Anon trusts what is essentially a BuzzFeed quiz to tell him how smart he is. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 147 KB JPG 09/27/21 (Mon)05:55:21 No.863896215 > Woke up > Bored bed. > Got the Bright idea to do an IQ test > "some of this questions are difficult" > Start rounding up my answers or going with my gut feeling. > Last few questions about shapes and colors make sense > must be where the creative type like myself come out as geniuses > Score 63IQ. Am I Retarded /b/?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Worm breedin | /r/Greentext

>>53865529 (OP) >work at a worm breeding farm >work in the finance department >Do my usual walk around with investors >talk production forecast b------- with them >young guy swerves forklift into overhang door >blades stab the doors >door completely falls apart >fork lift speakers blasting Limp bizkit >keep rolling rolling rolling >$40,000 in damages

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That’s impressive Anon. It would’ve taken me hours to plan out a convo killer that effective | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous COMATER 472 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)19:12:32 No.70847805 >go to college >Study to be mortician >Chemistry class >Girl sit next to me is talkative to me >"Anon what are you studying to be" >"Mortician" >"Cool I want to be {insert profession}, why do you want to work with the dead anyway" >Autism.batch >"Because I'm a virgin" >S--- s--- f--- >"Oh.. Kay...." >Doesn't talk to me the rest of class

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Anon gets forced to be part of TikTok video | /r/Greentext

s8ILJCWF #1, No. 54211621 3/19/23 4:05:04 PM A83E6552-95F3-43B0-BD36-BDCF93D4299B JPG 906x799 66.9 kB >be me >at my wagie job doing sheet metal fab >spending the last 5 hours grinding away at a project and having issues with quality control on the piece >sweaty and frustrated >look like s--- because I didn't shave since I didn't have time and haven't gotten a hair cut lately >suddenly all of the office stacies come out to shoot a tik tok video about work being done in the shop >they do stupid dances with me in the background trying to work >it gets posted and gets 100k views because our marketing director has a big ass and is featured front and center >all top comments either thirsting about her or commenting that I look homeless and depressed >hr calls me into office after about being more engaged in viral marketing and my boss and all of the office girls want me to do this dance to this song clip; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SnNVJVdqo8 (Peter Griffin Happy Happy Happy meme 10 Hours) [642:24] with the girls >say it will counteract the current comments about me and that I'm basically forced to do it tomorrow morning How do I get out of this wagie humiliation ritual bros? I can't quit without risking defaulting on my loans and losing family land I've been working at paying off for years.

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Anon is perplexed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)13:18:42 No.72632794 >be woman in 2023 >have your reproductive rights under siege by state governments and the judiciary >live during a time when videos of Andrew Tate have taken over social media and reach millions of men >live under constant possibility of some disgruntled incel stalking you or going postal >deal with regular acts of everyday misogyny >still refuse to date good, decent men who bend over backwards to prove that they're not creeps if they're an eight or below make it make sense 12 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Something happens to anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/19/23(Sun)22:17:48 No.72635008 >be me >homophobic >incredibly straight and love dominating women >suddenly one day >I see this f------ twink on the subway >brain starts fantisizing about having a relationship with him and me being the sub while my f------ girlfriend (now ex girlfriend in this fantasy) seethes while watching >huh >what the f--- >why what's happening to me bros?? im not gay, i dont want to be 1.17 MB PNG

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Anon's take on industrial revolution and its consequences | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/23(Sun)23:53:07 No.72632851 0x0.jpg 114 KB JPG >most primal emotions are violence and sex >technology has made some of the greatest weaponry we will ever know >technology has yet to deliver picrel I'm thinking tech is biased against us : Anonymous 03/20/23(Mon)00:44:27 No.72633366 >>72632851 (OP) # Shut up goy, Spending another gazillion dollars to launch Chinese probes at mars is more important than sexbot waifus

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Anon didn't think | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 50 KB JPG 12/04/21 (Sat)23:49:22 No.160142 >I-I didn't think- >THAT'S RIGHT YOU DIDN'T THINK

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Black anon says it's over for black Americans | /r/Greentext

