Anon's sister is a big fan | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

This thread just reminded me >family Christmas party circa 2014-15 >sister's husband and kids head home early while she stays to drink and chat with some cousins >sometime close to midnight, she's very drunk and asks for a ride to her house >offer to drop her off on my way back to my apt >wasn't as drunk but really should not have been driving >she's yammering and jabbering drunkenly the whole way >say something like "damn [sister] you're drunk as a skunk right now!" >she suddenly confides in me that she had the biggest crush on Pepe Le Pew when she was younger and would wish constantly that he would chase her around and smooch her >start laughing >we're both laughing now >joke that she should try lying back and imagining her husband is Pepe Le Pew next time they do it (kind of a gross quip but again, I was drunk) >she meekly admits she actually does sometimes >quickly change the subject for a bit before getting to her house and dropping her off >my f------ face the whole way home I think (hope) she was too drunk to remember that because it's never come up again at any point since. Berry, if you're in this thread, yeah I admit I am still kind of embarrassed for you.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a racist trumpy | /r/Greentext

File: Engineerava.jpg (20 KB, 146x146) Anonymous 01/04/16(Mon)01:46:55 No.661277454 ITT: Best online gaming experiences >Playing TF2 >Set my name to President Donald Trump >Join red team >Start talking to the guys on my team >Start saying we need to build a wall to keep the terrorists out >Entire team becomes engineers >We fortify the everloving s--- out of our intel room with sentry guns and dispensers >Entire game I was the top player on my team >Vote kicked a kid on our team who said he was Mexican

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Anon slipped up | /r/Greentext

: ENTJ H-------- im retarded 42 KB JPG >>72455247 # : Anonymous >>72455190 (OP) # youre prolly a n----- urself so its fine. kys n----- btw : ENTJ >>72455282 # 03/05/23(Sun)20:07:08 No.72455190 I spent all weekend on /r9k and went out in public for the first time to fill up gas and I accidentally called the cashier a n----- : Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)20:11:56 No.72455232 >>72455232 # Yeah but im also hot so I can pretty much get away with anything >>72455247 # >yeah but I'm hot Shut up n----- 03/05/23(Sun)20:14:15 No.72455247 03/05/23(Sun)20:19:19 No.72455282

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anon is destined to face Chris Hansen with the dateline production team and popo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.46 MB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)20:27:00 No.72457124 Guys help I'm scared and dont know what to do. Here is my story. >Parents charging stupid amounts for rent ($400 a month) so I really want to move out. >saw and add on Craigslist for a bedroom in a apartment >single mom with girl >the deal was that you have to pick the girl up and babysit her for 4 days out of the week and you live their for free >send email for s---- >person replies back in 10 mins and they want to meet this sunday I feel like i should meet up but I dont know if this is a good idea. : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # Are you sure they wont try to kill you >>72457364 # 03/05/23(Sun)20:39:32 No.72457245 pizza delivery anon : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # 400 a month is Jack f------ s---. 03/05/23(Sun)20:40:36 No.72457255 03/05/23(Sun)20:41:58 No.72457264 03/05/23(Sun)20:44:49 No.72457286 : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # what kind of careless mother leaves her daughter with some random dude from craigslist for 4 days a week. sounds like an FBI honeypot to catch pedos. i hope they get you anon

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Anon goes to r/greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/20/21 (Wed)13:29:00 No.865274492 >be me >decide to go on r/greentext because /r9k/ and /b/ have an unusually high amount of trannies than usual >notice the pinned post is from a subreddit mod bragging about how his sub is going to pass r/4chan >mfw its massively downvoted because nobody f------ cares 53 KB JPG >eventually refresh page >the post is suddenly 200 upvotes in the positives despite it having a 35/65 upvote/downvote ratio minutes ago >mfw this f------ reddit mod unironically bought upvote bots for his pinned post to make him feel better Why are reddit mods so f------ retarded?

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x-post from /r/4chan, Greentext collection. 150 greentext stories. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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anon discovers a life hack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous life hack 177 KB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)11:28:58 No.72455677 >be me >live in a city where it seems like it has been nuked >city looks like it time travelled to 60s >literally nowhere to go/explore and wander >most people, if not all people, are mentally f------ retarded, uneducated, uncivilized, some people even behave like feral ghouls (literally) >every time i go outside i get an urge to beat the f--- out of someone, since they all keep looking at me like i'm a f------ vault dweller >be me again >love fallout 3 >decide to download GNR playlist >everytime i go out i listen to the playlist >mfw it feels like i'm in fallout 3 >mfw i don't hate going out anymore >mfw i love going out with my GNR playlist >mfw s--- feels good so anons, what are your life hacks?

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Anon messes up | /r/Greentext

32 KB JPG I f----- up /b/ >Be me >Only slept 3 hours >Have to go gym in the morning >Decide to drink 3 cups of coffee so I won't feel like s--- >Drink them >Proceed to have a pb&j sandwich and a banana with it >Get to the gym >Start warming up, head to the bench press >Oh_shit_it's_kicking_in.zip >As soon as I lift up the bar, the force of 3000 Alabaman crackheads is bestowed upon me >Peak performance >5 minutes later I feel the rumbling >Oh f--- it's and earthquake >Wrong, it's my bowels >The doors of Sparta are being attacked >I let out the most vile, offensive and disgraceful smelling fart right in the middle of the free weight section >Wrong again, it's diarrhea >Take the walk of shame to the bathroom while my legs slowly start looking more and more like a Somalian child while leaving a chocolate trail behind me >Bluetooth earbuds die, Barbie girl hardstyle remix starts playing at full volume from my phone >Reach the bathroom >Enter toilet >Unleash a laminar flow jet of choccy milk unto the porcelain bowl >Realize there's no toilet paper

