Anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 3 KB JPG >the year is 2035 >cars have been banned >everyone rides bikes 03/26/23(Sun)13:25:59 No.1900037 >not richfags ofc, they still drive and there's nothing you can do about it >roads have been shrunk to build more microapartments >so you're stuck in (bike) traffic >bikes now require loicence plates >and to follow traffic laws >and to pay road taxes >and insurance >and to have a riding loicence >and there are bike speed cameras >you can barely afford this >your commute road is blockaded by generation ligma activists from the do-what-we-say-else-the- world-is-going-to-end-for-real-this-time ngo >"NOBODY NEEDS A BIKE, WALKING IS BETTER FOR THE ENVIRONMENT" they shout >it starts raining 55 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon plays the guessing game | /r/Greentext

Cyb(OR)g !FQ5As2D/.o 04/01/15(Wed)19:08:40 No.17578453 >meet girl on website >she tells me how she isnt a girl >uh are you a trans or something? >no, im not a boy either >what are you then? 37 KB JPG >im not telling, you have to guess >mentally ill? >she instantly blocks me Felt good man.

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Anon regrets it all | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >do well on every other assignment, do absolute horse s--- on exams >want to be a pilot or even an astronaut >"sorry anon you dont have the eyes for that" >last resort 15 KB JPG 06/12/20(Fri)19:40:01 No.829860654 >be me, turning 19 soon >want to get a degree in some sort of IT field >want to enlist in the military >have flat feet (asymptomatic but i would be worried about them becoming symptomatic despite the improvements ive made since i first had them) >mfw this feels like the end and i have nothing else to do. those are the only fields i want to go into. i dont want to be a wagie nor a neet but it feels like ill be headed down one of those routes why did my parents f------ procreate? they claim to be prolife yet i need to suffer from their s----- genes. this isnt fair 6 Replies View Thread

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The telltale heart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Heartbeat 41 KB PNG 12/05/22(Mon)15:35:52 No.71275834 Little story that im proud of >Be me >be born with the curse of anxiety >be like 8, s---'s is a problem so big that my parents can't ignore it >unable to speak to new kids or in front of the class >be 14 >decide to change >force myself to do everything that makes my heart go full speed >be 18, i did it, sorta, i can act calm but still im a nervous wreck >Be me now >studying to be a nurse >have to do a presentation in front of the class about anything for a s--- subject that no ones cares about but it's the last grade of it, so everyone is there. >there's a catch, whoever goes in front, will have a heartbeat monitor on >the day comes, and all girls that goes in front sees their heartbeat and go full panic mode, stuttering and stammering >"Your turn anon" >everyone sees my heartbeat, goes between 120- 150 >act so calm during the whole thing >i can actually see the shock faces of ppl whos paying attention and understands what's happening >i get a genuine applauses >teacher congratulates me >i feel so happy but i leave the classroom beacause im still a p---- >next day >girl: "Hey anon, you know this?" >"Yeah, i can explain it", acting cool with my kinda fake cool voice >"Hey anon, are you nervous now?" >".... Yeah" >Smiles at me and chuckles This was yesterday, and kinda felt good that people realized how much effort i put on social stuff and i wanted to share it with someone

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anons discuss the difference between reddit and 4chan game reviews | /r/Greentext

e: 1449820956231.png (89 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 04/08/23(Sat)14:03:03 No.633432745 ► >>633432836 >>633432890 >>633432956 >>633433049 >>633433151 >>633433590 >>633433846 >>633434120 >>633434651 >>633436203 >negative game review >"I wanted to like it, I really did" Anonymous 04/08/23(Sat)15:19:06 No.633436203 >>633432745 (OP) >4chan game review >"I wanted to hate it, I really did"

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anon uses google earth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/08/23 (Sat)06:02:52 No.72870186 >be me 9th grade with no friends >sit in the computer lab all day when i can and just look up random stuff on wikipedia and look at places with google earth >in a random geography class and sit in the back near the computers to avoid everyone >class was mostly african american so it was really loud all the time >just sit in the back to avoid it and go on google earth to look like im doing something important >eventually after getting picked on for never talking, one of the loudest guys in the class walks up to me on the computer and asks what im doing "uh its google earth, you can go like anywhere in the world" >guy gets the biggest smile ever and asks if he can use the computer >i let him on and he immediately zooms into Louisiana >random ass swamp town in the middle of nowhere >tell him how to use the street view to move around >he starts telling me about every street and house as he moves down, tells the names of all the people that live in every house >he get to a run down middle school and gets kinda quiet, looks at it for like 3 mins and seems like hes about to cry before he laughs then says thank you to me >day after day the other kids as to use the computer and eventually they are all full >ever kid just goes to their old house, looks around and tells me about it >after like 1 week im basically best friends with everyone in the class, dont get picked on anymore and they try to bring me into conversations and its actually really nice thanks google earth Google Earth >>72870219

