00:21:02 No.898098945 >be me >fall in love with this girl >go on a few dates but she decides that she doesnt want a relationship >be sad pic rel are my gains btw Anonymous 04/24/23 (Mon)00:40:17 No.898099762 File: 111.jpg (165 KB, 1389x1600) >start doing calisthenics and cardio >4 months and -12kg later meet her at a party >go back to her place and just cuddle all night and the following day; holding her in my arms as I feel her caressing my back, chin, abs, as I feel her breath on my neck >eat late breakfast together, she tells me that it felt good and right, but more like a dream than reality >tells me that we shouldnt do it again cuz it is dangerous Anonymous 04/24/23 (Mon)00:22:00 No.898098985 >>898098945 (OP) She sounds like a high maintenance c---. You can do better, anon. >>898098985 [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] >>898098985 watching a movie with a cutie on tuesday to learn french' (her idea) and hanging out with another flirty woman atm 2/1/2/7 I just want to be at peace with myself for now but I also dont want to miss a chance with one of them; Im mainly thinking abt the girl I fell in love with a few months ago and keep wondering if our destinies really just crossed for a moment never to entwine again [Post a Reply] >>898099762 2/1/2/7

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Anon's Poppa teaches /biz/ a thing or two about business | /r/Greentext

BRITTIM gelty/magin The secret to a successful business "voted with his p-----" Anonymous (ID: RU0obTx/) 04/22/23(Sat)13:37:12 No.54694611 went to visit wealthy great granduncle (I think that's what it's called great grandpas brother) we'll call him Poppa he had just turned 94 I want to get stories out of him (writer) don't know how much time he has left, never really got to know him, my dad was close. Physically he's doing bad, Mentally he's SHARP as a tack. Seriously has better banter than most of my friends and has hundreds of stories. Somehow women in the workplace comes up Poppa goes: "That's no good, we used to vote with our peckers." wut? "we knew how big every guy's peter was in inches, and that's how much of a vote you had." So basically here's the situation: >Poppa comes from from a little money and goes to Ivy league school in the late 40's. >lives in frat and forms lifelong bond with Frat brothers. >they've all seen each other naked, know how big each other's cocks are, laugh about it. >in college natural pecking order based on p----- size becomes a thing. >when he gets out of school, he and a few other finance majors start a local bank. 1950's at this point >they literally use their p----- size to decide hierarchy of bank structure. >every business decision uses this naturally hierarchy and they actually become a VERY successful local bank off of smart investments. (CONT) O Anonymous (ID: RUOobTx/) 04/22/23(Sat)13:37:54 No.54694614 ► >>54694976 >for business leverage a couple guys started adding up penis sizes. two 4" could outweigh a 6" >They laugh about it, but this method actually proves to be lucrative and it genuinely becomes their standard practice. >their next few hires are fellow frat brothers so the boys club continues. >They never hire anyone they don't know to higher positions, and its almost like a point of hazing to get your d--- measured. >their bank is profitable enough to have a few branches. >1964, civil rights act. They hire women, but completely ignore their ideas. "zero inches, zero input" DIRECT QUOTE kek >according to him, the women had no idea what system they were using to calculate the decisions, but they did see the numbers they were using. >he even said two different women would provide 'sexual favors' to him because he was one guys with the most vote (go Poppa) >anyway, by the 70's they're not measuring new guys, people respect whatever system they have going. >by the 80's women are starting to cry workplace discrimination and so the boys club had to stop using their method and let women have a say in business decisions. Poppa said it was "night and day" their first year where growth decreased was the same year they stopped using the c--- system. >by 90's business is not doing as well a few branches close. >It doesn't matter anyway, Poppa retires in 94, happy and wealthy with five children. >the bank eventually shut down during the 2008 financial crisis. Poppa passed last week and I'm making this post to honor him and his genius financial system. do what you want with this sacred knowledge /biz/ □ Anonymous (ID: VivnV8kT) 04/22/23(Sat)14:10:35 No.54694897 Based poppa p-----