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Anon gets drunk at a party | /r/Greentext

03/05/23(Sun)02:48:09 No.181357152 ► >>181357180 >>181357212 >>181357275 >>181357343 >>181357499 >>181357559 >>181357630 >>181357657 >>181357672 >>181357744 >>181357802 >>181357822 >>181357831 Yesterday I went to a party at a friend's house and ended up embarrassing myself... Is there a movie where the protagonist is embarrassed in front of others so I can watch it and feel less bad? >I arrive at the party and see that there are a lot of people, a lot of drinks and food >I eat a sandwich, some pizza and two tacos >I'm an alcoholic so I'm going straight to the vodka >After a while I start to loosen up and realize I'm pretty drunk >I see a pretty girl and decide to try something on her >To impress her I show it how high I can jump > I lose my balance and fall onto a glass table where drinks and food were >Break the table, several bottles, food falls on the floor and a piece of glass hits the girl's leg (she was wearing a dress) and cuts her >She screams loudly and curses at me, some people laugh and others give me dirty looks >My friend gets mad and tells me to leave the party >Another friend who was leaving offers me a ride >I get sick in the car and throw up >He gets angry and curses at me I woke up today with a horrible hangover and a bunch of messages on my phone that I don't want to see it. Feels bad man...

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Anon gets help online | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10 KB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)12:35:37 No.895388649 >be me >browsing 4chan on a lazy Sunday afternoon >see a post about how to fix a clogged toilet FML >remember that my toilet has been clogged for a few days now >decide to try the suggested method >grab a plunger and go to work after a few minutes of vigorous plunging, the toilet overflows >panic and try to stop the water with a towel >slip and fall on the wet floor, getting covered in toilet water

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Anon feels misled about chads | /r/Greentext

File: 29A858A7-4E3E-48BE-9C19-4(...).png (420 KB, 912x1024) Anonymous (ID: VbhD16NT 03/04/23 (Sat) 15:59:33 No.418507467 >>418508657 >>418508920 >>418509568 >>418509806 >>418511520 >>418512102 >>418513222 >>418513518 >>418513828 >>418513845 >>418513886 >>418513954 >>418514474 >be me, oldfag living pretty standard wagie existence, paying my bills >grow up reading about the Chad vs Beta dichotomy on boards like this one >one day meet a real life Chad at work, beard, muscles, 6'8" at least, sounds like moistcritical >he's a coworker and we eventually start talking casually >he constantly brags about his illegal activities >whatever.png >he eventually talks me into taking a bump >it's f------ amazing and want more >start doing drugs and committing petty crimes together >one day he flirts with the female clerk at the store while I shoplift and we get away with it >one day, Chad gets caught in the act, rats me out to save his own skin >feel utterly betrayed by someone I thought was a friend >next thing I know I'm in a cell, serving time for my poor life decisions >would have gotten away with them if it wasn't for meddling Chad >realize that listening to an idiot like Chad just because of his demeanor and appearance as prestigious was the worst mistake I have ever made in my life >realize that the circlejerks you idiots here push only stem from your own cismanlet insecurities >your masculinity is so fragile from years of p--- that you actually think these "alpha" archetypes have it figured out, in reality they're just as retarded as anyone else but won the generic lotto >their advantage relies entirely on what society deems important, restructure it and they're just clown apes that die early Why did you bastards lie to me? Chads aren't wholesome, competent or even in the driver seat of their own life. Sure, I could have spent less time on 4chan, but you losers could have spent less time deifyng meatheads.

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Anon has a skill issue | /r/Greentext

: blackpilled doomer ngmi Please be patient Scrv.xyz I have autism =3 19 KB PNG 1 Reply 03/05/23(Sun)08:58:16 No.72454747 ngmi >going nowhere >no longer have a gf >doubting my academic abilities >diagnosed schizophrenic >cant maintain a relationship is it over for me bros View Thread : Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)09:56:01 No.72455111 See if you can apply for disability, It will make academics easier. I hope that you realize your potential anon. Good luck

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This is exaggeration but I already lost hope after seeing new_Luis without his OG lines | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12 hours ago 1677895069959636.webm (2.5 MB, 854x480) 629725969 >>629719315 (OP) >no Ashley saying, "Ugh, you pervert!" >no Ashley saying, "Hey! What are you looking at?" >no animation of Ashley covering her skirt when you try to look up it and see her panties >no being able to freely stare at Ashley's panties from the bottom of a high enough ladder >no getting an accidental Ashley upskirt dialogue when performing a suplex on an enemy >no quick half a second slip of Ashley's panties during the cutscene where she and Leon leap through the church window to escape from the crossbow Illuminados >no easy distance panty shot of Ashley when she's cowering in fear in the presence of enemies, allowing for a clean angle of her white panties >no aiming a knife or grenade towards the sky in certain areas to lower the camera at a low angle to catch a glimpse of Ashley's panties >no quick glimpse of Ashley's panties during the cutscene when she is pushed by the Island Ganado when she's in captivity on the island >no shot of Ashley's panties as she crawls underneath the table during the section in the castle where she's playable For all the things this game is doing right, it censored, possibly even downright removed, the thing people wanted most. It murders an aspect of her character, rendering it essentially non-canon. Why is censorship so prevalent in gaming nowadays? I'm surprised they're even keeping in the gore given the extent that they're willing to go to censor something that the vast majority of players will never even see. This is dishonest, and suggests a lack of soul and attention to detail on the developer's part. No panties, no buy. Simple as.

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