anon is a strategic mastermind | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)23:45:07 No.72919676 (74 KB, 512x512) File: death-note-light-yagami-pfp-14.jpg >>72917819 (OP) >swipe right on fatties >pretend to be interested in their hobbies >chat them up, talk about how money's been tight ever since my grandma passed >extra important: casually mention i'm looking for a serious connection so i never f--- on the first date >string them along for a few weeks, work has been SOOOOO busy >finally "leave work early" one day to see them bc they're important and you wanna see them >get dinner somewhere nice but not super exorbitant or expensive >get bill >panic because you left your wallet at work >fattie offers to pay, thank her profusely >tell her she's a miracle and that you're gonna pay her back next time >go for a hug and a kiss afterwards >leave, tell her to text you when she gets home so you knows she's safe >block her in the car all too easy.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Kid named zip bomb | /r/Greentext

Tech support horror thread? Tech support horror thread. Share your stories. >be me >work at mid-sized software company >IT support >some new guy gets a job as a programmer >claims he has worked at very big projects before >can't name them >fast forward 2 weeks >calls me and claims his computer is crashing every few minutes >walk up to his desk and watch him work until it crashes again >have leenux on a stick with me at all times >boot it up >ask him if he's been visiting any kind of not-so-legit websites >"No man, I'm clean" >gets sweaty and nervous once I browse trough the personal files >Downloads folder has multiple zip's with cryptic names inside them >"I dunno man, they were always there" >one of them is 163GB big >opening it takes almost 10 minutes >tons of folders with russian names >all of them are filled with videos of sheeps being shaved for whatever reason

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Anon has only 1 joy in life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 3ZVRI4Pz My only joy in life is Hitler 1.09 MB JPG No.423686224 I'm mostly depressed since I have a ruptured family structure. I'm also at the lowest point of my life where I'm basically a >fast food junky 04/16/23(Sun)02:54:37 >p--- addict (coomed 10 times today) >alcoholic (spirits and beers every single day) >smoking addict (a pack a day) If that goes on, I'm probably gone by the end of 2023. The only joy in life is when I watch Hitler speeches, they touch my heart, my soul and fill me with warmth and comfort. I can also feel him next to me when I ride to work, eat lunch, sit in a cafe etc. Without him, I would've probably Sudokud myself already. This great man is my only joy. I miss him so much, it's unreal.

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Anon discovers the truth | /r/Greentext

>used to have an ugly face and recessed face >spent 22 years as a lonely incel, invisible to women all my life >get double jaw surgery, chin wing osteotomy, upper blepharoplasty, zygomatic sandwich osteotomy, Buccal fat removal, hair transplant, beard transplant, jaw fillers >become attractive to women afterwards 132 KB JPG >have multiple girls willing to f--- me on tinder >f--- around 3 >feel emptier than ever knowing I had to mutilate my entire face to ever get "love" >become a volcel I have to say normies often say "there's more to life than relationships" and they are absolutely right.

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Anon looks for love at the border | /r/Greentext

Finding love is impossible bro. Dont even bother. >be me >live in city next to mexico border >also be me >leech-faced fat greasy unattractive human slime >can never find love or poonage >brainwave.exe >lot of undocumented illegals in my city >one of them must be desperate for US husband + papers >i'd happily eat burritos all day for guaranteed poonage >volunteer at ngo that gives free food to hungry illegals >also free food for me, save money for weed >pick an uglier one in the food line, more likely to say yes >only speaks spanish, tells me "esposo" when i keep staring and smiling at her >google says it means husband >partytime.gif >put my arm around her >she takes my phone and types in "tengo esposo" >this f------ dicktease is already married >turns out they all are here to meet up with their husbands, even the uglier ones >quits ngo job Honestly bros, im thinking of just ending it.

