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Anon must sneeze. | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Mar 27, 2023 at 10:24AM EDT
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![File: 8eb[1].jpg (40 KB, 657x527) ABSEL GEL DISUGSTIGN O Anonymous (ID: 7YFnDapt) | 03/27/23(Mon)14:42:09 No.421200957 ► >>421201052 >>421201112 >>421201177 >>421201181 >>421201280 >>421201353 >>421201782 >>421201820 >>421201913 >>421201955 >>421202000 >>421202153 >>421202268 >>421202284 >>421202382 >>421203528 >live in commie block, can hear everything through walls >lie in the bed >hear milf neighbour moaning >is she having segz? >diamonds.exe >fap furiously to her moans >c-- buckets >today parents tell me that she died to stroke >mfw I fapped to her agony it's political because she was vaxxed](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/558/564/114.png "Polish anon c--- to moans | /r/Greentext")
![File: not chad.jpg (67 KB, 640x888) ☐ I met him Anonymous 03/26/23(Sun)09:36:56 No.72716949 [Reply] ► >>72717854 >>72718830 >Be me, just turned 25 >Get new job, start last Monday as junior dev with startup >First day is orientation, HR stuff, meet the team, get a badge, getting a laptop. Pretty excited, first job after school. >Two senio=r dev's invite me to join them for lunch at one of the picnic tables in the plaza outside the building, we all get doordash >Eating when the senior guys says "There he is" >Look over, black benz parks in a reserved spot near the back entrance/plaza >See the guy inside swap out from sunglasses, gets out >Easily 6'2", in shape, blonde hair, lumberjack beard, broad shoulders, dress slacks and dress shirt, etc. >Walks over, greets the other two guys, turns to me >Bright blue eyes, warm smile, I feel like there is a spotlight on me, >"You must be the new guy! I'm Anon, what's your name?" >He talks to me for a minute or two, I am totally relaxed and at ease (normally I hate talking to strangers). He then talks shop a bit with the guys with me about our main software product. Goes on his way >Senior guy "You just met 50% of our profits. Anon the Salesman makes us as much as the other 8 salesmen and the sales manager put together. When he takes week off the principal investors don't sleep well." >Over the rest of the week I meet him a few more times, learn about him >Bought the car with his bonus from 2022. >Has a condo nearby >He's into cigars, whiskey, and is a donor to the local opera, goes to the opera all the time The final straw >Saw a picture of him from 3 years previous when he was hired. Surprised he had a strong jaw, thought guys grew beards to hide a weak chin. Commented he had a baby face. >My manager, "yeah, that's why he grew the beard, makes it harder to guess his age" >What? >"He just turned 26 last month" I met Chadwick Chaddington III, Baron of Chaddex, Lord of Chadsen Manor and f--- it hurts](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/558/437/fd8.png "anon meets chad | /r/Greentext")
![O school Anonymous 03/26/23(Sun)11:32:30 No.72718208 [Reply] ► >>72718558 School Stories Thread,I went to a pretty s--- school, so alot of stories. K-12 so I was with the same people. Gonna bounce around, these arent gonna be in order. >Be me, about 17 at the time. >School had a bad geese problem, almost everywhere on the lawn had s--- on it >Before you ask, there was more than once it was human. >Sitting with a friend of mine, Fredrick. Tard, but good kid. >Overhear some girl talking to her friend about how she would suck a dude off to get rid of the geese. >Nudge Fredrick and tell him. >I see an idea come over his face, and he hauls ass somewhere >Think hes gonna take a s---, and I just pull my phone out of my bag and d--- around. >Bell rings, and we have to go inside >Like 20 minutes later, in the computer lab. >hear screaming outside, Go outside to check on it. >F------ Fredrick killed a geese, brought it the half mile back to the front of the school, and is swinging it like a lasso screaming "I AM AN APLHA MALE" at the top of his lungs >This was 2020, so every man wanted to be an "Alpha Male" >My sides are in orbit, secretary is screaming. >I dont remember exactly what happened, but because of some random law, It was "Self Defense". >mfw day later Fredrick comes back to school like nothing happened.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/558/416/d58.png "anon is a bad friend | /r/Greentext")
![O Anonymous 03/27/23 (Mon)01:58:40 No.72720514 [Reply] ► >>72720625 >be me in highschool >stoner >always skip school to smoke with friend who is also stoner >always meet up and school then leave to go smoke >only place near the school that's secluded is a drain, basically a tunnel that you can sit / crawl in but not stand >one day we're in the drain and we notice a bong, not ours >there are others >write a message on the wall, "hello?" >come back a few days later, underneath is written "hi" >h-------- >start communicating with the unknown stoners >become friends >we always use their bong because it's better than ours even though it sits in a drain (we were gross) >one day friend comes and says he has some great weed >go to smoke it after school even though I need to take a s--- >end up smoking for ages and it's completely dark >we go to leave, but I want one big hit from the bong before we go >take the biggest rip possible >oh f--- >cough so hard I start to s--- my pants >rush out of the drain, wipe ass with leaves and ditch underwear, friend asks what's wrong, I say don't worry about it I'll be back in a sec >think it's not that bad >go back to drain after half an hour of blindly wiping in the dark >friend is still there >"what the f--- is that smell" >"I don't know what you're talking about bro" and go to take another hit from bong >he turns on light from phone >it's everywhere >I look like Augustus Gloop when he fell in the chocolate river >finger marks of s--- all over the bong where I touched it >friend almost vomits >he is a bro though, helps me clean myself using a puddle >we get most of it >we leave, forget about the bong >take the train home, people are getting up and moving to other carriages >come back a few days later >bong is gone >new message on the wall >"what the f--- is wrong with you, why did you smear s--- all over our bong? Kys" >never got another message on the wall or saw the bong again I miss you drain buddies, sorry about your bong](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/558/394/23b.png "anon misses his bong buddy :-( | /r/Greentext")