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Wagie wagie | /r/Greentext

It's so cruel that these magnificent creatures spend their whole lives enclosed in tiny spaces. 25 ENGE G E37FE233-E49F-4EA8-B9EB-3E8CEE977B22.jpg 907 KB JPG >be American nig >Jewish state and zog pour millions dollars into making you into a compliant slave >go to state mandated schools >learn nothing and spend entire time enjoying it with your frens >never stress over having to get a score on a paper that tells future employees that you are a good waging >do opposite of everything that zog state tells you >live carefree life while parasiting of cuck white wagie drones taxes Most normies are ruining their own lives to win a fake rat race while nogs live in the moment and live every moment for themselves

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Discord made greentext? | /r/Greentext

Today at 19:18 >sitting on a couch >watching 2 people with autism play starwars battlefront 2 >both of them are incapable of playing the game with any modecum of skill >groan.wav >message friend about the pathetic attempt at gameplay infront of me. >realise that my thoughts and what i say is likely ableist >not proud of my thoughts but morally accept them as room for improvement. Why are normies so stressed about critiquing autists, they're still people. Liberal country.

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Anon fucks up. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i had a really good time last night :) NOO NO WAY dude yes HELL yes i have to show you that bookstore 04/24/23(Mon) 04:22:10 No.898093702 oh Text Message Today 1:00 PM O' i did too! we should totally put something on the books for another date now you gotta tell me 4 can i be honest with you though? lol nvm actually A Text Message carry on it's really not important lol but fine honestly, i'm really glad we're talking, i really thought i had no chance with you. like for a while i even considered r----- you or something just to get to touch you and it would be worth the jail time, but i figured might as well just talk to you first haha but yeah i'm just glad we're actually talking Cash Ⓡ ·|||||| 4035EC48-23B9-4431-86FD-E2C698C36486.png 313 KB PNG >Did I f--- up guys?

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Anon plays sekiro | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 635034254 SHADOWS DIE TWICE VA GAME YEAR 130.5 kB JPG 12 REPLIES 5 IMAGES 1 hr ago ... >Oh, you want the final confrontation against your foe, which mirrors the main character, and traveled to collect powerful magical artifacts to increase his power and further his quest just like you did? >F--- YOU, HE WAS JUST A RETARD, YOU KILL OLD MAN IN A SAD BOSS FIGHT AGAIN T-Thanks... I guess... 1 REPLY REPLY Anonymous | 635034409 >>635034254 (OP) Genichiro should have killed Isshin and become a Shura for the true final boss 1 hr ago ...

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what a socking event | /r/Greentext

File: maxresdefault.jpg (37 KB, 1280x720) Anonymous 04/13/23(Thu)20:02:01 No.15348316 >>15348322 >>15348876 >>15348981 >>15349050 >>15349362 >Hey want to come build a big bomb for us? >Okay sure >AAAAAAAAAAAA NO I KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN WOE IS ME IAM BECOME CHUCK THE SNEEDER OF FEED

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Anon wonders | /r/Greentext

File: D288EFB2-AE14-440F-AEBC-B(...).jpg (354 KB, 1244x1432) Anonymous 04/23/23(Sun)13:27:00 No.898070772 [Reply] >>898071786 >>898072838 Realistically who would win this fight? + 6 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 04/23/23(Sun)14:10:44 No.898071786 >>898070772 (OP) Its obvious, Table. Anonymous 04/23/23(Sun)14:41:01 No.898072838 >>898070772 (OP) Vadar Anonymous 04/23/23(Sun)15:04:43 No.898073628 The question that destroyed /b/

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Anon begs the question | /r/Greentext

File: 61FBFFA8-23A5-4BFC-8FBA-6(...).jpg (354 KB, 1244x1432) O Anonymous (ID: fAKs+OAb 04/23/23(Sun)10:50:29 No.424561642 [Reply] Which 1 of these characters has been worse for society?

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