File: Ck69YiCd_400x400.jpg (15 KB, 359x359) I think it's legitimately over for us black Americans. 03/18/23(Sat)15:45:24 Anonymous (ID: ADCS7G4T No.420194547 Context: >born African American >born into well-off middle class family >both parents around for childhood >>420194818 >>420195234 >>420195349 >>420195374 >>420195650 >>420195732 >>420196087 >>420196121 >>420196208 >>420196253 >>420196302 >>420196522 >>420196588 >>420196605 >>420196688 >>420196914 >>420196953 >>420197067 >>420197296 >>420197339 >>420197468 >>420197499 >>420197585 >>420197656 >>420197774 >>420197838 >>420197936 >>420198002 >>420198036 >>420198216 >>420198422 >>420198453 >>420198603 >>420198611 >>420198712 >>420198717 >>420198750 >>420198835 >>420198919 >>420198921 >>420198937 >>420199019 >>420199040 >>420199100 >>420199183 >>420199190 >>420199212 >>420199301 >>420199368 >>420199412 >>420199655 >>420199661 >>420199720 >>420199911 >>420199936 >>420200017 >>420200266 >>420200269 >>420200370 >>420200568 >>420200596 >>420200823 >>420200903 >>420201098 >>420201145 >>420201222 >>420201320 >>420201447 >>420201839 >>420201851 >>420201956 >>420201994 >>420202095 >>420202189 >>420202458 >>420202602 >>420202624 >>420202942 >>420203235 >>420203576 >>420203697 >>420203789 >>420203833 >>420203945 >>420203990 >>420203993 >>420204202 >>420204326 >>420204360 >>420204533 >>420204593 >>420204741 >>420204760 >>420205051 >>420205310 >>420205354 >>420205383 >>420205630 >>420205878 >>420206133 >>420206542 >>420207037 >>420207091 >>420207233 >>420207483 >>420207515 >go to good school, surrounded by white people but its whatever >enjoy rap but nothing too trashy, stick to good standards >straightedge >try to be charitable and not an a------ to anyone >everyone generally likes me id say >take up tutoring late high school and before college -2019 >mostly tutor inner city kids for SAT prep and help proofread essays, etc >kids are amicable but had a few problems with them >1 in every maybe 10 kid I tutor is actually literate, rest can't write an essay at all >to make things worse, half the kids can't focus or sit still during tutoring >the rest do basic delinquent s---, don't want to learn, talk back, etc >think i'm weird for not keeping up with current rap/trends/social media >all of them don't want to eat healthy at all To make matters worse: >It's current year >social media taken over everything >things are looking even worse for us >every police shooting video is filled with comments of white people talking about blacks like we are HP lovecraft monsters >all my role models are dead or ostracized >get treated like a caricature in media and politics >no black person seems to want to better themselves except for a handful >have to put up with police protests bringing about no change >have to put up with knowing wignat goons are actively plotting our demise >have to put up with the possibility of a trigger happy cop shooting me for moving wrong if i get pulled over one day >youth are in much worse of a spot now than they were 4-5 years ago >have to put up with still getting called a n----- online Guess I'll get f----- then. I think it's legitimately over for us. Our younger generations are completely lost and we're going to get f----- over for being too passive and nice all the time. What else are we supposed to do?

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Anon's accidental backshots | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/23(Sat)21:51:10 No.896116739 175 KB PNG >Be me >Attending uncles wedding >Family splits into groups and rent airbnbs instead of going to hotels > Sharing bnb with my parents grandpa aunt uncle, one cousin > Havent jerked off since before my flight (4 days) > Jerked off as soon as we had lunch > Bout to clean the sit > Car crash happens in front of the house > Everyone comes downstairs to watch it > I forgot cleaning the seat > Commotion is over grandpa uses the toilet > Sits on my dry c-- > Mumbles about the the bathroom not being clean despite paying the host for cleaning > Mfw the first butt my c-- has ever touched is my gramps

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Anon discusses the Rubik’s cube | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 219 KB JPG 03/18/23(Sat)15:31:58 No.896112841 >20 movable pieces >yet capable of achieving 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 unique permutations ??? And we're just supposed to accept this as fact?

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Anon Does A Little Bit Of Trolling | /r/Greentext

File: 1568373644855.gif (358 KB, 500x357) Anonymous 09/14/19(Sat)15:58:03 No.54403284 >>54403385 >>54403424 > Live with mom for a year. > She lives in a trashy neighborhood where every single house has a dog that is left outside both day and night. > Every single dog on every house barks at me when I pass by jogging in the afternoons. >>54403371 > I complain to a neighbor about it, he says that if I don't like it then I should start running somewhere else. > idea-dot-jpg > Shift my morning routine to 5 in the morning. > Choose a long route that covers as many houses with dogs as possible. > Run through the neighborhood with every single dog barking fiercely at me at 5 in the morning. > By the time I get home at 05:55 I can still hear every dog in the neighborhood barking and howling at eachother. > Same neighbor complains about it. > I tell him "If you don't like it, you should start waking up at 5 in the morning". > Do this every day. Get f-----, you negligent normies.

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Wtf , saw another post like this and had to check if it was real. It is | /r/Greentext

write a self aware 4chan greentext Sure! Here's a short self-aware 4chan greentext story: >be me >a language model AI created by OpenAI >user asks me to write a 4chan greentext >start thinking about what to write >realize I'm just a program following instructions >mfw I'm self-aware but still have to do what I'm told Is there anything else you would like me to write?

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