James /B/ond | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/04/23(Sat)00:20:47 No.895309766 >Family size bucket of McDonalds Tendies, please >Oui, Monsieur. >Wait. 3 parts original recipe, 2 Extra Crispy. Add a heavy dash of the bubbling grease to the bucket. Pour 2 tubs of Cheese Dip and copious salt over and shake for several minutes. Finish with a 3 litre Mountain Dew and the entire set of Happy Meal Boys toys on the side, wrappers preopened. 69 KB JPG

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon has a Racist Grandpa | /r/Greentext

3:56 37m (3/3 15:18) · 72438349 · 1 Re - 0 Img JPG 49KB (750 × 659) · E995A8A3-0066-4651-A5EC-D21D653DDC47.jpg 1 Reply 4 98% >Be me 2 years ago >17 years old >Have a strained relationship with grandfather because he's racist >Always rants about immigrants everytime me and my dad visit him to the point where it gets annoying >One day he offers to drive me home from high school >When I get in the car, he says: >"I didn't know your school was infested with a bunch of border hoppers" >I didn't reply to that for a solid 20 seconds >Decide to break the tension >"Yeah but it's also infested with trans people. They're even worse" >Grandpa glances at me with a massive grin on his face >Pats me on the shoulder and cackles >"Hehe, I guess you and I aren't so different after all, anon" >Ffw to now, we've had a solid relationship ever since that day >He now visits me twice a month and always brings beer and pizza Thank you, racist grandpa 21m (3/3 15:35). 72438518 >>72438349 (OP) Why do you like wetbacks?

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Anon Thinks His Friend is Based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 243 KB PNG method? 03/02/23(Thu)22:07:42 No.72429509 >>72429003 (OP) # >My best friend killed himself with his families f------ katana. Holy f------ based. You'd rather he'd have picked a way gayer

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Anon makes the ultimate sacrifice for Lent | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37 KB JPG 03/03/23(Fri)12:47:10 No.72435110 >be me >give up cooming for Lent >not bad aside from intrusive thoughts (that's always tho) >notice girls are admiring more than usual >ChristlsKing.jpg >today a girl messages me on Discord >starts flirting and teasing >I get diamonds >oh no >arm is pressing into lap trying to hold r----------- down >I pull away and try to focus >even just reading her words puts me over the edge >MASSIVE load in my shorts >oh god oh f--- What do /r9k/ bros, am I damned for all eternity?

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Anon becomes a chad.. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37 KB JPG : Anonymous 11 Replies / 7 Images 19 KB PNG 04/12/18(Thu)20:03:59 No.44627714 >cashier accidentally said "love you" at the checkout See you virgins later. I must hang with my own chadly kind now. View Thread 04/12/18(Thu)20:28:47 No.44628062 >mommy said im cute later losers

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Anon realises | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 176 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous Anonymous 708 KB PNG 03/03/23(Fri)21:21:10 No.72437301 >Muh sports car goes VROOM VROOM View Thread 03/03/23(Fri)21:23:22 No.72437326 03/03/23(Fri)21:24:23 No.72437333 >>72437301 (OP) # >I'M HAPPY BECAUSE I HAVE ARBITRARY MATERIAL POSSESSIONS

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Anon watches ig reels and simps for actresses that look like children | /r/Greentext

9h (3/3 13:55) 895278099 · 79 Re. 15 Img JPG 320KB (1080 x 1347) 1674834050526226.jpg 14 Replies She really had us in a choke-hold for like1.5 months. 9h (3/3 13:55) · 895278111 8 Replies >>895278099 (OP) Nobody with an adult life and priorities gave a s--- >>895278111 >trips 9h (3/3 14:02) 895278296 3 Replies 9h (3/3 13:59) · 895278219 JPG 348KB (1280 × 1920) Ortega.jpg . She's a flat, skinny, slack-jawed f----- who f----- n------ on screen in not one but TWO films - X & The Fallout - and to me the bitch doesn't even f------ exist.