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Anon and Terry the tard | /r/Greentext

- download.jpg (14 KB, 290x174) google iqdb wait >ohshit.bat >terry goes full tard >sprints at me >he screams a mighty war cry "HABALUUU" >oh s--- Anonymous 11/01/16(Tue)19:45:17 No.710193039 [4] [Reply] ill start off >Be me, 13, Jr high >gym class >all students are sitting in attendance rows on gym floor >we began warm up exercises. >notice terry tard struggling to do jumping jacks >make eye contact >tackled to ground by tardo >drools on me as he starts dry humping me >mfw >people laughing as i'm being r---- by terry the tard. >tard police wrestles him off me >terry is dragged away >scared for life.mp4 >we finish warmups >students are told to make teams of 8 for floor hockey >students sit on bleachers as the first 2 teams play >they finish their game >our team is called up next >we're playing terry the tard's team >terry boasts about being the best hocky player because his dad is Canadian >i play goalie >terry gains possession of the puck >slides the puck down the gym towards me >im ready >tard shoots puck at goal >pro skills engaged >puck blocked >terry prides himself in hockey and i just blocked his shot >tard rage activated >notagain.zip >tardo bitch slaps me with a hockey stick like the w---- i am >blood everywhere >class watches as i'm plumbed by retarded terry >tard police comes to the rescue >terry breaks the f------ jaw of the tard police >the teachers run in and are able to pull tardo off of me >my face looks like hiroshima >rushed to nurse and bandaged up >tard police and terry weren't seen for the rest of the school year lesson: don't piss off a f------ tard V

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Anon has the shakes | /r/Greentext

anonymous 45 KB GIF 04/08/23(Sat)07:54:13 No.72867942 >drunk for 5 days straight >arms are shaking even though I'm still drunk >2 days are lost already >will need to wait for my body to tell me the alcohol's clear >I've still got about 700ml of vodka

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Anon wasted 60$ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous gaming communities are trash 3.68 MB PNG 04/08/23(Sat)07:40:52 No.7286784 >try to play Warhammer 3 >play as bretoniian knight faction >get curb stomped by fat green guy on the first three turns >spend two days trying 29 different approaches >die >try to call for aid from forest elves >die >try to bum rush orc capitals >die >ask for help >get s----- awful advice from cocky s------- neckbeards >teehee werks on my machine bro, itz not even hard. itz so EZ >look at their playthroughs and they get stomped as well Ok so these games are just ass. I wasted $60

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Anon identifies his ideal woman | /r/Greentext

539-4041-6644- (...).Jpg 6x966) Anyone else think kim jong uns sister is a goddess? >be her >dictators sister >stunning asian beauty >has supreme power over any man or women in her country >probably likes her men submissive and eager >be me >would be faithful slave to this c-- goddess >also be me, suffer from premature e---------- >if I sploooged early on her I could make a joke about North Koreans liking explosive rockets being launched without permission She would probably have me killed. Would 100% be worth it.

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Anon isn't so anon anymore | /r/Greentext

1637567877195.png 2.02 MB PNG New Dragonball game. Thoughts? Anonymous name? >>578970065 # >>578970115 # Anonymous >>578970020 # What mine? Tony. 11/22/21(Mon)10:01:13 No.57897002 11/22/21(Mon)10:01:50 No.57897006

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Why are women like this? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 458 KB GIF >have ex-bf >was really the nicest guy I've ever met, and took me this long to realise what a positive influence he left >wasn't ready for him back then, as personal life drama made maintaining relationships impossible >look him up for the first time in eight years >he's now with a girl, and traveling to all the places he and I talked about traveling >she's 12 years younger than him Why do men do this? : Anonymous >>26651696 (OP) # >break up with a guy >he moves on and finds someone else >"why do men do this?" Are you mentally challenged?

