Anon Visits Omegle | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 1353785650715.png-(1002 KB, 1366x768, t6g7b.png) Anonymous (ID: Fvt2mZtu) 11/24/12(Sat) 14:34:10 No.439153970 Replies: >>439154324 >>439154395 ok /b/ I got a story for yous. happened yesterday. >but he says somethings lol your d--- is tiny >is this n---- for real it's bigger than yours f----- >parents go to store >didn't say how long they are gone for >i don't care timetofap.jpg >go on omegle >headphones in, time to do this >start jacking off looking for girls >they all disconnect, this goes on for like an hour >another dude jacking off comes on >about to click disconnect >start going faster to make my d--- harder and therefore bigger see mines bigger f----- >he's doing the same thing i can tell >all of sudden hear a scream >look behind me, mother there speechless ohfuckno >put my pants on so quick >don't know what to say just looking straight into my mom's eyes speechless >dad comes in, his face turns to horror WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING! >mom dad i'm sorry GO THE F--- UPSTAIRS >go to turn off the computer so i can run >turn around, this f----- is still there jacking off mfw

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Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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Anon is fish | /r/Greentext

26 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous 10 TetraMin 68 KB JPG Anonymous >be me >fish ><> : Anonymous >>848124746 (OP) # good thread Agreed here ya go bud keep on rocking View Thread 02/23/21(Tue)14:38:48 No.848124843 02/23/21(Tue)14:39:52 No.848124908 02/23/21(Tue)14:42:19 No.848125078

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Anon has a super gay dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)09:04:21 No.28673243 I got a run in with a possible dream demoness too. >be me >about 10 >wake up in bed, middle of the night >room is brightly lit while it should've been pitch black (my mom works nights, I sleep in her bed) >there's a pretty lady in a red dress in the foot of the bed >asks me to sit beside her >i am compelled to do it >she shows me how to sex, i finally learn that the belly button is not a sex organ >teaches me how to rub my pee pee >at the end she puts the red dress on me >i go and pleasure myself in bed >i realize i'm in her body now >orgasm and wakeup >start crossdressing the very next week That f----- me up from a very early age.

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Anon takes fourchan’s advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous A LUMIBLY FORE 03/27/23 (Mon)10:37:00 No.896586420 193 KB JPG >lonely, no friends >vent on fourchan >fourchan: "do the things your enjoy anon, don't worry about having friends, once you start doing things you like, you will get friends and will be happy regardless" >ok thank fourchan I will go to museum nearby >go to purchase ticket: one ticket for the guided tour please >attendant: "one ticket? Haha we never get solos haha welcome" >look around and realize it's all families and couples in the tour and I'm the only lonely loser >spend the whole trip feeling awkward Didn't even enjoy the tour because I was self conscious the whole time. I definitely need to figure out how to get friends /b/ your previous advice was s---

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Anon gets advice for wandering Las Vegas underground tunnels. | /r/Greentext

03/26/23(Sun)19:57:28 No.34403640 : Anonymous >walk with big, heavy loud steps >Whenever you come across a tunnel occupant yell at them 'what are you looking at?' 'you wanna start?' 'you talking to me?' etc >This is so they know you are not scared >If attacked scream 'I have autism and I'm from Australia!' Stick to your YouTube videos and stay the f--- out of there

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Anon must sneeze. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago >be me >at work 788931223 >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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Polish anon cums to moans | /r/Greentext

File: 8eb[1].jpg (40 KB, 657x527) ABSEL GEL DISUGSTIGN O Anonymous (ID: 7YFnDapt) | 03/27/23(Mon)14:42:09 No.421200957 ► >>421201052 >>421201112 >>421201177 >>421201181 >>421201280 >>421201353 >>421201782 >>421201820 >>421201913 >>421201955 >>421202000 >>421202153 >>421202268 >>421202284 >>421202382 >>421203528 >live in commie block, can hear everything through walls >lie in the bed >hear milf neighbour moaning >is she having segz? >diamonds.exe >fap furiously to her moans >c-- buckets >today parents tell me that she died to stroke >mfw I fapped to her agony it's political because she was vaxxed

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The logic of it all. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 86 KB PNG 03/21/23(Tue)06:52:09 No.250341473 >fantasy setting has magic and flying creatures >still using horses as main transportation 03/21/23(Tue)06:56:27 No.250341651 Anonymous >>250341473 (OP) # >setting has nuclear energy >still using coal as main energy source >>250341784 # >>250343657 # >>250344673 # >>250346290 # >>250350741 # >>250355196 # >>250355399 # >>250358696 # >>250362753 # >>250371435 # >>250374133 # >>250376847 # >>250377612 # >>250381483 # >>250381567 # >>250384563 # >>250385675 # >>250386814 # >>250395246 # >>250400522 #

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 46 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)13:57:04 No.72627450 Does having your d--- sucked count as losing your virginity?

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Anon went to art school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG 03/23/23(Thu)08:54:40 No.30197131 >be gay 20 >join art school >daydream about meeting cute artsy gay boys >day 1 >class is 90% women >the few men are all hideous and scary looking those twinkjak memes lied to me. what the f---

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Anon.. has a hiccup fetish? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/23 (Mon)12:00:09 No.72724454 a plankton in fedora crying.PNG 1668977161668.jpg 10 KB JPG >suffer from hiccup fetish >try nofap >not even looking at my weird p--- folder >making decent progress >suddenly, women just start hiccuping in public I am being conspired against

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Anon is an average /x/ user | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/26/23(Sun)20:36:25 No.30246753 The t-----'s ability to walk between two worlds like this has always fascinated me. It's very liminal, very luciferian. No wonder you girls were temple priestesses in previous lives. If you were able exist in both the male and female worlds it would make sense that you might also be able to communicate between the dead and the living, or between mortals and gods. The t----- in this sense is an oracular conduit. >>30246819 # >>30246823 # >>30246839 # Anonymous 03/26/23(Sun)20:42:12 No.30246819 >>30246753 # Based and same. Anonymous 03/26/23(Sun)20:43:38 No.30246839 >>30246753 # Meds

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Anon enjoys some Milk Duds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3 KB JPG 03/26/23(Sun)22:41:42 >eat a few handfuls of milk duds over the course of a few days >go for a walk and stomach begins to hurt >take s--- the next day No.72723406 >feel 3 s---- exit my anus but don't hear them plop >look down >3 s--- balls suspended from my anus by a caramel-like s--- rope >have to grab it with some toilet paper and remove it from my ass has this happened to anyone else or do i just have an extremely f----- digestive system?

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