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: Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)07:35:39 No.72456976 What's the most retarded and quirky thing a woman has ever done to you? >be me 17 >ex-gf with big boobs just turned 18 (severally autistic and carried a bunch of ex-boyfriend baggage) >we were having casual sex >starts making jokes about how she's a p-------- now >starts doing mommy roleplay and calling me her 366 KB JPG son >one day at school I tell her to cool it with the p--- jokes >she tries to kill herself by overdosing on her antidepressants the same day >tries to blame her attempt on me because I didn't love her enough >break up with her later on

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Hired help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 03/05/23(Sun)10:17:07 No.72458509 >be me, 26, no gf, no friends, started living on my own 5 months ago >started visiting a brothel 4 months ago after I reached a mental low point since being alone in an empty apartment really confronted me with my social situation >frequenting the brothel made fear about sex and women fade for the most part >used to last 30 sec to barely a minute fapping, now last 10 minutes easily as p--- stopped being exciting >getting all the cuddles and kisses Ive craved for so long >still not great at sex but slowly making little improvements, which the hookers remark to me >met a new qt chubbo arab h----- last week, super chill and honest girl >visited her again yesterday >it clicks so well between us we went 15 minutes overtime "on the house" >feeling less lonely, more confident, more masculine, less bored, g----------- every 2 weeks also works as a good reminder for grooming and haircuts >tfw visiting hookers actually has a positive influence on my life Any robot should give it a shot.

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Anon's sister is a big fan | /r/Greentext

This thread just reminded me >family Christmas party circa 2014-15 >sister's husband and kids head home early while she stays to drink and chat with some cousins >sometime close to midnight, she's very drunk and asks for a ride to her house >offer to drop her off on my way back to my apt >wasn't as drunk but really should not have been driving >she's yammering and jabbering drunkenly the whole way >say something like "damn [sister] you're drunk as a skunk right now!" >she suddenly confides in me that she had the biggest crush on Pepe Le Pew when she was younger and would wish constantly that he would chase her around and smooch her >start laughing >we're both laughing now >joke that she should try lying back and imagining her husband is Pepe Le Pew next time they do it (kind of a gross quip but again, I was drunk) >she meekly admits she actually does sometimes >quickly change the subject for a bit before getting to her house and dropping her off >my f------ face the whole way home I think (hope) she was too drunk to remember that because it's never come up again at any point since. Berry, if you're in this thread, yeah I admit I am still kind of embarrassed for you.

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Anon is a racist trumpy | /r/Greentext

File: Engineerava.jpg (20 KB, 146x146) Anonymous 01/04/16(Mon)01:46:55 No.661277454 ITT: Best online gaming experiences >Playing TF2 >Set my name to President Donald Trump >Join red team >Start talking to the guys on my team >Start saying we need to build a wall to keep the terrorists out >Entire team becomes engineers >We fortify the everloving s--- out of our intel room with sentry guns and dispensers >Entire game I was the top player on my team >Vote kicked a kid on our team who said he was Mexican

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Anon slipped up | /r/Greentext

: ENTJ H-------- im retarded 42 KB JPG >>72455247 # : Anonymous >>72455190 (OP) # youre prolly a n----- urself so its fine. kys n----- btw : ENTJ >>72455282 # 03/05/23(Sun)20:07:08 No.72455190 I spent all weekend on /r9k and went out in public for the first time to fill up gas and I accidentally called the cashier a n----- : Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)20:11:56 No.72455232 >>72455232 # Yeah but im also hot so I can pretty much get away with anything >>72455247 # >yeah but I'm hot Shut up n----- 03/05/23(Sun)20:14:15 No.72455247 03/05/23(Sun)20:19:19 No.72455282

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anon is destined to face Chris Hansen with the dateline production team and popo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.46 MB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)20:27:00 No.72457124 Guys help I'm scared and dont know what to do. Here is my story. >Parents charging stupid amounts for rent ($400 a month) so I really want to move out. >saw and add on Craigslist for a bedroom in a apartment >single mom with girl >the deal was that you have to pick the girl up and babysit her for 4 days out of the week and you live their for free >send email for s---- >person replies back in 10 mins and they want to meet this sunday I feel like i should meet up but I dont know if this is a good idea. : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # Are you sure they wont try to kill you >>72457364 # 03/05/23(Sun)20:39:32 No.72457245 pizza delivery anon : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # 400 a month is Jack f------ s---. 03/05/23(Sun)20:40:36 No.72457255 03/05/23(Sun)20:41:58 No.72457264 03/05/23(Sun)20:44:49 No.72457286 : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # what kind of careless mother leaves her daughter with some random dude from craigslist for 4 days a week. sounds like an FBI honeypot to catch pedos. i hope they get you anon

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Anon goes to r/greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/20/21 (Wed)13:29:00 No.865274492 >be me >decide to go on r/greentext because /r9k/ and /b/ have an unusually high amount of trannies than usual >notice the pinned post is from a subreddit mod bragging about how his sub is going to pass r/4chan >mfw its massively downvoted because nobody f------ cares 53 KB JPG >eventually refresh page >the post is suddenly 200 upvotes in the positives despite it having a 35/65 upvote/downvote ratio minutes ago >mfw this f------ reddit mod unironically bought upvote bots for his pinned post to make him feel better Why are reddit mods so f------ retarded?