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Anon gives solid advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 67 KB JPG Big Flopps 5 Replies >troon out >have sex with men ami a fakecel? or >>73076681 # 04/24/23 (Mon)08:30:17 No.73076562 >be me >every attempt at women failed miserably >never even held hands romantically >last time i tried i almost got cops called on me if her friends didnt stop her >give up : Anonymous just get a h----- loser f----- View Thread 04/24/23 (Mon)08:45:11 No.73076652

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Anon goes camping | /r/Greentext

IMG_20180123_105029.jpg (846 KB, 5072x2988) exhentai google iqdb wait Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:09:14 No.1186762 >>1186840 >>1187057 >>1186761 Judging from the trees and dead grass it is either southern California or Africa. Pretty much the same. Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue) 14:15:10 No.1186770 >>1186785 >>1186899 >>1186901 >>1187266 >>1187316 HOW DO I FIX THIS Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)13:59:06 No.1186752 >>1186761 >>1186791 >>1186866 >>1186905 >>1186977 >>1186986 >>1187042 >>1187052 >>1187296 >>1187302 >>1187311 >>1187316 >>1187318 (You) >>1187418 >>1187444 >>1187447 >>1187616 >>1187917 >>1188014 >>1188167 >>1188203 What the f--- it wasn't even smoking when I left F--- Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:30:27 No.1186785>>1186792 >>1186770 Did you originated it? also you don't, call emergency services. Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:06:10 No.1186761 ✓ >>1186762 >>1186752 (OP) What's that? Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:32:10 No.1186786 ✓ >>1186791 >>1186820 >>1186837 >>1187042 >>1187290 >>1187311 >>1187312 >>1187316 >>1187322 >>1187333 >>1187389 >>1187444 >>1187554 >>1187616 >>1187621 >>1187936 >>1187947 >>1187979 >>1188014 >>1188075 >>1188167 >>1188203 IMG_20180123_112635.jpg (1.02 MB, 5180x2983) exhentai google iqdb wait >>1186785 Are u a cop? I didn't do nothing! Also I'm in Mexico F--- camping and F--- Yuru Camp I'm never leaving home again Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:40:27 No.1186792 >>1186801 >>1186819 >>1187615 >>1187725 Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)14:58:53 No.1186801 ✓ >>1186792 >dindu nuffin I don't know, anon, you seem pretty guilty. Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)15:25:27 No.1186820 >>1187322 1359461443369.jpg (27 KB, 350x468) exhentai google iqdb wait >>1186786 >F--- Yuru Camp www.tak You're the one who's dead meat, buddy. Criteria Anonymous 01/24/18(Wed)07:36:33 No.1187311 >>1187322 AIBO.jpg (50 KB, 406x416) google iqdb wait exhentai >>1186752 (OP) >>1186786 >F--- Yuru Camp >>1186792 God dammit OP. A Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)17:27:08 No.1186901 ✓ >>1186770 Stop. Drop. Roll. consume-hectareas-la-mexico-laredo&edit-text= Anonymous 01/24/18(Wed)15:10:43 No.1187615 >>1187622 >>1188037 >>1188065 Screenshot_20180124-120946.png (782 KB, 1080x1920) google iqdb wait exhentai Photo: Hidalgo Information Group Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)16:32:01 No.1186866 ✓ >>1186752 (OP) >Reverse image search >Nothing found What the f--- did you do, OP? Laid-Back Camp (3> Yurukyan) is a Japanese manga series anime television series adaptation by C-Station began airing in Japan from January 4, 2018. 8 Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)17:08:44 No.1186890 >>1187003 >>1187042 >>1187140 >>1187282 >>1187616 IMG_20180123_140320.jpg (1.71 MB, 5078x2988) exhentai google iqdb wait Hello, police? Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)17:33:56 No.1186908 ✓ 1469810737502.jpg (50 KB, 500x500) exhentai google iqdb wait Lmao Guys it's really really big now. F--- whoever made that campfire tutorial a week ago on /a/ https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.criteriohidalgo.com%2Fnoticias%2Fhidalgo%2Ffuerte-incendio- Strong fire consumes hectares in Mexico-Laredo 8 January 23, 2018 8 Hidalgo, News a Leave a comment

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Moroccan Anon asks /lgbt/ for help | /r/Greentext

