Anon scores high | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 1.23 MB PNG 03/03/23(Fri)10:35:20 No.72432941 quotient >be me >reading thread about autism >see link to an autism quotient test >do it knowing well that I'm autistic >42/50 >10/50 >colleague from work who clearly is autistic takes test >21/50 >I guess I really am that autistic >say to myself "this can't be right, I'm not that autistic" >wife takes the test link for anyone who asks https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum- >>72433454 # : Anonymous >>72432941 (OP) # >I got 29 >someone with 42 has a wife Yeah, I don't think my issue is autism 03/03/23(Fri)10:37:53 No.72432957

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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M'GOODBOY TAKES THE NORMIEPILL | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO ultra smug.png, 53KiB, 200x200 >i'm actually now more of a chad >hook up with a solid 10/10 stacy >heckyes.jpeg >I forget that im autistic, instantly results >start working out >get social skills >now have a decent job >feelsgoodman Anonymous Sun 01 Apr 2018 19:15:25 No.44332405 >start visibly getting shook >"uh- excuse me for a sec" >rush to bath >i search my pants >no pills >oshoot.rar >be me >normies calling me autistic and stuff >reenormies.png >whatever >mom takes note of all threats and reports >mommy makes me take these autism pills >try to explain pills are for normies >mum promises me tendies after >lol.easymoney >take the pill >i get dressed, mom wishes me good luck >now at resteraunt >pretty fancy, heard they serve good food >waiter gives us appetizer and asks what we would like >stacy: "I'd like uhh lobster meal supreme and a steak please" >"and you anon?" >"chicken tend-" >suddenly i remember i forgot to take my pills >waiter: "excuse me sir?" >shaking, sit down >no, i cant do this to stacy >get up and start walking away >stacy: "a-anon, are you okay, where are you going?" >"er-erm, just, ready to order, haha" >sit back down >last 2 chad cells are overthrown >"I want tendies" >i feel the autism surging through my veins >chad cells try to fight back >waiter comes >"your order sir" >"a- ch-m-salmon me-chick-chicken tendies please" >waiter has no idea what im saying >"excuse me" >dumb waiter normie doesnt understand >"I WANT MY CHICKEN TENDIEEES" >REEEE >throw my appietizers at waiter >"REEEE I WANT MY MEME SAUCIESSS" >i start a food fight >chaos everywhere >"REEE TAKE THIS NORMIES" >take my clothes off >start throwing poo poo brownies everywhere >chocopies.mp3 >stacy runs out crying and fanning her makeup >lol bye nerd >police come, see me, and turn back >everyone runs out of the restraunt >reeenormies.jpeg >mommy comes to pick me up >she sees me watching adult swim on the tv >cries >"ANON WHY CANT YOU JUST BE NORMAL" >we hop in car and drive by mcd's >free of gbp charge >mommy will never get rid of her good boy! View Report

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Anon Plays A Game

18 is 2.72 MB JPG >>3530308 # Anonymous >>3530287 (OP) # Eagle : Anonymous >>3530303 # Eagle >>3530320 # : Anonymous >>3530308 # Eagle >>3530322 # : Anonymous Post an animal that starts with the last letter of the previous post, I'll start >>3530320 # Eagle Bearded vulture 10/09/20(Fri)12:00:41 No.3530303 10/09/20(Fri)12:06:45 No.3530308 10/09/20(Fri)12:15:59 No.3530320 10/09/20 (Fri) 12:16:18 No.3530322

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Average CS student | /r/Greentext

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anons based politic take | /r/Greentext

1/1 +MI52p+P (OP) US 4h (3/3 4:12) 418304031 272 Re. 116 Img JPG 135KB (1080 x 1269) G11ypt2.jpg 41 Replies POV: you pspspsps'd the wrong gang 1/1 howd0qxB US 4h (3/3 4:13) 418304124 4 Replies My political beliefs are cats. All of their needs must be met and their comfort must be maximum. Those that bring harm to them must be met with DEATH, R---, AND INCINERATION. In no particular order. We will play it by ear. >>418304031 (OP) are you a single childless middle aged woman? 1/1 QbuxOhG6 AU 4h (3/3 4:14) 418304178 4 Replies 200 >>418304031 (OP) meowism is the way : ... ...