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Team rocket has taken over 4chan | /r/Greentext

File 1156935970.jpg-(33 KB, 568x426, 1145114150592.jpg) 08/30/06(Wed)06:07:43 No. 12286636 File :1156936063.jpg-(18 KB, 124x124, 1156897525393.jpg) File :1156936115.jpg-(13 KB, 127x123, 1156897738887.jpg) TO UNITE ALL PEOPLE WITHIN OUR NATION 08/30/06(Wed)06:09:07 No. 12286665 File :1156936147.jpg-(18 KB, 124x124, 1156897789331.jpg) >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:09:23 No. 12286669 TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH AND LOVE >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:09:36 No. 12286675 TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE File :1156936163.jpg-(14 KB, 127x123, 1156897846195.jpg) JESSIE >> 08/30/06 (Wed)06:10:14 No. 12286694 File :1156936176.jpg-(19 KB, 124x124, 1156897876698.jpg) JAMES File :1156936214.jpg-(19 KB, 183x141, 1156897922081.jpg) >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:11:01 No. 12286713 TEAM ROCKET BLAST OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT File :1156936261.jpg-(24 KB, 207x128, 1156897951950.jpg) >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:11:21 No. 12286720 >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:11:54 No. 12286732 SURRENDER NOW OR PREPARE TO FIGHT File :1156936281.jpg-(20 KB, 133x129, 1156898106511.jpg) MEOWTH THAT'S RIGHT File :1156936314.jpg-(18 KB, 124x124, 1156898208900.jpg) >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:12:18 No. 12286743 NOW WE'RE GOING TO CAPTURE THAT PIKACHU File:1156936338.jpg-(16 KB, 128x128, 1156898312796.jpg) ΡΙΚΑ ΡΙ >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:12:54 No. 12286757 >> 08/30/06 (Wed)06:13:12 No. 12286767 File :1156936374.jpg-(16 KB, 127x122, 1156898514323.jpg) POKEBALL GO File :1156936392.jpg-(19 KB, 135x128, 1156898543756.jpg) BONK >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:13:46 No. 12286778 08/30/06(Wed)06:06:10 No. 12286610 >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:07:23 No. 12286630 >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:14:13 No. 12286782 File :1156936426.jpg-(16 KB, 125x147, 1156898741337.jpg) File :1156936043.jpg-(14 KB, 128x123, 1156897302252.jpg) >> 08/30/06 (Wed)06:14:44 No. 12286792 File :1156936453.jpg-(27 KB, 206x119, 1156898790134.jpg) File 1156936484.jpg-(15 KB, 114x126, 1156898871418.jpg) PINIT >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:15:37 No. 12286816 File :1156936537.jpg-(18 KB, 117x129, 1156898893161.jpg) KAAAAAAA >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:16:32 No. 12286838 08/30/06(Wed)06:16:04 No. 12286826 File :1156936564.jpg-(19 KB, 185x87, 1156898937566.jpg) >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:16:47 No. 12286842 File:1156936592.jpg-(17 KB, 132x137, 1156899014003.jpg) CHUUUUUUUUUUUUU >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:18 >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:17:07 No. 12286849 File :1156936607.jpg-(11 KB, 127x123, 1156899166200.jpg) >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:17:28 No. 12286861 File :1156936627.jpg-(12 KB, 127x124, 1156899190936.jpg) >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:18:02 No. 12286872 File:1156936648.jpg-(10 KB, 127x103, 1156899228724.jpg) File :1156936682.jpg-(32 KB, 229x126, 1156899296404.jpg) >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:18:30 No. 12286884 LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAA File:1156936710.jpg-(21 KB, 178x118, 1156899319199.jpg) AAAAAAaaaaaaa 12286889 File :1156936730.jpg-(6 KB, 63x66, 1156899357825.jpg) aaaaaaaaaaa >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:19:16 No. 12286905 aaaaaaaaa File :1156936756.jpg-(3 KB, 112x114, 1156899399603.jpg) >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:20:13 No. 12286931 File :1156936813.jpg-(886 B, 118x121, 1156899439336.jpg) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaain- 08/30/06(Wed)06:20:34 No. 12286936 File:1156936834.jpg-(1 KB, 124x127, 1156899473709.jpg) DING >> 08/30/06 (Wed)06:21:27 No. 12286951 TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVESTATION 08/30/06(Wed)06:21:01 No. 12286946 File :1156936861.jpg-(15 KB, 119x122, 1156899756954.jpg) YAY WE DID IT >> 08/30/06(Wed)06:21:57 No. 12286961 File :1156936887.jpg-(16 KB, 124x147, 1156899819213.jpg) PIKACHU >> 08/30/06 (Wed)06:22:17 No. 12286963 File :1156936917.jpg-(26 KB, 181x147, 1156899859746.jpg) I LOVE YOU PIKACHU File :1156936937.jpg-(28 KB, 181x147, 1156899952205.jpg)

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