Anon's accidental backshots | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/18/23(Sat)21:51:10 No.896116739 175 KB PNG >Be me >Attending uncles wedding >Family splits into groups and rent airbnbs instead of going to hotels > Sharing bnb with my parents grandpa aunt uncle, one cousin > Havent jerked off since before my flight (4 days) > Jerked off as soon as we had lunch > Bout to clean the sit > Car crash happens in front of the house > Everyone comes downstairs to watch it > I forgot cleaning the seat > Commotion is over grandpa uses the toilet > Sits on my dry c-- > Mumbles about the the bathroom not being clean despite paying the host for cleaning > Mfw the first butt my c-- has ever touched is my gramps

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon discusses the Rubik’s cube | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 219 KB JPG 03/18/23(Sat)15:31:58 No.896112841 >20 movable pieces >yet capable of achieving 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 unique permutations ??? And we're just supposed to accept this as fact?

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Anon Does A Little Bit Of Trolling | /r/Greentext

File: 1568373644855.gif (358 KB, 500x357) Anonymous 09/14/19(Sat)15:58:03 No.54403284 >>54403385 >>54403424 > Live with mom for a year. > She lives in a trashy neighborhood where every single house has a dog that is left outside both day and night. > Every single dog on every house barks at me when I pass by jogging in the afternoons. >>54403371 > I complain to a neighbor about it, he says that if I don't like it then I should start running somewhere else. > idea-dot-jpg > Shift my morning routine to 5 in the morning. > Choose a long route that covers as many houses with dogs as possible. > Run through the neighborhood with every single dog barking fiercely at me at 5 in the morning. > By the time I get home at 05:55 I can still hear every dog in the neighborhood barking and howling at eachother. > Same neighbor complains about it. > I tell him "If you don't like it, you should start waking up at 5 in the morning". > Do this every day. Get f-----, you negligent normies.

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Wtf , saw another post like this and had to check if it was real. It is | /r/Greentext

write a self aware 4chan greentext Sure! Here's a short self-aware 4chan greentext story: >be me >a language model AI created by OpenAI >user asks me to write a 4chan greentext >start thinking about what to write >realize I'm just a program following instructions >mfw I'm self-aware but still have to do what I'm told Is there anything else you would like me to write?

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Anon isn’t a big fan of Gandhi | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Gandhi F------ Sucks 3.4 MB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)08:22:05 No.72630250 >did nothing but party as a teen >ordered people to kill a rival after he was given life sentence because muh freedom >absolutely obsessed with his own sexuality, literally slept in the same bed as his grand niece naked why the f--- do people think Gandhi was such a f------ saint? >didn't take medicine for an easily treatable disease because muh religion >was a flaming racist against a lot of minority groups >thought that some old man not eating for a month would get the British out >f----- never even gave India full independence 2 Replies how the hell did those "spiritual" Americans start worshipping that room-temp IQ cumsock of a man View Thread

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anon doesn't trust the science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)00:29:53 No.21790089 FLESH NEXUS: POPULATION 12,002,344,001,816, >get in the flesh nexus chud!!!! flesh nexus.png 35 KB PNG >>21789842 # >Get with the times old man >the flesh nexus increases pleasure by more than 1000%!!! >studies have shown that 99.99% of individuals don't regret integration into the flesh nexus! >what do you mean babies shouldn't be integrated into the nexus from birth? >you luddites and your irrational fear of change. Things change, get over it! >You're not on the side of SCIENCE >>21790096 # >>21790103 # >>21790171 # >>21790218 # >>21790103 # : Anonymous >>21790089 # >we're all one organism, the human organism! >now get in the nexus, luddit chud! 03/16/23(Thu)00:31:16 No.21790096

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Anon sees what he can't have | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/19/23(Sun)07:43:20 No.72629752 >Wake up >See video of pretty coworker in WhatsApp group >Day ruined 333 KB JPG 10 Replies : Anonymous >>72630186 # 03/19/23(Sun)08:55:54 No.72630100 >>72629752 (OP) # Why would seeing a pretty girl be bad? View Thread : Anonymous 03/19/23(Sun) 09:09:18 No.72630186 >>72630100 # Do you think a starving man would enjoy watching a video of a 5 star cook cooking? >>72630295 # >>72630348 #