File: 7333a3155971e8cdfe5aebd8d(...).jpg (744 KB, 2728x2708) EX hello everyone, I need your help with something that happened and I don't know what to do also sorry for the big text. I tried making a post yesterday on int didn't get much help, please do not be very harsh on me Anonymous 04/24/23(Mon)12:03:03 No.30672489 ► >>30672492 >So family came from Morocco to visit me mother father etc in Portugal, they arrived Friday but it happened Saturday, they went shopping and I wanted to grind COD stuff and my cousin, 22 male, didn't want to go cause boring so we stayed both at home. >Me and my cousin are pretty close game all the time together and when we were younger we'd spend the summers together >be me, 21 male >grinding DMZ with my cousin cause it gives mega XP and double xp weekend >after 2-3 hours of grinding I get bored >repetitive gameplay, to be expected >going to take shower cause nothing else to do and works as a gaming break >"hey, what if I washed your back ?" >No, that's weird. >"We used to do it back then it's no big deal" >Now it's different though >"No it's not don't be such a p----" >goes back and forth and somehow we end up both in the shower >he washes my back as promised feels more like a massage though but I won't complain >"what about the front ?" >what about it? >"I'll clean it too" >"it's literally the same as washing your back" he says before I say anything >uh okay >I turn around to now face him, he starts rubbing soap on me. >though he slowly goes lower and lower, at this point I look at him and we're both staring at each other. At this point I kinda guess what he's thinking about but weirdly enough I don't retort or anything and he just holds my penis and starts stroking it slowly >"hold mine as well" >I I kinda just did it and started touching him >mentally I knew I shouldn't but I kept doing it >he then held both of them together and we rubbed them together while looking into each other eyes >it felt really good I must confess and at some point I leaned in and started kissing >we then you know, it came out and we cleaned ourselves >and went back to gaming Anonymous 04/24/23(Mon)12:03:33 No.30672492 >>30672489 (OP) continue >>30672713 I'm not the most religious but am I f----- ? is there any forgivness for such acts I mean there was no penetration but still IDk what to do, he told me that we should talk on 25 about waht happened since no one works or studies but I don't know what to say, I think its wrong but it it did feel really good and I ddin't dislike it I think please help me out what do

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My face when slam dunk has no net or rimming | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)04:46:26 No.70663612 ► >>70664848 >>70669108 >>70661812 (OP) this one happened a few weeks ago >at health food store buying whey >6/10 blonde (still a qt) is ringing me up >typical customer service smalltalk >break in conversation >she says, "Okay, weird compliment, but you have a really nice face" >I'm shocked, manage to say thanks >"Yea, just something about it is very aesthetically pleasing" >tell her she is too kind and leave the store should have at least asked for her number, I don't think there is more of a slam dunk than that Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)18:12:04 No.70669108 >>70669150 >>70672725 >>70663612 >>70664848 >"weird compliment, but you have a really nice face" Th-Thanks, Y-you too...to sit on... >"What?" It's comfortable seating.....my face when...I mean, my face..... >Ummmm, okay? I mean you could sit, not that i'd want you to, haha, I mean if you wanted....I mean..... >Here's you reciept.

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Anon breaks world record | /r/Greentext

Anonymous today @ time o'clock_no.# 1 > 420 replies [STICKED THREAD] >be me >make up a fake greentext story on reddit >everyone is fooled >one million upvotes in my pocket >the world record association contacts me >ask me to become CEO of world record enterprizes international >say no >open youtube >type in female try on haul >masturbate (this part is real) thumbs_up_cool_brother.jpg

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Anon is not a fan of blacks | /r/Greentext

: Kek I hate n------ 105 KB JPG 07/11/21(Sun)00:43:42 No.64516704 >be me >34 year old white American burger >hate n------ >n------ ruined America >n------ ruined everything >sick of f------ n------ >a wild idea appears >Google whitest country on Earth >Ukraine >f--- it, buy one way plane ticket >sell everything >get on plane, ohshitniggawutareyoudoing? >land in Kyiv, Ukraine >everyone is white >everyone is nice >everyone hates n------ >feelsgoodman.jpg >finally happy with life >walk around city >find gigantic frog statue, pic related >praise Kek, it was destined >mfw I move to Ukraine because I hate n------

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When the girl you meet to specifically not make you feel lonely makes you lonely | /r/Greentext

148 KB JPG >finally get a gf >cute face, nice body, finally have sex >doesn't feel as fulfilled as I thought. Enjoy my time off when she leaves why?

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Anon takes a bath | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/24/23 (Mon)17:57:08 No.73076544 29 comfy.jpg 271 KB JPG >>73076252 (OP) # I'm in heaven. >taking a bath and listening to the beatles Why didn't you f------ tell me how good this feels?

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