Skill Issue | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 1 hour ago 4566.jpg (121 KB, 633x758) 7 REPLIES 0 IMAGES >had sex >she was short haired I'm still a virgin guys 54514604

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Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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anon discovered something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 66 KB JPG 05/04/22(Wed)18:58:09 No.877499651 >Seen IKEA difficult assembly memes >Order several pieces of furniture over three weeks. >No missing pieces >No confusing assembly, no troubles assembling what so ever. Are Americans just retarded?

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Anon thinks he's Neo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 94 KB GIF 03/27/22(Sun)15:46:05 No.875204912 >be me >at school >been drifting in and out of sleep >kindof into lucid dreaming >think im asleep, so i check >board is full of alien language >figure im asleep >think what should i do >decide to make a sex dream >walk up to crush >grab her t-- >realize im awake >entire class is staring at me >t-- still in my hand >deerinheadlights.jpg >decide theres only one way to recover >fall on the floor >start faking seizure >nobody buys it >go back to my seat now i know why everyone hates me so much

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Anon listens to creepypasta | /r/Greentext

i (29).jpg 34 KB JPG >listen to hours long old creepypasta about deep web cosmic horrors >narrator sounds like a traumatized twink >want to f--- him and cuddle and comfort him afterwards >don't care about the plot that much, even though it's pretty good, just the narrator's submissive and breedable voice Is this based?

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Anon makes an offer you can’t refuse | /r/Greentext

image.jpg 135 KB JPG >You pull up, on the day of my homeboy's kickback >And you lowkey ask me for a solid?

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/v/ plays chess | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 4.png (40 KB, 930x256) 2 LE >"HAHA CHECK! YOU MUST NOW SACRIFICIE YOUR KNIGHT AND LOSE THE GAME!" >"Hmm... I think I will get out of this tricky situation by castling" >"NOOO! YOU CAN'T CASTLE!" >"Why?" Anonymous 03/27/23(Mon)16:02:31 No.632171962 >>632172095 >>632172176 >>632172342 >>632172496 >>632172542 >>632173517 >>632173598 >>632173641 >>632174617 >>632174631 >>632174681 >>632175117 >>632175249 >>632176323 >>632176626 >>632177324 >>632177738 >>632178259 >>632178534 >"BECAUSE YOU ARE IN CHECK!" >"But I will get out of check by castling" >"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT... BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY?!" Anonymous 03/27/23(Mon)16:14:14 No.632172541 >>632172580 >>632178313 >>632178594 File: 1679914951191527.png (14 KB, 311x256) f >I use my pawn to attack the queen and block her advance >NOOOO YOU CAN'T DO THAT >what do you mean? I just move it to the lower square >NOOO PAWNS CAN'T MOVE DOWN THEY CAN ONLY MOVE IN ONE DIRECTION >but it's right next to the queen >NOOOOOOO THAT'S ILLEGAL. YOU CAN'T MOVE IT THERE BECAUSE... YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY?!?!

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Anon Visits Omegle | /r/Greentext

File: 1353785650715.png-(1002 KB, 1366x768, t6g7b.png) Anonymous (ID: Fvt2mZtu) 11/24/12(Sat) 14:34:10 No.439153970 Replies: >>439154324 >>439154395 ok /b/ I got a story for yous. happened yesterday. >but he says somethings lol your d--- is tiny >is this n---- for real it's bigger than yours f----- >parents go to store >didn't say how long they are gone for >i don't care timetofap.jpg >go on omegle >headphones in, time to do this >start jacking off looking for girls >they all disconnect, this goes on for like an hour >another dude jacking off comes on >about to click disconnect >start going faster to make my d--- harder and therefore bigger see mines bigger f----- >he's doing the same thing i can tell >all of sudden hear a scream >look behind me, mother there speechless ohfuckno >put my pants on so quick >don't know what to say just looking straight into my mom's eyes speechless >dad comes in, his face turns to horror WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING! >mom dad i'm sorry GO THE F--- UPSTAIRS >go to turn off the computer so i can run >turn around, this f----- is still there jacking off mfw

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Anon is fish | /r/Greentext

26 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous 10 TetraMin 68 KB JPG Anonymous >be me >fish ><> : Anonymous >>848124746 (OP) # good thread Agreed here ya go bud keep on rocking View Thread 02/23/21(Tue)14:38:48 No.848124843 02/23/21(Tue)14:39:52 No.848124908 02/23/21(Tue)14:42:19 No.848125078

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Anon has a super gay dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)09:04:21 No.28673243 I got a run in with a possible dream demoness too. >be me >about 10 >wake up in bed, middle of the night >room is brightly lit while it should've been pitch black (my mom works nights, I sleep in her bed) >there's a pretty lady in a red dress in the foot of the bed >asks me to sit beside her >i am compelled to do it >she shows me how to sex, i finally learn that the belly button is not a sex organ >teaches me how to rub my pee pee >at the end she puts the red dress on me >i go and pleasure myself in bed >i realize i'm in her body now >orgasm and wakeup >start crossdressing the very next week That f----- me up from a very early age.

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Anon takes fourchan’s advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous A LUMIBLY FORE 03/27/23 (Mon)10:37:00 No.896586420 193 KB JPG >lonely, no friends >vent on fourchan >fourchan: "do the things your enjoy anon, don't worry about having friends, once you start doing things you like, you will get friends and will be happy regardless" >ok thank fourchan I will go to museum nearby >go to purchase ticket: one ticket for the guided tour please >attendant: "one ticket? Haha we never get solos haha welcome" >look around and realize it's all families and couples in the tour and I'm the only lonely loser >spend the whole trip feeling awkward Didn't even enjoy the tour because I was self conscious the whole time. I definitely need to figure out how to get friends /b/ your previous advice was s---

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Anon gets advice for wandering Las Vegas underground tunnels. | /r/Greentext

03/26/23(Sun)19:57:28 No.34403640 : Anonymous >walk with big, heavy loud steps >Whenever you come across a tunnel occupant yell at them 'what are you looking at?' 'you wanna start?' 'you talking to me?' etc >This is so they know you are not scared >If attacked scream 'I have autism and I'm from Australia!' Stick to your YouTube videos and stay the f--- out of there

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Anon must sneeze. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago >be me >at work 788931223 >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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Polish anon cums to moans | /r/Greentext

File: 8eb[1].jpg (40 KB, 657x527) ABSEL GEL DISUGSTIGN O Anonymous (ID: 7YFnDapt) | 03/27/23(Mon)14:42:09 No.421200957 ► >>421201052 >>421201112 >>421201177 >>421201181 >>421201280 >>421201353 >>421201782 >>421201820 >>421201913 >>421201955 >>421202000 >>421202153 >>421202268 >>421202284 >>421202382 >>421203528 >live in commie block, can hear everything through walls >lie in the bed >hear milf neighbour moaning >is she having segz? >diamonds.exe >fap furiously to her moans >c-- buckets >today parents tell me that she died to stroke >mfw I fapped to her agony it's political because she was vaxxed

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