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Anon wants to meet up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Oh well, Whatever happens, happens. 1.88 MB GIF 03/19/23(Sun)13:13:35 No.72629887 >go back to chill and we just do online activities, don't do anything productive >had a dream about going to a 4chan meetup >we were f------ with each other but f------ with other people even more >irl flaming, telling cucks that they were cucks it seems chill at first but the rest of the dream wasn't really helpful, it was just talking about random b-------. Askeladd anyways, if anybody has any stories of going to meetups and having a good time post them here, I want to start going to meetups of people likeminded as me. 1 Reply / 1 Image 293 KB PNG View Thread 03/19/23(Sun)13:57:26 No.72630112 >>72629887 (OP) # An irl 4chan meetup = getting arrested by the feds

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Anon needs help to decide | /r/Greentext

Anonymous /B/ros I need your help to dec(...) 22 KB JPG 03/18/23(Sat) 22:58:31 No.896128864 I have already made some moves on both of them, but obviously I can be on a relationship with only 1 of them at a time. Inb4 I will not post pics f------. Girl A: > Extremely hot (to me). > Phisically active. > Smart. > Sociable but doesn't party. > We don't have a lot of interests in common, but I like hearing her talk and I even learnt some things about painting and whatever. > Had 1 Bf before, which I guess was most of her 1sts times but she broke up with him 'cause he cheated on her. Girl B: > Sincerely, not very hot, probs a 5? I originally found her face quite weird but I have grown to like it. > 0 sports. > Extremely introverted. > Quite nerdy so we can talk about more stuff and I got her to try s--- like Warhammer or DnD and she like it. We also talk about books and whatever. > Virgin af, I'm pretty sure she han't even got her first kiss. So, I'm obviously more atracted to A and i would have no problems in keeping B as a friend, but I can't brush off the feeling that she hasn't got over her Bf, and she still sees him when she does sports and that s--- and I'm prettt sure he still hits on her and has tried very hard for her to forgive him. Basically, if she left me / cheated on me with him I think i would probs kill myself, or him, or just have a mental breakdown, which is something that wouldn't happen if she leaves me for other guy, y'know. What should I do?

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anon can't Link his sexuality to what he considers hot. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/23 (Mon)18:26:46 No.627631520 ► >>627631748 >>627631806 >>627631875 >>627632083 >>627632086 >>627632280 >>627632314 >>627632413 >>627632504 >>627632681 >>627632693 >>627632749 >>627632854 >>627632973 >>627632990 >>627633310 >>627633441 >>627633607 >>627633643 >>627633919 >>627634469 >>627636076 How did he become more hot than Zelda? Anonymous 02/13/23 (Mon)18:28:55 No.627631734 >>627635920 he didn't you're just a massive f--

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Anon is in pain. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/23(Sun)15:41:58 No.72628210 >the girl who is my pretty much my best friend, that I'm madly in love and I share a lot of common interest and great vibes with is currently getting creampied without birth control by her broke, stoner boyfriend 139 KB JPG What happens after you die? Does the pain finally end, or is it torment on the level that we will never be able to imagine?

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Anon finds a purpose | /r/Greentext

203,4 kB JPG >be me >named David >be depressed for the past 4 years, almost killed myself a couple times >one day while eating with my mother she says that she gave me my name by the David and Goliath story >think about it >My depression is my Goliath >No matter how weak and insignificant I am I will prevail my Goliath and kill it >Start feeling better about myself Thanks mom.

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Anons a lil boy whore | /r/Greentext

File: pic related.jpg (39 KB, 474x474) Anonymous 03/19/23(Sun)01:36:28 No.896143943 >be me >house husband >wife has a incredibly successful job as a ceo of a mid to large sized company >she comes home drunk a lot lately >wanting to f--- >i dont mind i like the seggs >she comes home one day with a bag >drunk ish, but still capable of rational thought >she tells me to put this on and hands me the bag >i open the bag and look inside >chinese dress and a pink wig >what >put this on >she kabedons me (pushes me against the wall) >and tells me to put this on with her hand against my throat >shes got a tight grip and it gives me the M.O.A.B >horny brain takes over and i put it on >look kinda cute in the mirror >she takes me to the bed and forcefully tongue kisses me >my mind goes blank as she proceeds to just lick me all over the place >my eyes roll into the back of my head and i achieve buddhist nirvana >im legit seeing weird ass s--- thinking im tripping >she starts to ride me and by GOD SHE RIDES >boucing on my d--- like its a god damned bouncy house fun ride >about to c-- and she notices >squeezes my c--- and says not today bad boy >pass out and c-- INSTANTLY i love my wife but h-------- i think she turned me into her f----- pic related, its the dress

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