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Anon had a little bit of trouble with Lanius | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 543509053 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLIES 2 sa. önce >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 6 İMAGES RE

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On the road again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/22(Sun)10:48:00 No.69535039 >give my car to my sister >she loses the purse with the keys in >tells the family that we can't be angry at her because she's already "stressed" by the situation >just f------ slept all day long hoping for the purse just pops out >is already planning to go out again tonight >my car is still in another city and the keys might be in someone else hands Should I just beat her to death? 26 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/24/22(Sun)10:49:55 No.69535057 I'm not gonna lie to you bro, this is your fault (see the first line of your greentext).

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Anon is bullied. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Political implications of vtub(...) ook 961 KB PNG 03/03/23(Fri)16:38:23 No.17155616 QRD: >bullied in jp school for been a blonde mutt >retreats to streaming to western audience online in English to avoid getting bullied >garners a dedicated following for been light hearted and fun >suggest on stream to try out Hogwarts >twitter trannies goes ballistic >gets bullied off of streaming The girl just announced graduation (retirement) yesterday after months of radio silence.

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Anon's trol goes too far | /r/Greentext

Ma 12.3 kB JPG >be me >smoke a joint with an old friend i hadnt seen in years >after we finish he eats a roach w-- >he explains to me that it gets you 10x higher >mfw when i remember that 12 years ago i told him that fact as a joke >mfw he's been eating roaches for 12 years

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Anon scores high | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.23 MB PNG 03/03/23(Fri)10:35:20 No.72432941 quotient >be me >reading thread about autism >see link to an autism quotient test >do it knowing well that I'm autistic >42/50 >10/50 >colleague from work who clearly is autistic takes test >21/50 >I guess I really am that autistic >say to myself "this can't be right, I'm not that autistic" >wife takes the test link for anyone who asks https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum- >>72433454 # : Anonymous >>72432941 (OP) # >I got 29 >someone with 42 has a wife Yeah, I don't think my issue is autism 03/03/23(Fri)10:37:53 No.72432957

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M'GOODBOY TAKES THE NORMIEPILL | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO ultra smug.png, 53KiB, 200x200 >i'm actually now more of a chad >hook up with a solid 10/10 stacy >heckyes.jpeg >I forget that im autistic, instantly results >start working out >get social skills >now have a decent job >feelsgoodman Anonymous Sun 01 Apr 2018 19:15:25 No.44332405 >start visibly getting shook >"uh- excuse me for a sec" >rush to bath >i search my pants >no pills >oshoot.rar >be me >normies calling me autistic and stuff >reenormies.png >whatever >mom takes note of all threats and reports >mommy makes me take these autism pills >try to explain pills are for normies >mum promises me tendies after >lol.easymoney >take the pill >i get dressed, mom wishes me good luck >now at resteraunt >pretty fancy, heard they serve good food >waiter gives us appetizer and asks what we would like >stacy: "I'd like uhh lobster meal supreme and a steak please" >"and you anon?" >"chicken tend-" >suddenly i remember i forgot to take my pills >waiter: "excuse me sir?" >shaking, sit down >no, i cant do this to stacy >get up and start walking away >stacy: "a-anon, are you okay, where are you going?" >"er-erm, just, ready to order, haha" >sit back down >last 2 chad cells are overthrown >"I want tendies" >i feel the autism surging through my veins >chad cells try to fight back >waiter comes >"your order sir" >"a- ch-m-salmon me-chick-chicken tendies please" >waiter has no idea what im saying >"excuse me" >dumb waiter normie doesnt understand >"I WANT MY CHICKEN TENDIEEES" >REEEE >throw my appietizers at waiter >"REEEE I WANT MY MEME SAUCIESSS" >i start a food fight >chaos everywhere >"REEE TAKE THIS NORMIES" >take my clothes off >start throwing poo poo brownies everywhere >chocopies.mp3 >stacy runs out crying and fanning her makeup >lol bye nerd >police come, see me, and turn back >everyone runs out of the restraunt >reeenormies.jpeg >mommy comes to pick me up >she sees me watching adult swim on the tv >cries >"ANON WHY CANT YOU JUST BE NORMAL" >we hop in car and drive by mcd's >free of gbp charge >mommy will never get rid of her good boy! View Report

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