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Why are women like this bros? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12 hours ago 1677797414066475.jpg (100 KB, 1080x1440) 72426266 >woman at work is a part time 'comedian' >does gigs in local area every few weeks >one day we are working together and she asks 'to try a bit on me' >i SAY ok as she is cute and I am desperate >she does it >typical boring femoid humour, can't remember exactly what >pretend to enjoy it so she doesn't cry >I say 'haha how about a few jokes on me in the set?' >she asks what jokes I'd make about me, in her position >think of some on the spot >"so... there's this guy at work with a d--- curved like a BANANA... it's a shame it PEELS like a banana too, and is green like one too!" >"and this same guy has so much FORESKIN his d--- looks like an ANTEATER, but the only ants it really eats are inf-ANTS" >"And his d--- has so much cheese that my bones get stronger just from sucking his D---" >she doesn't laugh and seems offended >never speaks to me again

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Anon is a chipmunk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 148 KB JPG 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.77852004 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing

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Anon doesn't want his dick to stink | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 119 KB WEBM 02/26/23(Sun)20:04:23 No.72373381 >wash my penis everyday >it still stinks what am i doing wrong?

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Mexbros not like this | /r/Greentext

03/03/23(Fri)03:33:33 visiting burgerland for a week because family meeting >haven't seen my Dad ever since i was like 11 years old after he married to an american woman and permanently moved to Idaho >meet my half sister, she comes to pick me up to the airport because Dad is working : Anonymous st No.28477068 49 KB JPG >don't know much english except basic stuff that I learnt in highschool and google translate >try to ask my sister if she wants to be my friend >"do you want to mate?" (As long i knew "mate" was slang for buddy or friend, i thought i had asked her if she wanted to have a friendship with me) >her face retorts into absolute disgust and blush like a thousand suns >advert her gaze and laugh awkwardly while patting my shoulder in panic >5 hours later i connect dots and realize what i had truly asked >the shame i feel is immense Alright... Any advice? I think i gave her a bad first impression, everytime i try to apologize she sort of laughs nervously and avoid meeting my gaze, i think she is as ashamed as I'm, make sense I'm like a decade older than her, she is barely 17 and we are silbings, what i said was very awkward, how do i apologize? I have tried to write a letter and translate it with internet but this is more than translating issues, I'm just socially inept and don't know how to address the issue.

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Coca cola origin story | /r/Greentext

John Pemberton.jpg 40 KB JPG >Be me >Morphine addict >Create a drink to cure my addiction >Fail to cure myself >Fast forward a century later, half the human population is addicted to my drink Mfw I'm probably responsible for the most heart attacks around the globe Mfw I just wanted to cure my morphine addiction

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Bread is easy to make and will make her panties disappear, stop complaining | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/17/21 (Wed)21:31:41 No.66202332 >talking with girl >mention something i cooked >she asks me to cook for her >like f------ clockwork >ask what she wants >its always cupcakes, bread, or a burger what the f--- is wrong with girls? why dont they eat anything else? 66 KB JPG

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Anon is tired of waiting for two weeks | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: F4uub4Mv) Russia warns of nuclear apocal(...) 03/02/23(Thu)20:00:15 No.418270600 >The deputy chairman of Russia's security council, Dmitry Medvedev, has warned of a global nuclear apocalypse over West's continued supply of arms to HAPPENING Ukraine. "Our enemies'...goals will 10 KB JPG certainly lead to a total fiasco. Loss for everyone. A collapse. Apocalypse. Where you forget for centuries about your former life, until the rubble ceases to emit radiation," he said. https://inshorts.com/en/news/russia-warns-of-nuclear- apocalypse-over-wests-continued-supply-of-arms-to-uk IT'S raine-1677564933115 Anonymous (ID: bbweu6mS >>418270600 (OP) # do it f----- 03/02/23(Thu)20:01:36 No.418270729 >>418272265 # >>418274197 # >>418275191 # >>418275566 # >>418277852# Anonymous (ID: CpaC3RBu ) >>418284227 # : Anonymou 03/02/23(Thu)20:34:39 No.418274197 >>4182706 All over a ra DO IT F----- >>418270600 (OP) # >>418270729 # >>418272265 #

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Anon tries to date a cute twink | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 207 KB JPG 03/02/23(Thu)19:03:06 No.29876605 >be dating cute twink >4th date they were something that makes me notice small breasts >me, "woah do you have boobs?" >him "oh yeah I take estrogen but im just a guy" >date is kind of awkward after that, contemplate continuing to tlsee the person, decide yes because we have similar interests and there the first person I've dated, things have been going well but not great >go out a few more times and they dress to hide there chest >8th date we go back to my place, start fooling around >they ask for head >get ready to go down on them >remove there pants >vagina >me"wait what the f---" >*him* "what's wrong" >me "I thought you said you were a guy on estrogen" >*him* "i am a guy the estrogen is natural" >me "I think we should just watch a movie tonight" >*him* "whatever f-----, and leaves" >go to bed incredibly confused on what happened What the f--- happened last night????

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