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x-post from /r/4chan, Greentext collection. 150 greentext stories. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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anon discovers a life hack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous life hack 177 KB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)11:28:58 No.72455677 >be me >live in a city where it seems like it has been nuked >city looks like it time travelled to 60s >literally nowhere to go/explore and wander >most people, if not all people, are mentally f------ retarded, uneducated, uncivilized, some people even behave like feral ghouls (literally) >every time i go outside i get an urge to beat the f--- out of someone, since they all keep looking at me like i'm a f------ vault dweller >be me again >love fallout 3 >decide to download GNR playlist >everytime i go out i listen to the playlist >mfw it feels like i'm in fallout 3 >mfw i don't hate going out anymore >mfw i love going out with my GNR playlist >mfw s--- feels good so anons, what are your life hacks?

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Anon messes up | /r/Greentext

32 KB JPG I f----- up /b/ >Be me >Only slept 3 hours >Have to go gym in the morning >Decide to drink 3 cups of coffee so I won't feel like s--- >Drink them >Proceed to have a pb&j sandwich and a banana with it >Get to the gym >Start warming up, head to the bench press >Oh_shit_it's_kicking_in.zip >As soon as I lift up the bar, the force of 3000 Alabaman crackheads is bestowed upon me >Peak performance >5 minutes later I feel the rumbling >Oh f--- it's and earthquake >Wrong, it's my bowels >The doors of Sparta are being attacked >I let out the most vile, offensive and disgraceful smelling fart right in the middle of the free weight section >Wrong again, it's diarrhea >Take the walk of shame to the bathroom while my legs slowly start looking more and more like a Somalian child while leaving a chocolate trail behind me >Bluetooth earbuds die, Barbie girl hardstyle remix starts playing at full volume from my phone >Reach the bathroom >Enter toilet >Unleash a laminar flow jet of choccy milk unto the porcelain bowl >Realize there's no toilet paper

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Anon gets drunk at a party | /r/Greentext

03/05/23(Sun)02:48:09 No.181357152 ► >>181357180 >>181357212 >>181357275 >>181357343 >>181357499 >>181357559 >>181357630 >>181357657 >>181357672 >>181357744 >>181357802 >>181357822 >>181357831 Yesterday I went to a party at a friend's house and ended up embarrassing myself... Is there a movie where the protagonist is embarrassed in front of others so I can watch it and feel less bad? >I arrive at the party and see that there are a lot of people, a lot of drinks and food >I eat a sandwich, some pizza and two tacos >I'm an alcoholic so I'm going straight to the vodka >After a while I start to loosen up and realize I'm pretty drunk >I see a pretty girl and decide to try something on her >To impress her I show it how high I can jump > I lose my balance and fall onto a glass table where drinks and food were >Break the table, several bottles, food falls on the floor and a piece of glass hits the girl's leg (she was wearing a dress) and cuts her >She screams loudly and curses at me, some people laugh and others give me dirty looks >My friend gets mad and tells me to leave the party >Another friend who was leaving offers me a ride >I get sick in the car and throw up >He gets angry and curses at me I woke up today with a horrible hangover and a bunch of messages on my phone that I don't want to see it. Feels bad man...

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Anon gets help online | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10 KB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)12:35:37 No.895388649 >be me >browsing 4chan on a lazy Sunday afternoon >see a post about how to fix a clogged toilet FML >remember that my toilet has been clogged for a few days now >decide to try the suggested method >grab a plunger and go to work after a few minutes of vigorous plunging, the toilet overflows >panic and try to stop the water with a towel >slip and fall on the wet floor, getting covered in toilet water

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Anon feels misled about chads | /r/Greentext

File: 29A858A7-4E3E-48BE-9C19-4(...).png (420 KB, 912x1024) Anonymous (ID: VbhD16NT 03/04/23 (Sat) 15:59:33 No.418507467 >>418508657 >>418508920 >>418509568 >>418509806 >>418511520 >>418512102 >>418513222 >>418513518 >>418513828 >>418513845 >>418513886 >>418513954 >>418514474 >be me, oldfag living pretty standard wagie existence, paying my bills >grow up reading about the Chad vs Beta dichotomy on boards like this one >one day meet a real life Chad at work, beard, muscles, 6'8" at least, sounds like moistcritical >he's a coworker and we eventually start talking casually >he constantly brags about his illegal activities >whatever.png >he eventually talks me into taking a bump >it's f------ amazing and want more >start doing drugs and committing petty crimes together >one day he flirts with the female clerk at the store while I shoplift and we get away with it >one day, Chad gets caught in the act, rats me out to save his own skin >feel utterly betrayed by someone I thought was a friend >next thing I know I'm in a cell, serving time for my poor life decisions >would have gotten away with them if it wasn't for meddling Chad >realize that listening to an idiot like Chad just because of his demeanor and appearance as prestigious was the worst mistake I have ever made in my life >realize that the circlejerks you idiots here push only stem from your own cismanlet insecurities >your masculinity is so fragile from years of p--- that you actually think these "alpha" archetypes have it figured out, in reality they're just as retarded as anyone else but won the generic lotto >their advantage relies entirely on what society deems important, restructure it and they're just clown apes that die early Why did you bastards lie to me? Chads aren't wholesome, competent or even in the driver seat of their own life. Sure, I could have spent less time on 4chan, but you losers could have spent less time deifyng meatheads.

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Greentext Stories - Fly the Nest | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)07:35:39 No.72456976 What's the most retarded and quirky thing a woman has ever done to you? >be me 17 >ex-gf with big boobs just turned 18 (severally autistic and carried a bunch of ex-boyfriend baggage) >we were having casual sex >starts making jokes about how she's a p-------- now >starts doing mommy roleplay and calling me her 366 KB JPG son >one day at school I tell her to cool it with the p--- jokes >she tries to kill herself by overdosing on her antidepressants the same day >tries to blame her attempt on me because I didn't love her enough >break up with her later on

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